A sliver of happiness broke through her sadness. He’d found where he belonged after all.
“I need to get to know them again,” Flynn went on. “My mother jumping out of an airplane confirms that much. We’ve drifted apart because I was too arrogant to admit I was wrong; that I’d made a mistake with Trevor. But I see all that much more clearly now. I see my life’s gone off track and I’ve lost what’s important. Because of you.”
“So you’re what? Quitting your business?”
“I’m not sure.” Nowhere on his face did she see an inkling of doubt. “I’ve asked Jocelyn and Kirk to fly out so we can talk about it. Maybe I can stay on as a silent partner, or a part-time consultant. Maybe I’ll let them buy me out or maybe I’ll just quit, like you said. But whatever I decide to do, I want you to decide it with me.”
Every nerve ending in her body fired. “You want what?” She sank back on her heels, pressed her hand against her thudding heart.
“For such a smart woman you can be awfully dense.” He knelt in front of her, ran his hands down her sweater covered arms. “I love you, Sabrina Benoit. I think I have from the moment you tripped me in the hospital.”
“I didn’t trip—” She bit her lip when he grinned. She’d fallen into his trap. “Flynn, please don’t do this.” She didn’t want to hear, didn’t want to know that he loved her. Didn’t want to be forced into saying what was breaking her heart.
“Too late. It’s done. From the moment I met you it’s like this door that’s been locked inside of me was thrown open. You opened it. You opened my eyes and all I see is you.”
She covered her mouth, but not before a sob escaped. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be saying all the words she’d dreamed of hearing even as she realized this was her greatest fear manifesting in front of her eyes.
“Tell me you’ll reconsider,” he urged. “You love me, Sabrina. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be struggling. You wouldn’t be fighting me—”
“Don’t tell me what I feel.” She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. But she could move. She wrenched herself free and stumbled to her feet. “You have no right, Flynn. No right.” Tears blinded her as she turned away from him, headed for the path back to the car. She could hear him behind her, heard her name catch on the wind.
She ran, as fast as she could. The weeds and grass tangled around her legs. Her lungs burned; her chest ached. Her hands and feet went numb. Her head went light.
Gasping, clutching at her chest, she toppled to the side, grabbed the trunk of a tree and slid to the ground. Her heart beat so fast she couldn’t keep up. Panic seized her, wrapped its unforgiving band around her chest and squeezed.
“Sabrina!” Flynn dropped down beside her, framed her face in his hands as he turned panic-stricken eyes on her. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
She wheezed, tried to drag in a breath, but couldn’t. She shook her head. Her mouth had gone dry. “Hos-hospital.” She gripped his shoulders with her fingers, dug in as hard as she could. “Get—me…” She couldn’t swallow.
He scooped her into his arms. She sagged, all the energy draining out of her. She blinked against the darkness closing in, lifted her hand to his face. She felt the tension in his jaw, saw the determination and fear in his eyes.
If this was her time, so be it. Her eyes drifted closed.
If this was her time, there wasn’t anyplace else she’d rather be.
~*~
“Drink. Coffee. Decaf.” Trevor pushed a paper cup in front of Flynn’s face before he took a seat beside him.
“Thanks.” Flynn popped off the plastic lid, if only because it was something to do.
“Any word?”
Flynn shook his head. At least he thought he did. He couldn’t be sure about anything at the moment. He barely remembered the drive from the valley to the ER. He only remembered the paralyzing fear of feeling her pass out in his arms before he even got her into the car. “Thank you for coming.”
“You called. You’re family.” Trevor cringed after he sipped. “You both are. Mom and Dad are on their way. They had to find someone to watch the kids.”
Flynn nodded. What was happening? How had his life gone from finding everything he never knew he wanted to being on the verge of losing it all? “She can’t die.”
“She’s not going to die,” Trevor argued, no doubt because it was their brotherly comfort zone.
“You don’t know that.” No one knew that. Except…
He heard the click clack of his mother’s crutches before he spotted his parents rounding the corner into the ER waiting area. “How is she?”
