There are multiple reasons, of course—prolonged tension, sudden trauma, anxiety in the present, fear of the future, whatever it is that threatens the security of the self. But, in the end, it all comes down to one: For some reason, under some circumstances, people simply discover that their own sense of self, their previous definition of purpose in life, the feasibility of their goals, the sextant of their lives has failed and fractured somewhere along the line. Like a dual-focus camera, where clarity of the photograph requires that both sides of the subject come into perfect alignment, at least one part of the subject has shifted. One part of the soul is no longer in alignment with the other half of the person. One goal is out of line with the other. One segment of the soul has lost its sense of direction.
Or to put it another way, one or more tiers of the healthy personality—physical foundation, personality traits, goals, or self-concepts—for whatever reason, are out of line with the others. What the soul whispers in our ear that must be achieved does not excite the heart. What the mind believes, the soul questions. The vision the psyche needs before it can proceed with the task of becoming whole has simply evaporated. Goals that were once sharp are now blurred in the midst of turmoil.
It is these built-in dichotomies that the twelfth step of humility calls into consciousness. The twelfth step is the final, but unfinished, task of life. It is the culmination of what the first eleven steps of humility seek to develop in each of us.
The issue that the twelfth step of humility confronts us with, then, is the question of integration. Let’s call it the And so? question of life. You have immersed yourself in the twelve steps of humility all your life: And so? What has changed in your life as a result?
Humility, this wisdom chapter from the sixth century, is a guidebook to personal integration. The twelfth step of humility is the final test of the success of the process. We are, it teaches us, always and everywhere to “manifest humility in our bearing no less than in our hearts.” We are now, as this generation has become fond of saying, to “get our act together.” We are not only to recite, to preach, to profess the humility to which the long, slow climb up this ladder has brought us; we are to have become it. The twelfth step requires us to look back on this territory of spiritual development and ask ourselves pointedly and particularly, And so?
1. You say you have learned now from the first step of humility that only God is God and you are not. And so? When you get up in the morning, how will that affect what you do today?
2. You insist that you understand the second step of humility, that God’s will will always be better for you than your own self-centered demands. And so? What did you do differently today as a result?
3. You realize that by accepting the third step of humility, the guidance of wisdom figures, you not only profit personally from their experience but acknowledge your mortal limitations. And so? In what way do you make decisions differently now than you would have before you accepted their role in your life?
4. You affirm in the fourth step of humility that the willingness to endure even difficult things is a sign of faith and trust in God. And so? Through what have you persisted and what happened as a result of it?
5. You maintain in the fifth step of humility that being willing to acknowledge your own mistakes liberates rather than crushes the soul. And so? When have you admitted your bad steps and from what were you freed as a result?
6. You claim in the sixth step of humility that it is possible to be content, to be happy, with less than the best and even in the face of bad treatment. And so? How have you reacted when you were overlooked?
7. You contend in the seventh step of humility that putting down all the trappings that lead to a false sense of self relieves a person. And so? From what have you freed yourself? And why?
8. You think with the eighth step of humility that people should go on learning from people who are models of the tradition even as they age. And so? What have you learned from others in your community, family, congregation, workplace? What did you learn about yourself? What did it change in you?
9. You suggest in the ninth step of humility that it is better to listen, even when you know that you know the answer. And so? Have you ever discovered something by listening that you did not find out simply by talking to another person?
10. You hold with the tenth step of humility that ridicule of differences is wrong. And so? How do you deal with people whose mannerisms irritate you? What do you do differently now?
11. You say you really believe, as in the eleventh step of humility, that it’s better to speak kindly, even under difficult circumstances. And so? What have you taught yourself to do to calm conversation in tense situations?
12. And finally, in the twelfth step of humility, you believe that it’s important sometimes simply to stand by and let other people take over, talk first, give the orders, get the credit. And so? What happens to you when you do these things? Or, better yet, who are you now as a result?
Humility does not chain us to a lesser self. Ironically enough, it is humility that stretches us beyond ourselves. Humility does not say, “I can never succeed.” It says, “Whatever happens, I must always get up again. I must learn to live with failure. I must go on.” Why? Because failure is one of the great teachers of life.
The hard truth is that humility is a lesson that can take a lifetime to learn. Yet, in the end, its great reward is contentment, serenity, trust, and a sense of the success that comes from having arrived at the fullness of the self by understanding our own smallness.
Humility is the great liberator in life. No one and nothing can undermine the humble person’s confidence in God. Nothing can deter us from committing ourselves to the will of God for the world. Nothing can convince us to adapt ourselves to a world whose greed is crushing and whose arrogance is smothering. We will be forever happy with what we have. We will not live pretending to be what we are not, forever worried that our masks, our toupees, our cosmetics and costumes will come off in public. Everything we do will speak of kindness, of acceptance, of care for those in whose presence we stand. We will have put down all the trappings that are meant to hide our real selves from the world. Freed from all pretensions now, I will be honest, open, and my authentic self to all people and in all situations.
