But instead of spitting back a sharp retort, my mom nodded wearily, looking down at the bedspread.
“I know baby, I know, I haven’t always been the most involved Mom, but I figured you could take care of yourself,” she said. “I never thought things would get this off course.”
The “off course” remark really stung, and I blurted something out without thinking.
“Thanks Candace,” I said sarcastically. “But just so you remember, you’re the one who got us here with the stupid Prince Halson stuff. And now look what’s happened, my husband is, he’s …”
I couldn’t continue because tears overwhelmed me then and I found myself crying hard, my shoulders heaving painfully, tears running hotly down my cheeks. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time, years probably, so the volcanic eruption startled me, scared me.
But Candace didn’t seem surprised at all.
“I know honey, our husbands haven’t exactly been models of excellence,” she said softly, “or I guess in your case, your two husbands?” she asked.
And I nodded through the tears.
“I ma-married Hayden, but Holt’s always been pa-part of our relationship,” I confessed, the sobs making my words almost incomprehensible. “I can’t explain it but the twins mean so much to me, we’re a trio and can’t be any other way.”
And my mom sat back wearily, letting out a big sigh.
“I know baby, and maybe you should count yourself lucky to have found someone special,” she said sadly. “Or two someones in this case. I don’t think I’ll ever be so lucky.”
That made me stop sobbing for an instant. Candace was a newlywed, someone who’d literally just tied the knot. She shouldn’t have been talking like this, so I looked more closely at her, peering through my tears. And what I saw shocked me. Mom seemed to have aged about fifteen years in the short time we’d been here. Her once blonde hair was almost all silver now, and tiny lines had appeared around her eyes and mouth, her skin slightly crepey in texture, almost translucent from fatigue and disappointment.
“Mom?” I said slowly, “Are you okay? Have things been okay for you?”
Candace sighed again, and shot me a wry look before letting out a short, sharp laugh.
“Why is it that you always seem to be taking care of me rather than the other way around?” she said dryly. “Maybe if I’d listened to you things would be better for us both.”
“Mom,” I said more forcefully this time, “what’s wrong? Has everything been okay? You look really thin,” I said, scrutinizing her even more closely. It was true. Mom’s designer duds hung limply on a skeletal frame, and while she’d always slim, this time it was different. She looked ill, unhealthy, and her glow was just … gone.
But before I could say anything, Candace sighed and started to talk.
“Baby, count yourself lucky that you’ve found two men who adore you,” she said with some introspection. “I don’t think I’ve ever found a man in my life who loved me, really loved me,” she continued sadly.
Of course, my dad had been a dud, they’d divorced years ago. But what about Halson? They were newlyweds, practically still on their honeymoon. What had happened there?
And Candace saw the unspoken questions in my eyes.
“Baby, I’m always chasing romance,” she said, “you know that. You’ve met a ton of my boyfriends over the years and you’ve seen how headstrong I can be, dating that guy who lived in Montana who was still married, or the Australian one who ran a puppy mill.”
I nodded. Those interludes hadn’t been her best moments, but I didn’t think it defined her.
“Sure, you’ve made some bad decisions when it comes to men, but who hasn’t?” I said quickly. “Don’t be down about that. Why, has something happened with Halson?” I asked again.
“No, not really,” said Candace with a small smile. “I think it’s more about me,” she said ruefully. “I’ve always had my head in the clouds, wanted to get swept off my feet. And when a dashing prince actually showed up, I was over the moon,” she said. “But Halson, I don’t know, it’s just not working,” she said, stating the obvious.
The long look on her face moved me. But there had to be more.
“Why though?” I pressed again. “I mean, Halson is a prince, even if he’s not the Crown Prince anymore. Hayden and Holt aren’t kicking him out of the family or anything, he still lives at the palace and you’ll have a nice lifestyle. And besides, you were so in love and it’s only been months. Has he done something bad?” I asked insistently.
