by Noir, Mila
“Maybe you can talk some sense into them. They’ve been at it an hour,” she said, reaching for some chocolates. I scooted over and took some myself.
“Oh, I like these. They have dried cherries and chili in them, right?” I asked, savoring the spicy sweetness. Tina nodded.
“I get them sent over from France. This little chocolatier makes them and the owner is this interesting older woman who—”
“Do you two mind? I’m sure the finer points of gypsy chocolates are fascinating but we’re having a serious discussion,” said Robert, glaring at us. I ate another chocolate and smiled. Tina did the same.
“I don’t know, if it’s more vampire politics, I’d much rather hear about the chocolate,” I said. Tina laughed.
“I told you I liked her, Robert,” she said.
“That’s because you’re both spectacularly good at getting on my nerves,” he grumbled. It was affectionate, though, and Tina grinned at me with a wink.
“He’s all bark. Vampires are often big softies,” she said.
“Zip it, shifter girl. He’s not kidding, this is serious,” said Dimitri. She stuck her tongue out at him but refrained from comment. I regarded them both dubiously.
“More serious than the psycho spider person who cut me up and the vampire council woman who paid him to?” I asked. They both blinked at me.
“Er, yes, mostly,” said Dimitri, looking at Robert. He threw up his hands in disgust.
“Fine. We were arguing about where to go for port and where we should head after to keep you safe. Dimitri thinks we should go to Greece and I think that’s a spectacularly bad idea given the current climate there. I think we should head back to France because I can protect all of us from there,” he said. I looked at them both.
“And I’m for Greece because it’s pretty there and we can get lost easier. People will expect us back in France. They know we both have networks and homes there. Friends,” said Dimitri.
“Well, if you’d kept Emma safe, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation,” said Robert, sounding like an adult version of a petulant child. I sighed.
“And if you weren’t such a domineering old ass, we could have been on our way hours ago!” From Dimitri. I looked between the two of them and realized something was very rotten in Vampireland.
“Something’s happened. Tell me,” I said flatly. They were both too agitated and grouchy for something bad not to have happened. They were avoiding telling me, which is why they were grousing with one another over something that couldn’t possibly be that important. Wherever we headed could only be temporary, and they both had to know there was nowhere truly “safe” besides the moon at this point.
They looked at each other, brows furrowed, mouths pinched. I got angry.
“If you’re debating whether you’re going to tell me what’s going on or not, I’m going to lose my shit. We’re past the point of you not trusting me. I’ve been cut up for all of this,” I said and brandished my arms. The marks were still an ugly pink-red, slashing against my pale skin, stark reminders of what I’d been through. They had the decency to look abashed but still didn’t say anything.
“Oh, for the love of little apples. There’s a war, Emma. A quiet one right now, being fought mainly with words. It’s been building for a while and you were the catalyst,” said Tina, getting up and standing with her tiny hands on her tiny hips.
“Tina, you shouldn’t—” started Robert. She waved a hand and shook her head sharply and he stopped, much to my surprise.
“Robert, I’m your assistant and your employee. But I’m also your friend. I’ve lost people in this stupidity that’s been going on for centuries. You know that. And the two of you are going to get Emma killed if you don’t knock it off. Tell her the rest,” she said and sat back down. She patted my hand and then downed several chocolates at once with a satisfied sigh. I looked at her and squeezed her hand. Whoever she had lost, I was sorry.
“Fine,” Robert said, looking weary. “The council was supposed to be the uniting body between the vampire families, elected representatives who would be as neutral as possible when it came to vampire politics. They would keep everyone in line and prevent squabbles or outright disasters like we’ve had in the past. There were times when it looked like we might go extinct because we couldn’t stop the infighting,” he said. He sat down and ran a hand through his immaculate hair, messing it up and making him look younger than he was.
“Our two families have had it in for each other for longer than either of us have been vampires. Our little…issue isn’t anything compared to how much the heads of our families hate each other,” Dimitri added, looking out over the water.
“It’s all been lost in the ether of time. The heads of our families are old. Very old. Their minds aren’t quite…” Robert shrugged.
“They’re completely batshit,” Tina offered. Dimitri and Robert scowled at her.
“She used to be a great and noble leader,” Dimitri said quietly.
“He used to be a dedicated and thoughtful figure,” Robert added.
“If I had to guess, they were probably once in love and something went horribly wrong,” I said. They both stared at me. Tina let out a peal of laughter.
“What?” I said, looking at all of them.
“Well…,” Robert said.
“Er…,” Dimitri offered.
“You pretty much nailed it, honey,” Tina said with a huge grin.
“Seriously? This is all because they had a break-up like thousands of years ago?” I asked. “You guys get to live forever, so you choose to hold grudges and act like you’re in some kind of undead soap opera?” This was ridiculous. I was fed up.