It is the work of a lifetime, yes, but it is a lifetime that gets quieter, calmer, kinder, and more satisfying as we go.
An old monastic tale says it all. The disciple asks, “What do you do in a monastery?” And the old monastic answers, “Oh, we fall and we get up. And we fall and we get up. And we fall and we get up again.”
What are the spiritual implications of this step of humility?
Mahatma Gandhi wrote, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Gandhi could have been a Benedictine. The twelfth step of humility is about living an integrated life, a life in which each part is in harmony with every other dimension.
What we think, what we say, and the way we go about life cannot be well lived when they are in opposition to one another. When, in fact, they simply cancel one another out, there is no integrity left to any of them. The person who lives a lie, for instance, no matter how effective otherwise, is in tension every moment of the day. The person who pretends to be something they are not—wealthy, credentialed, in emotional control—cannot function openly anywhere at any time.
The truth is that we are meant to be transparent. People, hearing what we say, should know what we think. Seeing what we do with our lives, people can infer what we care about and how we think about things. If we say one thing but think another, somewhere, somehow it all begins to seep out. Worst of all, the burden of hiding exhausts a person from the soul on out.
Benedict in the chapter on humility is quite direct about the intertwined life of soul, body, and emotions as the measure of integrity, strength, serenity, and freedom. In the twelfth step of humility, his clarity is so simple it is stunning. He writes: Our humility “is evident at
the Opus Dei, in the oratory, the monastery or the garden, on a journey or in the field, or anywhere else.”
The directions are achingly pure: Be what you say you are. Do not lie, even to yourself. Don’t live two lives—loving parent/missing parent; honest employee/cheating employee; devoted public servant/self-absorbed public servant. The truth is that egotism is the bane of community building. No one can build anything that lasts when the materials are bogus.
Benedict has brought the steps of humility to an acme in the twelfth. Physical appearance, he warns us, betrays the quality of our souls. People know by looking into my eyes whether I am really intent on being with them or not. They can tell if I am interiorly what I purport to be exteriorly. Even in a culture whose penchant for casual long ago broke the boundaries of either propriety or integrity, excess in any direction says more than I want to admit.
Most of all, what we wear and how we carry ourselves define us. Our clothes, our gait, our accessories—the big signs of religion or the heavy makeup, the overdressing or underdressing, the self-serving boasting or the simple truth telling—all expose us. They add up to what’s most on our mind, how honest is our speech, how caring is our presence.
At the end, three things measure both our integrity and the harmony of our own lives: self-control, respect, and freedom from self-deception.
Self-control is the key to spiritual development. To be too much or too little of anything in one dimension of my life creates imbalance in the other dimensions as well.
Respect for other people not only measures my humility but opens me to the wisdom around us as well.
Freedom from the demon of self-deception gives me the chance to go on growing just when I think I have reached my height, plumbed my depths, and know it all. The demons are behind me, the way ahead is open, the self becomes an eternal enterprise in process.
Then, at the height of the ladder, three things happen: First, we look back and realize that the journey has not been a series of exercises. It has been a process of slow and soul-emptying transformation. We find ourselves involved in an entire reorientation of the self—away from the exhausting demands of narcissism to the softening and holy-making ventures of humility.
Second, we see that the change in our mind-set and demeanor have enabled us to relax into the arms of God. Life ceases to be a sprint to an imaginary finish and becomes a stroll through Mystery. We know now that everything in life is not under our control. So we learn to do what we can and then settle into allowing ourselves to take life as it comes. At that point life becomes more an adventure than a threat, more a ride steering through the rapids than a collision with the rocks.
Third, we begin to realize that we have been saved from our driving, pounding, teeth-grinding selves enough to enjoy the rest of the adventure called life, learning, becoming, growing as we go.
The essence of Benedictine spirituality, a spirituality of growth in God and in human community, is a ladder that is grounded in the presence of God and reaches up and out beyond itself to concern for the world in which we live.
Humility, Benedict teaches, turns things upside down. In the spirituality that developed in the Middle Ages onward, life was a series of ecclesiastical dos and don’ts and rooted in pious exercises. When done well enough and regularly, these spiritual duties merited, were guaranteed, to end at the summit that was God.
Benedict’s chapter on humility topples that kind of spiritual merit system. He calls instead for a way of life that begins with awareness of the presence of God and is lived with honesty and care for the people around us. It ends at the peak of human community.
Benedictine spirituality is rooted in life—normal, committed, love-giving, life-giving life. “Our body and soul [are] the sides of this ladder,” he says, “into which our divine vocation is to fit the various steps of humility as we ascend.” If we want to be holy people, people steeped in God, people who have integrated the spiritual and the material in life, we must “climb [this ladder] by the humility of this present life.” This ladder of humility begins with God and ends with care for the rest of the world. The two sides of the ladder, he says, are body and soul. The implications of that single statement say it all. This spirituality is not escapist, is not body denying, is not self-centered, is not otherworldly. This spirituality stretches us and points us toward others, to the Infinite.