And my mom only shook her head.
“Sadly honey, Halson’s done nothing but be himself,” she said. “It’s me. I’m the one who lets myself get carried away, dreaming about princes with castles, crowns, and big bank accounts. And Halson’s got all that, it’s just not enough,” she said self-pityingly.
“Not enough?” I asked, confused. “What are you looking for exactly then?”
“That’s it,” said Candace, eyes downcast, wringing her hands like a damsel in distress. “I don’t know, I want to be happy, but I just keep looking and I can’t find it!” she exclaimed, looking at me with her eyes full of tears, pleading with me to understand. “This royal coup has been the last straw too. Your husband, he was so commanding, so tall, so brave, and my husband,” she continued, her mouth twisting in disgust, “he was a coward, standing by as his own father was dethroned, doing nothing for his country, for himself.”
That took me aback.
“But Mom,” I said slowly, “Halson’s never been uh … an alpha male, should we say? I mean, everyone knows that he’s kind of shy, right? So was this all news to you?”
“No it’s not news to me,” snapped Candace, “I just want more. I want someone vibrant, alive, manly, and Halson, well, he’s not that,” she said firmly.
I sat back. I could tell that nothing about my mother had changed. She’d started out saying that it was her problem, that the problem was in her head, her thoughts, her desires, but sure enough, the conversation had turned to Halson’s faults. Somehow, Candace had been able to reason her way to the conclusion that it was her husband’s doing, that he was to blame for everything, even though he’d done nothing but be himself.
And as I walked slowly back to my room, my thoughts whirled. Was I doing the same? Was I following the same pattern? My husbands were doing nothing but being themselves as well. Hayden and Holt were princes of the kingdom, loyal to a fault, and they’d been straight with me. Slovania was their love and had been their love since birth. I was an interloper of sorts, a woman they’d married only recently. Was it realistic for me to force them to change? Was it realistic for me to drive the Slovanian out of their blood, out of their very own DNA?
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Summer
“Are you sure you want to do this, Mom?” I asked slowly, my expression somber. “Because once it’s done, it can’t be undone.”
And my mom turned to look at me, the wind whipping through her hair, making it into a froth of blonde strands.
“I’m sure baby, I know what you think of me, that I’m a good-for-nothing will-o-the-wisp, but this time I’m sure,” she said emphatically. “I want a divorce.”
And I just shook my head. Because we were in front of the Donkey Club again, looking at its massive doors. Slovania has traditions, many of them revolving around the donkey, and marriage and divorce in particular have their own rules and customs. I’d gotten engaged by dancing at the Donkey for Hayden and Holt, and my mom wanted to do the opposite now. She would dance at the Donkey for strangers, taking money from them, signaling her intent to divorce.
And I was afraid for Candace, truth be told. I absolutely didn’t respect her reasons for leaving Halson after only mere months of marriage. After all, the man was just being himself. He was born shy, the pressures of being the Crown Prince had exacerbated it, but he’d never hidden his personality. Instead, it was Candace who was looking for … for what exactly? No one knew, not eve
n herself.
And so we were here, in the Latin Quarter, the music pounding around us as my mom prepared to go in. I was disappointed, sure, but in a way resigned too. After all, Candace was just being herself – inconsistent with ill-defined goals, flitting from this to that, always changing her mind even when it was too late. Unfortunately, this time it meant that she would be rejecting the Halborg title, cutting ties with the royal family, and probably doing a ton of financial damage to herself.
But I wouldn’t give up so easily. As my mom reached a manicured hand towards the door, I slapped mine on top of hers, stopping her, forcing her to look at me one last time.
“Ma, are you sure?” I said forcefully. “Don’t do this on a whim, I know things look glum right now, but maybe it’ll be different in a month or so.”
But Candace just rolled her eyes.
