Hunt the Darkness (Order of the Blade Book 11)
Page 40
She looked up at him. “I’ve seen evil,” she said. “I’ve tasted it. You’re not it.”
“I know I’m not evil,” he said, trying to catch his breath as she traced designs on his chest. “But I’m a killer. I’m weak, unable to control my wolf. You’re not safe with me.”
“I am.” She framed his face with her hands. “The song caught you off guard before. You didn’t have time to prepare, and you had no emotional connection with my sister. That’s why it was able to incite you like that.” She smiled, a smile so tender that something twisted inside Jace. “But you know about it now, and you have a connection to me. You won’t kill me.”
Jace wanted to be the guy she believed in. He’d once thought he was. But he knew better now. He released his hands and clasped hers, pressing a kiss to her fingertips. “Since I was born, I’ve known my reason for existence was to protect those who needed it.”
She nodded. “I can see that.”
“I created my own pack of outsiders, because I knew no one else could help them. I was their savior. I was the guy who could save them.” He pressed her hand to his heart, as if that would help her understand exactly how deeply he lived his words. “My entire being is focused on protecting others. Every living creature that crosses my path automatically falls under that protection. My connection to them is instant. That’s what has enabled me to kill the few wolves that I’ve had to destroy, because they were predators who could not be cured of their bloodlust, and my job is protection.” He’d never tried to explain himself before, but with Abby, he wanted to. He needed to. He needed someone to understand what drove him, so that his legacy would not die with him.
Empathy flickered across Abby’s face. “I know,” she said. “I could tell the moment I heard your voice on my grandmother’s doorstep. That’s why I came after you.”
“No, don’t.” He brushed his fingers over her lips, silencing her. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t need to know someone personally to have that connection with them. It’s instant and complete. I had it with your sister by virtue of the fact that she was a living creature…and yet I killed her anyway.” He tightened his grip on her hands. “That song overruled everything that has defined me for my entire life. Protection of innocents is all that matters to me, and it broke that. No matter how much you want to believe in me, you can’t do it. Do you understand?”
Abby searched his face for a long moment, not answering. As the silence stretched on, a great yearning awoke inside him, a longing to have her refuse to accept his declaration, the same yearning he’d felt at her house when he’d offered her the gun. But at the same time, the yearning also awakened a rising fear in him that she’d give him what he wanted, because if she believed in him and gave him a chance, he knew he’d take it…and that would endanger her, and so many others. His soul burned for her to believe in him, but his moral code needed her to condemn him.
In the end, she said nothing.
She simply lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles, kisses so tender and intimate that time seemed to stand still. “You’re a good man, Jace.”
He watched her lips pressed against his skin, every cell in his body screaming to drag her into his arms and take those lips as his own. “That’s not always enough,” he said softly. “And we both know it.”
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Sneak Peek: A Real Cowboy Never Walks Away
She tried.
She really tried not to be so aware of him.
But there was no way for Lissa McIntyre to ignore the man sitting at her counter.
When he’d first walked into the café, she’d been a little unnerved by the sheer size of him. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and wore his leather duster as if he were an outlaw from the Old West, owning every joint he walked into. His dark brown hat was low over his eyes, casting his face into shadows, and he moved as if every muscle in his body was primed and ready to pounce…on her.
She never dated. She was careful not to even look at a man in a way that might make him think an overture would be welcome, especially not when she was working and had a café full of cowboys. Men were trouble, dangerous, and a threat to everything that mattered to her, which was a very short list.
And yet, the moment he’d raised his head and looked at her, she’d felt herself falling into the depths of his steely blue eyes. He was pure male, loaded with testosterone. His clothes were old and worn. He was soaking wet. And…God…she couldn’t lie. He was insanely, irresistibly sexy. Sensual. Tempting. Every word she would never dare apply to a man had been rushing through her mind for the last hour.
