by Grace Lin
Rendi looked off into the far distance, past where the light of his lantern shone. The giant toad made no sound.
“When I said that to my mother and sister,” Rendi continued, “they told me it didn’t matter. They said because I was born, our father stopped hating my sister for not being a boy and resenting my mother for not having a son. My sister even said that when I was born it made everything right and happy, so I deserved the celebration because everyone loved me so…”
Rendi’s voice broke off. He stopped speaking and shook his head, trying to forget his own words. But then he looked up at the toad, and their eyes met.
And suddenly, in that moment, Rendi’s secret wish was revealed, a wish he didn’t even know he had. Because when Rendi looked into the toad’s eyes, he knew why the toad cried. The toad wished to go home. And Rendi could hear those cries because he did too.
All this time he had tried to forget his past, hating when he remembered. He had told himself he never wanted to go back, but one look into the eyes of this toad, and he knew that was not the truth. He missed his sister and he missed his mother and he even missed his father. He missed his home.
His eyes mirrored the toad’s, and all filled with tears. They were both missing their homes, just as WangYi was missing his wife and like the sky was missing the moon.
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For a long moment, the toad and the boy stared at each other with silent understanding. Then the toad gave a painful groan and clutched at its bulging belly once again. The strange green glow grew brighter. Rendi looked at it with pity, all fear and disgust gone.
“Try the wine,” Rendi urged, holding the jug with both hands. “It can’t hurt.”
The toad hesitated but finally took the wine, its large hands almost covering the jar entirely. With a swift motion, the toad raised and turned the jug upside down above its head. The jug emptied quickly, the wine pouring like a waterfall into the waiting black half circle of the toad’s open mouth. The toad’s eyes closed, looking like two enormous loganberries slit with black lines, as it swallowed with a satisfied gulp.
The toad dropped the jug to the ground with a soft thud.
“Do you feel better?” Rendi asked.
The toad’s eyes reopened and looked at Rendi as if dazed. The light from the toad’s belly dimmed slightly as it gurgled a churning noise, much like the bubbling of soup.
“Are… are you all right?” Rendi asked, alarmed.
The wine seemed to be having an unusual effect on the toad. It was swaying slightly from side to side, its arms no longer clutching its stomach but hanging limply. Its eyes bulged as if they were going to explode.
Then, as Rendi stared in horror, the toad’s mouth expanded like the opening of a tunnel. The toad drew in a deep breath, and Rendi could feel the air around him being sucked away as…
“BURPPPPPP!!!!!!”
The toad gave a belch that echoed across the hills, blowing Rendi’s hair and making a cresting wave in the water. Rendi staggered as the air, smelling of wine and wetness, pushed him backward. But, turning his head, he saw that it was not just air that the toad expelled. Its enormous mouth widened, and something round and shining fell to the earth.
The glimmering ball rolled past Rendi’s feet, and he could not look away from it. Was it a dragon’s pearl? It was so white and perfectly round, revolving on the ground like a bamboo yo-yo on a string.
But with every turn, it grew larger and larger, bigger than any dragon’s pearl Rendi had ever heard of. It also grew brighter as the soft grass rubbed off any slime from the toad, and it began to gleam as if it were lit from within. When the ball finally stopped rolling, it was taller than Master Chao and the most beautiful thing Rendi had ever seen. Smoother than the finest jade, more luminous than the finest pearl, it was radiant. It shone with a pure light that illuminated everything with a silver shimmering frost. Rendi could scarcely breathe.
“The moon!” he whispered. It could not be anything else. The toad has burped up the moon, Rendi thought in a daze. He turned to look at the toad.
It was gone.
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Where the toad had been, a person was stretched on the ground. But it was not a woman, not the Moon Lady, but a man. He was a young man and completely naked, the tall grass bending over him like a sheltering caress.
“Hello?” Rendi said, just as he had when he entered the cave.
The man turned his head and looked at Rendi. As if weighed down by air, he slowly sat up and rubbed his face with his hands. Then he stared at his hands as if mesmerized. The light of the moon made his face clearly visible, and it was strangely familiar. Where had Rendi seen those eyes before? That mouth? That forehead?
