He didn’t move. “Is that where Dante is?”
“No. It’s at the place where we found you. We need to get your team over to help us.”
He still didn’t move. “Can you get them out of the demon world?”
She hesitated. “Yes—”
“Yes?” He raised his eyebrows, and then moved closer to her. She pulled her shoulders back as he took over her space, raising her chin in defiance and refusing to back down. “Sweetheart, you’re lying to me. That makes me crazy. Trust me with the truth, okay? I’m on your team, remember? I’m bound to you for all eternity. You don’t have to worry about me not liking your idea and taking off. Got it?”
She sighed. “I’m not used to being able to count on anyone unconditionally.”
“I know, but you will.” He slid his fingers through her hair. “So, I’ll ask again. Can we get my team out of the demon world?”
She grimaced. “I’m working on it. I have an idea. I think we can make it work…but I don’t know for sure.”
He searched her gaze, and she suddenly felt the air between them thicken. “Okay. I trust you.”
The moment he said it, her arms began to burn again. She looked down sharply and saw more details of his brand forming on her arm. This time, now that she was facing the reality of him leaving her, the claiming didn’t feel so warm and fuzzy. “Why did that happen? You didn’t tell me a secret or give me the power to kill you—”
“The Order is my entire life,” he said. “If I fail it, if I trap us all here so we can’t get back and Dante can’t get back, then I fail. So, yeah, trusting you with the safety of my team and with finding Dante’s body and getting him out is trusting you with everything I have.” His voice burned through her, and she fisted her hand, overwhelmed by his trust.
She wasn’t worth that kind of trust. She was just…her. Ordinary. Regular. To be entrusted with something that meant so much to him… “Don’t trust me like that,” she whispered. “I’m not that altruistic.”
He grinned. “Again, denying how awesome you are. We’re going to have to work on that. Let’s go.”
She didn’t move as he headed toward the door, stunned by what had just happened between them. The Order meant that much to him that protecting it could create the bond? She realized then that although she’d known Gabe was a warrior of honor and loyalty, it went far beyond anything she could comprehend. She could never compete with that. Ever. She might be his sheva, but she would never be his number one.
She’d known that all along, but he’d made her think there was a chance, that there was hope, that there was a solution she hadn’t yet seen. But seeing the line appear on her arm made her fully grasp the truth that she’d been trying to deny. Even though he’d said he’d help her fight Rikker and Lucien, it had been partially because it fit his plans, which he had admitted at the time, but she’d chosen not to really notice.
But now she did. She was his number two. She’d never been anyone’s number two before, so that had sounded pretty good to her. But now? She wanted to be his number one, and it wasn’t until now that she understood how badly she needed to be his everything. The realization of the truth made the marks on her arm feel like a fake promise that she’d never wanted to be real…until now. “I think I hate you,” she said quietly.
“Well, I want to kill every man who has ever touched your body, and every man you’re considering letting touch you in the future, so yeah, not exactly a champagne and strawberries kind of mood.” He glowered at her, looking so cranky, that she finally burst out laughing, laughter that dissolved the emotions trying to overwhelm her.
“God, we’re a pair, aren’t we?” Grasping for that relief, she rolled her eyes as she slipped a small, poison-tipped dagger into a pocket over her left breast. “Okay, Mr. Badass. Let’s go. If the demons find us before we reach your team, neither of us is going to get what we want.” She grabbed a few more weapons and began shoving them into the last pockets of her outfit when Gabe’s hand closed around her upper arm.
She looked up at him as she slid the last knife into a pocket sewn into her boot. “What?”
“I wish I could stay for you. I wish I could walk away from my team for you.”
The words were so simple, so plain, and yet they were so heartfelt that they made tears burn in her eyes. She nodded once, blinking back the tears that she would never let herself shed. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”
She pulled away from him and began walking toward the entrance to the cave. “Let’s go.”
She didn’t look back as she stepped outside, knowing that he would be right behind her, covering her back at all costs, no matter what, for as long as he could.
For as long as he could. Not forever. Just for as long as he could.
Somehow, that no longer felt like enough.
Chapter 27
The acrid scent of demon lust jerked Sophie from her sleep. She bolted upright, her heart hammering violently in her chest as she shoved Vlad’s arm off her. “Vlad!” she hissed. “Get up! They’re here! They’re coming for me!”
“What?” He leapt to his feet, awake in an instant, but she was already lurching away from him.
She slammed her hands on the rock wall, trying to find an opening, but there was none. “There’s no door! We’re trapped!” She whirled around, frantically racing across the cavern. “Can you smell them? They’re here! They’re coming!” She clawed at the wall, frantic to get through the rock, knowing that they were coming for her, so close, so close, so—
“Sophie.” Vlad’s hand settled on her shoulder, and she screamed, jerking away before she realized it was just him.
“Can’t you feel the taint of evil? Of the darkness?” It was pressing down on her, thicker and thicker. “They’re coming! We have to go! Dear God, they’re coming for me!” She hammered on the wall with her fists. “Help! We need help! Vlad!” she screamed his name, desperate for him to hear her, to save her, to come—
He grabbed her from behind, his hand covering her mouth. “Sophie,” he hissed. “Ssh!”
