by Tina Moore
“You were such a good girl for me today, doing everything I asked you to on your list. Did you have a good night? Tell Mommy what you did,” I say as I gently grope your little body. I love the feel of your soft full skin under my hands. I could massage you forever. You tell me how you went to three take out places before deciding to get a burger from each one and how you went somewhere else to get your shake. You explain to me how not all chocolate shakes taste the same and how some places don’t make them chocolaty enough. You’re the expert, I haven’t had that shit for years, but that’s what you always order any chance you get. You tell me how bunny didn’t want to do any drawings tonight and that you watched one of Mommy’s movies until it scared you and you went back to watching your movies. You tell me how you used the new bath crayons to draw because you wanted to even though bunny didn’t. I listen and hold you close as you explain to me all your little girl dramas.
“My little teddy bear had such a big evening. She worked so hard and did all the big girl things didn’t she bunny,” I say holding bunny up and talking to her instead of you. You giggle and reach for her, and I put her in your arms as you nestle your head into me. You ask me how my night was, and I roll my eyes and tickle you.
“Mommy had a nice night, but I’m happy to be home with my sweet little teddy,” I say, pulling up your blankie and tucking you in. You roll off me and almost cocoon yourself in your blankie, but I pull you back into my arms, brushing your hair out of your face. You feel better than ever, and I rock you gently as you drift off to sleep. I stay up a little longer and reply to some emails but kiss you goodnight as I put my phone down before I close my eyes.
Wednesday
“Oh baby, it’s alright, Mommy is here, you’re just having a bad dream,” I say as you toss and turn in your sleep. I rub your back and gently shake you awake. You open your pretty eyes and look around fearfully.
“Mommy!” You say finding me and snuggle in close.
“Did someone have a bad dream little girl?” You nod your head and search around for bunny. I feel her under my pillow and hand her to you.
“Mommy is here. It’s OK baby, I’ve got you.” You roll back onto your tummy, and I pat your bottom until you are back asleep.
The next time you wake up, it’s to me rushing around the bedroom.
“I’m late. Why am I always late?” I say as I hurry to put on my heels. It’s your day off today, and you jump out of bed to make me breakfast. I love that you’re such a good helper for Mommy, especially on days like today.
When I come into the kitchen, you are looking very impressed with yourself. You’ve made our breakfast smoothies, and you’re lucky you’ve already tidied everything away.
“Here Mommy,” you say as you pass me my smoothie in a travel cup.
“So thoughtful little girl,” I say taking it and kissing you over and over until you are giggling for me to stop. Gosh, you look cute in your teddy bear onesie I’m going to be buying you more of those. I notice you haven’t started your smoothie yet and I take out your paci and lift your cup to your lips. You try to fuss, but I hold your chin in my other hand and look at you until you begin to drink.
“I need my baby girl to be strong and healthy little one. Mommy doesn’t want her sweet girl to get sick because she isn’t getting her vitamins.” You playfully roll your eyes at me, and I make myself a coffee. I wait for the machine to start and finish writing you your job list for the day.
“You’re going to need to get out of the house for most of the day today, baby. Mommy has a lot of things she needs you to do, and I want photos of each of the jobs being completed,” I say as you read over your list. You jump off the kitchen stool and go to your coloring in table and bring back your pink crayon.
“For ticking,” you say. I try to suppress a sideward smirk as I turn back to put sugar in my coffee. You are so cute.
“You’ll need to pick up the dry cleaning and a few more groceries, the list is attached, but you’ll have to go to a few different places to get everything on there. Also, I need you to return the books to the library; you can pick out some more if you’d like.” You love the library. I think it’s funny you like to borrow the books when I could buy them for you. I think you like the whole, scanning it yourself, element. It makes you feel very clever. You go to your bookshelf next to your coloring in table and bring all your books back to the kitchen bench. I’m secretly delighted you’ll be taking these books back, I’ve read them almost a hundred times to you, and I swear I know them by heart now.
You finish your smoothie and pass me your cup, and I give you your paci back, popping it in your mouth.
“Stay here, sweetie; Mommy will be back in a minute. I want to dress you in something cute today,” I say. I know if you had your way you’d stay in your jammies all day my cheeky little one. You nod while looking me up and down and I go back into my room and take out what I want you to wear. I select your denim ¾ overalls, a white t-shirt for underneath and your pink chucks. I grab your olive-green backpack to match and look inside. You’ve left a stuffie at the bottom of your bag you cute little thing.
“Here sweetie, come to Mommy,” I say coming back into the room. I walk to the living room, and you follow. I lay you down as I change you out of your diaper and into big girl panties and hold your hand as you step into your overalls. You look so cute as I roll up the hems and you hold onto my shoulder as you balance putting on your socks.
“Mommy, can you please tie my shoelaces?” You ask slipping on your shoes. I rest against the couch and look at you. I hold out my hand to you, and you take it as I pull you onto my thigh, making you straddle it. You smile at me bashfully, you love the feeling of my thigh between your legs, and I see you begin to blush as I move it under you making your panties rub on your clit.
