The Training Master

by Mark Crilley

  “No!” I cried back to him. “We can’t give up! It’s not too late!”

  “But ’Kiko—”

  “Just swing me over to the cruiser! You can pull me up once we’ve rescued the training masters!”

  Spuckler gave me a doubtful look but did as I asked. By swinging the rope back and forth, he got me to within a yard or two of the cruiser. By the third try, I was able to grab hold of a girder.

  GREEEEeeeeeeeeee

  ROOOOOoooooooooo

  Things were bad and getting worse. The one remaining connector was already severely twisted and was weakening with every move the Canyon Cruiser made.

  I groped my way back to the half-finished hole in the roof, reached into my pocket, and fired up Gax’s torch. Plunging it toward the spot where I’d left off, I completed the circle and carefully pushed it inside. There was a loud clank as it landed somewhere on the interior of the Canyon Cruiser. I stuck my head through. There, huddled against the far end of the car, were all twenty-one of the training masters. Chibb Fallaby stared at me with his mouth open wide.

  “She …,” he said, “… she didn’t give up.”

  “Of course she didn’t give up,” said Odo Mumzibar with a grin. “She’s no quitter.”

  “Well, come on!” I said. “Don’t tell me you want to stay in here!”

  They definitely didn’t. Crawling up the floor of the cruiser, the training masters thanked me again and again. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” I said. “The important thing right now is for all of us to get out of here.”

  I grabbed the hand of one of the training masters (a three-fingered hand with big lumps on the knuckles) and pulled him halfway through the hole. “Don’t worry about hurting me. Just get on my shoulders and climb up the rope.” He did as I asked. Two more of them got out the same way. I glanced up and watched as the first one climbed onto the top of the cable and received an enthusiastic greeting from Mr. Beeba. All right, I thought. One down, twenty to go.

  Slowly but surely all the training masters climbed out of the Canyon Cruiser and made their way up the rope. Before long, I was helping the second to last—a wrinkled old guy with a long white beard—out of the hole. Only one training master remained: Chibb Fallaby.

  GREEEEeeeeeeeeee

  ROOOOOoooooooo

  A shudder ran through the cruiser. The last connector was beginning to fail.

  GREEEEeeeeeeeeee

  ROOOOOoooooooo

  Time was running out. I grabbed the old training master by the waist and pulled him out. “Quickly!” I shouted. “Quickly!”

  The old man scampered onto my shoulders, then pulled himself up the rope. As he did, an earsplitting screech erupted from the last connector.

  KREEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  It was about to snap. There was no doubt about it.

  “Come on!” I said to Chibb, who was still making his way up to me. As he put his hand in mine, a sudden gust of wind tossed the Canyon Cruiser into the air. I lost my grip and Chibb tumbled to the bottom of the car.

  “Beeba!” I heard Spuckler cry. “Hold this!” He was trying to get Mr. Beeba to take over the rope-holding duties, which at this moment meant carrying the second-to-last training master as well as me. Would Mr. Beeba be able to support the weight?

  “But Spuckler—”

  “No buts!” Spuckler grabbed one of Mr. Beeba’s hands and clamped it around the rope. “C’mon, fellas!” he hollered to the other training masters as he crawled across the cable to the top of the last connector. “We gotta shore this thing up before she blows!”

  Spuckler and all the able-bodied training masters climbed down the connector and turned themselves into living support beams, one hand clutching a girder above, one grasping a support beam on the roof of the Canyon Cruiser. It was nothing more than a stopgap measure, something to buy Chibb and me another few seconds.

  “All right, Chibb!” I shouted. “It’s now or never!”

  There, shaking and whimpering at the bottom of the car, was Chibb Fallaby. He had knocked himself in the head during his fall and was now in a daze. There was a glassy look in his eyes, and he had pulled his knees all the way up to his chest. “I’ll never be a real training master,” he was saying to himself over and over.

  A real training master? Chibb’s not a real training master?

  It didn’t matter.