Flynn shook his head. “Dr. Waverly is in with her now. Sit down, Mom.”
“I’m fine.” She turned around so fast his father backed out the way. “There he is. Doctor!”
Dr. Waverly approached only instead of subdued humor on his face Flynn saw concern as he got to his feet. His stomach dropped.
“We’ve got her stabilized.” Dr. Waverly pushed his glasses higher up on his nose. “Her medical tags gave us a place to start. We’ll keep her for a few days days, adjust her medication. Run some more tests. She should be fine soon.”
“She’s sick, isn’t she?” It was the only explanation as to her behavior, Flynn realized. “Something serious.”
“Her underlying condition, yes. But I think something she’s been eating or drinking interfered with her medication. She’s showing signs of dehydration which tells me she hasn’t been drinking a lot of water or if she is, something’s leeching it out of her system. That combined with little sleep…”
“She’s been living on kale smoothies,” Flynn muttered. “I knew that healthy stuff would kill her.”
“Well, we should look into what she’s been putting in them,” Dr. Waverly suggested. “Hard to believe she wouldn’t have paid attention, but sometimes these reactions come out of the blue. What’s been fine for a while can suddenly turn.”
“What is her condition exactly?” Eileen asked.
“It’s a genetic heart defect.” He rattled off some technical term that made Flynn’s brain hurt. “Sabrina was able to give me a brief family history. Apparently both her mother and sister died from it. Grandfather, too. It happens suddenly, most of the time without any warning, so I’m going to take what happened today as a good sign. You got her here fast, Flynn. You saved her life.”
Trevor laid a hand on Flynn’s shoulder and squeezed. “Told you she was going to be fine.”
“So she’s awake?” Brady said. “We can see her?”
“For a few minutes. I’d like her to get as much rest as possible. I’m not going to rule out giving her a sedative. Also, if one of you could send me a list of the medications she’s been taking, and a list of whatever foods and such she’s been eating, we can run tests to see what the reaction was from.”
“I can do that,” Trevor said. “I’ll take pictures and email them to you.”
“Perfect.” Dr. Waverly handed him his card. “If you’d like to see her now, she’s in room number four. We’ll have her moved up to the cardiac wing in a bit.”
“We won’t stay long,” Eileen promised and followed the doctor through the swinging door.
“I’ve got this,” Trevor told Flynn who wasn’t sure what do to. “You go see her. If anything, she won’t be leaving for a while. Gives you a chance to talk her into staying. If you didn’t already.”
“I should have seen it.” Anger percolated in Flynn’s gut. “I should have asked more questions, paid closer attention, but…” But he’d been too worried about pushing her away. But how could she have let him believe, even for a minute she didn’t care about him rather than tell him the truth about her health? Did she think it would make a difference? Did she believe he’d run out on her?
“I’m sure she had her reasons. Don’t jump to conclusions, Flynn. Let her explain.”
Once Trevor went back to the guest house, Flynn headed to room four, stood outside while he listened to
his parents fuss over Sabrina. He found himself smiling at Sabrina’s protests that turned to resignation on a sigh.
Tamping down on his anger wasn’t nearly as difficult as shoving aside the fear. In his entire life he’d never been so terrified. One minute she’d been perfectly fine and the next…he squeezed his eyes shut. And the next he’d almost lost her.
“Flynn?” His father stepped out of the room and rested a reassuring hand on his arm. “I think she’s getting sleepy.”
“Yeah, I’ll be quick. I’d like to stay with her though, unless you need me at the rest—”
“Stay where you belong,” Eileen said as she joined them. “With Sabrina. We’ll send over food. Girl needs fattening up. No more of that kale slop.”
Flynn chuckled. “No arguments from me. Thanks.”
“Only thanks I need is to see a ring on that girl’s finger,” Eileen said.
Brady rolled his eyes and guided his wife away.