“Mommy stop it,” you playfully say trying to grab my hands to get me to stop. I love playing with you; you’re so cute how you try to stop me. You should have learned by now that I’ll do whatever I want with you my sweet little girl. You’re giggling stops, and you move closer to me, letting me hold you, and you rest your head on the nape of my neck.
“I love you, baby,” I whisper in your ear. You snuggle further into me and I stroke your back never wanting to let you go. Eventually, I sit you up and bend down to tie your shoelaces. You look so sweet, and I stand you up as you put your hair up. I make a note to take you to the hairdressers next week to get your hair trimmed. It’s getting ever so slightly ratty at the ends, and you know I like my princess to look perfect at all times. You go back into the kitchen and put a packet of crackers and your water bottle into your bag as well as your sketch pad and pencils.
“When do you think you’ll have time to draw baby?” I ask, curious about what you’ll do today. You say on the train, and I remind you not to lose track of time. Last time you drew on the train, you missed your stop, and I had to come and get you. You laugh, and I pack you a muesli bar worried you hadn’t packed enough food.
“Ready?” I say as you head to the door. I know you’ve forgotten something, I can see it on the bench, but you nod your head confidently.
“Then why is the list of jobs you need to do still on the bench?” I ask making you laugh and run back into the kitchen. I hold the door open for you and slap your bottom as you pass me on the way to the car. You turn around and give me one of your cheeky smiles as you ponytail sways in the breeze.
I drive you to the station, and you kiss me goodbye. I take my time letting you go and slip my hands down the top of your overalls and play with your perfect tits.
“Be a good girl for Mommy and don’t forget anything on that list, sweetheart,” I say warningly. You kiss me and say adamantly that you won’t forget and walk to the train. I sit back in the driver’s seat and have to take a call from my assistant but make sure to wave goodbye to you as your train pulls away.
Throughout the day you send me texts with photos of the different things you have ticked off from your list. I know you�
��d much rather stay at home and wait for Mommy to get back, but I like you out and about. It’s good for you to move around the world and not just stay in your little bubble all the time. I give you enough of that as it is you, lucky girl.
As the day winds down and I begin to drive home, I think back to the time when we went on our first road trip. You had insisted that we listen to the latest 100 pop songs, and by the end of your playlist, I was ready to through your phone out the window. I love letting you drive me crazy like that. It was so much fun hearing you sing your little heart out to all the songs. You make my heart so full and happy to have you as my baby girl.
I slam the brakes on suddenly as I see your ball bouncing onto the street as I pull into the driveway. You run out onto the street and smile at me apologetically. Picking your ball up you bounce it back off the road and up to the garage door. I hope you’ve cleaned your toys away before you decided to play outside or you’ll be in so much trouble.
“Sweetie, are you trying to get yourself run over?” I say, grabbing my bag and shutting the car door. I walk over to you, and you look so sweet. You’ve clearly been shooting hoops for hours by the redness of your cheeks, and I kiss the top of your head and lead you inside. You bounce your basketball up the path, and I count to ten before I ask you to stop. I don’t want to be angry with you, but it’s so very annoying. You put the ball down by the front door and follow me inside, taking your shoes off and leaving them in the mudroom.
“How was your day? What did you do today?” You ask going to the fridge and taking out two bottles of water. You shake a water bottle in your hand, offering it to me, and I decline instead tilting my head to the whiskey cabinet, and you smirk knowingly.
“Are you doing your whiskey on Wednesday thing again?” You ask playfully as you inhale deeply. You love it as much as I do, but you won’t be getting any tonight. Tonight this is just for Mommy. I ignore your tease and wait for you to serve me my drink before playfully pulling you on top of me and letting you rest in my arms. You’re so dirty from playing outside, but tonight I don’t care I want you cuddling me now. You wrap your arms around me and watch as I take a sip of my drink. I can see you are still hoping you’ll get a sip. I shake my head no and smile as you look down disappointedly.
“My day was productive, but it was long, and Mommy had to keep telling people what do you, and you know how I hate to repeat myself,” I honestly reply. You open your bottle of water and drink half in one go.
“Thirsty girl,” I say as you shrug your shoulders. I love it when you start to enter your little space. Your big doe eyes following me around the room curiously, the way you become so sweet and dependent on me for everything, how you stop talking and use body language to communicate. It’s great when I’ve got a headache. You are easier to look after as a baby than you are when you're a big girl.
“My pretty baby girl so easily pleased and so happy to be a good girl for Mommy,” I say taking the water bottle away from you and leading you into the bathroom. I strip you down, and you pick out your favorite bubble bath scent. I honestly don’t know why we have anything other than strawberry and vanilla which you insist on putting together because that’s all you ever use. And yet, every time we go to the store you assure me that we need wild berry or watermelon or some other variety I know you won’t ever use. Some other Mommies have told me I spoil you but what’s the point of having such a sweet baby girl if I can’t spoil you? Of course, when you are naughty for Mommy, you’ve seen how mean I can be, so it’s always a good idea to be good for me.