“If I got to have what you do, I wouldn’t waste it being petty assholes. You guys have totally forgotten how short life is. Which I guess makes sense, but it’s insane.” I went over to the side of the boat and looked out over the water, calm and a deep black-blue. The stars above us twinkled happily, as if nothing we did could ever bother them. The moon was high, casting a dull silver sheen over the world. I put my arms around myself, feeling cold and alone.
“It’s more complicated than that,” said Robert.
“You know, I find that I really don’t care,” I snapped.
“Emma,” he said, coming up behind me and laying a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.
“No. You don’t get to try and comfort me. This is all incredibly stupid. Your families are run by some millennia-old nutjobs who never got over their relationship problems, and I’m stuck in the middle because if I’m turned, I can…what…help one side beat the other? In some kind of pointless, endless war? How do you know when someone’s won in this kind of thing?” I asked, walking away.
“When one of the families is dead,” Dimitri said quietly. I stopped.
“What? Like…everyone wiped out? That’s the end goal here?” I asked, stomach sinking.
“Yes. Unfortunately,” said Robert.
“And you two have just been going along with this?” I demanded, ready to get super pissed.
“No, Emma. I may have…issues with Dimitri, but this is not what I want. I’ve been working hard for years to try and reconcile everyone. I’ve had less than the best success at it. And now I know why,” Robert said.
“Alexis,” I said. That had to be it. She’d been thwarting any kind of reconciliation or peace from behind the scenes. Dimitri stood next to Robert.
“Yes. She’s clearly the one who’s been keeping everyone at odds. I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I’ve known her a long time. I knew she was manipulative, but this? It never even crossed my mind,” he said.
“Or mine,” said Robert.
“Well, at least you two can agree on something,” I said. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. They won’t ever stop coming for me, will they?”
“No,” they both said.
“And Alexis isn’t working for either of your families. So who is she with?” I asked.
“Come on. You’ve told this much. I can take it,” I said.
“You might not believe us,” Dimitri said.
“Please. I’ve managed to believe there are vampires, werewolves, changelings, sylphs, and necromancers. You can’t shock me,” I said.
“She’s part of—” Dimitri began.
“House Dracul,” Robert finished.
“Wait. Dracul. As in…Dracula?” I asked. My eyes got big and I felt a hysterical laugh beginning to rise in my throat.
“Yes,” Robert said, eyeing me carefully. Dimitri was giving me a similar look, as though I might detonate, like a bomb.
I lost it. I howled with laughter. Tears streamed down my face, and my stomach ached with the strength of my laughs. I tipped my head back and let it all out, because it was too absurd not to be funny. At some point I sounded less like I was laughing and more like I was sobbing. The difference, as far as I was concerned, was minimal.
They were all looking at me very seriously when I finally stopped, though I continued to giggle a little every now and then when I thought about it. I had literally stepped into a novel.
Dmitri and Robert went on to explain vampire political history in even greater detail than I’d been given yet. As it happened, back in the day, the vampire council had been more of a parliament, with many representatives from various houses. Over the years most of the houses had dwindled, either becoming extinct through turf wars or simply from the erosion of time and the shift in vampire culture, which mirrored our own, just a bit more slowly. At its height there had been hundreds of them meeting each year to discuss their past, present and future. Given how Dimitri and Robert were at each other’s throats, I could only imagine the din.
Eventually the council had been appointed, a simpler, smaller, more efficient form of government. Or as near as they got to one. They’d set up certain rules of conduct and agreed to try and live with humanity as much as possible without exposing themselves, and things had more or less progressed from there.
More or less, because none of the old feuds had really ended and, since we now knew Alexis was working for House Dracul, there had clearly been a great deal of manipulation and pot-stirring going on for a long time. How long was unclear. Whether she had ever been part of the council for “noble” reasons was anyone’s guess. It turned out that what Robert and Dimitri knew of her was a very carefully constructed façade that the recent events involving me had shattered. What was underneath, however, was largely still a mystery.
One thing was clear: House Dracul was ready to make a major power play. The peace between the vampire houses had always been kind of tense, and it wouldn’t take much to throw it all into chaos. Ultimately each house wanted power of some kind and there were alliances, rivalries, and all sorts of complicated relationships to contend with.
There were five main houses, of which the two Dimitri and Robert were part of had hated each other a long time. House Dracul had been a dwindling, nearly extinct group for centuries, or so everyone had thought. The other two houses were sort of islands of their own, distrusting everyone, in particular the houses Dimitri and Robert were part of because of their never-ending feud. Which made a lot of sense to me, personally.
Then there were all the free agents. Many vampires today were aligned with no one and wanted no part of the council or any of the old-world-style governing that went on. They also didn’t like living in secret or not being allowed to kill humans. I understood the dislike of the political games but wasn’t overly fond of the killing people part, for obvious reasons. It always came back to that, though. Back to blood.
Over the years various humans had been used or attempted to be used to tilt the power balances one way or another. I wasn’t the only human who had ever exhibited an ability they coveted, which made me less special, something I really didn’t mind. Unfortunately, things never seemed to work out well for people like myself, though Dimitri and Robert left out the gory details. Suffice to say we often didn’t survive for very long or retain all our limbs.
