by C. L. Moore
ether, an insatiable need was upon her that could never be slaked. And a dreadful suspicion was taking shape in her mind. Adam in
his innocence could never have planned this. Had God known, all along? Had it been no error, after all, that Adam was created incomplete? And was this a punishment designed by God for tampering with his plan? Suddenly she thought that it must be. There would be no awe-inspiring struggle between light and dark such as she had half expected when God recognized her presence. There would be no struggle at all. She was vanquished, judged and punished all at a blow. No glory was in it, only this unbearable longing, a spiritual hunger more insatiable than any hunger the flesh could feel for the man she would never have again. She clove the airy heights above Eden for what might have been a thousand years, or a moment, had time existed in the void, knowing only that Adam was lost to her forever.
Forever? She writhed around in mid-ether, checking the wild, aimless upward flight. Forever? Adam still looked out across the Garden and called her name, even while he held that pale usurper in his arms. Perhaps God had not realized the strength of the strange unity between the man and the first woman in Eden. Perhaps God had not thought that she would fight. Perhaps there was a chance left, after all— Downward through the luminous gulfs she plunged, down and
down until Eden expanded like a bubble beneath her and the strong choruses of the seraphim were sweet again above the Garden. Adam and Eve were still beside the brook where she had left them. Eve on a rock was splashing her small feet and flashing blue-eyed glances over her shoulder that made Adam smile when he met them. Lilith hated her.
“Adam!” squealed Eve as the plunging Lilith came into hearing. “Look out—I’m slipping! Catch me! Quick!” It was the same croon Lilith had put into the throat of the body she had lost. Remembering how roundly and softly it had come swelling up in her throat, she writhed with a vitriolic helplessness that made the Garden dance in waves like heat around her.
“Catch me!” cried Eve again in the most appealing voice in the world. Adam sprang to clasp her as she slid. She threw both pale arms about his neck and crowed with laughter so infectious that two passing cherubs paused in midair to rock with answering mirth and beat each other over the shoulders with their wings.
“Adam. . . Adam. . . Adam—” wailed Lilith voicelessly. It was a silent wail, but all her heartbreak and despair and intolerable longing went into it, and above Eve’s golden head Adam looked up, the laughter dying on his face. “Adam!” cried Lilith again. And this time he heard.
But he did not answer directly. Association with women was beginning to teach him tact. Instead he beckoned to the reeling cherubs. Rosy with mirth, they fluttered nearer. Eve looked up in big-eyed surprise as the plump little heads balanced on rainbow wings swooped laughing toward her and poised to await Adam’s pleasure.
“These are a couple of our cherubs,” said Adam. “Dan and Bethuel, from over toward the Tree. They have a nest there. Tell her about the Tree, will you, boys? Eve dear, I’ll be getting you some fruit for breakfast. Wait for me here.”
She obeyed with only a wistful glance after him as the cherubs burst into eager chatter, squabbling a little as they spoke.
“Well, there’s this Tree in the middle of the Garden—”
“Tell her about the Fruit, Dan. You mustn’t—”
“Yes, you mustn’t touch—”
“No, that’s not right, Dan. Michael says you can touch it, you just can’t eat—”
“Don’t interrupt me! Now it’s like this. You see, there’s a Tree—”
Adam went slowly off down to the brook. A lie had never yet been spoken in Eden. He was hunting fruit. But Lilith saw him searching the dappled spaces between the trees, too, a certain wistfulness on his face, and she came down with a rustle of invisibility through the leaves.
“Adam. . . Adam!”
“Lilith! Where are you?”
With a tremendous effort Lilith focused her whole being into an intensity so strong that although she remained bodiless, voiceless, intangible, yet the strength of her desire was enough to make Adam hear her dimly, see her remotely in a wavering outline against the leaves, in the shape he had created for her. She held it with difficulty, shimmering before his eyes.
“Lilith!” he cried, and reached her in two long strides, putting out his arms. She leaned into them. But the muscular, light-sheathed arms closed about her and through her and met in empty air.