Flynn waited until they were out of sight before he took a steeling breath and walked into Sabrina’s room. Her color had come back, her cheeks were that nice shade of pink, her eyes brighter than he’d seen in days. The IVs and lines running out of her arms unsettled him, but he paid them little attention as he sat on the bed next to her.
She had her face turned from him, her eyes squeezed shut. As he took her hands between his, he saw a tear escape. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Sorry this happened or sorry you never told me it was a possibility?” He had to concentrate to keep his voice calm.
“I didn’t want this to happen. I never wanted you to know. I thought if I left town fast enough—”
“That I’d forget all about you and you could die alone?”
She swiped a hand down her cheek. “That’s not what I planned to do.”
“The hell it isn’t.” He stroked his thumb down the side of her face, turned her chin so she had to look at him. “Leaving town wouldn’t have done you any good, Sabrina. I just would have followed you.”
She blinked at him. “You would not have.”
“Afraid so.” He sighed. “There isn’t much I want out of life. But I do know I want you.”
“Defects and all?” She challenged. “This can happen again at any time, Flynn. I’m a time bomb. I don’t want you, I don’t want anyone living in that kind of fear.”
“Because of how you lost your sister and mother?”
She stared at him, defiance shining in her eyes. “I know what it’s like to be left behind. To have your world ripped away from you in the blink of an eye. I’m not letting that happen to you or your family.”
“And leaving would solve that problem, would it?” He wasn’t sure what infuriated him more: that she’d neglected to tell him her real reason for running or that she still planned to. “You don’t get to invade our lives and then leave, Sabrina. Sorry, but we aren’t going to let you.”
“I’m not having this conversation again, Flynn. There isn’t a future for us except for this.” She yanked on her oxygen line. “There’s nothing predictable about my future. If you want kids, I can’t promise that. I can’t bear the thought of having a child that might inherit this disease and I refuse to put you in the position of never having a family if that’s what you want. And I will not have you spending days in a hospital worrying yourself over me when you could be living your life.”
“You’ve just got everything all planned out, don’t you?” Frustration surged over the anger. “Mapped out my life, have you? Made all the decisions for me? Now who’s trying to fix someone else’s life to suit their own?”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” A flicker of unease flashed in her eyes.
“It’s exactly what you’re doing. And you know what else I just realized?” He planted his hands on either side of her and leaned in. “You’re scared. You’re terrified about actually getting what you want because you’re afraid it’ll be stolen away from you just like you lost your family.” He resisted the urge to kiss her, to reassure her. He could talk himself blue in the face, but when all was said and done, it didn’t matter how much he loved her. “You’re not the only person who could drop dead. I could get hit by a car. My mom could…well, God only knows what could happen to her. None of us are invincible. None of us is immortal.” He took a breath, waited a beat to make certain she was hearing him. “You have a choice to make, Sabrina. You can either surrender to your fear, or you can move beyond it. With me.” He stood up, let go of her hands, and did the most difficult thing he’d ever done in his life.
He walked away.
Chapter Eight
Sabrina opened her eyes to the soundtrack of her youth. Machines beeped, wheelchairs whirled, and muted conversation echoed down the hall, filtering into her room. Mid-morning overcast sunlight streamed in through the slats in the blinds, casting light shadows on the beige blanket.
Most of her IVs had been removed over the past two days. Dr. Waverly was keeping her on a saline drip to be safe. They suspected one of the protein powders she’d been using in her smoothies had caused a drastic drop in her sodium level, which triggered an odd side effect in one of her meds. Her arms ached where bruises had formed from the needles, but the pain in her chest had subsided. She felt, for all intents and purposes, back to normal with smoothies on the top of her never again list.
Of course if Eileen and Brady had anything to say about it, she’d be twenty pounds heavier within a week. They were feeding her non-stop, apparently convinced that the best cure for anything was a full stomach.
