“Thank you,” I said quietly.
“Don’t be. We are going to kick some major butt today. And I’m going to enjoy it.” She settled back in the seat and took a bite of the chocolate bar.
Apparently we were off to slay a dragon.
CHAPTER 5
The Starton University campus was bigger than I expected. I did have all kinds of expectations of pulling up and spotting Lochie sitting lazily on the lawns. That wasn’t the reality, far from it.
The large imposing building took up several blocks by itself. And that didn’t include all the dorm buildings, the restaurants, and the bookstores. There was no chance of stumbling across Lochie with nothing but sheer luck working for me.
Lola was having similar thoughts. “This place is huge. You could fit our entire town in here.” That was an exaggeration, but I completely understood anyway. “What’s his dorm building called?”
“I don’t know.” She stopped to stare at me incredulously. “I didn’t think it would be this big. I didn’t even think I was going to surprise him with a visit. I never asked for details.”
Lola rolled her eyes and grabbed my wrist. “Come on then, I’m starving for some real food. We might get lucky and he’ll find us.”
“If Lochie sees us, he’s going to run in the opposite direction,” I pointed out. She shrugged and kept pulling me along anyway. We ended up in one of the campus cafés, it was full of college students. They all looked way cooler than me, confirming my theory that Lochie’s new girlfriend was probably a student here.
We took a table near the front of the café, giving us a good view of the street outside. Even with both of us watching out over our coffees and quiche, Lochie was proving elusive.
We had been sitting there so long, we started getting dirty looks from the waitresses. Apparently they needed the table and we had not met the required quota of food to keep ours. We shuffled out into the street mid-afternoon.
“Any of these girls could be his new girlfriend,” I said sadly. “My replacement.”
Lola punched me on the arm playfully. “Nobody could replace you, Ame. You are one of a kind.” I gave her a thankful look.
“So now what? Go home in defeat?” A part of me was really hoping she’d think that was a good idea. At least I had tried, right? Just because I didn’t succeed didn’t mean I was a loser. God, I didn’t even believe myself.
“Now we get proactive,” Lola replied. “Do you have any photos of Lochie on your phone?”
“Of course I do. I have, like, a million of them.”
“Good, bring one up and let’s do some digging.”
I flicked through the photos in my cell, trying not to get all emotional about the memories they conjured up. I had to stay focused on the mission, I could not be sidetracked down memory lane.
I stopped on one I took at the beach. A shirtless Lochie should get some peoples’ attention, anyway. “How about this one? It shows his face quite clearly.”
Lola agreed and it took a moment to find someone that looked approachable enough. Most people rushed by, barely glancing at the photo I shoved under their noses.
After we’d been shrugged off by about a dozen people, I realized we needed to be more selective. I picked a girl sitting on the campus lawn. Her blonde hair shone in the sun, creating a halo around her head. She didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get anywhere. She would probably also notice a good looking guy when she saw one.
She could also have been Lochie’s new girlfriend. I tried not to think about that as I approached her with a friendly smile plastered on my face.
“Hi there, do you have a second?” I asked, kneeling beside her. Lola watched on.
“Sure, what do you want?” She seemed nice enough.
I showed her the photo. “We’re looking for this guy. He’s going to school here. I was wondering if you might have seen him anywhere?”
She squinted, holding the phone and positioning the glare from the screen away. “Yeah, I’ve seen him around. He lives in my dorm block.”
“Really?” I sounded way too eager. I toned it down a few notches. “Which dorm block is that? There seems to be so many around here.”
“Whittington House.” She turned around and pointed at a two-story building near the college. “That one there.”
“Do you know what room number he’s in?”
“No, sorry. I don’t know him, just remember his face. He’s hot.”
I stood and thanked her. We were narrowing down the search, that was something. Lola and I crossed the lawn and checked out Whittington House.
There wasn’t really much to check out. Both floors were made up of a long corridor with a lounge area at each end. There was nothing to say which room belonged to whom. Lochie could have been in any one of them.
“This isn’t going to work,” I stated.
“So what do you want to do?” Lola asked. The endless search was wearing us both down.
“We could stake out the building for a while? He’s got to leave or come back eventually, right?”
“Okay. Outside will give us the best vantage point. Inside we might miss him.” I had to agree. We returned to the car and positioned it under a shady tree for some sun protection. We settled in for the wait.
And so we waited. And waited. The hours passed, the sun started its descent down to the horizon. There was no sign of Lochie on the college campus. Besides dozens of other people going about their business, there was no-one we recognized.
It looked like we had wasted the entire day on a fool’s errand and we were going to go home empty handed. The words I had wanted to say were going to be left on the tip of my tongue, unable to be spoken.
“Is that him?” Lola exclaimed, grabbing my hand with her excitement. I followed her line of sight and saw a familiar figure walking on the path toward the dorm block.
I would recognize that gait anywhere. Even in the depth of my hurt and sadness, I was pulled toward him. My eyes could have fallen on any of the people milling around, but they went straight to him. His gravitational pull too much for me to resist.
