by Elicia Hyder
“If you pass part two, you can take the written rules test. You need eighty percent or better to pass. After that, you’ll officially be a Music City Roller. Any questions?”
No one responded.
“OK. Then let’s get started. We’ll begin with pace line drills to get warmed up. Line up on the track!”
I was pretty sure I passed the line drills with fives across the board. I didn’t fall once or trip anyone, even when weaving in and out of the line. Next was the dreaded 27 in 5. My heart was pounding like a sledgehammer in my chest as I skated up to the starting line. Olivia, Grace, Monica, and Zoey all lined up alongside me.
Olivia squeezed my shoulder. “You’ve got this.”
I nodded, but my palms were sweating inside my wrist guards.
Medusa was standing next to Kelly on the sidelines. She waved to get my attention. “Remember what I told you. Breathe and focus on pacing yourself. Five-and-a-half laps per minute. That’s all you need.”
“Thanks.” I forced a terrified smile.
Shamrocker blew the starting whistle.
Olivia immediately took the lead, of course. Grace fell in behind her. Then me, Monica, and Zoey. I kept my eyes fixed on Grace’s back. Medusa had also said to try and keep pace with whoever was in front of me. We entered the first turn. Push, stretch, step. Push, stretch, step.
We skated out of it to the outside center line, then back into the other turn. Push, stretch, step. Push, stretch, step.
“One!” Kelly shouted.
By the fifth lap, Grace was pulling away from me. I pushed harder.
“Six!”
“Seven!”
“Eight!”
“Nine!”
“Ten!”
Medusa held up two fingers when I came back around again. That was two minutes. I pushed harder and extended my strides.
“Eleven!”
“Twelve!”
“Thirteen!”
“Fourteen!”
“Fifteen!”
“Sixteen!”
Medusa was holding up three fingers.
My cheeks puffed out and sweat slid down my face. As I passed Zoey, she cheered, “Good job, Lucy!”
I kept my head down, my eyes fixed on Grace.
“Seventeen!”
“Eighteen!”
“Nineteen!”
“Twenty!”
“Twenty-one!”
“Final minute warning!” Shamrocker shouted.
I did the math in my head. There wouldn’t be enough time.
“Twenty-two!”
“Twenty-three!”
“Twenty-four!”
“Thirty seconds!”
Olivia who’d already finished twenty-seven laps skated alongside me. “We’ll finish together. Push!”
“Twenty-five!”
“Twenty-six!”
The whistle blasted…but not before my skates crossed over the starting line again.
*
I was panting.
I almost threw up.
But I passed.
Olivia grabbed my hand and raised it into the air. Zoey caught up with us first and wrapped her bony arms around both of us. Medusa came next. Then Grace and Monica.
We all passed except for Zoey, but that was expected. We knew she’d get it the next time.
Olivia grabbed my helmet. “I’m so proud of you.”
I laughed. “I’m kinda proud of me too!”
She laughed and pulled me into a hug.
Medusa slapped me on the back. “I hate to be a ball buster here, but you’ve still got a full day’s worth of testing to do.”
She was right, but the endurance test was the one I was most worried about. Once it was behind me, I had the confidence to pass the other skills with relative ease. By the end of the final test on skates, we were all red faced, heaving, and dripping with sweat, but the four of us made it.
Shamrocker passed out the written tests and pencils to all who were still standing, figuratively. I was laying on the floor, flat on my aching back, by the track. “Fill out the top with your actual name, your derby name, and your derby number. When you finish, take off your gear and go wait on the bleachers.”
I rolled to my side and looked at Olivia. “We have to have decided on our derby name?”
She was reading over the test. “Looks like it. Good luck.”
The test was harder than I expected with questions about penalties, scoring, and official reviews. Was the lead jammer whistle one long blast or two? I wasn’t even sure what a “Game Structure Penalty” was. We had studied throughout our training, but staring at those questions, I wished we’d studied more. The paper was trembling in my hand when I turned it in.
