Forcing his thoughts aside, Lonnie stood and moved the stool he’d been sitting on closer to the stove. If it weren’t for the warmth from the fire, his hands would have numbed quickly in the biting cold.
Someone touched Lonnie’s shoulder, and he jerked around. He was relieved to see Wayne standing there and not Pop wanting him to do some chore that involved smelly pigs.
Wayne smiled and withdrew a notebook and pen from his jacket pocket. He wrote something on it and handed it to Lonnie. Lonnie was glad Wayne had written his thoughts, as he still wasn’t able to read lips very well.
I have a few things I need to pick up in Shipshe and wondered if you’d like to go along. Thought maybe we could stop someplace for coffee and doughnuts.
“That sounds nice, but I’m in the middle of something right now.”Lonnie motioned to the legs he’d been sanding.
Did you make that? Wayne wrote.
Lonnie nodded. “It’s a surprise for Mom. I’m planning to give it to her for Christmas.”
Wayne’s lips puckered like he had whistled. Lonnie missed not being able to hear the melody of a whistle.
Wayne picked up the tablet again and wrote something else: I’m impressed. I had no idea you had a talent for woodworking.
“I’ve fooled around with it off and on ever since I was a boy but never figured anything I made was very good.”
Well, this sure is. Wayne ran his fingers over one of the table legs. You’ve done a fine job with it.
Lonnie’s face heated. He wasn’t used to receiving such compliments, especially not for his woodworking skills.
Would you be interested in coming to work for me? Wayne wrote.
“In your taxidermy shop?”
No, in my new woodworking shop. I’m only helping my daedpart-time with taxidermy right now because there’s not really enough work for both of us. But I’ve been able to sell several things that I’ve made in my woodshop to some of the furniture stores in the area. I think that might turn into a profitable business for me.
Lonnie wasn’t convinced that the table he’d made was really that good, but feeling a sense of nervous excitement, he said that he’d be willing to try working for Wayne.
Wayne smiled and wrote, Let’s head for Shipshe, and we can talk about this some more.
***
The landscape was barely visible under the blanket of white that had fallen the night before, and Jake was on his way home after shoeing an unruly horse. To make matters worse, he’d had to fight slippery roads and blustery snow, both coming and going.
Good thing my truck has four-wheel drive, Jake thought as he peered through the front windshield. He wondered how things would be if he sold his truck and joined the church. He’d have to drive his horse and buggy everywhere except for when he went places that would require him to hire an English driver. Guess it would take some getting used to for me to let someone else haul me around, but if I were to get my own business going here, I wouldn’t have to shoe horses anymore.
Jake thought about some of the fellows he’d grown up with and how many of them were married and raising families. He wondered if it had been hard for any of them who’d owned vehicles to give them up when they joined the church. He knew it hadn’t been an issue for Wayne, because he’d never owned a car. Even if he had, Wayne loved Loraine so much that he’d probably have given up most anything in order to marry her.
Jake wondered if he’d ever feel that much love for a woman. Even when he’d thought he was in love with Loraine, he’d run off to Montana and done his own thing. Soon after he’d moved to Montana, he’d become interested in his boss’s daughter, Roxanne, but that hadn’t lasted long and had never been really serious. Maybe he was incapable of the kind of love Wayne had for Loraine. Maybe he really was selfish and self-centered, like Dad had accused him of being on several occasions. Guess I need to pray more and ask God to take away any selfish desires that aren’t pleasing to Him.
Jake’s musings halted when he turned up his folks’ driveway. He parked his truck behind the barn so Dad didn’t have to see it every time he looked out the window.
As Jake started walking toward the house, a bird flew from a nearby tree, sending a shower of snowflakes onto his head. He brushed it off and hurried on.
As soon as Jake stepped onto the back porch, he heard his folks’ voices coming from the kitchen window, which was open a crack.
“Er hot scheins sei verschtand verlore,” Dad said.
