I shrugged. “Miami isn’t going anywhere.”
Estrella put her arm around my waist and leaned into me. We stood that way watching the waterfall together.
“You know what, Elliot,” she said, “you’re a good man.”
“Yeah, everyone keeps telling me that.”
I didn’t mention that this whole situation had made me question the kind of man I really was. I’m not so sure a good man would go around earning his living by offering financially strapped people cash for their house keys.
We broke off the main path on our way back and hiked up to the bluff where June had taken David to go hang gliding into the moon. It was really high with a really amazing view. You could just see the house at the edge of the tree line, a spire of white smoke standing like a feather from its chimney, and you could see the fields and barns beyond.
I could almost picture it as Mr. Hadley had described it being that night, with a big swollen moon and Sebastian down there somewhere standing beside his crazy bonfire. If he hadn’t told me the story, who would be left to remember? Does it even matter? Does there need to be a photograph or a record for a thing to have happened? I thought about all the quiet, undocumented moments that must flare and fade forever from the face of humankind’s vast experience. Moments made even more special because they belonged to only those who had experienced them. Moments like this one for me.
I put my arm around Estrella and pulled her into me. She felt warm in the cool air of the high cliff. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I smelled her lavender shampoo, smiling to think that she used the same scent as June.
“Would you ever go hang gliding?” I asked her.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I suppose I would if I trusted the person I was getting into the harness with.”
“Yeah, me too.”
We stood for another few minutes, taking in the view.
“We better get back and wake him up,” I said. “I’d bet the lunch check he’s nodded off in front of the TV.”
34
HE WAS WAITING for us with his coat on and his hair combed when we returned. He almost seemed like a nervous kid heading off to school. He had surrendered his pride, though, and he used his cane as we walked together out to my car. He tried to sit in the back but Estrella insisted he take the front passenger seat instead.
“I haven’t been out to a restaurant in years,” he confessed once we were buckled in. “Well, unless you count the hospital cafeteria.”
It was fun driving with all three of us in the car. It felt like a family outing. Estrella and Mr. Hadley challenged each other to name the various types of trees that we passed, and I only had to correct them once when they both agreed on a western hemlock that was actually a grand fir.
“Look at you,” Estrella said. “Taking us both to school.”
“Hey, I might not read Stevenson, but I’m a logger’s son.”
It was too late for lunch and too early for dinner, so the diner was nearly deserted. It appeared as if the hostess was also the cook, and she smiled at us from behind the grill as we entered. “Three for dinner and the show?” she asked.
“Yes, please,” I said. “But what’s this show bit all about?”
“Haven’t you all ever been to Larry’s Out-of-This-World Scramble House? If you haven’t, you’re in luck, because Larry doesn’t usually work on Mondays when the fish are running.”
“But today’s Sunday,” Estrella said.
“I know. He usually takes Sunday off to get a head start on not working Monday. But he’s here today. And that means if you can eat without laughing your meal is free.”
She brought us to a booth and sat us down with menus. There was an enormous mounted lobster hanging on the wall above our booth and the plaque read: WORLD’S LARGEST SHRIMP.
Larry made his appearance a few minutes later. He had the world’s worst toupee, a mustache that curled at the ends, and a smile that curled just as wide. His cheeks were red.
“I see we have three siblings for brunch,” he said. “Who’s the oldest so I know where to deliver the check?”
Mr. Hadley raised his hand, but Estrella pushed it down.
“He’s buying,” she said, pointing at me. “He lost a bet.”
“Welcome to our little diner then. We call it Out-of-This-World because we opened a location on Mars, but it just didn’t have any atmosphere. Hey hey!”
He looked to us for a laugh. We only smiled, determined to get our meals for free if we could.
“We offer breakfast anytime, and our house specialty is French toast during the Renaissance. Ha!”
He paused again, but we all just smiled again.
“I can tell I have my work cut out for me. Tough crowd here. It’s hard to appreciate good humor on an empty stomach, I guess. How about we get some food going for you?”
We all decided that breakfast sounded pretty good. I don’t know why, but there’s something homey about breakfast for dinner on a cold fall day. Mr. Hadley and I both opted for the French toast, with him adding, “Extra whipped cream and extra Renaissance for me, please!” while Estrella decided on Swedish pancakes, saying that since they served breakfast anytime she’d like hers served during the Enlightenment. This made Mr. Hadley smile. Larry chuckled, and I could tell he wished he’d thought of it himself.
