by Robin Roseau
“You can’t put this model there?” I asked, indicating Tiera’s larger model of the entire school.
“I can set it there, but it is the wrong size.”
I still didn’t understand, and I thought she could see my frustration. “Lady Yallameenara, are the school buildings larger than a barn?”
“Much larger.”
“If I put this model there,” she said, pointing, “it will look like your new temple will be larger than the school buildings. But it will not. It will be about the same size as some of the barns you have seen.”
“You made the model the wrong size.”
“I made the model a size I could make,” she said. “Your artist made her model the size she could make. They are both only models, and they do not match.”
“Yalla,” Juleena said. “It is like the statue of the Goddess. There was the original statue, and it stood on a table and was this tall.” She indicated. “And then she made a new statue, and she made it full size. Both represent the Goddess. No one would see the first one and believe she was only two feet tall, or if we had both side-by-side, believe she had suddenly become a giant.”
“Oh,” I said. “Now I understand.” I turned to Juleena and pointed at the place that would hold the altar. “Is this the right size? It must be the same as the room where we helped Larien. You remember.”
She nodded and looked down. “It is very different, Yalla. The ceiling will not be as high, and of course, there are not so many exits. It is about the same size.”
I switched to the language of the Goddess. “What do you think?”
Vérundia, Larien, and Terél moved closer. They had already examined it carefully, but they did so again.
“It’s not stone,” I said.
“Our Prestainamatta told you to make it different from her Heart,” Vérundia said. “She told you to make it so you would be happy. Would you be happy holding celebrations in this place?”
“I want to hear what you think,” I said.
The three offered glances, and then Larien said, “I think, Yalla, there is much joy to opening these windows. There is much serenity in this setting. You were right about the temple here in the palace. I would not question you again. My only concern is that you will forever worry you have made the wrong choice. I do not believe this is the wrong choice unless you do.”
“She’s right,” Terél said. “You must be filled with serenity, Yalla, and joy. If you are, the rest of us will be.”
I nodded and turned back to Varmateed. “It must be light inside. Can you add more windows? Could you make the ceiling a window?”
“No.” But she smiled. “But I can add more windows.” She produced paper and charcoal, and she began to draw. She worked quickly, and she showed me what she would do.
When she was done, I asked, “Why can’t you just put windows in the roof?”
“Because they will leak,” she said. “And a good hailstorm will break many of them.”
I looked at her drawing.
“It won’t be as bright as a ceiling of windows, but it won’t leak, if you perform proper maintenance. I cannot say the glass will never break, but if they do, water won’t pour like a waterfall.”
That I could understand. I’d been near windows that had been left open during a storm. And so I nodded.
“Build it.”
* * * *
And so now I stood, facing the stone altar in the center of the large room. If I lifted my head, I could look out the opened windows and see the cliffs, and then the ocean beyond. There was a ship leaving Marport, heading south, and I watched it for a minute, then lowered my eyes back to the altar.
This had been difficult, or so I’d been told. The floor underneath this point had been especially reinforced to support the stone. But it was now rock solid, if I could say such a thing, and I was satisfied.
The surface was smooth. Tomorrow during the celebration, I would use the spell our Prestainamatta had given me. I hoped it did what I thought it did. But she had asked for a smooth surface, and we had a smooth surface.
And then Larien approached, coming to a stop opposite me. “It is done, High Priestess.”
I looked up at her. “No, Larien. Change. It will never be done. It is only done for now.”
“For now,” she agreed. “Why do you look so worried?”
“What if she can’t hear us here? Her statue is at the palace. I don’t want to move it. I want to see it every day, and this is too far to come. Should I have built this temple in the city?”
“No, Yalla,” she said. “This is the right place. What is really wrong?”
“In the past, I’ve done the equinox celebrations at the palace. Now I am going to do it here. That feels wrong, Larien.”
“So hold it twice.”
“Twice?”
“Hold it twice,” she repeated. “We can hold it once in the morning in the palace, then come here afterwards. Yalla, the palace temple is for your household, and for those in the palace who choose to come. It is where we are every day, where we are comfortable. And for that, it is perfect. But what is perfect for a household is not perfect or all of Marport. And we’re not done. We need to plant the gardens.”
“Not until next year. It is too late.”
“Perhaps,” she said. “But this place is perfect for Marport.”
“Shouldn’t it be easier to reach?”
“There are no temples in Lopéna,” she said.
“There are shrines everywhere.”
“Yes, and they are built by individual families, and tended by those families. If I pass one, I pray at it, and I may spend a little time tending to it, but for the major celebrations, the High Priestess does not use a shrine, Yalla. People should have to put in some effort to attend, don’t you think?”
“I’m being silly,” I said.
“You see the size of the job in front of you, and you are overwhelmed,” she replied. “Yalla, there’s something you know about me. If I think you’re making a mistake, I will tell you.”
I laughed. “Fair enough.”
“Yalla, this place is sweet and lovely and perfect. Our temple at the palace is also sweet and lovely and perfect, but it is crowded with more than fifteen people. It was time to build this place, and it is perfect.” She smiled. “Just like you.”
