Forbidden Lyrics

by Jodie Larson

  It’s hard not to stare. All I want to do is trace the contours of her face, then burn the way her soft skin feels into my memory… as if she belongs there permanently. Lizzie looks down, breaking our eye contact.

  “Long time no see, stranger.”

  Her cheeks pink up as she nods. “Yeah, I kept missing you guys whenever you were in town.”

  “How’ve you been? Haven’t heard from you since that night you told me about Myles disappearing.” She looks over at me through her lashes, her face somewhat downcast as if she’s trying to hide.

  “Good. Bored now that the tour is over and we’re not in the studio.”

  “But that’s going to change now that you’re here, right? Adrienne was just telling us about the new building Kade’s been working on since the beginning of summer.”

  I nod. “Yeah, new recording studio. It was his compromise with the label since he wanted to take time off to be home with Adrienne and the baby. At first they said no, but then he countered with promises of working on the new album. Linda, our rep, is here this week to make sure everything is ready to go.”

  Lizzie takes the seat Pax vacated. “Tatum was telling me about her. She sounds like an absolute bitch.”

  “There’s definitely a special place in hell reserved for her.” Lizzie quirks a brow. “Well, maybe not that, but she’s pretty close to the devil. Most everyone is in the business.”

  She nods before draining the last of her wine from the glass. “Have you met anyone famous? Come on, spill it. I want all the gossip I can get.” This is the Lizzie I remember. Talkative, curious, and bubbly.

  I can only laugh. “Not that I want to brag, but I did get to hang out with Adam Levine in a restaurant once.”

  Her eyes widen. “Really?”

  I shake my head. “No. We ran into each other and shook hands. He recognized us and wanted to wish us luck on the tour. He was there with his wife having dinner.”

  Lizzie lets out a sigh and picks up my hand. “You touched him with this hand.” Not a question, more of a wistful statement, turning my hand over in awe.

  “Are you going to make it there, champ?” I say, not wanting to pull away yet.

  She laughs and lets me go all too soon. “He’s just so dreamy. I mean, all those tattoos and his hair. Pair it with the scruff on his face…” She exaggeratedly fans her face.

  “You know you just described Kade, right?”

  Her nose scrunches as she twists her face in mock disgust. “Ew. He’s like my brother. Now you just ruined the fantasy for me.”

  “Can’t say I’m sorry about that,” I say, quietly.

  “Huh?”

  I don’t elaborate more and focus on something else instead. “How are your parents?”

  The smile returns to her face. “Good. Driving me crazy, but that’s to be expected. Why I thought it’d be easier if I moved out, I’ll never know. I think Mom is doing more things for me now that I’m out of the house than when I was still there.”

  “You moved? Where to?”

  “Just a few blocks over, more toward Kade’s old house.”

  My heart does a crazy little twist in my chest. “No way. Guess where Pax and I are staying for the next few months.”

  Now her smile reaches her eyes. “Neighbor! Well, I may come and borrow a cup of sugar from you one day.”

  “I can’t guarantee that we’ll have sugar, but if you need beer, we’re your guys.” She lets out a quiet laugh, humoring me with the lame joke. “Whose house did you buy?”

  “Remember the Hanson’s?” I nod. “Well, they finally retired and moved south. The house never made it onto the market before I snatched it up. Totally overpaid for it. I mean, it’s small and dated, but in good shape. Any amount of money was worth it to move out on my own.”

  I lean in closer as if I’m telling her the world’s biggest secret. “You know, I got an A in shop class. If you need some remodeling, I know a guy who can help and is really cheap to hire.”

  “Is that so?” Lizzie taps her lips, trying to hide her grin. “Will he work for beer and pizza?”

  “You just said the magic words.” I would have worked for nothing. Any chance to spend time with her, I would have grabbed in a heartbeat.

  “Lizzie! Get back over here,” Quinn yells from the table.

  “Sounds like you’re being beckoned.”

  Lizzie turns and nods. “I suppose I should join the girls. You’re sticking around for a while, right?”

