by Ally Blue
He laid his hand over Bo’s where it pressed to his belly. This was Bo’s “apology” posture. He’d seen it countless times, and it was usually followed by them making up from whatever their latest fight had been. But after what had happened the night before, Sam had no clue what to say. Especially in light of Dean’s suspicions regarding Bo’s behavior.
“I was way out of line last night,” Bo said after a few moments of awkward silence. His voice was raspy and tremulous. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Sam swallowed, his throat constricting. “Have I really been that insensitive to you all this time?” He almost laughed at himself for being most interested in the answer to that question when there were other, more important things he should be asking.
Bo only hesitated a few seconds, but it was enough to give Sam his answer. He groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
Bo’s arms tightened around him. “You dismissed my fears for you, that’s true. And you didn’t listen to me about at least trying to get on anticonvulsants to see if they’d keep your mind from connecting to the portals and those things on the other side. But I understand why you don’t want to do that. I really do. It makes sense for you to keep your connection to the portals, even if I don’t like it. Everyone’s safer that way, in the end. I never should’ve said those things to you last night.”
It was true, so Sam didn’t bother to argue. Turning in Bo’s embrace, Sam stared into his eyes. They were swollen and bloodshot. “You didn’t sleep.”
“Not really, no.” The ghost of a smile touched Bo’s lips. “It took me a while to realize exactly how horrible I’d been to you. You were asleep when I came down to apologize, and I didn’t want to wake you. Then the others came back, and I just…just couldn’t face them.”
It was on the tip of Sam’s tongue to ask Bo if he had any pain pills stashed away upstairs. If he’d been taking them on the sly all this time. But he couldn’t do it. Not right now, with Bo standing there red-eyed and clearly exhausted, apologizing to him. This was the Bo he’d fallen in love with, and he didn’t want to do anything to drive him away and bring back the sneering, hurtful person from the night before.
He didn’t even consider asking if Bo really enjoyed the sort of violent sex they’d had last night. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Cupping Bo’s face in his hands, Sam pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’ll forgive you, if you’ll forgive me.”
Bo laughed. “Deal.” He dropped his hands to Sam’s ass and squeezed as Sam kissed him again, deeper this time.
After breakfast, they curled up together on the sofa and turned on the TV. Bo flipped around until he found a show about spectacular vacation homes and settled down to watch. Outside the rain, which had been threatening since the previous day, finally began pattering softly against the side of the house.
It was strange that everything could seem so normal after the events of the previous night. Sam knew this was simply the calm before the storm. Eventually, he would have to either ask Bo point-blank if he was still taking narcotics, or go through his things to find out. Neither option held much appeal. The thought of confronting Bo with Dean’s suspicions knotted Sam’s stomach. However, he didn’t think he could go behind Bo’s back. It would be wrong. Not to mention that Bo would never forgive him if he found out.
He didn’t want to think about it. Not now. Not when everything between them was this peaceful, even if it was only temporary. He let his dread and worry slide to the back of his mind and concentrated on the perfection of lying in Bo’s arms while the rain fell outside.
Predictably, Dean was the first of the others to rise. He came wandering in around midmorning, barefoot and shirtless, wearing a pair of oversize blue flannel boxers, which seemed in danger of falling off at any moment. “Hey,” he greeted them through a yawn. “’S there any food?”
Bo’s chuckle vibrated against Sam’s back. “I didn’t cook, if that’s what you mean. Sam and I just had cereal. There’s coffee, otherwise you’ll have to fend for yourself.”
“No problem.” He yawned again and ran a hand through his mussed hair, making it stick up in several directions at once. He shot a swift, assessing look at Bo on his way to the kitchen. “How’re you feeling this morning, Bo? Okay?”
“Mm-hm.” Bo snuggled closer, nuzzling the back of Sam’s neck. “I didn’t sleep much, but otherwise I feel fine. No fever at all that I can tell.”
“Good.” From the kitchen came the sound of the refrigerator door opening and closing, followed by dishes rattling in a cabinet. “What about those weird spells? Are you still having those?”
