“She giggles and says, 'Wrong. Little baby doesn't get no num-num.'
“She turns and I can see a fist-sized brown birthmark on her left butt cheek.
Rod’s hands almost crushed hers.
Ann stretched the muscles in her hands and Rod eased the pressure. She went on, “The man springs to his feet, and says, 'Big baby takes his num-num where he wants it, 'cause it's just what she wants.' They like rough sex.”
Ann looked at Rod. “I don't want to watch this any more.”
Rod said, “You started this. Keep going.”
“There is no need.”
Rod let go of her hands and went to stand with his back against the tree trunk. “So she was unfaithful. I think I always knew that,” he said, looking out across the sound. “It’s not news to me that she was bored stiff here. I just didn’t think – I hoped that she loved me enough …”
“I’m sorry,” Ann said.
“Who is he?” he asked, his voice coming from a long way off.
“You know who.”
Ann looked toward the dock, leaving Rod with his thoughts. She could see what went on and it was nothing that Rod couldn’t imagine.
Rod rubbed his face and came to stand by Ann. “Is this over?”
“Their sex is over,” Ann said. “Take my hands.”
Rod put his in hers and stared at the dock, which was empty for him, but not for Ann. She said, “They sit on the dock, the woman reaches for her top and puts it on. The man is sitting naked on the dock. She says, 'So maybe it would be good if Roddy came home and found us like this.'
“The man’s anger flares. He says, 'What are you saying?'
“’I don't like rubbers, either.'
He says, 'You're not taking birth control. Wouldn't be too good to come up with a light-haired baby.'
“She says, 'Don't worry about it. I'm not going to have anybody's baby. Rod's or yours.'
“He says, 'Then take birth control.'
“She says, 'Rod doesn't want me to. He's under the illusion that I want to have his kid.'
“The man says, 'You two are having sex, aren't you?'
“She says, 'When I have to, but there's the morning-after pill.'
“He says, ‘Rod will get the picture pretty soon.'
“She says, 'Rod's going to get the picture when he gets home.'
“The man is very alarmed. He says, 'What are you saying exactly?'
“She says, 'I've made my decision.'
“His face is red. He says, 'Don't do this.'
“She says, 'I'm going to leave Rod.'
“He jumps up. 'You don't mean that, Carmen. Tell me you don't mean that.' He's putting a leg in his trousers.
“She says, 'I'm going to tell him about us.'
“He grabs her wrist and pulls her to her feet, and says, 'You'll do no such thing.'
“She screams, 'I love you. I don't love him. I love what we do together. I want you. I don't like this sneaking around.’
“He says, 'You used to. You said it was what made the whole thing so much fun.'
“She says, 'Well, I've changed my mind. I want you in my bed at night.'
He says, “Yeah until you get tired of me.'
“She says, 'Look who gets tired, too. We’ll have what we have as long as we want it.’
“He says, “Carmen, forget this.'
“She says, 'Too late. I've made up my mind.'
“The man is pacing, pulling on his shirt. He says, 'You don't know what you're talking about.'
“She says, 'You said you love me.'
“He says, 'I do, but Jesus. Rod's a good guy. He's crazy about you. We'd make a mess of him, and in the process ourselves.'
“She fastens the bikini bra, and says, 'My mind's made up. I'm going to tell him tonight.'
“He says, “No you're not. Stop this nonsense. You love Rod.'
“She says, 'Maybe I did, once. I can't stand birds and turtles, and his whole thing bores the living shit out of me.'
“He says, 'Don't do this.'
“She says, 'Think of it darling boy. You and I, we can marry. We'll live in Manteo. You can have your choice of jobs there. Maybe even Norfolk. It's not that far from Manteo. The drive would be the same as you have now.'
“He’s very angry. 'No, Carmen.'
“She says, 'If it's Rod finding out about you and me that's got your undies ripped up, don't let it bother you. I'll be the bearer of bad news.’”
Ann winced and gently squeezed Rod’s hands. “He takes a wild swipe at her with his palm open.
“She cries out, 'What?' and jumps back and falls. She hits her head on a dock post, bounces on her buttocks and hits her head on the edge of the dock, then falls into the sound.”
Rod shuddered and closed his eyes.
Ann said, “He stands on the dock and waits for her to come to the surface. She doesn't, and then he jumps into the water. It's about chest high. He fishes with his legs for her and then his head goes under. It comes up and goes down again. I can read his face, and it seems he can’t understand what happened to her. Finally, he comes up with her. She is limp and heavy. It’s hard work, but he gets her into the boat and rolls her on her back and pushes on her chest. Then he gives up and stands and looks up at the sky. Sadness, fear and dread are written on his face. He balls his fists. He starts the boat, chugs out onto the sound and it looks like he's doing something on the console. Whatever it is, the boat roars away and he dives overboard. He surfaces and watches as the boat zigs and zags in a mad pattern out on the sound. Suddenly the hull rises, the stern sinks and the boat does a back flip. He wades to shore, and inspects the boathouse. There's blood there. He takes off his wet shirt and drags it into the sound and washes the side of the boathouse and the deck. He puts it back on.