He hadn’t said much, except to ask for a refill on his coffee and to thank her each time she refilled his water, but the way he spoke made chills rush down her spine. His voice was deep, almost melodic, filling her with a longing so intense that she wanted to sit down on the stool next to him, prop her chin up on her hands, and ask him to just talk for a while so she could lose herself in the magic of his voice.
Before he’d arrived, she’d been feeling sorry for herself, dreading festival week, and all the chaos and long hours it brought with it. If she didn’t need the money, she would shut down for the week and take Bridgette to all the events. Instead, she’d had to pawn her daughter off on her amazing neighbor, Martha Keller, who had become the grandmother that Bridgette would never have. Martha was the one taking Bridgette to all the events of festival week, while Lissa worked. Of course, it would be worth it when her bank account had enough money in it to make it through another slow winter, but on the first night, she always felt cranky, wondering how she’d ended up with this as her life.
But when her counter cowboy had shown up, he’d been a welcome distraction, drawing her out of her negative thinking and into the present. He made her think of a time when she’d thought life was full of opportunity and sunshine, before everything had crashed down around her. Plus, a little eye candy always made a girl’s day brighter, right?
The door jangled again, and she grimaced when she saw another group of competitors from the rodeo walk in. She was already at max capacity, and the crowd was getting boisterous and impatient with the slow service. Even if Katie was here, it would have been tough to keep up, but alone? It was impossible, and she knew it. It wouldn’t take much for word to get out about the Wildflower Café to the rest of the tourists and competitors. If tonight was a bust, no one would be coming back this week. Fear rippled through her at the thought of losing all that income. She desperately needed a profitable week. Desperately.
“Hey.” Her counter cowboy waved at her.
She hurried over to him, grabbing her water pitcher as she went. Sweat was trickling down her spine, but she knew she had to find a way to go even faster. “What’s up?”
“You got anyone in the kitchen watching those burgers while you’re out here?”
She spun around. “Why? Are they burning?” She couldn’t afford to burn them. Her customers had already been waiting too long. “I’ll go check—”
He stopped her with a hand on her forearm.
She froze, her belly flipping over. His hand wrapped all the way around her arm easily, but his touch was gentle, so gentle that she knew he wasn’t trying to trap her. She could pull away if she wanted…but she didn’t want to. “What?”
He gestured at the café. “There’s no way you can handle this alone. Want help?”
“Help?” She blinked at him. “Who? You?”
“Yeah. I can cook.” He still had his hand on her arm. “I’m too antisocial and bitter to socialize with the public, so I’m not waiting on tables, but I’ll flip some burgers.”
God, she needed help. There was no way she could manage both the customers and the cooking by herself tonight. A part of her wanted to throw herself over the counter, hug him fiercely, and then put him to work….but there was no way. “I really appreciate the offer, but I don’t even know you. I can’t have a stranger in my kitchen, but thanks.” She started to t
urn away, but he tightened his grip on her arm.
Her breath caught, and she looked at him. “Yes?”
He hesitated, emotions warring on his face. For a long moment, he said nothing, and she frowned, turning back to face him. “What is it?”
He flexed his jaw, his blue eyes fixed on her face. “You’re new to town, right?” he finally said. “You didn’t grow up here, did you?”
She blinked at the random question. “I’ve been here eight years. Why?”
Again, a long moment of silence, as if he were waging some massive internal debate about whether to speak. She leaned forward, her curiosity piqued while she waited.
Finally, he met her gaze. “You know Chase Stockton?” His voice was low, as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear.
“Chase?” He was all worked up about Chase? “Of course. He comes in here once a week. He supplies my pies when I don’t have time to bake them. Why?” But even as she asked it, his penetrating blue eyes took on new meaning. She’d seen eyes like his before. Exactly like them…on Chase. “You’re related to him, aren’t you? One of his brothers? Aren’t there like nine of you or something?”
His face became shuttered, but he didn’t pull away. “Yeah.” He said nothing else, waiting, watching her face.