“Jiming?” Rendi asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
The man’s eyes jerked back to Rendi, and his face flashed a grin. There was no doubt now. That was Peiyi’s smile! This man had to be her brother. He had to be Jiming.
The man began to laugh, a sound of pure joy and gratitude. He threw up both of his arms and sprang into the air with such a great jump that Rendi suspected not everything about being a toad had left him.
“I am Jiming!” the man whooped. He began to run and leap, like a horse feeling freedom for the first time. The moon bathed his naked figure in light as his fingers reached to touch the stars, his hair streaming. “I am not a toad!” he hollered, triumphant. “I am Jiming!”
Rendi couldn’t help laughing. He fell to the ground, spasms of laughter clenching his stomach. As he fell, he felt his bag underneath him. He had clothes! Rendi remembered. And he had food.
“Jiming! Jiming!” Rendi called as the man’s dance in the night slowed. “Do you want some pants?”
The pants did not fit well, barely falling below Jiming’s knees. But Jiming cheerfully squeezed into them, removing the drawstring completely. He sat down in the grass across from Rendi, accepting the cold rice balls he offered. The moon enveloped them in its soft, tranquil light.
“So who are you?” Jiming asked. “Other than a boy who brings wine to toads at night.”
“I’m Rendi. I’m the chore boy at your father’s inn,” Rendi said. Jiming stiffened, and Rendi hurried on. “But what happened to you? Where have you been? How did you become a toad?”
Jiming stared out at the lake in front of him. “It seems a dream now,” he said.
THE STORY OF JIMING’S TRANSFORMATION
My father and I had an argument. It was a very bad one, the worst we had ever had. We said terrible things to each other, and when I slammed the door behind me, I vowed never to return.
I was so angry that I did not realize for some time that I had been stomping across the Stone Pancake, going farther than I had ever gone before. When I did realize it, I did not care. I wanted to get lost. I wanted to never be able to find my way back to the inn or my father ever again.
When I passed the stone plain, I barely saw the bridge over the lake, and I definitely did not see the figure crossing it while reading a book. I stormed onto the bridge, violently colliding with the person. He and his bag were knocked to the ground and his book flew into the water, causing a splash so great that I felt the water splatter on my face. It was old Mr. Shan, and he jumped up and looked over the edge of the bridge with a noise of despair. He swung back toward me, his black eyes flashing.
“Jiming!” Mr. Shan said. “If you aren’t careful, your anger will burn you up inside!”
I grunted an apology and continued my outraged march. But his words began to repeat over and over again with my stamping feet. Your anger will burn. Your anger will burn. And, then, my anger was burning. Inside, I felt as if there were a fire inside me, flaming and smoldering.
The bridge ended, and I went to the edge of the lake. The water was so still and black that it melted into the sky, and there were twin moons in the darkness. One moon was like a white jade plate floating in front of me. However, the burning was becoming unbearable
. I did not gaze long. Instead, I kneeled down and began to drink.
I drank and drank, trying to extinguish the fire I felt inside. I watched the reflection of the moon siphon away as I gulped and swallowed. Then, all of a sudden, without any warning, I felt as if I was going to burst. I fell back, bloated and swollen, and threw off my clothes, which were choking me. As I struggled with my pants, I was horrified to see that my feet had puffed out and were webbed. The skin on my arms and legs had become thick and rough and spotted. But the worst was my stomach. It was grotesquely bulging, glowing, and it ached—a pressing pain that left me gasping.
I crawled back to the lake’s edge and recoiled at what I saw. My ballooned stomach cast the light for me to see that I had become a monstrous toad. I shrank back, afraid of my own image. The pain in my stomach as well as my huge size forced me to move slowly, but I pulled myself away—trying to get as far from my reflection as possible.