She called his name miserably, quivering against him through all her bodiless body. But she could feel him no more than he could touch her, and the old ache she had known in mid-ether, came back with a rush. Even here in his arms, then, she was forbidden to touch
the Man. She could never be more than a wraith of the air to him, while Eve—while Eve, in her stolen body— “Adam!” cried Lilith again. “You were mine first! Can you hear
me? Adam, you could bring me back if you tried! You did it once— you could again. Try, try!”
He stared down at her dim face, the flowers on the hillside beyond visible through it.
“What’s wrong, Lilith? I can hardly see you!”
“You wanted me once badly enough to bring me out of nowhere into the flesh,” she cried desperately. “Adam, Adam—want me again!”
He stared down at her. “I do,” he said, his voice unexpectedly shaken. And then, more strongly, “Come back, Lilith! What’s happened to you? Come back!”
Lilith closed her eyes, feeling reality pour marvelously along her bodiless limbs. Faintly now she could feel grass underfoot, Adam’s chest against her anxious hands; his arms were around her and in his embrace she was taking shape out of nothingness, summoned into flesh again by the godhood in this image of God. And then— “Adam. . . Adam!” Eve’s sweet, clear voice rang lightly among the
leaves. “Adam, where are you? I want to go look at the Tree, Adam. Where are you, dear?”
“Hurry!” urged Lilith desperately, beating her half-tangible hands against his chest.
Adam’s arms loosed a little about her. He glanced across his shoulder, his handsome, empty face clouded. He was remembering.
“Forsaking all others—” he murmured, in a voice not entirely his own. Lilith shuddered a little against him, recognizing the timbre of that Voice which had spoken in the silence. “Forsaking all others—” God had said that. “Forsaking all others but Eve—”
His arms dropped from about Lilith. “I. . . I’ll. . . will you wait for me?” he said hesitantly, stepping back from her half-real shape, lovely and shadow-veiled under the shadow of the trees. “I’ll be back—”
“Adam!” called Eve again, nearer and very sweetly. “Adam, I’m lost! Adam! Adam, where are you?”
“Coming,” said Adam. He looked once more at Lilith, a long look. Then he turned and ran lightly off through trees that parted to receive him, the glow of his half-divinity shining upon the leaves as he passed. Lilith watched the beautiful, light-glowing figure as far as she could see it.
Then she put her half-real hands to her face and her knees loosened
beneath her and she doubled down in a heap upon the grass, her shadowy hair billowing out around her on a breeze that blew from nowhere, not touching the leaves. She was half-flesh now. She had tears. She found a certain relief in the discovery that she could weep.
The next sound she heard—it seemed a long while after—was a faint hiss. Cloaked in the tented shadow of her hair, she considered it a while, hiccupping now and then with receding sobs. Presently she looked up. Then she gasped and got to her feet with the effortless ease of the half-material.
The serpent looked at her sidewise out of slanted eyes, grinning. In the green gloom under the trees he was so handsome that even she, who had seen Adam, was aware of a little thrill of admiration. In those days the serpent went upright like a man, nor was he exactly non-human in shape, but his beauty was as different from man’s as day is from night. He was lithe and gorgeously scaled and by any standards a suprem
ely handsome, supremely male creature.
All about him in shadowy outline a radiance stood out that was vaguely an angel shape, winged, tremendous. It invested the serpent body with a glow that was not its own. Out of that celestial radiance the serpent said in a cool voice:
“The Queen of Air and Darkness! I didn’t expect you here. What are you doing in that body?”
Lilith collected herself, hiccupped once more and stood up, the cloudy hair moving uneasily about her. She said with a grim composure:
“The same thing I suspect you’re doing in that one, only you’ll have to do better if you want to deceive anybody. What brings you to Eden—Lucifer?”