She fought to get free, terrified of his arms, of being trapped, of not being able to escape, but he just held her more tightly, drawing her more tightly against his chest. Panic hit her, and she clawed at his arms, desperate. She could feel the heat burning her skin, the air stagnating, the scent of sulfur poisoning her. “No!” She screamed into his hand, writhing desperately to get free, but she was trapped, trapped, trapped.
Just like before. It was happening again. They were coming for her, and there was no escape, no hope, no freedom. “No!” She ripped herself free of Vlad’s arms and ran for the wall again, clawing at the rock, her fingernails tearing as she tried to get through—
“Sophie!” Vlad grabbed her again. He dragged her against him fiercely, imprisoning her against his chest, trapping her.
“No!” She screamed at him, fighting, clawing, trying to get free.
He swore under his breath, scooped her up, and then suddenly, she was on her back on the floor, pinned beneath his body, her hands trapped above her head. The rock was so hard against her back, digging into her ribs.
“Sophie. Look at me.”
The ceiling was rock. The walls were rock. The floor was rock. Dear God, she was already trapped. They’d already gotten her. They’d already won—
“Sophie!” He snapped her name, his voice edged with authority. “Quit fucking around and look at me, or I will cut every primrose in your kingdom and feed them to the damned rats!”
“What?” She stared at him, his threat jerking her out of her panic. “You’d ruin my flowers?”
He stared at her, his eyes dark and penetrating. “No, my little witch, you know I would never do that.”
“Your little witch?” His words struck deep, edging past the panic. He called her his little witch only when he was laughing or joking…not when there was danger. “What?”
“That’s right. There’s no danger right now. It’s okay.” His voice had
softened and gentled, his eyes searching hers.
She stared at him, his face coming into focus. She saw his beautiful eyes, the ones that always made her heart sing…and then she frowned, as his face shifted from the unlined face of a teenager into the hardened face of a man. She blinked. “Vlad?”
He nodded. “I think you were caught in a nightmare.”
“A nightmare?” She closed her eyes. “So it’s not true, then? No demons? God, I—” But even as she said it, she knew. Suddenly, she knew everything. She remembered everything. She remembered every detail of her life that had been lost to her for so long. She remembered her parents. She remembered falling into the pit. She remembered Vlad reaching for her, his face agonized as her fingers slipped from his. She remembered the moment she’d realized her family had betrayed her, that her world was lost. She remembered her best friend, Vladimir, who had been by her side since they were babies, who had married her when she was sixteen, to save her from her family.
Vlad? Her eyes snapped open.
There he was, lying on top of her, his blue eyes searching her face, his brow furrowed with concern. After almost two centuries, he was there? But how? No. He couldn’t be. It was impossible. She remembered him coming through the cavern wall…but she had to have imagined it. Her mind had to be fragmenting, torn apart by the onslaught of memories she’d hidden from for so long. But…he looked real. He felt real, the weight of his body on hers, the feel of his fingers encircling her wrists.
“Vlad?” she whispered, her voice raw. Disbelief clogged her throat. How could he be there? How could he be lying on top of her, after all this time?
“You remember me?” His face softened.
She nodded, unable to breathe, terrified it wasn’t real, that he wasn’t there. “Yes,” she whispered. “But you can’t be here. I’m losing my mind, right?”
He smiled, that same beautiful smile that she remembered so well. “No, you’re not losing your mind. It’s me.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to look at him, unwilling to fall into the trap. She knew she was dreaming. There was no way he was there. No way that after two hundred years of hell, that her best friend was there with her. “Don’t do this to me,” she whispered. “I can’t handle this.”
His fingers loosened around her right wrist, and he gently took her hand. She squeezed her eyes closed even tighter, fighting against the sobs in her throat as he moved her hand to his face. He spread her fingers over his jaw, over the heavy whiskers that pricked her skin. “I’m really here, Sophie.”
“No. It’s impossible.” But even as she said it, she slid her fingers along his jaw, over his cheekbone, across his nose, where her fingers found the bump from when he’d been head-butted by a wild boar. Her lips began to tremble, and she pressed them together. “There’s no way—”
He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Open your eyes, Sophie. See me.”
“No, because you won’t be there.”
His low chuckle wrapped around her. “Just as stubborn as you always were,” he said, the affection in his voice tugging at her heart. “I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t know you were alive. I just found out yesterday. I am a piece of shit bastard fuck up for leaving you here all this time.”
A piece of shit bastard fuck up? That was so something he’d say. Reluctantly, terrified that he wouldn’t be there, she opened her eyes.
He was there, staring down at her, his face inches from hers. Anguish raked across his face, pain etched deeply in his beautiful blue eyes. Slowly, afraid, so afraid, she placed her palm on his cheek. His skin was warm beneath her touch. Solid. Real. “It’s really you?” she whispered. There was such a deluge of memories flooding her brain right now, she could barely think. She didn’t know what was real, what wasn’t. There were so many pieces, she couldn’t even fit them all together, like an onslaught of information paralyzing her brain.