Finally, I found myself in a tunnel-like cave in a hill, and there I stayed. In my new toad shape, the daylight sun and heat were agonizing, and my new home was cool and dark. Not that I was ever comfortable. During the day, the pain in my stomach was a tender, dull ache. But as night fell, it would begin to throb and grow, and I could only moan and cry in helpless, agonizing pain. And that was how I lived until you came.
“You must have swallowed the moon when you drank from the lake! I wonder why it turned you into a toad,” Rendi said. He thought about Madame Chang’s story. Was the moon a pill of immortality too? “Anyway, that’s why I always heard those groans at night!”
“It was me,” Jiming said with a wry expression on his face. “I was miserable! Every night I wished I had never left home.”
“Well, now you can go back!” Rendi said, grinning.
Jiming hesitated, his eyes cast downward.
“I don’t know,” Jiming said in a low voice.
“What do you mean?” Rendi asked, astounded. “Everyone wants you to come back! Your father and Widow Yan aren’t fighting anymore, did you know? You can marry MeiLan now.”
Jiming’s face flushed at the mention of MeiLan’s name.
“Maybe MeiLan could meet me here,” Jiming said. “You could give her a message, and we could go away somewhere…”
“Go away somewhere? But you want to go home!” Rendi said, remembering the truth in the toad’s eyes. He almost stood up in dismay. “What about Peiyi? What about your father? What about you?”
“It’s not that simple,” Jiming said. “I can’t… I can’t just forgive everything and go back home!”
“But that’s what you want!” Rendi said in disbelief. “If you don’t forgive your father, you’re the one who suffers!”
Then Rendi fell silent, an uncomfortable realization coming over him. He was glad when Jiming responded.
“Maybe you’re right,” Jiming said, and he looked over at the moon. It was a shining, perfect pearl in the silk darkness of the night. “And I suppose the Village of Clear Sky wants its moon back too.”
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“It’s like trying to lift a mountain,” Jiming said, gasping.
Both Rendi and Jiming had been straining every muscle to lift the moon, but it stayed rooted firmly to the ground. The moon was incredibly heavy.
Jiming glanced at the flat stone plain in the distance with a crooked smile. “It can’t be impossible to move, though.”
Rendi shrugged. Jiming was now fully dressed in his own clothes. They had found them after a quick search by the lake, and after shaking out a few frogs and crickets, saw that they were none the worse for wear. Straining and pushing the moon, Jiming reminded Rendi of Master Chao on the day he had arrived at the Village of Clear Sky when they moved that gang of wine…
“Jiming! I know how we can move the moon!” Rendi said. “We have to roll it!”
And Rendi was right. The moon could not be lifted, but it could be rolled.
It was not easily rolled, however. The smooth surface was slippery, and the weight made it difficult to push. For all its round symmetry, rolling the moon was a slow procedure. Inch by inch, Rendi and Jiming rolled the moon to the bridge.
When they were halfway across the bridge, they heard faint calls from the stone plain.
“Rendi!” the voices were calling. “Rendi!”
That’s Peiyi’s voice, Rendi thought. And Madame Chang’s and Widow Yan’s. They must have been worried and gone looking for him, Rendi realized. He looked at the figures standing by the tall tree, their lanterns drooping as they gazed toward him. The moon cast a pure light, and Rendi, perhaps for the first time, saw them clearly. There was Master Chao, full of pride yet good-hearted, and Peiyi, fearless yet vulnerable. There were Widow Yan and MeiLan, weighed down by worries but unbroken, and Madame Chang and Mr. Shan, staring with soft expressions of homecoming. Their kindness and caring seemed to reach for him, and the moon began to roll as if pulled by a silver ribbon.
Crrriiiick! Suddenly, there was sickening crack, and the waiting faces changed to expressions of horror.
“The bridge!” Jiming gasped. “It’s not strong enough for the moon! The bridge is breaking!”
Criickkk! Criiick! Rendi and Jiming, their hands on the moon, stood frozen. Criiiiiick! The bridge gave a slow, stomach-turning groan, and Peiyi screamed.