“I’m not perfect.”
“You’re as perfect as I can imagine,” she said. “And I can tell you this, as well. The older priestesses, the ones who best knew your mother? They are happier than they’ve ever been, Yalla.”
“That’s because I’m never there, telling them what to do.”
“No, Yalla, it’s because you bring joy, love, and serenity everywhere you go.”
That felt good to hear.
“Will anyone come?”
Larien laughed.
“It’s not funny!” I said. “What if no one comes?”
“Yalla, people will come. But what if they don’t? You’ll have all the priestesses plus the queen, both princesses, and your daughters. Right now, that’s all that matters.”
“I can fit all of them into the palace temple.”
“Frankly, no, you can’t,” she said. “But even if you could, people in the palace may not come if they think there’s no room.”
“Everyone has always been welcome,” I asserted.
“I don’t understand why you’re so nervous.”
“I don’t know,” I replied. I sighed. “I wish she were here.”
“I know,” Larien said. “I do, too.”
I squared my shoulders and nodded. But then I slumped. “You and Terél should be at the altar with me.”
“We will be, when you consecrate it,” she said. “Yalla, it’s going to be fine. It’s going to be perfect. Have faith.”
“It’s one thing to have faith in the Goddess, or to have faith in you, or in Juleena and Alta. But you want me to have faith in me.”
“Yes,” she said. “I do. Like the rest of u
s do.”
I sighed and nodded.
* * * *
We did what Larien suggested. At dinner, I let everyone know that I would host a small equinox celebration in our temple in the morning. People were welcome to come if they wanted, but it was the big celebration that mattered the most to me.
That wasn’t entirely true. They were both important to me. But if I was the only one in our temple -- which I knew wouldn’t be the case -- that was fine with me.
And so, I rose, and I ate a small meal before taking a bath and dressing in my best vestments. Then alone I walked down the hall to the temple.
For the summer and winter solstice, we always celebrated the same two words: life and change. But for the summer and fall equinox, we chose from the other words. As was my daily habit, I picked a word, and I thought about it. I’d use the same word for the first celebration, and I would pick another word for the larger celebration this afternoon.
I considered my choice of words: Love, Joy, Trust, Serenity, A Gift Given, and A Gift Received. I was feeling far from serene, and so that was the word I chose.
I moved to stand in front of the statue, then knelt and bowed my head to offer my morning prayer. I spoke aloud, “Prestainamatta, I love you, and I miss you. The new temple is ready, and we’ll hold our first celebration there this afternoon. But I am so filled with doubts. Larien tells me I am being foolish. It truly is a beautiful location, and the builder did a good job.” I spoke for a while, and then I said, “Serenity. I don’t feel at all serene.”
And that was when Larien and Terél stepped into the temple. I continued to pray to the Goddess, and was only partially aware as they moved along opposite sides of the statue to kneel beside me. And then they began to do something they’d done before, but never while I’d been praying.
They began to use their magic, offering a gift of serenity.
I faltered for a moment, but Terél said, “Please continue to pray, High Priestess.”
And so I did, and they used their magic.
And so I was lost in the prayer, and in what they were doing. Time passed as we knelt before the statue, and when finally they withdrew and I looked up, the room was full.
“Oh,” I said.
All the immediate members of my family were there, including the queen and all four of my daughters. Láti was there, and Tiera. And Malta was there, too. Hallámierté stood beside Ralalta. Vérundia and Hastiá held hands, smiling. Jakla stood with my daughters.
“Oh,” I said again. Then I leaned over and hugged Larien and then Terél. “Thank you,” I whispered to each of them.
I stood, somewhat unsteadily, and I wondered how long I’d been on my knees. “Thank you for coming,” I said. “Is it time?”
“Yes,” Juleena said.
“We should enter properly,” I said, “and sing our song of greeting.”
“Yalla,” said Vérundia. “We did, and it was beautiful.”
“Well,” I said. “Larien and Terél seem to have gotten very, very good at that particular spell.” I smiled. “I was going to devote the celebration today to Serenity, but I think after that, we should talk about A Gift Received.”
* * * *
We had decided I should make an entrance, and so I was not there when people began to arrive. Once the abbey was built, I would be able to wait there. Instead, Gwenla loaned me her office with Láti for company. I was dressed in my vestments, of course. If we had been in Alteara, she would have worn her guard uniform. But here, she took a page from my book, and she wore leather much of the time.
But she had surprised me today. She wore a gown, and she looked absolutely stunning. Instead of her sword, she carried a halberd, which she could easily ground at her side. “Can you fight in that?”
“Yes,” she said. “But I won’t have to.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Láti,” I said.
“Thank you, Yalla,” she replied. “I am, too.”
I did what I could not to fret, and I did what I could not to ask her to see if anyone had come. And so, I learned some of this later, but while we were waiting, people did come.
Some of the kids came from the school, of course, along with all the acolytes living there, and they would arrive via the paths we’d made. But the rest came from Marport, some arriving on foot, some mounted or traveling by carriage. A few enterprising souls even had arranged to help ferry people on wagons, and they would turn a healthy business today.