It is a way of life, a spirituality, a compass point to God. It is life-changing and life-giving.
The steps of that great ladder are definite and distinct. The Twelve Steps of Humility are, at every pace of the way, one step closer to a life that is full of the fullness of life. Brimming with love of God, a proper love of self, and love of the humanity to which we give our care, we are finally authentic and fully free, totally authentic and driven by the spirit of God.
The Twelve Steps of Humility are an invitation to freedom. If they had been written today, they would have sounded very much like this, perhaps:
1. Recognize that God is God.
2. Know that God’s will is best for you.
3. Seek direction from wisdom figures.
4. Endure the pains of development and do not give up.
5. Acknowledge faults and strip away the masks.
6. Be content with less than the best.
7. Let go of a false sense of self.
8. Preserve tradition and learn from the community.
9. Listen.
10. Never ridicule anyone or anything.
11. Speak kindly.
12. Be serene, stay calm.
Do all these things and you will achieve that Love that casts out fear in awareness of the Love that is God.
Humility is the ancient secret of life, a spirituality for all time, an awareness of God that plunges us into God’s presence in the present moment. Always. The decision is ours.
Finally, fourth, we discover in the last paragraph of Chapter 7, on Humility, a promise that takes us all by surprise. It is, in fact, the only guarantee in the entire Rule. Nowhere else, no other segment or topic of the Rule, ends with any kind of spiritual assurance whatsoever. Here, though, after the slow, soul-stretching challenges of the Twelve Steps of Humility, a promise lies in wait for us.
If we ever wanted a kind of confirmation of the joys inherent in a life that is more centered in the interior life than in the secular goals of status, accumulation, and power, this must surely be it. This paragraph in the Rule of Benedict reads clearly and solemnly, with certainty and eternal promise:
“Now, therefore, after ascending all these steps of humility, we will quickly arrive at the ‘perfect love’ of God which ‘casts out fear’ (1 John 4:18). Through this love, all that we once performed with dread, we will now begin to observe without effort, as though naturally, from habit, no longer out of fear of hell, but out of love for Christ, good habit, and delight in virtue. All this God will by the Holy Spirit graciously manifest in us now cleansed of vices and sins.”
Say it again and again and again: We will quickly arrive at the perfect love of God which casts out fear. We will know the God of Life. We will be at one with the mind of God.
“All that we once performed with dread, we will now…observe without effort…out of love…good habit, and delight in virtue,” the passage rings out. It is a breathtaking promise.
The struggle is over now. The demons are quieted. We have come full circle from a search for God based in fear to finding God without effort, out of love, good habit, and delight in virtue.
Welcome home to the arms of God.
Humility
Sisters and Brothers, divine Scripture calls to us saying: “Whoever exalt themselves shall be humbled, and whoever humble themselves shall be exalted” (Luke 14:11; 18:14). In saying this, therefore, it shows us that every exaltation is a kind of pride, which the prophet indicates has been shunned, saying: “O God, my heart is not exalted; my eyes are not lifted up and I have not walked in the ways of the great nor gone after marvels beyond me” (Ps. 13:1). A
nd why? “If I had not a humble spirit, but were exalted instead, then you would treat me like a weaned child on its mother’s lap” (Ps. 131:2).
Accordingly, if we want to reach the highest summit of humility, if we desire to attain speedily that exaltation in heaven to which we climb by the humility of this present life, then by our ascending actions we must set up that ladder on which Jacob in a dream saw “angels descending and ascending” (Gen. 28:12). Without doubt, this descent and ascent can signify only that we descend by exaltation and ascend by humility. Now the ladder erected is our life on earth, and if we humble our hearts God will raise it to heaven. We may call our body and soul the sides of this ladder, into which our divine vocation has fitted the various steps of humility and discipline as we ascend.
The first step of humility, then, is that we keep “the reverence of God always before our eyes” (Ps. 36:2) and never forget it. We must constantly remember everything God has commanded, keeping in mind that all who despise God will burn in hell for their sins, and all who reverence God have everlasting life awaiting them. While we guard ourselves at every moment from sins and vices of thought or tongue, of hand or foot, of self-will or bodily desire, let us recall that we are always seen by God in the heavens, that our actions everywhere are in God’s sight and are reported by angels at every hour.
The prophet indicates this to us, showing that our thoughts are always present to God, saying: “God searches hearts and minds” (Ps. 7:10); and again: “The Holy One knows our thoughts” (Ps. 94:11); likewise, “From afar you know my thoughts” (Ps. 139:3); and, “My thoughts shall give you praise” (Ps. 76:11). That we may take care to avoid sinful thoughts, we must always say to ourselves: “I shall be blameless in God’s sight if I guard myself from my own wickedness” (Ps. 18:24).
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