Her gaze fell on the empty chair beside her bed; the chair that had, in the last few days been occupied almost constantly. Eileen, Brady, Trevor, and ChiChi had all come to visit, as had Lexi DeLuca who wasn’t about to let one of her best customers suffer hospital food. Flowers had arrived from Pricilla Moreau among others courtesy of Darla Potter from Petal Pusher’s Buds and Vines. Good thing she didn’t have allergy issues given the amount of pollen swirling in her room.
She curled her arm around her china doll Eileen had delivered along with some of Sabrina’s other belongings. Her great-grandfather’s doll, the one that had brought comfort to her grandfather and then to Sabrina, hadn’t lost an iota of spirit and had calmed Sabrina within seconds.
The tote bag next to her bed was filled with her sketch pad, pencils, phone, headphones, and the photograph of Sabrina and her sister on the swing. She might have cried had she not been out of tears. The company had been welcome and touched her deeply. She was part of the community now, whether she stayed or went.
Unease prickled her arms, made her shiver as she looked out the window.
She wasn’t alone any longer. But she missed Flynn. So much she ached. As much as she appreciated her visitors, every time the door creaked open, she hoped it was him. But it wasn’t. It hadn’t been.
It was up to her to now.
She plucked at a loose thread on her blanket. Fear, the great motivator, sat solidly on her shoulders, pushing one way, then the other like tipping a scale. Leaving solved so many of her problems. Staying created more than she could ever have imagined and yet…
She sighed and reached for her bag. Digging around, her hand found an unfamiliar item. She pulled out the leather bound journal Flynn had given her in the meadow. She frowned. Did Eileen even know what this was when she’d put it in her bag?
Sabrina clutched the book against her chest, curled up on her side and shut her eyes. Three days ago she hadn’t had the strength to stay.
This morning she didn’t know if she had the strength to leave.
“Knock knock.” The rap of knuckles on the door had her turning over. The sight of a glammed up ChiChi Ryo standing in her doorway had her wondering if she could jump out the window to freedom. “Sorry I’m so early, but I have a busy day ahead of me.” She practically floated over to the chair and scooted it close to Sabrina before she dropped a long box on top of her lap. “You, young lady, have not finished your work.”
“I-what?” Sabrina hit the button on the bed to sit up. “Trevor told me he delivered the dolls I finished for the auction.”
“Oh, those. He did and they’re beautiful. We’ll raise a small fortune thanks to you. But you told me you weren’t leaving town until all the dolls you were given to repair were finished.” She tapped the box. “You’re not done.”
“Mmmm, okay.” Sabrina had a sneaking suspicion what ChiChi was doing. That didn’t stop her from popping open the flaps. She separated the yellowed tissue paper and exposed the porcelain doll clad in an antique lavender dress and matching straw hat. “She’s beautiful.”
Sabrina lifted her free, held her gently in one hand as the feathers decorating the hat dropped free.
“Her name is Donna Mira,” ChiChi said. “My grandmother bought her for me. I completely forgot I had her, found her packed away when I was cleaning some things out for the rummage sale. I’d like you to fix her, please.”
Sabrina trailed gentle fingers over the hairline cracks in Donna Mira’s neck. There was a lot of work to be done on her. The doll’s body which had been hand stitched, was fraying, as was the lace on the hem of the dress. She needed a gentle cleansing and chances were a new wig, which wasn’t a snap. “It’ll take time,” Sabrina said.
“That’s what I’m counting on,” ChiChi said. “Weeks, months maybe?”
“Years?” Sabrina said with a knowing smile. “I know what you’re doing, ChiChi.”
“Good. I hate having to explain myself. But just in case you were still thinking about cutting and running.” She returned to the door, swung it all the way open and poked her head out. “Come on in.”
She walked to Sabrina’s side as the hospital room filled with familiar faces from St. Helena. Regan and Gabe DeLuca along with Regan’s daughter Holly; Lexi De Luca, Darla Potter…she couldn’t keep track of everyone, adults and children, who flooded in.
And almost every one of them held a doll in their hands.
Sabrina covered her mouth to hide her trembling lips. But there was no stopping the tears that erupted in her eyes.
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