Who seems to have lost his reason? Jake wondered. He stood there a few minutes, listening; then, when he realized it was him they were talking about, he decided to wait a few minutes before going in so he could hear more of what they were saying.
“I blame you for nagging Jake to join the church and for trying to make him do things your way. Truth is, I think it’s your fault Jake left home in the first place.”
“Stop badgering me. We’ve been through all this before.”
“But if you hadn’t pressured Jake so much and worked him so hard when he was a buwe, I’m sure he’d have stayed in Indiana and would have joined the church by now.”
There was a long pause, and then Mom started up again. “I’m just heartsick that Jake will be going back to Montana soon. I’ve gotten used to him being here, and I’ll miss him so much.”
Jake leaned against the wall and drew in a couple of deep breaths. First he’d had to deal with slippery driving conditions; then a contrary horse that didn’t want to be shoed; and now this? The day couldn’t get much worse!
“You baby Jake too much; That’s what I’ve gotta say.”
“I do not baby him. I just—”
Jake opened the door and stepped into the kitchen. Mom and Dad looked up. Dead silence fell on the room.
Jake turned to Mom and said, “Where’d you get the idea that I’d be leaving for Montana soon?”
Mom blinked a couple of times. “I ... uh ... ran into Eunice at the grocery store the other day. She said you told her that you’d be leaving soon.”
Jake shook his head. “I never said any such thing. All I told Eunice when I met up with her at Jolene’s the other day was that I needed to make up my mind soon about whether to return to Montana or not.”
“Have you made up your mind?” Dad asked, leveling Jake with a piercing look.
Jake dug his nails into the palms of his hands. He hated being put on the spot.
“Have you made up your mind or not?”
“You don’t have to shout,” Mom said. “Is it any wonder Jake doesn’t want to live near his family?”
Dad grunted. “That’s not the reason, and you know it. Our son thinks he’s too good for us. He’s never been happy doing what he does best. Wants to own a bunch of wild horses like he’s been tryin’ to train out west.”
Irritation welled in Jake’s soul. It took all his willpower not to dash out the door and take off down the road in his truck. “I wasn’t trying to train horses, Dad. That was my job. I’m not bragging, but I think I did it rather well.” He glanced out the window at the barn. “Besides, the kind of horses I want to train aren’t wild—they need to learn how to pull a buggy. And I don’t just want to train horses,” he added. “I’m also hoping to raise a certain breed of horses that I can sell for profit. That’s what I’ve been working and saving my money for.”
Dad folded his arms. “Makin’ lots of money. That’s all you’re interested in, isn’t it, Jake?”
“No, it’s not! I want to raise and train horses because That’s what I enjoy doing. And while I might be good at shoeing horses, I’ve never enjoyed it all that much.”
“Maybe you could train horses to pull our buggies here,” Mom said. “That would bring in even more money than you’re making now filling in for your daed in his business.”
“I’ll give it some thought,” Jake said.
“What is there to think about?” Dad hollered. “Do you have to think about it ’cause you don’t know if you’re staying here or not?”
“I wish you would lower your voice, Joe.” Mom’s chin trembled. “This isn’t the way God intended for family members to speak to each other.”
Dad frowned. “Jah, well, if he’d listen to what I have to say and quit walkin’ through life with one foot in the world, there’d be no dispute here or any raised voices.”
Jake tapped his foot as his patience waned further. He’d been on the verge of telling his folks that he’d decided not to return to Montana, but now he was having second thoughts. With the snowy weather making it hard to travel, he figured the best thing to do was to wait until spring to make his decision. In the meantime, he needed to put as much space between himself and Dad as possible, so he whirled around and started for the door.
“Where are you going?” Mom called. “It’s almost time for lunch.”
“I’m not hungry. I’m going outside to the barn so I can have some time alone to think.” Jake jerked open the door and let it close behind him a little harder than usual. If things didn’t improve around here by spring, he would definitely return to Montana.