Olivia was already taking off her skates when I got to where our bags were shoved against the wall. She looked up. “That was freaking hard.”
My eyes doubled. “I know. I’m not sure I got eighty percent.”
She pulled off a knee pad and made a sour face. “Me either.”
I nibbled a fingernail while we waited in the bleachers. Zoey was sitting beside me, as anxious as the rest of us to see our results.
Finally, Shamrocker walked up in front of us with her clipboard. “If I call your name, come up and get your test along with your new skater packet. If I don’t call your name, we all sincerely hope we’ll see you at the next round of Fresh Meat in the spring.”
Olivia reached over and gripped my hand.
Shamrocker held up the first test. “With a written test score of ninety-eight percent, Dr. Hooker, number $100.”
We all erupted in cheers and stomping against the bleachers as Monica walked down to get her test. All the judges and coaches shook her hand.
“With a score of ninety-four, number 5, 5 Scar Jeneral!”
“With a score of ninety-two, number 6-ft-2, Britches Get Stitches!”
Olivia cupped her hands around her mouth and screamed. Grace did a pageant wave as she descended the benches.
“With a score of eighty-eight, number 212, Rocksee Rolls!”
“With a score of eighty-six, number 220v, Electra Cal!”
I’d chewed a bloody hole inside my cheek.
“Also with a score of eighty-six, number 34DD, Goldie Knocks!” Goldie Knocks’s aptly chosen derby number was nearly bouncing out of her tank top as she walked to get her test. I was jealous.
“With a score of eighty-four, number 12Gauge, Slugs Bunny!”
“With a score of eighty-two, number L0L, Lights Out Lucy!”
I slowly rose from my seat, my cheeks hot as the sun, as the room erupted in thunderous applause. Olivia jumped up and hugged me.
“I knew you could do it!” she cheered with tears in her eyes.
I kissed her cheek. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”
My thighs burned as I walked down the bleachers, and when I stepped off the bottom one, I tripped and stumbled forward. Shamrocker caught me, laughing hysterically.
“Oh my god. That was perfect,” she said, steadying me.
The red in my face deepened.
She handed me my test. “Congratulations, Lucy.”
“Thank you.”
Medusa jogged over and grabbed me around the middle, hoisting me off my feet in a huge hug. The crowd cheered louder. When she returned my feet to the floor, her arm stayed slung around my neck. “I’m proud of you, Trip Hazard.”
I glared at her. “That’s not my name.”
She laughed and nodded her head. “Lights Out Lucy, is it?”
I smiled.
She winked. “I like it. It’s perfect, really.”
“And finally, with a passing score of eighty, number…” Shamrocker paused for dramatic effect. “Bloody 4, Union Jackhammer!”
The room cheered, but my heart fell through the floor. Olivia didn’t pass. Most jaws were dropped, including Grace and Monica’s. Styx was staring up at the ceiling. Medusa crossed her arms.
Olivia was staring straight ahead.
<
br /> I wanted to scream.
“Remember, if you didn’t make it this time around, the next Fresh Meat session starts in March! If you passed, you’re officially a member of the Rollers’ training team, the Rising Rollers, and you’re invited to skate in The Monster’s Brawl next Saturday. Check the message board for more information!” Shamrocker shouted.
I looked up at Medusa. “Olivia’s the best skater we have. If she doesn’t deserve to be here, none of us do.”
“Not my call, kid,” she said.
Olivia walked down the bleachers and stopped in front of Shamrocker. The coach handed her her test and gave her a hug. I stomped over and ripped the papers out of Olivia’s hand. “It can’t be that bad. Surely, only a question or two short!”
“Lucy, stop,” Olivia said.
But it was too late.
The test was blank.
I blinked. “You didn’t even take it?”
Shamrocker rocked awkwardly from her heels to her toes. “I’m going to leave you two alone to discuss this. Congratulations again, Lucy.”
When she was gone, I held up the papers in the air. “What the hell, Olivia?”
