The newsreader tried to explain. “These are the faces of aliens, sent to Earth to infiltrate unsuspecting communities with the sole intent of destroying the human race. We can exclusively reveal the secret plan to rid Earth of humans so they can take over our planet.”
The others all spoke about things I couldn’t even process. Aliens. Project Integrate. Conspiracy. Government cover up.
What. The. Hell.
The newsreader continued. “What seems like a science fiction movie,” the stern face continued. “Is real, verified independently by our producers. The aliens aren’t just coming, they’re already here and have been for the past seventeen years.”
It felt like I had fallen into some dream where nothing made sense. No, make that a nightmare. Why was Amery’s photograph on the news with the word alien spread across the screen? What was going on? Aliens didn’t exist. Amery wasn’t an alien. It was crazy just thinking about it.
“Amery-” I started but she interrupted. The more the newsreader spoke, the more the real picture was forming of what was going on.
“Lochie, let me explain,” she said. Explain what? How she had been lying to me for our entire lives? That she hadn’t even trusted me enough to keep this secret for her? I would have. God, I would have done everything I could to protect her.
I couldn’t stand there a moment longer. I needed to be moving. She had been lying to me all that time. I started heading toward the door. Even if it was just to get some air, I had to move.
She tried to stop me. Which was ironic considering I had been the one to want to hold onto her. Now it was her turn to know what that kind of loss felt like.
There was just one thing I needed to know before I left. “Is it true? Are you an alien?” She couldn’t even look me in the eyes.
“It’s true. But I was going to tell you, that’s why I asked you to come here. I swear, Lochie, I was going-”
“You lied to me.”
“I didn’t want to, I had to. I was trying to protect you.”
“You were trying to protect yourself,” I said, harsher than I had intended. I hated hurting her. The pain in her eyes was unbearable to see. But I was hurting too. The ache in my chest was getting worse. Even the tiniest pieces of my heart were shattering into even more pieces now.
I left the house and hurried to get into my car. She continued to follow me, begging and pleading for me to listen to her the entire way. I had to stay strong. If I didn’t leave right then and there, I was going to break down and I couldn’t do that in front of her. I couldn’t have her seeing me so broken.
“Lochie, you have to listen to me.”
“I don’t have to listen to anything you say. You are nothing but a liar and I don’t want to hear any more of your lies.” God, it hurt. I was a splintered and broken pile of skin and bones. I couldn’t look at her and see the same woman.
I drove off, watching her the entire time in the rearview mirror. She stood there until I turned a corner and she disappeared right out of my life.
There was no way I could drive in that condition. I took a few more turns and pulled over. Resting my head on the steering wheel, I allowed the pain to take over. I would let out the hurt before going any further away from her.
How could it all have been nothing but a lie? The crazy thing was I didn’t even care that she was an alien. She was Amery, that was it. I had fallen in love with her in the fourth grade and had known she was the woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life ever since. Knowing she was an alien didn’t change that.
But the lying did.
Amery had ample opportunity to tell me. Maybe not before we started dating, but definitely afterwards. How many quiet moments had we spent together, just the two of us, lounging around and enjoying each other’s company? She could have told me in any of those moments. But she had chosen not to. That was a decision she had made.
And I wanted to hate her for it. If I could hate her, it would make the hurt easier to take. I could funnel every piece of pain and reshape it into a pure hatred that would burn within me. It would fuel my recovery, erase all memories of her.
But I couldn’t do it.
Despite the lying, the stupid I’m sorry note, shacking up with that dick, I loved her. Eight years of pure love didn’t just vanish in an instant. It festered like a disease, threatening to linger there forever without a cure.
I had never felt that kind of pain before. I couldn’t believe it could be caused by the one person who I thought would never hurt me like that. The one person who had said she loved me.
I turned on the engine again, wondering if I would ever be a whole man again.
* * *
In the days that followed, so much happened it was like a blur. Amery had called me several times but I never picked up. She would try to explain what happened and I would only want to believe her. I couldn’t do it though, the pain was still too real.
She even turned up at my house once. I pretended I wasn’t home. Just seeing her was like being pierced through the heart with a spear. Talking to her would have been like being set on fire alive.
The aliens and this so called Project Integrate was all over the news. You couldn’t live without seeing some story about it. I stopped watching the news eventually, I couldn’t take Amery’s face being all over it.
My mother was horrified at it all. She said I was lucky to avoid getting really involved with an alien. Little did she know what had happened upstairs just a week ago. She didn’t know just how involved I really was.
When I’d spoken about Amery with one of my friends in confidence, he had said what we did was disgusting. The fact I had gone to bed with an alien was apparently something I should have been grossed out by. Even though he was my closest friend, he said I shouldn’t tell anyone about it.