Behind Sam, Bo’s body tensed, but his voice when he answered was calm and relaxed. “Um. No. I haven’t had any more of those.”
“And no more passing out? I assume you would’ve told me if that had happened again.”
“No, no more passing out.”
“That’s good to hear.” Dean came back into the living room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a slice of cold pizza in the other, and plopped into the armchair on the other side of the room. “How’s your leg?”
Sam felt his eyes go wide. What’re you doing? he mouthed. Dean just smiled and bit off a huge mouthful of pizza.
“My leg’s fine. Hasn’t bothered me enough to mention since Sunset Lodge.” Bo sounded honestly puzzled, which made Sam feel better. “Why do you ask?”
Dean shrugged. “Just wondering. I thought I saw you rubbing your thigh yesterday.” He grinned over the rim of his mug. “Or was that Sam rubbing your thigh?”
Bo chuckled, and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t easy to get information from Bo without him catching on, and Dean’s question had been a little too bold for comfort.
“Well, anything more than mild physical stress makes it ache,” Bo said, tracing one of Sam’s ribs with his thumb. “So you probably did see me rubbing it. But that intermittent ache has been there ever since the surgery. Sunset Lodge is the only time it’s actually been what I’d call painful in months. It certainly hasn’t been more than mildly uncomfortable here.”
“Good.” Dean squirmed sideways and slung both legs over one arm of the chair. “So. Looks like it might rain all day, what do y’all want to do?”
“Doing it already,” Sam mumbled, pulling Bo’s arm tighter around him.
“Sounds like a good plan to me.” Bo nipped Sam’s shoulder.
Dean snickered around another mouthful of pizza. “You do realize the rest of us can’t cuddle with you, right?”
“Your loss.” Sam grinned, a little of his tension evaporating. “Are y’all going back to Mobile today?”
“Why, you trying to get rid of us? You want the house to yourselves so you can christen every room with your love juice?”
“We did that before y’all got here,” Sam said while Bo groaned and hid his face in the curve of Sam’s neck. “Now we just want the rest of you to go away so we can go back to walking around naked.”
“Feel free.” Dean waggled his eyebrows.
“Okay, stop it, both of you,” Bo’s muffled voice ordered. He raised his head, and Sam didn’t even have to look to know his face was beet red. “Andre said something yesterday about making last night the final night of the investigation, unless you found a compelling reason to go back.”
Nodding, Dean popped the last bite of pizza into his mouth and chewed. “Yeah, we’re not going back tonight. No good reason to. Good thing, since we don’t have anyone to let us in. Plus, it’s probably going to be raining.” Dean scrunched his nose up in clear distaste. “I hate investigating outdoors in the rain.”
“Not all of the fort is outdoors,” Bo pointed out.
“No, but even the parts that aren’t might as well be, for all the protection you get from the weather. Which is to say, not much.” Dean wiped his fingers on his boxers, stretched and got to his feet. He swiped his mug off the floor and started toward the kitchen. “In any case, Andre’s already declared th
e field portion of this case to be officially over. They’re heading back to Mobile this afternoon.”
“They?” Sam craned his neck to give Dean a questioning look across the counter dividing the kitchen from the dining area. “Aren’t you going?”
“Nope. I’m staying next door with Kyle for a couple of days.” Dean emerged from the kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee and plopped into the chair again. “He invited me to stay. BCPI isn’t taking on any other new cases at the moment, since we’ve been so covered up lately and we still have lots of paperwork to catch up on. I’m still owed some vacation time, so Andre said I could take a few days off.”
Bo shifted his position a bit, resting his chin on Sam’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re taking some time off. You’ve been putting in a lot of overtime in the past few months.”
“Is it overtime if you don’t get paid for it?” Dean wondered, scratching his chin. “Hm. Food for thought.”
Sam laughed along with Bo. Even though he’d initially resented his friends’ intrusion into his and Bo’s vacation, the thought of being alone with Bo at this point scared him a little. He was relieved to know Dean would be right next door. Something told him he might need Dean’s help before the end.
***
By three o’clock, Andre, David and Cecile had the SUV loaded up and were ready to leave. The rain had settled into a steady downpour. Water puddled on the driveway and drowned the thin grass of the front lawn in a shallow lake.