“Oh, wow.” Relief rushed through her. Chase was one of the nicest guys she’d ever met. Yes, he was intimidating, but there was a kindness beneath the surface that was true and honorable. He’d helped her out on more than one occasion, and she adored his wife, Mira. She’d met his brothers, Steen and Zane, a couple times, and the loyalty between the brothers was amazing. Everyone in the family was incredibly kind, despite the fact that the men were tall, broad-shouldered, and more than a little intimidating when they walked into a room. “Which brother are you?”
He raised his eyebrows, still watching her warily. “Travis.”
“Travis Stockton.” She frowned, trying to remember if she’d heard anything about him, but she didn’t think she had. No matter. The fact he was Chase’s brother was enough, given the level of her desperation right now. “Well, if you’re as good a guy as Chase, then I trust you in my kitchen.”
Surprise flashed across his face. “Really?”
She hesitated. “Why? Is there something about you I shouldn’t trust?”
He paused, looking hard at her. “I’m completely fucked up in a lot of ways,” he said, his voice hard, almost warning her. “People in this town don’t like me.”
She raised her brows at his defensiveness. His face was dark and almost angry, and his fingers had tightened around her arm. Her heart turned over, and she wanted to hug him, because she knew what it felt like to suffer under a town’s disdain. It was a brutal, horrible way for a child to grow up, and the scars never went away, no matter how hard one tried. “Well, townspeople suck sometimes.”
He blinked. “What?”
She shrugged. “Does the fact that they don’t like you mean I can’t trust you in my kitchen?”
He stared at her for a long moment, then shook his head once. “No. It doesn’t.”
Of course it didn’t. “Then please, please, please help me out tonight. I’m desperate.”
A grin flashed across his face then, a smile that was so genuine that her chest tightened. “I’m on it.” He slid off the stool. “Give me the ninety second tour, and then I’ll be good.”
As he stood up, she realized how tall he really was. He towered over her, taller, wider, and so much stronger than she was. He was gritty and tough, a man who wouldn’t stand down from anything. She hesitated for a split second, suddenly nervous. Her kitchen was her sanctuary, her world, the only thing that had saved her eight years ago. Having Travis in there felt dangerous, like she was turning over her foundation to someone she barely knew—
He shoved open the kitchen door and disappeared inside, not waiting for a second invitation.
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Sneak Peek: Irresistibly Mine
In this moment, Blue knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted to help her. “Give me a chance to make it up to you, Chloe.” The moment he said her name, Chloe’s face softened, as if the sound of him saying her name had meant something to her.
Still watching him, she put the phone back to her ear, resuming the conversation with her friend. “Hi, Emma. Blue said that he’ll fix my car or drop me off, so I’m all set. But if he can’t fix it, I’ll need the name of a mechanic for the morning.”
Something inside Blue loosened when he heard her accept his offer, almost as if the chance to be with her for a little while longer made the tension inside him ease its relentless grip on his gut.
She listened for a moment. “Okay. I’ll stop at Wright’s for some food on the way. See you soon. And… Emma? Thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Her voice choked up, and Blue looked at her sharply. Her eyes were shiny, and she was gripping the phone so tightly that her knuckles were white. She cleared her throat, and nodded, clearly listening to something Emma was saying. “Right, I know. I’m fine. Really, I am. I’ll see you soon. Bye.”
As she hung up the phone, she closed her eyes, bowed her head, and pressed her phone to her forehead. She took a deep breath, and then another, as if she’d forgotten she wasn’t alone. Blue watched her, noting the paleness of her skin, and the way her shoulders were tucked up toward her ears ever so slightly, in the protective posture he’d seen many times when a newly rescued kidnap victim had hunched in the corner of the helicopter, unwilling to believe the nightmare was really over.
Instinctively, Blue walked over to her and crouched in front of her. “Hey.”