“That’s him,” I confirmed. Lochie was carrying a backpack over one shoulder, his blue shirt and black shorts ones I had seen him wearing before. He looked so familiar. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn’t mine anymore. He didn’t want me.
“Well?” Lola looked at me expectantly.
I froze up. I wanted to charge over to him and say everything I needed to. But I couldn’t. It was like my body had ceased to be connected to my brain and had completely shut down.
“I can’t.”
“You have to. We’ve been waiting in this boiling hot car all day. Go give him a piece of your mind. Now!”
I wasn’t ready. The day had been too long, the pain was still too raw on my nerves. “How about we just follow him and get his room number? We can stay the night and come back tomorrow.”
“Are you sure that’s what you really want to do?” Lola asked gently. I nodded and we climbed out of the car quietly. Lingering back, we stayed a discreet distance away from Lochie. Now he wasn’t with me, he didn’t have a need to be on guard all the time. It showed in the way he didn’t even look around as he walked like he once would have. How could three weeks have changed so much? It was like the blink of an eye in the span of a lifetime.
Lochie entered Whittington House, the name twisted in wrought iron above the door. We fastened our pace so we wouldn’t lose him. Popping inside the door just in time to see his feet on the stairs to the second level.
“Wait,” I whispered, stopping Lola with my arm. We waited a few more beats before climbing the stairs ourselves. There was no way I wanted to risk a confrontation yet. Not until I was truly ready for it.
Lochie was down the corridor when we reached the top of the stairs. We lingered in the lounge area, drawing a few weird looks from the people sitting around. I faced the window, wishing it was darker so I could see the reflections.
Lola kept watch,
doing her best to fit in. “He’s gone. I know the room.”
We continued our walk, trying to blend in like we were supposed to be there. It was pretty difficult when we both looked so suspicious. I thought for sure everyone that glanced at us knew we were up to no good, like it was written in a flashing light above my head again.
I waited a few doors down while Lola flashed past Lochie’s door. She ran back again. “Dorm sixteen,” she whispered as she passed me. I turned and followed.
We left Whittington House and returned to the car. One of the most convenient things about a college town is the abundance of cheap motels in close range. Lola and I stopped at the first one we found with a shining vacancy sign and got a room for the night. The clerk barely looked at us as we checked in.
The room was basic but it was relatively clean. The décor would have been fashionable about thirty years ago, now it had a quaint retro feel to it. Nearly everything in there was a shade of brown.
“Hardly the Ritz,” Lola said, flopped down on the bed – there was only one.
“Sorry to get you involved in all this,” I said, the only words that came to mind.
“Don’t be. It’s fun. I feel like we’re Thelma and Louise or something.” She flashed me a tired grin. “But, FYI, if you are planning on driving over a cliff tomorrow, I’m not coming with you. I love you, but I’m not insane.”
I laughed, because truly, that’s all I could do in the strange situation I’d gotten us both into. “Got it, no cliffs.” I sat on the other side of the bed and flicked on the television absentmindedly. “We should eat.”
“Do you think they have room service?” We both laughed at that.
“I saw a McDonald’s just down the road. I can go grab something if you want first go in the shower?”
Lola couldn’t argue with that. I walked the block to get some burgers, the entire time hoping I didn’t run into a certain someone along the way. Every girl I saw haunted me, thinking any of them could be the new love of Lochie’s life.
Lola was drying her hair when I got back, dressed in the pajamas from my panic bag. It was the first time I had opened it since packing and placing it in my car. At least it wasn’t a real emergency I was using it for. Still, it came in very handy.
We ate in silence, watching the evening news on the ancient television. There were no updates on the alien situation, which was a relief. If the aliens hit the news, normally it was because something bad had happened.
I took a shower, texted my adoptive mom to let her know where I was, and changed into the other set of pajamas, crawling into bed like it was the most luxurious place in the world. It wasn’t. It kind of had a weird smell.
Lola reached over and flicked off the lamp, shrouding us in darkness. I didn’t like being in the dark, even when I slept. I normally slumbered with a night light on, but nobody knew that except Lochie. I was too embarrassed to mention it to Lola or anyone else. Lochie always used to have a deep understanding, he knew why I would be scared and left it at that. He never tried to push me. Others weren’t the same, not even my best friend.
“I’m not really tired,” Lola confessed in the darkness. “We may have been premature in going to bed.” The bed shifted as she turned over. Even in the dark I could feel her eyes looking at me. “Ame, you still awake?”
Like I could sleep, my mind wouldn’t turn off. “Nope.”
“How did it feel to see Lochie today?” She asked quietly, almost in a whisper.
“Conflicted.”
“Huh?”
I guess I needed to explain a little further. “My first instinct was to run over and jump into his arms because I’ve missed him so much. I had to keep reminding myself that he didn’t want me anymore.”
“That sucks.”
I laughed, despite myself. “It sure does.”
We remained in the dark. Somewhere outside a car honked their horn and a woman yelled back.