I test the water before throwing in your duckies and help you in. I wash your hair, and you spend the better part of an hour trying to drown your duckies. I don’t know why you want to keep them under the water you’re like a kitty who wants to catch the mouse popping up in a box. When one duck reaches the surface, you push it back down just as another one comes to the surface and repeat. It’s cute watching you, though. I giggle at how into your game you get.
“Did you do everything Mommy needed you to baby?” I ask as I take your towel off the rack. It’s nice and warm from being heated all day. You look at me and nod your head as you point to my room.
“Is my dry cleaning hanging up in there sweetie?” I ask, and you smile and nod your head.
“Such a good girl getting everything Mommy needed princess,” I say pulling the plug on your bath. You look at me and pout but don’t say a word as I hold your towel open for you. I wrap you in your warm fluffy white towel and dry you off. You are a bit fussy tonight and want to cuddle me, making it difficult for me to dry you off.
“Come on; baby girl don’t be silly for Mommy. We can cuddle as soon as you are in your jammies, but I can’t let you stay in the bathroom forever.” I lead you to your nursery, and you go to sit in your reading corner with your big teddy and pillows. I take out your cute little fox onesie and black pacifier. I walk over to the changing mat, and you crawl to me. I love that you are Mommy’s little magnet when I am home. You lay down, and I rub lotion over your body, massaging you gently and almost putting you to sleep. By the time I am finished with you, and you open your little eyes again you are diapered and in your onesie, your white ankle sockies are on, and I’m lying next to you stroking the bridge of your nose.
“Come on darling Mommy is going to get you some dinner and then you can fall asleep in my arms, alright?” I say as I pull you to your feet. You stand for about two seconds and then fall back down on the floor and slowly crawl to the kitchen. I look down at you in your cute little tired state and decide I’ll carry you, so you feel loved. I don’t usually carry you, but tonight I can see you need it and Mommy always wants to give you what you need. You start to cry as I pick you up, and I stroke your hair as I hold you.
“It’s alright baby; Mommy is here. Let’s fill that little tummy of yours and then we can cuddle together on the couch or in Mommy’s bed alright?” I had planned to put you in your cot this evening, but that plan has gone straight out the window. I can see you need me tonight and putting you in your cot would only make your little heart hurt. You nod and try to wipe your tears away, but I come with some tissues when I bring your plate over. I sit by your side and feed you little mouthfuls. I know why you are so emotional tonight. You’ve had a big day outside with heaps of new situations that have scared you, new parts of town you had to find your way around, and I know that you are completely overstimulated from the day to the point where you are just breaking down from finding it all so stressful.
“I am so proud of you, sweetheart. I know you found today hard, I know it was new, but you did such a great job, and Mommy is so grateful you did those jobs for me,” I say wiping your tears away. I give you my finger to hold while I feed you with my other hand until you are finished. I didn’t even have to seduce you to eat your vegetables with ice-cream tonight, which shows how overwhelmed you are. You finish up, and I put your plate in the dishwasher and set you up on the couch. I bring you bunny and blankie and put on one of your favorite movies. I make a little bowl of popcorn for you and turn all the lights off, so your eyes don’t hurt. You smile at Mommy as I tuck blankie around you before I walk down the hall and into my bedroom.
I take my clothes off and feel the warm water on my body, happy you are content watching your movie. I’ll put on my most cuddly pajamas for you tonight, the soft ones you like to rub your face on when we cuddle. I accidentally shrunk the top, so my full chest pushes out against the buttons, and I think you like that.
When I come back to the couch, you haven’t touched your popcorn, but you reach for my breasts as a little gleam sparkles in your eye.
“Oh, feeling better are you miss?” I playfully say taking your bowl away and putting it on the bench. I don’t know why I even bothered to do up my top I’m already unbuttoning it again. I sit next to you and pull you onto me. You’ve lost all interest in the movie as you latch onto my nipple and begin nursing.
“My sweet girl just needs her Mommy, isn’t that right bab
y?” I ask as you close your eyes and get lost in milky happiness.
Thursday
I hear you playing before I see you this morning. I love that you constantly surprise me with what you are up to. I hear you giggling and talking to your stuffies. I think you’re in the living room. I don’t bother staying in bed late today and get up, showering and getting dressed before I come to find you. You hear my heels on the floorboards and you go quiet.
“Are you trying to hide from Mommy sweetie?” I playfully ask looking around the living room not being able to see you. You giggle, and I look behind the couch to see you two little feeties sticking out. I smile and turn around to make you breakfast.
“Oh well, who will eat this yummy yogurt if my baby isn’t here. I guess Mommy gets both. Maybe I’ll even sprinkle muesli on top to make it extra yummy and crunchy. But baby won’t be having any coz she isn’t here,” I tease making you pop your little head up from behind the couch.
“I’m here, Mommy!” You exclaim jumping up, and I act surprised like I hadn’t seen you 3 minutes before. You are just so sweet like that; I love it.
You crawl over to the kitchen table, and I lift you onto your stool and feed you as you set up your row of stuffies.