  I nod. “Sounds like we’ll be performing at least one set tonight.”

  My skin tingles where she places her hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Good. I’ve missed hearing you guys perform. We’ll catch up later. Promise?”

  “Definitely.”

  Once again, I find myself staring as she retreats back to the table of girls, all lifting their glasses in the air in a toast of some sort.

  Helping her out is the perfect excuse to spend time with Lizzie without Myles getting bent out of shape. All of a sudden, this trip home just got better.

  Why did he have to look so good? I mean, he’s so much different than I remember. In high school, he was Mr. Popular. Nothing but graphic T-shirts and jeans, but they just hung on his body with no shape or definition. And his boyish looks and wavy hair would get him out of everything. Rumor had it, all he had to do was wink at the female faculty and they’d let him out of a test. Every girl from his grade to mine chomped at the bit to get next to him. A few actually made it there. I don’t remember him ever being a ladies’ man. Not like Kade or Paxton. But there were a few I remember.

  Now, he’s a man, in every sense of the word. Still has the same dark hair from my memories, only styled better. And his clothes are nicer, though they’re still reminiscent of the well-worn shirts and jeans from back in the day. These hug his body just right, loose enough to not give everything away but tight in all the right places, letting you know he takes care of himself. Whatever cologne he’s wearing I need to find. It’s definitely not the Tommy Hilfiger he used to wear. This one is more grown-up. Whatever it is, it’s driving my senses wild.

  It’s hard to focus on the conversation around me when I can still see him sitting there out of the corner of my eye.

  “Lizzie, you in?” Quinn looks at me expectantly.

  I blink a few times before looking at the three faces staring at me. “I’m sorry, what?”

  Adrienne laughs. “We asked if you wanted to come over early Saturday to help decorate.”

  “Oh, yeah, sure. That sounds good. What time?”

  “I’ll pick you up around ten,” Quinn says.

  I nod and take a drink from the newly poured glass in front of me. Frequenting the bar that her husband manages definitely has its perks. Quinn told me they’re in the process of buying the bar from the owner who is eager to retire. I think it’s all going to be finalized at the end of next month. Gabe has worked so hard for this and he deserves it. They both do. I mean, I’ve been coming here since I turned legal and always had the best experiences.

  The band on stage finishes their song, sending the crowd into a deafening roar of applause. I’ve barely paid any attention to the acts because it’s so nice hanging out as one of the girls again. Only this time, no one is pretending to be my friend or using me to get with my brother’s friends. Of course, it helps that they’re all married to them.

  The house lights dim, leaving the whole place practically in darkness. A hush falls over the crowd as if the lack of light was in control of their voices. Pretty sure we’re the only table that knows what’s about to happen.

  The steady beat of a drum, counting out a punishing rhythm breaks through the silence. A bass guitar joins in, followed closely by two more guitars. It’s a pattern I’ve heard all my life. Each instrument getting its turn to take the spotlight before coming together as a whole.

  A spotlight cuts through the darkness and every girl in the room loses their mind before rushing the stage. Flashes from cell
phones compete against the swirling lights illuminating the dance floor. The four of them stand there, perfectly comfortable in their surroundings, taking command of the area. Kade winks at the girls in front while Myles struts his stuff along the right side of the stage. You can barely see Pax’s head above the drum set, but every once in a while, you sneak a glimpse of his smile.

  But that’s not what I’m focusing on. No, I’m drawn to the one standing off to the side, keeping a constant rhythm and not drawing as much attention to himself. Damn. If I thought Breck looked good sitting on a bar stool, he looks a million times better with a spotlight shining directly on him.

  “Is it time already?” Tatum bounces in her seat, acting like she’d never heard them play before. Quinn drags her chair over by Adrienne and stands on top, whistling as loud as she can while waving her arms in the air.

  “Does she always do that?” I ask them.

  “Yes,” they both say simultaneously. I laugh at the scene in front of me. Quinn is definitely a person all her own.