  “Chibb, you’ve got to move!” I cried. “I can get you out of this thing if you’ll just climb up here!”

  No response. He was totally out of it. It was as if he hadn’t heard a word I’d said.

  KREEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  The connector was twisting, turning, pulling Spuckler and the training masters back and forth as it began to give way altogether.

  “Chibb!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “Don’t flimp on me! Get off the floor and climb up here! Now!” For an instant I was thrust into the role of training master, urging this quivering young man to pull himself together and give his all. “I … said … now!”

  This seemed to snap Chibb out of his stupor. He looked around for a moment, recognizing where he was and what was at stake. A look of strength and determination returned to his face, and—with surprising speed and agility—he climbed the steep slope of the Canyon Cruiser floor and thrust his hand into mine.

  BAM!

  BAM!

  BAAAAM!

  The last connector splintered into fragments. There was nothing holding the Canyon Cruiser up but the tensed muscles of Spuckler and the training masters. Poog shot down and positioned himself beneath the far end of the cruiser, providing a crucial last bit of support.

  Chibb leaped out onto my shoulder as …

  “Nnnnnnnggggh!”

  “Aaaaarrrrrggggghh!”

  … Spuckler and the training masters all lost their grip. The Canyon Cruiser tipped back off Poog and tumbled, end over end …

  … end over end …

  … end over end …

  … straight to the bottom of Virpling Canyon.

  I watched with a strange feeling of satisfaction as it struck the ground and vanished in a cloud of orange dust.

  Chapter 21

  We all made our way across the top of the cable and back to the boarding station. We were nearly smothered by the reporters and photographers congratulating us and asking questions in about a dozen different languages. Mr. Beeba spoke on behalf of all of us, telling them that for the moment the most important thing was to get back to Zarga Baffa and make sure all the training masters were in good health. The Yorbians thanked us again and again, promising gifts and statues in our honor.

  We returned to Zarga Baffa. When we arrived, there was a big crowd waiting for us: trainees, training camp employees, and a small group of doctors ready to examine the training masters. Everyone cheered as we emerged from the ship. Well, everyone but Dregger and his crew, who would have been green with envy except that they were all green to begin with.

  Spuckler, Gax, Mr. Beeba, Poog, and I were allowed to wash up and rest awhile in the Zarga Baffa bathhouse. It was the first warm water I’d touched in days, and soaking in it was pure heaven. I’d have stayed there all day if they had let me.

  A few hours later, though, we were all escorted to a part of the Zarga Baffa complex we’d never seen before: a large, brightly lit space with a big, long table, a couple dozen chairs, and hardly anything else. After a minute or two we were joined by Odo Mumzibar and six of the most senior training masters. Chibb Fallaby was not among them.

  “Good afternoon,” said Odo Mumzibar. “First of all, I want to offer all of you our deepest gratitude for the stupendous efforts you made this morning. Truly it was one of the greatest rescue missions I have ever been party to, and, it must be said, the only one in which I have been among those being rescued. We owe the five of you a debt that can never be properly repaid.”

  “Ya could start with some good food, though,” Spuckler said, and I kicked him hard in the leg.

  “Neve
rtheless,” Odo Mumzibar continued, “you have put us in a rather difficult position. A number of your activities this morning were entirely illegal, even if we apply the very loosest interpretation of Zarga Baffa rules. Stealing rocket ships, leaving the training camp without permission …” He paused and raised an eyebrow at Spuckler. “… dancing with security guards.” Spuckler turned a deep shade of red. “As grateful as I am to you for having rescued all of us, I am compelled to point out your disregard for Zarga Baffa procedure. I am torn between congratulating you on a job well done and punishing you for the reckless way in which you did it.”

  He paused for a very long time, staring each of us in the eye for a good second or two. “However, there are certain aspects of this case that bear consideration.”

  He leaned forward in his chair, staring deeply into the surface of the table.

  “First there is the matter of Chibb Fallaby. As you are probably now aware, he is not a true training master. Not yet.” He kept his eyes on the table for a moment, as if he hoped to find the words he wanted to say written somewhere upon it.