“Hey, Lola,” I started. She murmured back. “Do you ever think of the whole alien thing when you look at me? Do you think I’m different?”
“You’ve always been different, ever since I met you. No human is ever that nice all the time.” I could tell she was smiling without having to see her, it was in every word she spoke. “But, seriously, no I don’t. You’re no more alien than I am.”
“But I am. People see me and they get scared. Or angry.” The incident at the gas station was still plaguing my mind. “It makes me wonder if I’m fooling myself trying to be normal. Like maybe I’m really not.”
“You know what I thought when you first told me your story?”
I remembered it vividly. “You thought it was cool.”
“That’s what I said, but it wasn’t everything that was going through my mind. I thought that you must have been the strongest person I’ve ever met because of everything you were doing for your people. You didn’t ask to be in the project, you didn’t choose to be, you just were and you accepted it. And then you did it to the best of your ability. That takes strength and I’ve always admired you for that.”
It took a few moments for her words to sink in and process in my tired brain. I never considered myself strong. My position in Project Integrate was something I had done because I had to. To think of it as something noble was kind of awesome.
“That’s nice of you to say, but it doesn’t change the fact I’m still an alien. Maybe I have no right to be here.”
Lola clawed her way across the bed until her hand reached mine. She squeezed it. “Don’t ever say that. You know I am the center of the universe and I give you permission to be here. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You hear?”
I squeezed her fingers back. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She grew quiet. After a while all I could hear was her slow, rhythmic breathing. I closed my eyes and tried to quiet my mind. At least I still had Lola, even if I had lost Lochie. I got the feeling she would be with me for the rest of my life, no matter what happened in the world.
We woke up early the next morning. I had two clean outfits in my panic bag. Lola wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about my sense of style but she only grizzled a little so I took that as a win. I had pretty much exhausted my change of clothes so we would have to go home before nightfall.
There were a lot more students milling around the campus when we arrived. We parked under the same tree as the day before and waited. Considering the thought of going up to Lochie’s dorm gave me heart palpitations, we were going to hang out on the lawns again for a little while. Just until I could summon the courage to do what I had to do.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get that opportunity before Lochie emerged from the building and headed down the path. He was walking with purpose, determined to get somewhere. I assumed it was to some fascinating class that he hadn’t told me anything about.
“Now’s your chance, alien,” Lola said. Since our heartfelt chat in the darkness, she seemed to find it funny to call me alien. Coming from anyone else, I would have been offended. Lola could get anyway with anything in my opinion.
“I’m not ready yet,” I admitted. My throat was closed, barely allowing me to talk.
“Seriously?”
All I could do was shake my head, apparently it was still functioning when nothing else would. My mind was filled with images of Lochie and I together, how he wouldn’t look at me the same way now, how he wouldn’t even want to talk to me. It was so stupid coming here. I really was a fool thinking it would change anything.
“Come on, he’s going to get away,” Lola said, her voice rising with panic. All my panic was internal but it didn’t make it any less so.
“I… I can’t.”
She gave me one last exasperated look before opening the car door. Another moment of panic as I thought she might drag me out of the car with her.
“If you’re not going to do anything, then I will,” she declared, slamming the door. The car shook with the effort.
All I could
do was watch in horror as she stomped over the lawn to catch up with Lochie. She grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around with surprise.
I wished I could hear what they were saying, I would have killed to eavesdrop. Judging by Lola’s hand gestures, whatever she was saying was angry. Lochie just stood there, impassively watching her go on. I had no idea what was going on inside his mind.
Lola pushed him. She actually shoved at his chest. He took a step back but didn’t fight with her. If I had done that to him, he would have grabbed my wrists to stop me. I guess we argued more passionately than most.
People around them were starting to take notice. A few slowed down to watch and listen, others started gossiping. They were probably going to be a topic of hot conversation for the rest of the day. Lochie and the crazy girl abusing him, I could see the stories now.
Lola threw her arms up in the air before stomping back toward the car. Lochie watched her go the entire way. Our eyes met, locking on each other even from such a distance away. There could have been a million things exchanged in that single look but I couldn’t understand any of them. All I registered were the beautiful blue eyes that I had lost myself in an infinite amount of times.
The car door opened and slammed closed again, breaking the spell. In the second it took to look at Lola, Lochie disappeared. He was gone in the blink of an eye.
“I understand now why he annoys you so much,” Lola grumbled.
“What did he say?”
“Nothing. Apart from ‘hi’ he said not a damn thing.”
There were a million questions I wanted to ask then. Like did he seem okay, was he taking care of himself, did he seem like he was enjoying classes? I couldn’t find the words to ask any of them. “Really, nothing? He said nothing?”
“Nothing,” she confirmed. That didn’t sound like Lochie. If there was one thing he excelled at, it was fighting. We could argue about anything all day long. Silent Lochie was scary Lochie. He didn’t exist.
A knock on my window, right beside my head, gave me a heart attack. In the time it took me to turn around, I thought for sure it would be him. That he’d come to his senses and was going to beg for me to take him back.
Project Integrate Series Boxed Set Page 93