People arrived, and they entered the temple through the main entrance. My priestesses were there to answer questions, and to explain the temple, and to introduce people to the Goddess, and to her words. And as the temple filled, those same priestesses moved people back out, this time through the open, seaside doors, where they could gather and mingle.
Waiting in the school, I knew the plan, of course, but I wouldn’t see the reality for at least a little while.
And then a bell began to toll.
I stood and turned to Láti. “It’s time,” she said, and I nodded.
I’d made changes from what we normally did. I waited until stepping out of the school, and then, alone, I began to sing the song of greeting, collecting the remainder of an honor guard as I walked.
We followed the path along the cliffs, and then I looked ahead, and I saw people. I came to a sudden stop, the words faltering.
So many people.
“They came,” Láti whispered.
They certainly had.
Oh, it wasn’t all of Marport, not hardly. And from this distance, I didn’t see specifics. But there were a lot of people.
“Well, High Priestess?” Láti prompted. So I reached over, squeezed her hand, and then continued the song.
I sang alone, and as I drew closer, anyone still talking drew still, all turning to watch me. I followed the path, and as I drew closer still, they began to jostle, stepping away from the path for me.
And then I was among them, my honor guard falling behind. I didn’t recognize anyone at first, but then I saw Balric and Orah, who ran the inn where Muranna and I had briefly worked, all those years ago. They looked older, but they were smiling. I came to a stop, then stepped off the path and walked straight to them. Still singing, I hugged them both before turning away to continue my walk.
Gwenla was there with, as best I could tell, every girl from the school. Oh, it probably wasn’t every girl, but it certainly looked like it. She received another hug, and some of the girls received a simple caress as I passed between them.
The Royal Guard was there, nearly everyone. I hugged Keelara.
Malta was there, another woman with her. Malta accepted a hug.
Some of the grooms and groundskeepers from the track were there, as well as all the grooms from the palace stable.
Mellara was there with her entire, now greatly expanded family.
And there were others: some from Rotaren Boarding School; the family and workers who had built the temple; everyone from the palace whose names I knew, some with their families; Andro and Valara with their family and everyone, it seemed, from Valara’s winery.
Lady Griffen was there. I hadn’t exchanged a single word with her since Muranna’s betrayal, but when I saw her, I walked up and hugged her. She was tentative about it, but she hugged me back and caressed my cheek as I stepped away.
And there were others, of course, many I didn’t know.
I passed through them, singing the song.
And then, closest to the temple, my priestesses were waiting with my family and immediate household. I turned to the priestesses, and I began gathering them with me. We didn’t want this to take all afternoon, and so rather than hugging each, I caressed each face, and once I did, she began singing, following along behind me. In that fashion, I collected each priestess and each acolyte. I collected my wives, and Queen Ralalta. Then we weaved into the temple, taking our places.
It wasn’t full; it wasn’t remotely full.
And so I walked, still singing, and I caress
ed some faces a second time. And those people stepped back out, and they went out into the waiting crowd, and they each selected someone to bring into the temple with us.
We’d talked about some of this. We had known some of the people who would be here, and we had guessed at others. Queen Ralalta was going to bring in the woman who had built the temple. She said something to Juleena, and instead, Queen Ralalta returned with Lady Griffen.
I thought it was a good choice.
Juleena collected Varmateed, our builder. Alta collected Gwenla. Mandi and Nissi together collected Lady Malta and her guest. I thought Alta had something to do with making sure they both were invited.
We filled the temple, room for those closest to us, but we also invited in some of the girls from the school.
Those priestesses closest to me, Larien, Terél, Vérundia, and Hastiá, collected children, children we didn’t know, speaking quietly with their parents before leading them in and handing them into the care of some of our acolytes.
We filled the temple, and then it was time for the song to end.
I looked around, turning a slow circle, and then I moved to stand right in the doorway and turned again. Then I raised my voice, speaking Framaran. “Welcome, all of you, for this joyous day. Today we will celebrate the autumnal equinox, but before we do that, we will consecrate this new temple to our Prestainamatta, the Goddess Yahamala.”
I paused before continuing. “The Goddess has her own language, which is what I will be using today. While we consecrate the temple, I wish those closest to me to assist, but for our main celebration, several of our priestesses will stand amongst you, and they will help to translate my words, so that you will also understand.”
I looked around the crowd, smiling and feeling overwhelmed. “I wasn’t sure what to expect today,” I admitted. “I imagine many of you would say the same.” I heard a few laughs at that and saw more than a few nods of agreement. “I imagine some of you are here to support me.” Then I offered my own laugh. “I imagine one or two came to curry favor with Queen Ralalta.” I turned to the queen and offered a brief curtsey before turning back to the crowd. “I imagine many of you are curious. You may have questions. We will hold our ceremonies, and then we will stay to answer your questions, as best we may. If you wish longer conversations, we can make arrangements.” I paused a moment and then lifted my hands. “I wish now to speak to our Prestainamatta, the Goddess I love, Yahamala. We will consecrate our new temple, and then we will begin the equinox celebration.”