“He stands on the boat dock for a moment. He salutes, and says, 'Goodbye Carmen.” He salutes like a Boy Scout. “This is for Roddy.' He runs from the dock and disappears through the oaks.
--
Rod hit his fist on the tree trunk.
Ann touched his back. “I'm sorry Rod.”
He whirled on her. “Are you? What are you trying to do to me?”
She reached out for his hand, but he stepped back. She said, “You wouldn’t be happy until you knew.”
“And now I'm supposed to be happy?”
“Happy was not a good word choice. Satisfied, perhaps.”
“Why was it so important that you have this vision, or whatever it is?”
“Because it's haunting me, and you and Spence. It’s Spence’s guilt that I see every time I’m around him. I think I remind him of you and the horrible scene plays in his mind.”
“And you expect me to believe that the scene then jumps into your mind.”
“I can’t expect you to believe anything you don’t have in your soul to believe.”
“My soul.” He shoved hair off his forehead. “And now?”
“I don't know how I feel. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry that the truth is so awful.”
He shouted, “I don't know the truth – any more now than when you started speaking like a seer looking into a crystal ball.”
“It happened, I'm sorry, but it happened.”
“What color was the boat?” He’d sounded like a man desperate to find a flaw in the story.
“White with a turquoise stripe down the side.”
“What kind of boat was it?”
“I think a Boston Whaler.”
She wondered if Rod would ever move from the spot where he stood rooted like the oak tree. She said, “That was your boat, wasn't it?”
He didn't say anything. Looking out across the sound, he had that thousand yard stare people talk about.
Ann said, “He killed your wife, Rod. It was an accident, but he should have called the authorities.”
“No.” He put his head in his hands.
“You didn’t need me to show you that she was cheating and who with. But you needed to know how she died.”
/>
“I’ll tell you what I don’t need right now. You in my life.”
She walked toward the dock. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “Carmen has a brown birthmark, doesn't she? And she owned a white bikini with red polka dots.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “What do you want me to do?”
“It's up to you.”
He closed his eyes as if seceding from the decision. When he opened them, his face was tight with antagonism. “Thanks for solving all the mysteries in my life. Now go have a nice life – as far away from me as possible.”
“You don't mean that.”
“You come into my life and turn everything upside down. First you raise my poor ancestor from the dead, and, as a coup de grace, consign my best friend to my own personal hell.”
“You mean it, don't you? You want me gone.”
His body was taut and he looked fierce. “I mean it.”
She looked over the sound, immobilized by pain burgeoning like a mushroom.
Aware at last that he had slipped away, she fell to the ground and let the damp sandy soil bite into her cheek.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
--
Ann checked into the Seashore Suites for the last time. She unpacked what she would need for the night, put the bottle of gin on the dresser, stared at it for a while, and then laughed as if it were the funniest joke she'd heard in all her life.
Leaving the room, she slipped down to the sea where not long ago a whale had beached itself. Stinky Minke. The words were like a magic spell, meant to ease the pain, keep her laughing. Something pleasurably tense built in her lower body as she listened to the roar of the sea. Closing her eyes, she imagined her lover rolling the crystal of Pusser's Rum between his palms, his glistening blue eyes in the firelight, his desire to Splice the Main Brace with her, his initial lust and then his fulfillment. In the dark of her mind she could hear his heartbeat and feel the ache in her own groin and in the erratic rhythm of her soul.
The voice said, “Is this a private party or can I join in?”
Spence.
She took a deep breath. He was next to her. She didn't move.
He said, “It's not a nice night for walking on the beach.”
She hadn't realized upon coming to the beach that the wind was blowing so fiercely. The atavistic draw of the elements had kept her soul from ripping open, until Spence invaded her space. “Any night is a nice night for walking on the beach.”
“The reporters have all gone. They packed up together and left like a herd of longhorns on the Chisholm Trail.”
Keeping her gaze on the rise and fall of the sea, she said, “It's over.”
“Rod's gone to Ocracoke.”
“Oh?” She feigned indifference, and maybe she was getting used to feeling disconnected from heartbreak.
“For two days,” Spence said, “With the Coast Guard.”
“He tell you to tell me this?”
“No. But I was with him when he got the call just now. He just left. I figured he didn't have time to call you.”
She asked, “Did he tell you that he knew about you and his wife?”
He took a step away from her, maybe to distance himself from what he'd just heard.
“I take that as a no,” she said, not looking at him, but at the sea.
“What are you talking about?”
“I know about you and Carmen. I told Rod.”
“What?”
“Don't feign innocence with me.”
“Who told you about me and Carmen?”
“A lot of people could have, couldn't they?” She glanced at him. “Wasn't it you who told me that this is a very small world down here?”
He shoved swirls of hair off his forehead. “You're a proven crazy-ass. Where are you getting this nutsy stuff.”
“MacGregor didn't tell me, but he could have. He could have told Rod, but he didn't, gentleman that he is.”
“What could he have told?”
She squeezed her arms across her chest. “That you and Carmen were lovers, careless lovers at that, and that you carried on all over the islands. He also could have said that everybody knew it, but nobody said a word because they cared about Rod.”