While Bo and Andre talked in the foyer, Sam and Dean stood on the front porch with David and Cecile. Cecile shivered, clutching David’s jacket around her. “It would have to be raining today,” she complained, tossing her dripping hair out of her eyes. “I can’t believe we didn’t even think to bring an umbrella.”
David gathered her into his arms and kissed her head. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll keep you warm.”
Cecile laid her head on his shoulder, a smile curving her lips. “Mmm. Thank you.”
“Oh my God, that’s sweet.” Dean sighed. “I want a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Or both.”
Sam laughed. “So what’s Kyle, then?”
“A summer fling, of course.” Dean glanced next door, grinned and waved. “Speaking of which, here he comes.”
Sam followed Dean’s gaze. Sure enough, Kyle was crossing the open space between the two houses, a huge green and white striped umbrella curving over his head. He bounded up the porch steps just as the front door opened and Bo and Andre emerged.
“Hey, y’all.” Kyle gave the group a sweet, shy smile before turning an adoring gaze to Dean. “You ready?”
“Yeah, all set.” Dean bent to pick up his duffle bag. He leaned close to Sam and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Call me if you need me, okay?”
Sam nodded his thanks. Dean gave his arm a quick squeeze, then straightened up and went to Kyle’s side. He hooked his free hand through Kyle’s elbow. “Y’all have a safe trip back home. Be careful.”
“David’s not driving, so we should be safe enough.” Andre ducked away from the smack David aimed at his head. “Sam, Bo, enjoy the rest of your vacation. Do not call us, we’ll be fine.” He arched an eyebrow at Dean. “That goes for you too. You’re nearly as bad as Bo.”
Dean clutched his chest. “Oh, ouch.”
Shaking his head, Bo moved closer to Sam’s side. “We’ll see you in a few days. And I promise I won’t call.”
“Neither will I.” Dean tugged on Kyle’s arm. “Let’s go. You promised me sex, alcohol and Playstation. In that order.”
Kyle turned red. “Um. Yeah.” He darted a brief, embarrassed look at the group. “Nice to meet y’all. Bye.”
Kyle and Dean descended the steps into the rain, followed by goodbyes and David’s gleeful admonishment not to break the furniture while fucking on it. Dean leered back at them while Kyle hunched his shoulders and walked faster.
Cecile pinched David’s arm, making him yelp. “Why do you have to embarrass the poor boy like that?”
“Hey, Dean started it,” David protested, rubbing his arm.
“Well, you didn’t have to make it worse.” Pulling away from David, Cecile hugged first Bo, then Sam. “Have fun, guys. And don’t worry about the business, we’ll be okay. We’re planning to spend this next week catching up on paperwork and reviewing evidence from Fort Medina.”
“Sounds good.” Bo slipped an arm around Sam’s waist as David, Cecile and Andre hurried through the rain to the SUV. “Let us know if you find anything exciting, okay?”
Andre waved a noncommittal hand at them as he slid behind the wheel. The engine revved, the headlights came on and the SUV rolled down the driveway. Sam watched with a mix of relief and dread as it pulled onto the road and picked up speed. The taillights disappeared around a bend in the narrow street, and he was officially alone with Bo.
“Alone at last,” Bo murmured, echoing Sam’s thoughts. He pressed a kiss to Sam’s neck. “Why don’t I fix us a couple of Irish coffees, and we can go out on the back porch and watch the rain?”
“That sounds perfect.” Turning, Sam cupped Bo’s cheek in one palm and kissed his lips. Bo’s mouth was warm and soft, his cheek rough with the stubble he hadn’t yet shaved off that day. “I’m glad they’re gone. They’re my friends, and I love them, but I’m glad to have you to myself again.” It was true, in spite of his fear of what might happen when he confronted Bo. “Is that selfish?”
Bo smiled, dark eyes shining. “If it is, then we’re both selfish. Because I’m looking forward to being alone with you again.”
Warmth swelled in Sam’s chest. He brushed his lips across Bo’s brow. “If the rain lets up, we can walk on the beach later.”