  “’Sup K.C! You ready to rock?” Kade bellows into the mic amid a roar of cheers and hollers. Adrienne sits a little taller in her chair, a hand flattened against her stomach as they play a song off their album, one I know by heart. It still blows my mind that the boys I chased after as a kid are famous. I have about twenty copies of their CD at home and randomly give them away to parents at the clinic or some of my co-workers. What can I say? I’m insanely proud of my brother and his friends and want to support them any way I can.

  “Ten to one some girl tries to rush the stage when they’re done,” Quinn yells once she retakes her seat.

  “Nah, these girls are pretty tame tonight,” Tatum says with a shake of her head.

  Not two seconds after the words leave her mouth, a girl crawls up on stage and tries to head for Kade, but Keith, the bouncer, is there instantly to drag her away.

  “Huh, that’s new. Never seen that before,” Adrienne says.

  “Seen what?”

  “Usually the crazies wait until the song is over. I haven’t seen one rush the stage in the middle of the song.”

  And this is why I hate the groupies; girls who think if they flash some skin, the guys will give them attention. They don’t know the four of them on stage, know what they sacrificed to get where they are. The hours spent in Kade’s garage, playing ‘til the early hours of the morning, when delirium hits and they don’t even know who they are anymore. Then they get a few hours of sleep, go back to school and start the process all over again. They only see pretty faces and an easy ticket out of here. Too bad half of them are taken.

  A twinge of fear settles in my chest. I’m not sure where it came from or why it’s there, but I shake it off and take another drink from my glass.

  When the song ends, Myles raises his hand in the air as a signal.

  “That’s me. I’ll be right back, ladies.” Tatum excuses herself from the table and heads backstage.

  “Oh good. We finally get some real entertainment.” Quinn laughs while finishing her wine.

  Adrienne tilts her head to the side. “That’s my husband up there, you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  My eyes follow Adrienne’s hand rubbing her belly. “How are you feeling?” I ask with a nod.

  She smiles, exhaustion obvious on her face. “Tired. But this little one always wakes up and kicks up a storm when Kade sings. I think we’re going to have a musical baby on our hands.”

  “As if the peanut had any other choice. Look who the parents are.” Quinn smirks.

  Adrienne’s face turns somber, hard lines forming instantly. “I won’t put that kind of pressure on this baby. If peanut wants to play, that’s fine. If not, that’s fine, too.”

  Quinn holds her hands up in defense. “That’s not what I meant. I know you wouldn’t do that.”

  I bounce my gaze between them and opt to not say anything. There’s a story there, but now is not the time to pry.

  Tatum takes the microphone from Kade and centers herself in the middle of the stage. Within the first two bars, I recognize the cover they’re playing. It’s one of my favorites by Paramore.

  “Misery Business” pours through the speakers as Tatum belts out the lyrics with ease. I’d almost venture to say she does a better job than Hayley Williams. Her personality shines on stage as she takes command. The guys seem comfortable sharing their space, even playing along as she works up the crowd. Huh, there seem to be more guys out on the floor than there were before.

  “Yeah, go Tatum!” Quinn bellows. I cover my ear with my hand, hoping to dull the ringing, but no avail. That girl has some lungs on her.

  When the song ends, she bows, her face beaming with pride. Myles wanders over and grabs her by the back of the neck, practically sticking his tongue down her throat as he makes out with his wife. The crowd eats it up, chanting and hollering to the point I can feel the vibrations through my chest and feet. Now I get why they do this. It’s intoxicating and addicting, knowing all these people are here for you. Even as a bystander, I can feel the palpable energy coursing through the building. For a second, I forget the people on stage are like my family and get caught in the moment, become a fan like those around me. Pride hits me hard, knowing their dreams have finally come true.

  As they regroup near Pax, I can’t help but fixate on Breck. This is a new side of him I haven’t seen, the persona on stage. Now I get the groupies and why they rush the stage. He commands attention, making it hard to look away from the way his forearms flex or the beads of sweat forming at his hairline.