The windows were already getting dark, but the diner was nice and warm, with bright yellow lights and the scent of butter and bread. We made small talk, as if we were just three friends out for an ordinary meal. There was no way any of us could have predicted how it would end.
Larry came by with a big glass of orange juice for each of us. We told him we didn’t order any juice but he said nonsense.
“It’s fresh-squeezed by my pet gorilla every morning. Try it. I promise you it’s out of this world.”
When our breakfasts arrived they were enormous. Estrella and I dug in, but I noticed Mr. Hadley hardly ate any of his; he mostly just picked at the whipped cream. While we ate he told us a story about how June would always order two eggs with her breakfast, one scrambled and the other poached, because she never could decide which she preferred. He said they had a really rude server in Oregon once, so June told him they had poached the wrong egg and sent her breakfast back.
When we had finished eating, Estrella had her heart set on pie. She was torn between marionberry and apple. She just couldn’t decide.
“Apple’s good with cheese melted on top,” I said.
“I know,” she replied, “but marionberry is great warmed up with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Which would you order, Mr. Hadley?”
“About all I can eat is the ice cream anymore,” he said, “the berry seeds get caught in my bridge. But let me teach you a little trick my father taught me.” Then he hauled a quarter from his pocket as if he had brought it along just in case. He tossed the coin and caught it, slapping it down on the counter and covering it with his hand. “Heads or tails for apple?” he asked.
“For apple,” Estrella said. “Hmm . . . how about tails.”
He lifted his hand and it was in fact tails.
“Shoot,” Estrella said. “I really wanted marionberry.”
Mr. Hadley smiled, winking at me. “See, the trick works every time. Could you excuse me, Elliot? I need to use the boys’ room.”
I let him out of the booth, helping him up and handing him his cane. He thanked me. Then he noticed the mounted lobster and leaned a little closer to read the plaque.
“Heh!” he said. “If that’s the world’s biggest shrimp, the gorilla who squeezes his orange juice must be his wife.”
Then he shuffled off toward the restrooms in the back.
“The poor man hardly ate anything,” Estrella said once he was out of earshot.
“I know. Maybe we should order him some ice cream.”
Larry came by and Estrella ordered her marionberry pie and a dish of vanilla ice cream for Mr. Hadley, just in case.
“Okay,” Larry said. “But you haven’t laughed yet, so let me try one last time. I hardly have enough business to be giving out free meals. Now, you two look like a nice young couple, so I’ll tell you about the pair who came in last week to celebrate their silver wedding anniversary. I asked them what their secret was. You wanna know what they told me?”
“Sure,” I said. “Lay it on us.”
“They said their secret to a happy marriage was that they always make time to go into the city for romantic dinners.”
Estrella smiled. “How nice.”
“Isn’t it?” Larry replied. “They do it religiously two days a week. The husband goes on Thursdays and the wife goes on Fridays. Bada-boom!”
This time Estrella couldn’t help but laugh.
“Got ya that time!” he said. “One marionberry à la mode and one vanilla double scoop coming up with your check.”
When he brought the desserts over I wished I had ordered pie of my own. It looked that good. Estrella saw me eyeing hers so she offered me a bite from her fork.
“That might just be the best berry pie I’ve ever had.”
“Yes, but is it out of this world?” she asked.
“I think I’d need another bite to be sure.”
She laughed. “Is it rude not to wait for Mr. Hadley?” she asked. “Maybe you should go check on him.”
“He’s fine,” I said. “He spends a lot of time in there at home too. It would only embarrass him if I went to check.”
Estrella told me I had to name the song playing on the kitchen radio if I wanted another bite of her pie. When I informed her that I didn’t listen to country music, she told me she wouldn’t share her pie with a philistine who didn’t appreciate Jim Reeves. I tried to steal a bite while she wasn’t looking, but she caught me.
“Maybe you should eat Mr. Hadley’s ice cream,” she said. “It’s almost all melted anyway.”
“You know what?” I scooted out of the booth. “I’m gonna go check on him. I’ll just let on that I had to use the restroom.”
“I know what you’re up to,” she said. “You’re just trying to get out of the check.”