“So, is there an actual Dracula anymore? Is he more like the Christopher Lee versions, or Klaus Kinski or Gary Oldman?” I asked, stifling any more mirth. I had a feeling Dimitri and Robert were about at their limit with human hilarity.
“No, he’s been dead a long time. Not a lot is known about him, even amongst other vampires. But his house lives on, claiming lineage, obviously. No one is sure if they actually have any or not,” Robert said.
“They’ve been coasting on the reputation and awe it inspires for centuries,” said Dimitri with disgust.
“I take it you’re not a fan,” I said.
“Please. Maybe old Dracul was the father of our kind and maybe he wasn’t. But his story getting out, the parts that involved our weaknesses and how to kill us, are a huge part of why we have to hide and live in fear,” he said.
“Well, that and you do eat people. I mean, you can see how humans might find that disturbing,” I said. He ignored me.
“I thought vampires went back to, like, the Bible and Cain,” I said.
“Who knows? We have our own creation myths and legends. You’ll even find some vampires who will claim to have been alive that long. There’s no way to know and it’s somewhat easy to make it up. There’s enough history widely available that someone educated about it can make a compelling case. But in the end it doesn’t matter. How we started is how we started. What matters is now and where we’re going,” said Robert.
“And that is?” I asked. I was starting to get goose bumps. The air suddenly felt heavy with purpose and meaning. As if we were heading towards some kind of apex.
“Toward a future where we can be who we are without fear of mobs or burnings or infighting. Where being what we are isn’t a cause for terror, but simply an evolutionary difference,” Robert said. I raised an eyebrow.
“That’s a nice sentiment, but it’s going to take some convincing. Human beings aren’t really known for their tolerance of things that can eat them,” I said.
“We have time,” he said simply.
“Good point.”
It was a long night. I knew dawn was approaching when I saw both Robert and Dimitri’s heads turn, in unison, towards the still-dark horizon. Their profiles, so different usually, were oddly similar in that moment. Something about that instinct had temporarily united them.
Personally, I yawned hugely and tried to hide it. My head was full of vampire history and politics, of centuries upon centuries’ worth of strife. It seemed to me like being undead offered no real improvement over some things. The politics were still convoluted messes that, boiled down, were generally petty and pointless. It made me sad.
“I think Emma’s had enough,” Dimitri said softly, looking at me with a fond smile. Tina had gone to bed hours ago so it was just me and the two of them. It hadn’t been as awkward as I’d thought.
“I’ll take her to her room,” said Robert, starting forward. Dimitri was fast on his heels.
“No, I can do it,” Dimitri said. So much for things not being awkward.
“You were with her last night,” Robert said. His face was blank but his eyes blazed. Clearly the proximity of everyone in this happy threesome was getting a little less happy as the days wore on. To be honest, I’d avoided thinking about it. It was up to the two of them to deal with their own jealousies. They were, after all, grown-ups, several centuries over.
“So? I didn’t realize we had a schedule,” Dimitri said, rolling his eyes.
“Excuse me,” I started, but neither man was paying attention.
“You know perfectly well we’ve been switching back and forth each night. It’s the only way to be fair,” said Robert, voice hard. Dimitri was getting angry in his own right and they faced off against one another like dogs sizing each other up. I wasn’t really in the mood for an alpha-off.
“I said, excuse me,” I tried again.
“You’re being greedy.”
“Well, you’re being pompous.”
“I thought you’d matured more in the last hundred years.”
“I have. I no longer take orders from the elderly.”
“Great, more age jokes. You sound like a twelve-year-old.”
“Seriously, excuse me…”
They kept bickering like little old ladies in a grocery store and I was starting to feel like the melon they’d been prodding. They weren’t talking about me like a person they cared about, but a thing they possessed. It killed any romantic mood I might have been in stone dead.
“EXCUSE ME,” I yelled, standing up. They turned, surprised.
“Good, glad I have your attention. You’d clearly forgotten I was even here. You know, the person you’re currently arguing over like produce. How about you ask ME who I want to spend the night with?” I said. They blinked, looked at each other, grumbled an apology, and then waited.
I took my time looking at them in the soft glow of the boat’s lights. It was a warm light, yellow, from underneath. It showed off their strong jaws, their chiseled cheekbones, the strength and power of both their bodies, one broad and tall, the other slighter but still fit. Dimitri had retained his suave, urban European look even on the high seas. Robert had opted for a more casual look, with white shirts and loose pants. They were both beautiful, manly, everything a girl wants who wants a boy.
“I’ll be spending the night with myself,” I said and left them gaping and staring after me.
It felt good.
As had been happening a lot since I met my two vampires, I had very odd dreams that night. Because of all the vampire history and politics that had been stuffed into my head, my dreams were not unsurprisingly full of teeth and tears, blood and war, long hallways that looked empty but were full of voices arguing.
I tossed and turned between dreams, never quite sure when I was awake or not. I felt like I was being in all directions at once and none of them were particularly appealing.