  I tug at my shirt. Did someone turn on the heat?

  “How about a treat for the hometown crowd?” Kade asks. Screams and cheers erupt as he strums out a chord. “This is going on the new album, so you’re the first to hear it live.”

  Tatum stands off to the side, a different microphone in front of her since she relinquished hers to Kade. They start off slow, but the tempo quickly changes. Adrienne and Quinn are focused on Kade, while I’m drawn to Brecken, strumming his bass guitar expertly. A smile is permanently etched on his face; a smile I remember from my youth as a lovesick teen trying to hide her true feelings from everyone around her.

  I’ve always been drawn to Brecken. His kindness grabbed my attention first, not wanting to leave me behind. He’d convince everyone else to let me tag along in whatever adventure they were taking. I don’t have one childhood memory that doesn’t include him. I wish there was a chance to actually see something come from it. Myles made it perfectly clear we could never be together. My dreams didn’t get my brother’s memo.

  After a few more sets, including new songs mixed with covers, they try to make their way toward us, though it proves a little difficult since the crowd is reluctant to let the rock stars through. More than once, the boys are mauled by eager female fans, all wanting their ounce of flesh. Pax opts to mingle with one group of girls by the bar while Myles, Kade, and Breck pull up chairs to our table.

  Kade pulls Adrienne onto his lap, peppering her face with kisses and wrapping his hands around her extended stomach. “How’s the little one?”

  Adrienne pulls away, smiling with love and adoration at her husband. “Quiet now that you stopped singing. And hopefully will stay that way.”

  “So, you guys don’t know what you’re having?” I ask.

  They shake their heads, both smiling mischievously. Before either has a chance to speak, Quinn pipes up. “I told them they’re crazy. How can you plan something without knowing what you’re planning? The poor kid will probably hate green and yellow when they’re older.”

  “That’s why we opted for gray walls, which is classy and still gender neutral. Either way, what’s on the walls doesn’t matter.” Adrienne leans her head against Kade’s as a yawn escapes.

  “We should think about heading home. You’re exhausted and need to rest as much as you can.” The love and attentiveness pulls at my heart as I watch Kade fawn over Adrienne. Will I ever find a gu
y who’d do that for me?

  “Yeah, this jet lag is still kicking my ass and a solid twelve hours of sleep sounds good right about now.” It appears Tatum caught Adrienne’s yawn and leans against Myles for support.

  “Don’t think you’re going to sleep right away when we get home. I have plans,” Myles says, squeezing her hip.

  Bile threatens to rise up my throat as an unwanted image enters my mind. “No one wants to hear about your sex life.”

  “Thank you! I’ve been saying that forever,” Quinn says, thrusting her palm up for a high five.

  Myles wags his brows. “You know you’re curious.”

  “Not so much. You don’t hear the rest of us talking about our sex lives.”

  “Because there’s the select few who aren’t getting any.” Myles gives Breck a pointed stare before moving to me. “And there are those who if they are, I don’t want to know about it.”

  “Then why in the world would you think I want to hear about yours?” I quirk a brow as a snort comes from Brecken, who’s trying to hide his smile next to me.

  Myles opens his mouth, but Tatum puts her hand over it first. “Point taken. And now I’m going to take him home before he decides to make you all run away.” She replaces her hand with her lips and guides him toward the door without a word goodbye. No need since we’re all going to see each other in a few days.

  Kade and Adrienne say their goodbyes while Quinn heads over to the bar to see Gabe, leaving Breck and I alone again.

  Awkward silence falls between us as I pick at my nails and he focuses on the table. “That a new guitar?”

  He nods. “Sorta. Got it before we went to California. It’s my spare at home.”

  Another pause. “I suppose you’re tired from traveling, too?” Why is this suddenly so hard? I’ve never had issues talking with Brecken. Even when my stupid teenage hormones were ruling my head, I could still look him in the eye without blushing. Now, I’m finding it harder to control the heat in my face and give away the crush I’ve developed over the years.