“Mr. Shan!” Madame Chang said. It was not a statement or a question. It was an order. The walking stick clattered to the ground, and with long strides, moving faster than Rendi ever could have imagined, Mr. Shan flew toward them. From his pocket, the three-legged toad gave a miraculous jump and was quickly scooped up by Madame Chang. And then Mr. Shan leaped into the lake.
The groaning of the bridge stopped.
“Go ahead, Rendi,” Mr. Shan’s voice said from below him. Was Mr. Shan under the bridge?
“What?” Rendi said.
“He’s holding up the bridge!” Peiyi shouted from the lake’s edge. She raised both of her arms in the air, imitating Mr. Shan’s posture. Beside her, Master Chao beckoned madly. “Hurry up!”
Rendi and Jiming pushed with renewed effort. The moon rolled faster, as if it were being drawn to the waiting figures. Rendi could hear Peiyi’s excited babble before the moon even reached the end of the bridge.
“We thought those men might have come back to kidnap you,” she was saying. “I saw the snail shells, and I thought maybe you left them as a trail for us! And so we followed it. Who’s that with you? How did you find the moon? Why did you…”
The moon rolled onto the grass, and Jiming took a step out from behind it.
“Jiming!!!” Peiyi shrieked. Figures flew like swooping birds as all, even MeiLan, who forgot about maidenly modesty in her joy, rushed to hug and squeeze and cry over Jiming. Rendi grinned but stood back. Perhaps that is why he was the only one who heard the loud splash in the water.
When Rendi turned to look, he saw Mr. Shan bursting through the lake surface, drops of silver water flung into the air like thrown stars. Mr. Shan raised his hands overhead in a triumphant gesture, and Rendi saw he was holding a large book dripping with water.
“I found it!” Mr. Shan said.
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“I don’t understand about the moon,” Peiyi said, gently stroking its smooth surface with a single finger. “It’s very beautiful and it is big. But it isn’t big enough for WangYi’s wife to live on. Isn’t she supposed to have a palace on it?”
“That’s because the moon has fallen from the sky,” Madame Chang said. She was hovering around it like a white-winged moth. “The moon is like a closed flower now. When it enters the Starry River, it expands and a palace of water jade and pearl grows.”
“Well, how do we get the moon back into the sky?” Jiming said. “I think that’s the problem.”
“Maybe if we roll it into the lake…” Rendi started.
“No,” Mr. Shan said. He was dripping wet, but he did not seem to notice. He held his book in his arms as if it were a new
born child and said, “The sky cannot reflect the lake. The moon must be returned to the sky.”
“It’s very late,” Master Chao cut in. “I think we will not be able to return the moon tonight.”
“Yes,” Widow Yan said. “We should go back to the village.”
“Should we take the moon there?” Peiyi asked.
They all looked at it. Round and glowing, it was full of a quiet tranquillity that Rendi did not wish to disturb. The others must have felt the same way, for they all nodded when MeiLan said, “I think we should leave the moon here.”
“But not by itself,” Peiyi said. “Who knows what will happen to it next?”
“Someone should stay with it,” Widow Yan agreed.
“I will stay with it,” Mr. Shan said. He looked at Madame Chang, whose eyes had not left the moon since it had appeared. “It will not disappear again.”
Rendi looked curiously at Mr. Shan. His long white beard still trickled a delicate stream of water, and the spaces between his wrinkles were few and small. But his eyes had lost their dull, absent look and now sparkled like cut crystals.
“You’ll stay all night?” Rendi said.
Mr. Shan nodded. The toad, back in his familiar pocket, croaked in agreement. Mr. Shan sat down cross-legged against the moon and opened his precious book on his lap. With a look of great contentment, he began to read.
Peiyi giggled. “You look just like the sage in Madame Chang’s story!” she laughed.
“What sage?” Jiming asked.
“It was a story Madame Chang told us,” Rendi said. “It was about a sage who had a book with all this knowledge in it, like the secret to peace and things like that.”
“Well, then, Mr. Shan,” Jiming joked, “do you know the secret to peace?”
Mr. Shan looked up. His dark eyes, once confused, were now bright and wise.