She opened her eyes and quickly lowered the phone, sitting up straighter in a posture clearly designed to make sure no one knew the weight she was carrying inside. She met his gaze for a split second, then her attention dropped to the beer he was holding. “Is that for me?”
Silently, he handed it to her, still watching her. “It’ll be okay,” he said. “Whatever the nightmare is, it can’t get inside you unless you let it.” Of course, he knew all too well about the damage nightmares could do, but just because he couldn’t shield himself from his own baggage didn’t mean he was unaware of how it could work if someone had their shit together better than he did.
She narrowed her eyes. “It’s that easy to let it go? Really? I had no idea.” She sounded a little annoyed, as if insulted he would reduce all her problems to some philosophical resolution.
He got that. He inclined his head in acknowledgment. “Theoretically, yeah, it’s that’s simple. In reality, it can eat away at you until you’re so dead on the inside that life stops mattering. Until all you can do is run as hard as you can, hoping that you can escape the darkness before it consumes you.”
She froze with the bottle of beer halfway to her lips, her eyes widening in surprise. Belatedly, he realized what he’d said and what he’d revealed about himself. Grimacing, he shrugged, and took a sip of his own beer. “Or so I’ve heard.”
Chloe angled the mouth of the bottle toward him as if pointing at him. “You, my friend, are a wealth of complexity, aren’t you?”
Blue grinned. “Nah. I drink beer. I shoot guns. And, after tonight, apparently I can add terrorizing women to my list. It’s pretty simple and basic. I’m just your normal, upstanding boy-next-door kind of guy. I’m exactly the type that mothers fantasize that their daughters will fall for.”
Her gaze flicked to his cheek, and he suddenly remembered the scar that bisected the side of his face. He never thought about it much. Who the hell cared about a scar? But Chloe was soft, gentle, and sensitive. What would she think about a six-inch scar that belied every claim he’d just made? The thought made him tense, and he didn’t like that. He didn’t like worrying about his scar, or what someone would think about it.
Scowling, he stood up and paced away from her. He leaned against the tiny kitchenette counter and folded his arms over his chest. “So, tell me, Chloe Dalton. Why were you b
arging into this cabin at ten o’clock at night in the first place?”
She raised her eyebrows. “I felt as though my life was too tame and predictable. I thought that getting the living daylights scared out of me would make my day more interesting.”
He felt himself grin again, but he was learning not to be surprised by the fact she could coax a smile out of him. “Any other reasons?”
She took a drink of her beer, wrinkling her nose as the bitterness drifted across her tongue. “First of all, you’re kind of nosy. Second of all, the beer is kind of horrible.”
He grinned wider, amused by her inability to school her face into impassive, neutral expressions. “You know, the problem with trying to avoid questions with me, is that I’m an expert on not telling anyone anything that I don’t want them to know, so I see right through that façade. So yeah, I’m nosy. Yeah, the beer sucks. But I still want to know what’s going on that made you show up at this cabin and sprint into it without checking to see if anyone was here.”
She cocked her head, studying him. “Why do you want to know so badly?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just do.”
She smiled then, a gentle smile that made him want to grin. “Fair enough.” Her gaze flicked away from him, drifting over the bare walls of the rustic cabin, before coming back to rest on his face. “In addition to losing my job yesterday, I also got evicted from the place I’ve been living in for the last ten years.”
Her voice was tight and calm, but he could instantly sense the depth of grief at her words, grief she was absolutely refusing to succumb to.
Respect flooded him, but also empathy. She was tough, refusing to be broken, but something really shitty had crashed down upon her. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine.” She shrugged, tracing her fingers over the condensation on the bottle. “I was a little desperate, so Emma said I could stay here until I figure things out, because it was empty.” She glanced at him, and cocked a sassy eyebrow at him. “She didn’t realize, however, that Harlan had given you the keys. That phone call I just answered? That was Emma calling to warn me that you were already living here. Of course, being the intelligent woman that I am, I had already figured that out.”