“Halson, change?” she asked, exhaling loudly. “I don’t think so. That guy’s got mayonnaise for guts, he couldn’t grow a backbone if he tried,” she said exasperatedly. “Besides, it’s better if I do this,” she said with a bright smile at me. “That way, you’re not married to your uncle,” she added cheekily.
And that was true, if my mom and Halson divorced, then Hayden and I were no longer related. But I didn’t want to be the cause of her separation, not even one of the causes.
“Don’t do this for me,” I warned. “I’ve got my own life, my own priorities, my own goals,” I said. “Don’t think you’re doing me any favors,” I warned.
“Oh you!” pooh-poohed Candace again, reaching for the handle once more. “Baby, you don’t know how good you have it. Not one, but two handsome, dominant men, and now one’s King and the other’s Prime Minister. Honey, I’m proud of what you have, even if it’s untraditional,” she said, “I only wish Halson were more like his brothers,” she scoffed.
I shook my head. Candace clearly had no idea of the thoughts roiling my brain, of how torn I was over Holt and Hayden’s allegiances. If she knew that I hurt because they were too patriotic, too loyal to Slovania, the blonde would probably break down laughing before scolding me for my naïveté.
But maybe she had a point. Maybe I had to back up for a moment and look at what I really expected of the twins. Part of what drew me to them was their devotion to their country, whether operating on underprivileged children or taking up arms against their own father as part of the rebellion. Maybe I was being unrealistic, forcing them to choose between me and Slovania. And what if, just what if, they chose Slovania? What would happen then? My heart ached a bit from the thought, and I shook my head, confused but determined to make sense of it somehow.
Meanwhile, Candace had slipped into the dark of the club, the blaring music and multicolored lights flashing in my eyes, making me squint. I watched as the heavy door swung slowly shut, the music growing muffled, leaving me alone on the sidewalk outside. My mom was out to find her fortune … and I had to find mine as well.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Hayden
We were relaxing in the throne room after a long day of work, negotiating a new currency, setting up the infrastructure for a new bank, heck, even re-tooling parts of the Slovanian Constitution. Things had to be re-done from the ground up and Holt and I were in the midst of it all, rolling up our sleeves and putting in the hours. It was tough work but gratifying as well – our country was going to come out on top come hell or high water, and Holt and I were willing to sacrifice, give our blood, sweat and tears if that’s what it took.
I was just about to grab another slice of midnight pizza when a soft knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” I called out. Hopefully it wasn’t Casper again with that tome of trade regulations. That stuff was boring as all get-out but it had to be reviewed.
But the door creaked open to reveal Summer, her figure as curvy as ever, tempting and tantalizing, even though she shot us only the faintest of smiles upon entering.
“How goes?” I asked, helping myself to a second slice while looking over her figure appreciatively. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.” My brother growled in agreement, his mouth full but his eyes devouring the brunette, taking in that luscious ass, the pendulous boobs and swaying hips.
A pause.
“I’m not sure how it goes,” replied Summer. “It’s complicated.”
Not exactly what you want to hear after a long day, but then again we hadn’t had a lot of time for our girl lately. Sure, our raging sex life continued, Summer’s cunny just as sweet, just as hot and available, but we hadn’t had time to talk after each session, Holt and I were just dead tired, falling asleep immediately like two assholes. So I took a deep breath and tried to lighten the atmosphere.
“Complicated how?” I said with a grin. “Complicated as in you want more? Complicated as in we take you right now on this oak table, heels over your head?” I asked, waggling my eyebrows suggestively.
But Summer let out an exasperated sigh and glared at me.
“No, complicated as in real stuff,” she said, hands on her hips. “We need to talk.”
Oh shit. I hated that phrase, and evidently my bro did too because he went for it, balls to the wall, take no prisoners style.
“What’s complicated?” growled Holt, his expression grim. “We’re married, so it’s simple. You’re the queen.”
I nodded, almost afraid to breathe, the tension was that thick in the air. And the brunette sighed deeply before shooting us a look, a look that wives reserve for husbands.