CHAPTER 33
Jolene had just entered the bath and body store in Shipshewana to do some Christmas shopping, when she spotted Katie at the cash register. She waited until Katie finished paying for her purchases, and then she stepped up to her and said, “I’m surprised to see you in town this afternoon. I figured you’d be at the stamp shop waiting on desperate customers buying last-minute Christmas presents.”
“I was there earlier, but I had a dental appointment this afternoon and decided to come here afterward to do some Christmas shopping of my own.” Katie grinned. “I want to get something nice for Freeman.”
Jolene smiled. “It won’t be long before spring is upon us. Are you getting excited about your wedding in April?”
“Oh, jah, I can hardly wait.”
A pang of jealousy stabbed Jolene’s heart. She didn’t even have a boyfriend, and even if she had one, there were no guarantees that she’d ever get a marriage proposal.
A vision of Lonnie popped into Jolene’s head. She’d never admit it, but she was beginning to have strong feelings for him. Of course, it didn’t matter how she felt, because he’d told her that he would never look for love again.
To complicate matters, Jolene suspected that Lonnie might be interested in Ella, for he talked about her a lot. But given his reservations about marriage, it was unlikely that he’d ever act upon those feelings.
“Are you all right?” Katie asked, nudging Jolene’s arm. “Your eyes are misting up like you’re on the verge of tears.”
Jolene gave Katie a hug. “I’m just happy for you and Freeman.”
Tears welled in Katie’s eyes. “I never thought I could be this happy. After all the depression and anxiety I went through after Timothy died, I never thought I’d live a normal life again.” Her eyes brightened, and a smile stretched across her face. “God is so good. Every day, I praise and thank Him for helping me to overcome my panic attacks.”
“We all have much to be thankful for,” Jolene agreed.
***
You look like you’re enjoying your work, Wayne wrote on the tablet he then handed to Lonnie.
“Next to tuning wind chimes, I’ve never had a job I enjoy so much.” Lonnie signed as he spoke, since Wayne had sat in on a few lessons while Ella was teaching her family and Jake. Lonnie figured it might help his new boss learn quicker if he signed whenever he spoke.
I’m glad to hear you like the work. Don’t forget what I told you earlier. I want you to feel free to use my tools to work on your own projects during your lunch hour and breaks, Wayne wrote.
“I’ll remember that.” Lonnie had plans to not only make his mother and sisters something for Christmas, but Jolene as well. He wanted it to be a thank-you gift for her teaching him to sign and read lips. Although he still wasn’t comfortable with lip reading, he hoped he’d eventually get better at it and could use that skill in public rather than relying on the tablet and pen he kept in his pocket.
Lonnie worked quietly for the next few hours. When it was time for lunch, he ate quickly and started working on a bird feeder for Jolene. As he cut the pieces of wood, he thought about how kind and patient she’d been with him. Even when he’d been irritable and negative, she’d remained optimistic and helpful, always encouraging him to keep trying and not to give up. There was something about Jolene’s gentle, sweet spirit that drew him to her. There’d been times when he’d been tempted to ask her out, but fear of her rejection had always held him back. Besides, what did he have to offer a woman? He couldn’t make any kind of commitment. The thought of becoming a husband and maybe a father scared him to death.
Lonnie wanted to believe that God would provide for his needs and help him through any situation, but being deaf limited him in so many ways. Sometimes the fear he felt was almost paralyzing. Other times, especially when he was with Jolene, he felt as if he could accomplish most anything. But did he trust his feelings enough that he could open his heart to her?
Pulling his thoughts aside, Lonnie picked up the hammer and a nail. He needed to get busy on the bird feeder or he’d never get it done.
“Yeow!” The hammer missed the nail and hit his thumb instead.
He grimaced and stuck his thumb between his teeth. Guess that’s what I get for thinking more about Jolene than what I’m doing.
When the throbbing subsided, Lonnie went back to work. A short time later, Freeman showed up with his dog.
Penny leaped into Lonnie’s lap, and he dropped his hammer. “Ouch!” It landed on his toe.