She smiled and pulled me in for another hug. “I told you. I’m just here for moral support.”
I smacked her across the head with the test.
She laughed. “My place is at the restaurant. I love my job, and this sport takes a lot of time away from it.”
“I’m going to do my best to convince her otherwise,” Styx said, stopping at my side.
I looked at her. “Did you know about this?”
Styx nodded. “She told me a few days ago. Swore me to secrecy.”
I pointed at Olivia. “You suck.”
“I know.” She slung her arm around my neck. “You can berate me over a round of beers. It’s time to celebrate.”
Twenty-One
The Monster’s Brawl, Saints vs. Sinners was scheduled to start at six o’clock on Saturday night. I was on the Sinners’ roster and was expected to dress accordingly minus the jersey which would be provided upon arrival. The Brawl was open to the public, and according to the Rollers’ online message board, the party was almost sold out. Costumes were not optional.
Even though Olivia wasn’t skating, she took the night off to accompany me to the bout. She even dressed in a full vampiress costume, complete with a cape, a wig, and bloody fangs. Styx came over to get ready with us, and when she walked into my bathroom, I drew back with a gasp. Her face was painted with professional precision to match the skull tattoo on her leg.
“You scared me to death!” I laughed and gripped my chest. “You look terrifying.”
Olivia kissed her square on her black lips. “I think she looks hot.”
Styx held up the box in her hand. “Do you want me to paint your face?”
My eyes widened as I finished sweeping my hair up into a ponytail. “And cover up my badass bruises?”
Styx grinned and dangled the box off her fingertip. “Or make them even more badass.”
When Styx was finished, I looked like someone had bashed my face in—again. The actual bruise was brushed with crimson, deep purple, and black and extended all the way back to my hairline and up to my eyebrow. She’d applied latex cuts to my forehead and nose and blended them in with my skin before covering them with fake blood. The corner of my mouth was painted to look like it was ripped open, and she covered my whole face with a thin black dust.
I looked awful.
And awesome.
I admired her work in the mirror. “This is amazing. Is this what you do at your work?”
“Sometimes,” she said. “What are you going to wear tonight?”
“Didn’t the message board say we’d get jerseys to wear?”
She nodded. “Yes, but it’s tradition to at least wear crazy tights.”
“I have fishnets,” I said.
Olivia pointed at me. “Hang on.” She returned a moment later with a brown paper gift bag.
“What is this?” I asked as she handed it to me.
“A little good-luck present.”
I looked inside and pulled out the wad of fleshy red material. “What the hell?” I grabbed the waist, letting the legs dangle. The material was thin and shredded.
Olivia tugged on it. “It’s Fresh Meat pants!”
Styx made a gagging noise. “They’re disgusting!”
I laughed. “You’re so weird.”
Olivia pulled Styx toward my bedroom door. “Put them on. You’re gonna be late.”
The parking lot was full at the Rollers’ Sweatshop. Styx drove us around back and parked in a small lot I didn’t even know existed. We lugged our gear through a back door. The inside of the Sweatshop looked completely different. A disco ball dangled from the ceiling, the bleachers were pulled out all around the room, and a skate-rental table was set up in the cage. A sign hung above it that read “Sober skaters only. Don’t make us call off your jam!”
Beyond the cage was a guy dressed as a hot dog selling hot dogs next to a full bar with a beer keg and a huge cauldron marked “Bitches’ Brew.”
Olivia grabbed my arm. “I’m going to get a drink. Have fun tonight.”
I slung my heavy bag around to my back and pulled her into a tight hug. “I wish you were skating with me.”
“Part of me does too.” She looked at me with fake blood dripping from her fangs. “Hit some bitches for both of us, OK?”
“I will.”
Styx led the way through the costumed crowd. I lost count of how many witches there were. Vampires were plentiful as well. There was a person in a full T-Rex suit and someone dressed as a gorilla on skates. The entire Justice League was accounted for, including three beautifully sculpted men wearing nothing but speedos and body paint as The Flash, Batman, and Green Lantern.