  “Full training master status was to be conferred upon him within the year. When the Smoovian king asked that you and your friends be included in this year’s class of trainees, we were caught short. Rather than send you away, we granted Fallaby honorary training master status for the duration of your lessons.” He paused for a deep sigh, then continued. “One could argue that his inexperience played a part in your willingness to dispense with Zarga Baffa rules.”

  He raised his eyes to mine for a moment, shook his head ever so slightly, then spoke. “There is one further matter.” He turned and called to someone waiting outside the doorway. “Miss Kayooli, you may enter now.”

  Raspa entered the room. She wore an angry frown and shuffled across the floor in long, slow steps that suggested she would rather be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

  Odo Mumzibar regarded Raspa for a moment, then waved his hand at her, as if she were an actress who had forgotten her lines. “Your apology.”

  “I …” Her eyes moved around the room, carefully avoiding mine. “I’m sorry, Akiko.”

  “Go on,” said Odo. “Tell her what you did.”

  “I lied to you about Chibb Fallaby.” Raspa’s eyes went to the ceiling. “It wasn’t Chibb’s brother who got sick on the planet Earth. It was my brother. I’m the one who hates Earthians, not Chibb. I was trying to trick you into crying blue.”

  I shot a startled glance at Odo Mumzibar, who nodded, assuring me that it was all true.

  “There’s more,” he said to me, then turned to Raspa. “Isn’t there?”

  “Yes.” There was a quaver in her voice. I could tell she really didn’t want to go on but was forcing herself to spit the words out. “I fired a dart into the nognag you were riding the other day. That was … that was what made it go crazy.” Raspa closed her mouth. I think she’d reached the limits of what she could say without bursting into tears.

  Odo Mumzibar tossed a clear plastic bag onto the table. It contained Raspa’s little red dart gun. “Raspa is a very able student. It’s a shame she wasted her abilities on such a petty scheme.” He raised his eyes to meet mine. “Do you have anything to say to her, Akiko?”

  I looked at Raspa. I actually felt a little sorry for her. She had suffered a lot because of what had happened to her brother. She didn’t need me adding to her pain.

  “Yes,” I said. “I accept your apology, Raspa, and I hope that you won’t be expelled because of what you did.”

  “You are generous, Akiko,” said Odo. “We will take your thoughts into consideration when it comes time to decide Raspa’s fate.” He nodded at Raspa, who bowed and left the room. Once she was gone, Odo turned to face me one last time.

  “As for you and your friends,” Odo said, “it is the opinion of this council that the rules you broke this morning are more than compensated for by the valor and selflessness with which you performed the mission. There will be no punishment for the rules broken, and you will be allowed to continue your training.” He gave us all a very severe look and raised a finger. “If you can refrain from breaking any more Zarga Baffa rules, I see no reason why you all shouldn’t graduate within the normal allotted time.” He paused, then asked, “Any questions?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Will Chibb Fallaby still be our training master?”

  Odo smiled at my question. “Do you want him to be your training master?”

  I looked around and saw that all eyes were on me. Were they putting me in charge of such a big decision? Definitely not. I was simply being asked my opinion. One thing’s for sure, though: everyone was very curious to hear what I would say.

  “Yes,” I said. “I do.” I was still angry at Chibb about a few things. A lot of things, actually. But I wanted to finish what I’d started with him, one way or another.

  “Interesting,” said Odo. “Go to the Gathering Plaza. Your training master is waiting for you there.” He then brought the meeting to a close.

  When we got to the Gathering Plaza, there was Chibb, smiling and brimming with confidence. He explained that Odo Mumzibar had decided to delay his transition to full master status, but only by a few months.

  As for our rescue mission at Virpling Canyon, Chibb only spoke of it once, then never brought the subject up again: “Thanks for saving me, Akiko. I’d be a dead man right now if not for you.”

  “You’re welcome, Chibb.” I grinned. “I wasn’t going to let you get out of being my training master that easily.”