Freeman picked the dog up and said something, but Lonnie couldn’t make out the words. Oh, how he wished he could hear.
Wayne came to his rescue, handing Freeman a tablet and pen.
Sorry my excitable mutt jumped on you, Freeman wrote. She got nervous on the way over because she’s scared of the wind. Sometimes she gets so scared that her whole body vibrates.
“It’s okay. No harm was done.” Lonnie went back to work on the bird feeder, and Freeman moved over to Wayne’s desk. A few minutes later, the dog jumped into Lonnie’s lap again. This time she knocked the birdhouse to the floor, and a piece of the roof chipped off.
Lonnie groaned. At this rate, he’d never get Jolene’s gift done in time for Christmas.
***
For the last week Jake had been planning to do some Christmas shopping, but between the horses he had to shoe and the horses he’d begun training recently, he hadn’t made it to town. He was glad he’d taken Mom’s suggestion and run an ad in the paper, because he’d already gotten some business from folks who needed their buggy horses trained. He’d also bought a few horses that he planned to train and then sell to folks who were in need of a good buggy horse. He enjoyed the training process a lot more than shoeing, but until Dad was working full-time again, Jake knew he’d have to keep shoeing horses.
Jake had just finished shoeing two of their bishop’s buggy horses and had a few hours free until it was time to head for home, so he was on his way to Shipshewana to buy a few gifts. He wanted to get Mom a new set of dishes, as she’d mentioned the other day that her old ones had several chips. Buying presents for his younger siblings should be easy enough, since they were usually happy with most any toy. What to get Dad was the question. Whatever Jake decided on, he was sure Dad wouldn’t like it. He never liked much of anything Jake said or did. Jake knew it wouldn’t be right to leave Dad out, however, so he figured he’d better come up with something.
Jake parked his truck in front of the Red Barn and went inside to look around the various shops. He bought a couple of toys for his younger siblings then decided to head over to the furniture store outside of Shipshewana. Maybe he’d buy Dad a new reclining chair. The one he had now was falling apart, and Dad did like to put his feet up at night and recline while he read the newspaper. Jake hoped if he bought something Dad actually needed, it might improve his attitude toward him. It might make him realize that Jake cou
ld do a few things right.
Jake was about to get into his truck when Eunice Byler walked by. She smiled sweetly and said, “It’s nice to see you, Jake. What brings you to Shipshe on such a cold, snowy day?”
“I might ask you the same question,” he said.
“I’ve been delivering some of my candles and soaps to a few of the stores in the area. The ones I brought in before to sell on consignment have all sold.” Her smile widened. “I think it must be because everyone’s buying them for Christmas presents.”
“Guess that makes sense.” Jake started to walk away but changed his mind. He’d been wanting to confront Eunice about telling Mom that he planned to leave Indiana, and since there was no one around to hear their conversation, this was the perfect opportunity.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Jake said.
“What’s that?”
“I’m wondering why you told my mamm that I planned to leave Indiana soon.”
“I never said that.”
“Mom said you did. Said you told her that the last time you spoke with her.”
Eunice’s cheeks flushed a bright pink. “I ... uh ... did talk to her, but I didn’t really say you’d be leaving soon. I just mentioned that I figured you might be leaving soon since your daed’s legs have healed and he’s back at work. Besides,” she quickly added, “you did say you might be going back to Montana, remember?”
“That’s true, but I only said ‘might.’ I think you jumped to conclusions. And about my daed—the doctor said he should wait until he’s fully recovered to start shoeing horses again.” Truth was, with the way Dad limped around, Jake wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to shoe horses again. Jake didn’t want to keep shoeing horses permanently. It would mean he’d have less time for training horses. Besides, Dad needed something to do. If he kept busy, he wouldn’t have so much time to think of things he didn’t like about Jake.
“I’m sorry to hear your daed’s still not able to work. I didn’t realize...” Eunice stopped talking, leaned closer to Jake, and touched his arm. “I hope what I said about you leaving didn’t create a problem between you and your mamm.”
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