“I would never do something like that. Rod is my best friend. I love him like a brother.”
“And you loved his wife like a mistress.”
“You're crazy.”
“No, and when she didn't want to be your mistress, when she wanted to be your wife, you …” She dropped her arms to her sides. “You couldn't let that happen. You couldn't let Rod know that you and Carmen had been screwing each other since she came down here.”
“You're nuts.”
She walked a little away from him, and turned. “You know Spence, when people begin to think they reign supreme in an area, an area like Hatteras, they get to thinking they can do anything they want, and nobody sees them. It's like drinking too much. You think you're invisible. You thought your affair with Carmen didn't show. You think people are just cardboard characters who only think and speak and see what you want them to.”
“That's nonsense.”
“Is it? You know what else? Rod always knew. Deep down, he knew, but he couldn't bring himself to confront his best friend and the love of his life. I think he hoped it would all go away one day, and Carmen would settle down and love him again.”
“She wouldn't.” He stepped toward her with lines of entreaty etching his brow. “She wasn't made that way. If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else. If I married her, she would have cheated on me.”
“You hid her death because reporting it would have been the end of your career – the end of your importance.”
“I didn't kill her.”
“Yes, you did.”
A dangerous look came into his eyes. “It was an accident. Carmen had an accident.”
“You caused it that day on the dock.”
He lunged and flung his hands at her throat. She stood still and let him clutch her neck between thick fingers. Her gaze went from him to the dark sky where the tiny stars were so far away, and yet so near. So intimate and comforting. An eternity at sea – for surely he would throw her into it. But extraordinarily, he didn't press his hands together, and his thumbs didn't dig into her larynx. Instead, anyone watching would have seen two people on the beach, so close it seems like they were lovers instead of would-be murderer and willing victim.
He drew away, dropping his hands. “You'd tempt the goddamn devil.”
“You're not a murderer.”
“I'll lose everything.”
“No you won't. You'll survive. You'll probably even thrive.”
“But Rod will no longer be my friend.”
“You don't deserve his friendship. Like I don't. We've let him down and we've lost him.”
--
Spence's boat churned the waters of the inlet toward Coast Guard Station Ocracoke, a small subunit of Station Hatteras. He docked at the slip between the CG's 44-foot Motor Life Boat and the Life Inflatable that the unit at Ocracoke used to conduct 24-hour-a-day search-and- rescue missions, do law enforcement duties and marine environmental operations. Their theatre comprised more than 1400 square nautical miles of Atlantic Ocean and the southern end of Pamlico Sound. Spence threw lines to a watchman and walked to the ugly modular building. Inside, he looked through the galley door at the rough rugged men. He could cry thinking of not being with them much longer.
Oddly, the watch-standers were less animated than usual as they drank coffee and Cokes. Two played chess. At the table, Rod held a white mug between his hands, his head down as if he were reading the coffee grounds at the bottom. Rod hadn't seen him yet, and Spence swallowed the large lump of guilt in his throat and knew this was the last time he would be seeing his friend. Hating what was to come, he chewed on his lip while he waited to be noticed.
Rod was here on a marine protection operation. As such, he became one of the watchmen. Spence, himself, bunked wi
th the CG crews occasionally.
“Spence,” the First Class Boatswain Mate called to him.
“Good evening, Mates,” he said, and then looked at Rod, whose head had suddenly popped up. God, what pools of grief his eyes were.
The Bosun asked, “What brings you across The Inlet this time of night, in this wind. Squall approaching. Night's not fit for fish or fowl.”
“Personal business,” he said, then raised his chin at Rod. “Can I see you outside for a minute?”
Rod rose and followed Spence outside and across the yard, passed the boats to the Coast Guard Bell that had been planted in concrete.
Spence faced him. “You know what this is about, don't you?”
Rod's hands went into his parka pockets. “I got an idea.”
“I met Ann on the beach earlier this evening?”
“You go looking for her?”
“I keep watch on what goes on. It's my job.”
“Yeah.”
“I'm sorry, buddy.”
Rod's expression was merciless. “About what?”
“You know she told me.”
“What did she tell you?”
“You going to make me spit it out?”
“Yes.”
Leaning on the bell, Spence said, “Carmen and I – I'm not going into details.”
“I have an imagination.”
“It just happened, Roddy.”
“When did it start?”
“Right after you got married.”
“Who started it?”
“Does it matter?”
“No.”
“It would be rotten of me to blame her, wouldn't it?”
“But you are.”
“I'm just as guilty. I'm a prisoner of my own dick. I'm not like you. You can keep yourself in control. I'm a sucker for a pretty face and a flirty word.”
“I've known you all my life, Spence,” Rod said. “I know how you are with women, but I never expected your dick would extend to my wife.”
“I thought it was innocent at first,” Spence said, finding it hard to talk to a mask of disgust. “Just fooling around, not anything serious.”
“Where'd you fool around?”
“Here and there. We'd go to Manteo. I had to go up to headquarters. You'd be checking some shore or over here with the CG, or out on the water.”
THE GHOST SHIP Page 31