  Chibb laughed, then adopted a mock-serious tone to do his best impersonation of me: “Don’t flimp on me! Get off the ground and climb up here!” He gave me a wink. “Better watch yourself, Akiko. You’ll end up being a mean old training master like me.”

  Chapter 22

  The rest of our stay on Zarga Baffa went pretty smoothly. I’m not saying it was easy. Far from it. The second half of Humbling Week was, if anything, even worse than the first half. But by that time I’d developed a pretty thick skin. If I had a bad lesson, I had a bad lesson. It was no biggie; I just moved on to the next one and tried to do better. And I did do better. By the end of the second week I was getting mostly D’s and F’s.

  The third week was when we became advanced trainees, which meant we could finally sleep in real beds, eat delicious food, and get as much rest and relaxation as we needed. It was as wonderful as I’d imagined it would be, and then some. The lessons also changed. They were no longer about testing our endurance but about learning useful skills: laser beam target practice, alien first aid, how to recognize mutant Gorglezogs disguised as innocent bystanders. I was pretty good in all my classes, but I was especially good in a class called Intergalactic Conflict Resolution. Spuckler and Mr. Beeba had given me a lot of practice in that department.

  On our last night there was a big dinner for all the graduating trainees, and everyone in the whole Zarga Baffa complex was there, even Grunn Grung, who sat in a shadowy corner of the room, sipping sludge from a bucket. Spuckler, Gax, Poog, Mr. Beeba, Chibb, and I all sat at one table. At one point the Yorbians showed up. They kept coming to our table and thanking us. One of them gave me a gift: a small jar full of orange goo. (They said rubbing it on my belly would fortify my microintestine. I told them I was pretty sure I didn’t have a micro-intestine, but they didn’t believe me.)

  After the dinner was a brief graduation ceremony. We were all given diplomas certifying us as official Zarga Baffa space patrollers and declaring that we were fit to take part in any and all adventures throughout the universe. If those adventures involved having to make muzzlegup sandwiches while piloting rocket ships, so much the better. I wish King Froptoppit could have been there. I wanted to see the expression on his face when he learned that the planet Smoo finally had its own crew of certified space patrollers.

  The next morning we joined the training masters and all the other trainees back at the platform where we had first arrived. A shiny new astroshuttle was waiting th
ere to take us back home.

  Before I boarded, Chibb Fallaby took me aside and shook my hand.

  “Good luck on all your future adventures, Akiko,” he said. “I know you’ll make all of us here at Zarga Baffa very proud.”

  “Thanks, Chibb. And good luck to you on becoming an official training master.” I didn’t want to admit it, but I’d learned a lot from him. He’d pushed me so hard I ended up seeing parts of myself I’d never seen before. Good stuff. Ugly stuff. The whole shebang. “You’re …” I wanted to say something nice to him, but after everything he’d put me through, it was pretty much impossible. “You’re a really tough teacher.”

  He smiled. “Oh yeah? Well, you, my friend, are one hardheaded, stubborn little cuss of a student.”

  I had to laugh. “You bet I am.”

  The flight back to Earth was a lot of fun. We chatted with all the other passengers about what we’d do when we got back home, what sorts of food we missed having while we were away, and all the adventures we hoped to have in the future.

  When we got to the roof of the Fowlerville mall, there was the Akiko robot waiting for me. It was exactly three weeks later, and this time she was at the mall with my best friend, Melissa.

  “You’d better hurry,” the robot said to me as I jumped out of the astroshuttle and we switched places. “I told Melissa I was going to the bathroom. That was about half an hour ago.”

  “You’ve got to come up with a better plan next time. What am I going to tell her?”

  “Don’t worry,” she said with a wink. “You’re getting really good at this. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”

  “See ya, ’Kiko,” said Spuckler. “Don’t go on any adventures without givin’ us a holler first.”

  “What,” I said, “and miss seeing who you choose for your next dancing partner? Not a chance.”

  The astroshuttle driver barked something at us. We’d have to cut our goodbyes short.