The serpent glanced down at himself and sent one or two long, sliding ripples gliding along his iridescent body. The angel shape that hung in the air about him gradually faded, and the beauty deepened as it focused itself more strongly in the flesh he wore. After a moment he glanced up.
“How’s that—better? Oh, I came down for a purpose. I have— business with Adam.” His cool voice took on a note of grimness. “You may have heard a little trouble in heaven yesterday. That was me.”
“Trouble?” echoed Lilith. She had almost forgotten the sounds of combat and the great battle cries of the seraphim in the depths of her own grief.
“It was a fine fight while it lasted,” Lucifer grinned. “Blood running like water down the golden streets! I tell you, it was a relief to hear something beside ‘hosannah’ in heaven for a change! Well”—he shrugged—”they won. Too many of them were fools and stood by Jehovah. But we gave them a good fight, and we took part of the jasper walls with us when they hurled us over.” He gave her a satisfied nod. “God won, but he’ll think twice before He insults me again.”
“Insults you?” echoed Lilith. “How?”
Lucifer drew himself up to a magnificent height. Radiance glowed along his scaled and gleaming body. “God made me of fire! Shall I bow down before this. . - this lump of clay they call Adam? He may be good enough for the other angels to worship when God points a finger, but he isn’t good enough for me!”
“Is that why you’re here?”
“Isn’t it reason enough? I have a quarrel with this Adam!”
“You couldn’t touch him,” said Lilith desperately. “He’s God’s image, and remember, you were no match for God.”
Lucifer stretched his magnificent, gleaming height and glared down at her.
“The creature’s made of clay. He must have a flaw somewhere. What is it? You know him.”
Lilith looked up at him speechless, a great excitement beginning to~ swell so tremendously in her that her half-formed body could hardly contain it. There was a chance! Cod himself had put a weapon straight into her hands!
“Yes, there is a flaw,” she said. “I’ll tell you. . . if you’ll give me a promise.”
“All right, I give it,” said Lucifer carelessly. “Tell me.”
She hesitated, choosing her words. “Your feud isn’t with Adam. He never asked you to worship him. God did that. Your quarrel is with God, not Adam. The Man himself you can’t touch, but God had given him a. . . a wife,” she choked when she said it. “I think there’s a weakness in her, and through her you could spoil God’s plan. But you must spare the Man—for me.”
Lucifer whistled soundlessly, lifting his brows. “Oh—?”
“I saw him first,” said Lilith defensively. “I want him.”
The serpent looked at her narrowly. “Why? No. . . never mind. I won’t quarrel with you. I may have an idea to suggest to you later, if a plan of mine works out. You and I together could make quite a thing of hell.”
Lilith winced a little. She and Adam together had had great prospects, once, too. Perhaps they still had—if God were not listening.
“You promise not to touch him, then?”
“Yes, I won’t hurt your precious clod. You’re right—my quarrel’s with God, not that animated lump of clay named Adam. What’s the secret?”
“Eden,” said Lilith slowly, “is a testing ground. There are flaws in it, there must be, or neither of us would be here. God planted a Tree in the middle of the Garden and forbade anyone to touch it. That’s the test. - . I think I see it now. It’s a test of obedience. Cod doesn’t trust man—he made him too strong. The Tree is the knowledge of Good and Evil, and God doesn’t dare let that knowledge exist in the Garden, because he controls Man only by Man’s ignorance of his own power. If either of them eats, then God will have to destroy that one quickly. You tempt the woman to eat, Lucifer, and leave Adam and Eden to me!”
The serpent eyed her sidelong. He laughed.
“If either of them fails in this test you’re talking about, then God will know neither can be trusted, won’t he? He’ll know their present form’s imperfect, and he’ll destroy them both and work out some other plan for the world.”
Lilith drew a deep breath. Excitement was rising like a tide in her, and the wind from nowhere swirled the dark hair in a cloud about her shoulders.