“I’d like that.” Bo squeezed Sam’s butt, then stepped out of his embrace. “Come on. Irish coffee. Back porch.”
Laughing, Sam linked his hand with Bo’s and followed him inside.
***
They spent the majority of the remaining daylight hours on the back porch, contemplating the roiling gray Gulf and talking. By unspoken agreement, they didn’t discuss Fort Medina, or interdimensional gateways, or any of the other topics that tended to cause friction between them. Instead, they talked about little things. Safe things. The weather, movies they wanted to see, the marathon they were still trying to decide if they should run together next spring. It was wonderfully peaceful, and Sam hated to disturb that rare atmosphere between them.
The rain eased over the afternoon hours. When the sinking sun filtered through the thinning clouds to tint water, sand and sky fiery red, Sam and Bo decided to brave the remaining misty drizzle and watch the sunset from the beach. They stood arm in arm on the damp sand at the water’s edge while blue twilight crept over the world and the waves washed blood-warm over their feet.
As the last sliver of golden light slid below the horizon, Bo turned to Sam with a solemn expression. “Something’s been bothering you all day. And I think it has something to do with me.” He slipped both arms around Sam’s waist. “Tell me what’s wrong, Sam. Please. Whatever it is, I promise to listen and not lose my temper.”
Sam wasn’t at all sure Bo could keep that promise, but what choice did he have? All day long, he’d been looking for the right moment to ask Bo the hardest question he’d ever had to ask. And now, Bo had just given him the perfect opening. He had to take it.
“I have to ask you something,” Sam began, choosing his words with care. He wound an arm around Bo’s waist and rested his other hand on Bo’s shoulder. “It’s not… You’re not going to like it.”
Apprehension filled Bo’s face, but he nodded. “Okay. Go on.”
Sam cleared his throat. “The thing is, you’ve been acting…well, not quite like yourself lately. And I’ve been worried.”
The corners of Bo’s mouth lifted. “So you’ve said.”
“Yeah, well.” Sam tongued the healing cut on his bottom lip. He’d never been so nervous in his life. “Okay, there’s no easy way to ask you this, so I’m just goi
ng to ask. Are you on drugs?”
Bo’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you serious?”
Sam didn’t say anything, but evidently the look on his face was answer enough.
Bo’s mouth dropped open. He closed it again and shook his head. “I almost asked where in the world you’d gotten that idea, but I think I can see it. I have been acting irrationally lately. Especially last night.”
Sam didn’t bother to deny it. “So, you’re not still taking those pain pills they gave you after your surgery?”
Smiling, Bo pulled Sam close and kissed his chin. “No, I’m not.”
Sam stared into Bo’s eyes, searching for any sign of deception. He found none. Bo met his gaze without flinching.
Relieved, Sam rested his forehead against Bo’s. “I didn’t really believe it, but I couldn’t just let it go without knowing for sure. Dean—” He stopped, wincing.
Damn. The last thing he’d wanted was to bring up Dean’s part in this. Bo hadn’t been angry yet, but knowing Sam had talked to Dean about him just might do it.
Sam’s fear melted away when Bo hooked one arm around his neck and pressed his cheek to Sam’s. “So Dean’s the one who told you I might be hooked on narcotics?” Bo laughed, the sound soft against Sam’s ear. “I wondered if that might be the case. The man has a suspicious mind.”
“And a medical background.” Sam drew back enough to look into Bo’s eyes. “You’re not mad at me?”
“For thinking I was on drugs, or for talking to Dean about me?”
“Both.”
“No. I know you and Dean are close friends. I know you confide in him. Of course you’d talk to him about this. And I know I gave him plenty of reasons to suspect what he did.” A lock of hair came loose from Bo’s braid, the wind whipping it around his face. He tucked it behind his ear. “I’m not angry. What I am is ashamed, and embarrassed. I’ve been absolutely awful the past few days. The way I treated you last night was unforgivable. It…It shook me to realize exactly how terrible I had been. The fact that you were willing to look for a reason instead of simply leaving me for good makes me love you even more.”