The Music City Jeerleaders were dressed as themselves.
Zoey was at the scoreboard table in a bright yellow dress with her cute pixie hair dyed blue. She was Joy, the incurably optimistic character from Disney’s movie Inside Out. She caught my eye, smiling brightly, and held up two thumbs.
On the track, a few skaters were warming up. Judging by the halos and angel wings, they were from the Saints team.
“Come on,” Styx said. “The Sinners are over here.”
We started across the room.
“Lucy!” a booming voice called.
My head swiveled in the direction of my name, and a waving, bloody machete caught my eye. Jason, from Friday the 13th, was motioning me over. Because of the hockey mask, I had no idea who it was, but I did recognize the woman in the slutty Freddy Krueger dress with the long razor claws beside him.
Ava.
I laughed and ran over to hug her. “Oh my god, what are you doing here?”
“I looked up the website.” She smiled. “I can’t believe I didn’t get a personal invitation.”
“I never thought you’d come!”
She waved her claws around the room. “What’s not to love? This is awesome.”
I looked up at the man beside her. “Is this who I think it is?”
Jake lifted the mask just enough for me to see his face. “Shh. Don’t tell anybody.”
I covered my mouth and giggled. “Thanks, you guys.”
“Good luck out there,” he said.
Ava grabbed my arm. “And be careful!”
“I will!” I waved and ran back to my teammates.
“Do you have your jersey?” someone asked, grabbing me by the arm.
I realized when my eyes focused on her that we hadn’t met before, but she was wearing skates and a bedazzled tank top that said Music City Sinners on the front. “No, not yet,” I answered.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
“Lucy.”
Styx grabbed my shoulder. “Your name is Lights Out Lucy.”
I laughed. “Oh yeah.”
The woman turned, and I saw the name across her back. Susan. The only skater on our team—or
on any team that I’d seen—who didn’t have an outlandish derby name. I liked her already. “Here you go,” she said, handing me a shirt. “Hurry and change. Leave your stuff in the bathroom.”
I scurried across the room to the bathroom. It was packed with Saints and Sinners alike. I found a semi-open spot in the corner and took care with my face paint as I stripped off my shirt and put on the black jersey. Then I dropped to the floor and put on my gear.
“Good luck tonight, newbie,” Kraken said before she skated out the door. She was on the Saints’ team. “You’re going to need it,” she added with a wink.
I was one of the last skaters to leave the bathroom. When I did, a hand grabbed my arm. “There you are!”
I looked over. “Dad!” Katherine was standing beside him. She was wearing a black dress and a Cruella de Vil wig. Dad was wearing a white shirt with black spots painted on it. “You guys look great!”
He put his arms around me. “Look at you! Are you supposed to be yourself?”
I stuck my tongue out at him. “Very funny.” I skated past Dad to Katherine and gave her a hug. “Thanks for coming. This means a lot to me.”
“We wouldn’t miss it,” she said with a smile. I believed her.
“Have you seen your brother?” Dad asked.
I shook my head. “He’s here?”
“He rode in with us,” Katherine said.
“I’d look for the booze or pretty girls if I were you.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ve got to get with my team. I’ll see you after?”
“Yes.” Dad grabbed my hand when I turned to skate away. “Hold on a second. Let me see that jersey.”
My stomach tightened.
“Lights Out Lucy,” he read aloud.
I turned with a sheepish grin. “Do you like it?”
He belted out a hearty, jolly laugh. “I love it. Come here.” He hugged me one more time. “Be safe out there.”
“I will.” I kissed his cheek before skating away.
Styx was waving her arms near the corner of the room. All the girls in black, including me, skated over and gathered around her. “All right, everybody listen up,” Styx said. “The Duchess is coaching for the Saints, so we have the coach from the Rising Rollers, Haley ‘Hale Damage’ Jones.”
Haley Jones. Olivia’s friend from college.
I looked around for my roommate but didn’t see her anywhere.