I wasn’t disgusted by it. What people didn’t understand was that Amery was Amery. Her body was just as human as the rest of her. Even if she did come from another planet, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like she had scales or antennae or anything. She had the hottest body I had ever had the privilege of seeing naked.
The only thing I knew for sure was that I would never say anything bad about her. I would defend her and the rest of the aliens until my last breath. She didn’t deserve what was happening. Despite the lying, Amery was the most innocent, kindest person I had ever met. Branding her as a deviant because of her origins was just plain wrong.
I was thinking about her when I was walking down the streets of Portview. I was going to visit Lola, try to get some information out of her. Against all my better judgment, I wanted to know if Amery was alright with everything going on. I needed to know she was okay. Lola was my best shot at finding out.
A crowd was starting to gather near Lola’s record store. I got closer, hoping someone wasn’t hurt. It took a few moments to wrangle my way through but when I did, I was glad for it.
The people were gathered around Amery. She was cowering in the center of it all, trying to get them to leave her alone. They were alien haters, part of the racist bigots who wanted the aliens destroyed.
It wasn’t the aliens’ fault they had to come to Earth. If Amery was anything to go by, I knew they would eventually integrate peacefully. Given a few years nobody would even know the difference between them and us.
Unless they were all like the dick, Garrick. If that was the case, then they shouldn’t come to our planet. They could be destroyed by the asteroid and do us all a favor. Harsh I know, but I really didn’t like that guy.
The people in the crowd were starting to really hurt Amery. I muscled my way closer and grabbed her by the collarbone. Someone needed to get her out of there and it didn’t look like anybody else was going to do it.
I pulled her shoulder. She fought me, trying to get out of my hold. Her independence was going to get her killed one of these days.
“Just close your mouth for once in your life,” I growled at her. She softened a little, she must have finally recognized I
was trying to help her. She allowed herself to be dragged along.
I took her down the street, not letting her out of my grasp until we were in an alleyway – alone.
Just her and me.
I was angry as hell at her for getting into that situation. If I hadn’t been there… I hated to think what would have happened to her.
She looked exactly as she always had. No tail or antennae had suddenly sprouted up. Just Amery. The gorgeous Amery.
“What were you thinking?” I started. “People want to kill you and you go walking down the street? Are you that stupid?”
“I came to see Lola, I didn’t think people would notice me,” she answered meekly.
“You thought nobody would notice you? Your picture is everywhere. There are nightly news bulletins splashing your face over every television screen in Portview. And you…? You really thought…?” I started pacing, clenching and unclenching my fists. I wanted to wring her neck with them.
“I really didn’t think they’d notice.”
“Are you trying to get yourself killed? Seriously?” Why couldn’t she understand how dangerous it was? I was still shaking from the adrenalin of it all. What was wrong with her? Did she have a death wish? I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if something happened to her. Just the thought…
“Lochie, I’m sorry. About everything, I’m sorry. I know I was stupid and I won’t do it again. I’m trying to stay safe, really.”
I took a few breaths to calm down. I couldn’t keep yelling at her, she wouldn’t understand it was because I was so goddamn frightened for her. “Where are you staying? Tell me you haven’t been holed up in that damn trailer with him.”
She shook her head. “There’s an underground bunker out on Nelson’s Farm Way. I’m staying there with… others like me.”
She was so close, I could smell the jasmine and vanilla. It couldn’t be her shampoo, it was just her. The scent was intoxicating, threatening to weaken me.
I leant against the wall beside her, trying to get some semblance of control back. All those feelings I had tried so desperately to block out were threatening to rush back and overwhelm me.
All I wanted to do was pull her against me and kiss her until I couldn’t breathe. It was all I could think of. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t allow it to happen. Frustrated, I hit the wall and started pacing again.
“How can you think sorry will fix all this?” I asked. I really wanted to know the answer because I wished sorry would fix it all. I wanted to take back the last week and pretend it didn’t happen. Back to before she left the I’m sorry note.
“I don’t. I know it will take more but I need an opportunity to explain. I need you to hear me out.”
“You had every chance to explain. At any time, you could have told me. But you didn’t. You chose to lie to me instead. You made a fool out of me.”
Little flares of fire blazed in her eyes, that old stubbornness returning. “Would it have made any difference if I told you? You hate what I am. You’re disgusted by it.”
Was she kidding? After everything we had gone through? She thought I was disgusted by her? What could I have possibly done to make her think that? How many times had I told her how beautiful she was? How many times had I looked into her eyes and said she was special? I thought I had made sure she knew how much I loved her. I thought I had expressed it that night, at least.
My feelings didn’t change overnight when I found out what she was. None of that had changed even one tiny little bit. She was still the most beautiful, special woman in the world.