Except for Vlad. He was a solid, real presence, her anchor, just as he’d always been, for her entire life, until her parents had sacrificed her, tearing her from her life, from her world, from her best friend.
He nodded, not taking his gaze off hers. “Yeah.”
“Vlad.” She flung her arms around his neck with a low cry.
“God, Sophie.” His voice was rough and ragged as he pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair.
She held him tight, so tight that her arms started to hurt, but she couldn’t let go. Suddenly, two hundred years of being strong collapsed, disintegrating into his arms. She cried the tears of terror from when she’d fallen into the pit. The anguish of loneliness before she’d met Maria. The constant fear for the women who were being poisoned. The agonizing depression that would overwhelm her whenever she looked too far ahead in her future, imagining an eternity of hell. All of her emotions swamped her, a ruthless onslaught of pain and fear that she’d kept buried. She’d been so strong for so long…until now. Until she could feel Vlad’s arms around her. Until she could breathe in that same woodsy scent she’d always associated with him. Until his body poured warmth into her, everywhere they touched. Until she couldn’t be strong anymore. Until it was finally, for the first time, safe to crumble.
“Hey, babe, it’s okay. I’m here now.” He kissed the top of her head, and then her cheeks, kissing away the tears streaming down her cheeks.
She closed her eyes, lifting her face to his while he kissed her nose, her forehead, his lips so soft and tender. Kind. Gentle. His kiss was surreal, a familiar strength grounding her, dragging her back from the precipice she’d been on for so long.
Still whispering reassurances, he kissed her chin, the tip of her nose, her mouth—
Then he froze, his lips on hers.
She sucked in her breath, shocked by the desperate need that suddenly took root inside her. He’d kissed her a thousand times before, all of them playful and innocent, but this had felt different. Not innocent. Not playful. It felt deep and intimate, burdened by centuries apart, centuries crushed by darkness.
She needed him. She needed her best friend. She needed to connect with him, with her past, with the only person who knew who she’d once been. She needed to feel alive again, like a human being, not a whispered phantom sliding through a life so dark that she tried her best not to feel.
His body was taut, rippling with tension, and he swore under his breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you—”
“No!” She tightened her arms around his neck as he started to retreat, pulling him down toward her. His mouth slammed onto hers, and she kissed him fiercely, pouring herself into the kiss, desperate for him to kiss her back.
He didn’t. He just held himself above her, his body rigid with tension as she kissed him.
Finally, she stopped, an aching loss crushing her chest like a vise. “Why?” she whispered.
“Because I betrayed you.” Anguish tore through his voice. “I let you get taken, and I fucked around for two hundred years while you suffered—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips, silencing him. “Shut up,” she said, barely able to speak through the tears. “For one minute, for just one stupid minute, get over yourself and look at me. Look at how much I need you right now. I’ll be happy to hate you later if you want, but right now, Vlad, I need you to kiss me like your entire world stopped the moment you found me again.”
He swore. “It did, Sophie. I never—”
“Then kiss me, you stupid man. Kiss me like you used to. I need that connection again.” She framed his face, forcing him to look at her, to see her. “I’m not dead, Vlad. I’m alive. I’m here. I need you—”
He caught her hands, his voice rough. “Sophie. I can’t kiss you the way I used to. I used to kiss your forehead because you made me laugh.” He grabbed her hand and put it on the front of his jeans. She sucked in her breath at the feel of his erection beneath her palm. “If I kiss you, I’m going to consume you. If I kiss you, I’m not going to stop. I’m strung so tight right now that I
can barely think. I thought I’d lost you forever, and suddenly, you’re here, in my arms. You’re my entire world, and you always have been. Having you back…” He swore, and shook his head. “Jesus, Sophie, I can barely even think around you, but it’s not like it used to be.” His eyes darkened. “There’s nothing innocent or pure about my response when I feel your body against mine. Nothing. All I want is to make you mine, to sink my cock into you and cement us together so that nothing can ever tear you away from me again.” His voice was tormented, intense with need so raw that her belly tightened. “So, let go of me, let me get up, and you can—”
“No.” She kissed him again. Hard. Deep. The kind of kiss that tore every last one of her shields from her soul, exposing her, making her so vulnerable she could barely breathe, but she didn’t care. There was nothing to wait for, nothing to look forward to, no stupid morals to try to adhere to. All she had was this moment, with the man she’d lost for the last two hundred years.
He growled low in his chest, a visceral, untamed growl that poured heat through her body, and then he sank his fingers into her hair and kissed her back, a fierce, almost violent claim driven by the darkness in his soul, by a desperation every bit as great as hers.
She knew in that instant, that there was no turning back. Not for them. Not in this moment.
Chapter 28
The moment Vlad’s lips descended on Sophie’s, his mind stopped functioning. His entire being became a violent, frenzied miasma of desperation and need. He poured himself into his kiss, his entire soul screaming for the woman he’d lost so long ago. His kisses were frantic, beyond his ability to control, desperate to drown them both in the depths of the darkness that had nearly sucked them both in for so long.
Hunt the Darkness (Order of the Blade Book 11) Page 25