“Let him try!” she cried exultantly. “I can save Adam. God made a mistake when he put such power in the Garden. He shouldn’t have left it living, half-conscious of itself. He shouldn’t have let Adam know how close he is to the earth he was taken from. Adam and the Garden are one flesh, and the power of God is in them both. God can’t destroy one without the other, and together they are very strong— If they defied God together, and I helped them—”
Lucifer looked at her, a trace of compassion on his handsome, reptilian face.
“God defeated me,” he reminded her. “Do you think He couldn’t you?”
She gave him a proud glance. “I am the Queen of Air and Darkness. I have secrets of my own, and powers not even God can control. If I join them with Adam’s, and the Gardens. . . . God made the Garden alive and powerful, and Adam is one flesh with it, each incomplete without the other as Man is without woman. Adam has Eve now—but when Eve’s gone he’ll remember Lilith. I’ll see that he remembers! And I’ll see that he understands his danger. With my help, perhaps he can avert it.”
“If God destroys Eve,” said Lucifer, “he’ll destroy Adam, too. They’re one pattern.”
“But he may not destroy them at the same time. I’ll gamble on that. I’d kill her myself if I could, but I can’t touch anything in the Garden without its own consent. - - - No, I’ll have to wait until Eve proves to God her unfitness to wear flesh, and while he punishes her I must seize that moment to rouse the Garden. It’s almost aware of itself already. I think I could awaken it—through Adam, perhaps. Adam and Eden are almost one, as Adam and I will be again if we can get rid of Eve. None of us separately has the power to defy God, but Eden and Adam and I together might do it!” She tossed back her head and the wild dark hair swirled like a fog about her. “Eden is an entity of its own—I think I could close a shell of space around us, and there are places in my Darkness where we could hide even from God!”
Lucifer narrowed his eyes at her. “It might work,” he nodded slowly. “You’re mad—but it might work, with my help. The woman is beautiful, in her way—” He laughed. “And what a revenge on God!”
“The woman,” mused Lilith, “is in my body, and I am evil. . . . I think enough evil remains there that Eve will find you—interesting. Good luck, Lucifer!”
In a hollow, velvety cup in the Garden’s very center the two Trees stood. One at the edge of the clearing was a dark Tree, the leaves folded like a cloak about a pale glow from within where the Fruit of Life hung hidden. But in the center of the hollow the Tree of Knowledge flaunted its scarlet fruit that burned with a flame almost of their own among the green and glossy leaves. Here was the heart of the Garden. Out of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil the beat went pulsing that shook the air of Eden.
Eve set one small, bare foot upon the downward slope and looked back timidly over her shoulder. The serpent flicked a forked red tongue at her. His voice was cool and clear, and sweet as honey.
“Eva,” he
said softly. “Eva—”
She smiled and went on, he rippling after her with an unearthly beauty to his gait that is lost forever now. No one knows today how the serpent walked before the Fall. Of all human creatures only Eve knows that, and there were things Eve never told Adam.
They paused under the shadow of the tree. In long, slow rhythms the air went pulsing past them. Eve’s fair hair stirred a little, so strong was the rhythm here. All the Fruit of the Tree pushed out among the
leaves to see her, and the nearer branches bent caressingly toward this woman who was of the flesh of Adam.
The nearest branch stooped down enticingly. Eve reached for a scarlet apple that dipped into her hand. Almost of itself it snapped free of the twig that held it. Eve stared at the apple in her palm, and her hand began to shake. She drew back against the serpent, a little whimper of terror rising in her throat.
The serpent dropped a coiled embrace about the lovely, light-clothed pallor of her body and bent his handsome, slanted head to hers, whispering at her ear in a voice so cool and sweet that the terror faded from her face. She smiled a little, and her hand steadied.
She lifted the Fruit of Knowledge to her lips. There was a hush. all through the Garden as she hesitated for a long moment, the red fruit at her red mouth, her teeth denting the scarlet cheek of Knowledge. The last few timeless moments stood still while innocence yet reigned over Eden.
Then the serpent whispered again, urgently: “Eva—” he said.