Clearly, I needed to explain. “I don’t hate what you are. I hate that you lied about it.”
Amery looked completely confused. “You’re okay with what I am?”
“I don’t care what you are, I fell in love with you. Whatever you are. But I asked you outright at the university campus if you were an alien and you said no. You lied to my face. What else have you lied about?”
I wondered if she ever considered telling me, really considered it. If she did, why would she have concluded it was best I didn’t know? That question hurt most of all.
“I’m sorry, Lochie. I really am,” she said sincerely. At least it sounded sincere.
“I am too.”
She took a step away from me, signaling the end of the conversation. “I should go.”
I didn’t stop her.
But I couldn’t let her get hurt either. I followed her all the way to her car, making sure she got away safely. Breaking up was one thing, losing her forever was a whole other issue.
A part of me wanted to forget everything that happened and run to her. We were Lochie and Amery, a team. I used to think we could do anything as long as we were doing it together. I desperately wanted to get back to that. I just wasn’t sure if she did too.
I returned to the record store and waited around until Lola had her break. I shouted her a hot chocolate. The reason for my speaking to her was no longer valid. I now knew how Amery was – stupid and foolish, but alive.
So instead I filled her in on what just happened out on the street. She gasped at all the appropriate moments. “So Amery’s okay?” She asked when I was done.
“Yeah, she left in one piece.”
“Good thing you were there.”
I didn’t really agree. I could have gone without seeing her like that. I shrugged, noncommittal. I wasn’t going to pour my heart out to her. I had a reputation to uphold.
“Do you think you guys will work it out between you?” Lola asked quietly, unsure of my reaction. At least I had calmed down significantly.
“I don’t know,” I replied. That was the truth.
Lola pursed her lips, studying me again. She did that a lot, it was unnerving. “You won’t like hearing this, but you can’t blame her for following the project rules. She had to live by them, even when she didn’t want to.”
My brow wrinkled with confusion. “What project rules?”
“Amery didn’t explain?” Lola was genuinely surprised that this information had been withheld. Apparently Amery kept a lot of secrets from me.
“She never said a word.”
“She, and all the other project members, had to live by these strict rules. They couldn’t tell anyone what they were, they had to be nice to everyone, they-”
“She wasn’t always nice to me,” I interrupted, thinking of the hundreds of fights we had. Snarky comments were shot my way on a daily basis for almost seventeen years – since she could talk.
Lola grinned, well aware of our history. “Nice to everyone else but you. She couldn’t date anyone either, she had to do everything the Department said.”
“She couldn’t date?”
“Nope, not until she was eighteen. She was risking everything for you. If the Department found out, she would have been locked up or something.”
Now who felt like the dick. Amery had put her life on the line being with me. Every moment spent together had the potential for dire consequences. I never realized.
Lola continued. “Amery loved the project, she truly believed in everything it stood for. She was happy to sacrifice so much personally just to be able to help her people. Being kicked out of the project would have been the worst thing possible for her. And yet she risked it anyway. For you.”
For me.
I plied Lola with food for the next half hour until she had told me everything she knew about Project Integrate – everything the news wasn’t reporting.
By the end of it, my mind was spinning from the revelations. All that anger and pain melted away. Left in its wake was admiration and a deep, true love for Amery. Everything she had to do, how she had to live her life, I never understood the extent of it.
Lying to me wouldn’t have been easy for her. I knew that now. But it was part of the project rules and she had no say over it.
But it might not be too late. I would beg and plead if I had to, but I needed her to know that I understood. I had to tell her that it was o
kay, that I got why she lied.
I drove straight to Nelson’s Farm Way with my heart in my hands and ready to give it back to her. She had held it for a very long time.
And I hoped she would continue to hold it for all time.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Jamie Campbell grew up in the New South Wales town of Port Macquarie as the youngest of six children. She now resides on the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia.
Writing since she could hold a pencil, Jamie’s passion for storytelling and wild imagination were often a cause for concern with her school teachers. Now that imagination is used for good instead of mischief.
Visit www.jamiecampbell.com.au now for exclusive website only content and free downloads.
Jamie loves hearing from her readers, send her an email at [email protected]
Also by the Author:
A Hairy Tail
Fairy Tales Retold
All The Pretty Ghosts
Ashes to Ashes
A World Without Angels
Angel’s Uprising
Gifted
Fashion Fraud
Liar
Love Songs
Dark Eyes: Cursed
Songbird
The Star Kissed Series
Through a Tangled Woods
Trouble
Two Beating Hearts
Copyright © 2013 - 2014 Jamie Campbell
Smashwords Edition
Jamie Campbell asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
Project Integrate Series Boxed Set Page 117