“You know it’s not that easy,” she said slowly. “You know that a lot has happened lately and I’ve been really confused.”
Oh shit. It was worse than I thought. Holt and I had been busy recently, really busy getting together a new Parliament, appointing government figures, heck even hiring household staff. We’d hoped that Summer had gotten over her confusion on her own, but evidently that wasn’t the case. I tried to stay calm.
“What’s bothering you?” I asked, keeping my face impassive even though my heart beat at a million miles a minute. “Is it the coronation itself? Is it the fact that Constantine’s headed to the tribunal? Or that he may face execution? Because you know that he probably won’t get the death penalty, the Truth and Reconciliation tribunal doesn’t really do that.”
And Summer shook her head, her eyes far away.
“No, it’s not that,” she said slowly, “I know Constantine is going to survive, he’ll just spend a million years in jail. It’s just that … you know I’ve been worried because everything you’ve done, everything you do even now is for Slovania,” she said, her hands gesturing helplessly. “When will it stop? Will it ever stop? Where are your boundaries?” she asked.
Another silence.
“I hope those are rhetorical questions because you know we don’t have answers,” growled Holt, his brow stormy. “Don’t make us choose.”
“I know,” said Summer softly. “I’m just scared you know? Now that you’re King and Prime Minister, there’s even less stopping you. No one’s going to tell you ‘no,’ no one’s going to tell you ‘that’s enough.’ So where does that leave me?”
I paused for a moment.
“But baby, that’s it exactly,” I said, my deep voice persuasive, doing my best to make her see. So much hung in the balance and I couldn’t stand the thought of what might happen if this conversation didn’t go our way. “We need you,” I said, my voice low. “You. We need you to tell us if we’re overstepping boundaries, if we’re acting irrationally, if we’re making bad decisions. More than ever, we need you as our queen.”
And Holt nodded silently, his eyes boring holes into the brunette’s luscious figure. I could see my bro’s chest rising and falling quickly, his breathing uneven.
“It’s just that,” said Summer faintly, unable to meet our eyes. “It’s just that,” she continued after taking a deep breath and straightening her shoulders, “Slovania will always be in your blood, and I can’t compete. I just can’t. The country is your first love and
will always be.”
And we had no words then. After all, Slovania was our first love, that was true.
“But baby,” I said persuasively, “we have more than enough room for you and Slovania. There’s plenty to go around, there are different types of love, this isn’t even making sense. What are you asking for exactly?”
And here, Summer turned away again, her gaze confused, the warm caramel flitting to ours for a second before moving away.
“I’m not sure,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure what I’m looking for, what I’m asking.”
And with that, she left the throne room quietly, the door shutting behind her with a quiet click. My brother and I looked at each other with a mixture of anger, confusion, panic, and most of all, worry. What was happening to us? What could we do? Was our threesome done for?
CHAPTER THIRTY
Summer
I lay quietly in bed, my hands on my abdomen. Although my tummy was still only a soft, gentle curve, something special lay beneath. A baby. I was having Holt and Hayden’s baby, though I haven’t told them yet.
And the thought makes me giddy with joy. A baby! Someone who would hopefully look just like his fathers, the black hair, the blue eyes, all set in chubby features that were oh-so-cute.
But at the same time, Hayden’s words rang in my mind.
What are you asking for exactly?
What are you asking for exactly?
What are you asking for exactly?
The words repeated themselves again and again and I shook my head, trying to get rid of the sound, the endless cycle that circled round and round. What was I looking for? What did I want?
Suddenly the phone rang.
“Hello?” I asked, then corrected myself quickly. “Ahoj?” I said quickly, my Slovanian accent flawless.
My mom’s voice came on, tinny and high-pitched, sounding like she was a million miles away.
“Oh baby, I finally got a hold of you!” she cried, “Can you hear me? I’m on a yacht in the Mediterranean.”
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