“No,” I said, pulling out my wallet and laying down a card, “I honor my bets.” Then I leaned over the booth and kissed the top of her head, saying, “Even though it would have been on the house if you hadn’t laughed. I’ll be right back.”
That girl really is something, I thought. She had me smiling all the way to the bathroom. My smile disappeared the instant I opened the door and saw Mr. Hadley on the bathroom floor.
“Help!” I shouted, leaning out from the bathroom but not wanting to take my eyes off of him. “Call an ambulance now!”
It was the longest ten minutes of my life, sitting on the floor holding him, checking repeatedly for his faint pulse. He was so light and so limp in my arms I almost felt like I was holding a doll.
We followed the ambulance to Providence hospital in Everett, doing nearly eighty the entire way.
“I should have checked on him sooner.”
“You didn’t know, Elliot,” Estrella said.
“I should have been more aware.”
“Elliot, this is not your fault.”
“It was my idea to go to the diner.”
“Come on. That had nothing to do with it.”
“He’ll be okay. Right? I know he’s going to be okay.”
Estrella grabbed my free hand and held it, which reassured me some, but she didn’t say anything. I focused on the ambulance lights ahead of us and drove like a man trying to outrun death.
It was a long time waiting before we could get any information from anyone, other than general reassurances that they were taking care of him. We sat in the lobby and tried to take our minds off what had happened by watching the people passing through. You see a pretty good cross-section of society hanging out in a hospital lobby. I guess disease and death are democratic.
Eventually, a nurse came to get us. He looked about twelve to me, but what do I know. He was nice at least.
“Mr. Hadley is stable and awake now,” he said. “We’d like to keep him overnight, but he’s insisting on going home.”
“Is that a good idea?” I asked. “I mean, after what just happened. He must have had a stroke. Or a heart attack.”
“None of that.” The nurse shook his head. “Mr. Hadley fainted. He has low blood pressure and it appears he took too much of his pain medication. Has he been complaining of more pain lately, or has he been unusually active?”
I glanced at Estrella before answering. “Maybe. I know he was walking around without his cane and stuff.”
The nurse shrugged, as if to say What can you do?
“So, he’ll be all right, then?” I asked. “He’s fine?”
The nurse looked back and forth between Estrella and me. “You’re aware of Mr. Hadley’s condition, aren’t you? I mean, he has told you?”
“He’s told us he plans to kill himself,” I said, hoping maybe if I exposed his plan now the nurse could help me talk him out of it.
“There’s nothing suicidal about that man,” the nurse said, “I’ll vouch for that. I was a witness on his competency form. He’s been entertaining us all around here for a long time and would keep it up forever no doubt, if he could. And everyone wishes that that were the case, trust me. There aren’t many patients loved here more than Mr. Hadley.”
“So, there’s no hope, then,” I said. “Nothing we can do?”
“There is hope,” the nurse said. “Hope for quality time with people he loves. Hope for a peaceful transition. Some days will be better than others, but the symptoms will continue to get worse until the cancer runs its course or he decides he’s had enough. So, yes, there is something you can do. You can be with him. Make him comfortable. Make him feel loved. Help him die with dignity. That’s all any of us can do now.”
I’ll tell you what, he might have been young, but he was a hell of a nurse. I looked at Estrella. She had tears in her eyes. I felt like crying but I didn’t. Instead, I reached for Estrella and pulled her to me and hugged her.
“Is he really demanding to be taken home?” I asked the nurse, still hugging Estrella.
“You know Mr. Hadley,” he replied. “Says he has an appointment to keep with his wife tomorrow. It’ll be an hour or so yet before we can discharge him. I’ll send you home with some pamphlets on pain management and palliative care. We have one on what to expect at the end of life too. I’m assuming you’re taking on the role of his primary carer.”
Primary carer. I looked at Estrella, then at the nurse.
“I am?”
The nurse glanced up from his clipboard. “I asked him if it was okay to speak with you about his medical records before coming out, and he said you were not only the executor of his estate but his best friend.”
Now the tears did well up—so fast, in fact, that the nurse’s face blurred right there in front of me in the bright hospital hall.
It was late by the time we returned to Echo Glen. If there were stars out, I didn’t see them. My mind and my eyes were on getting Mr. Hadley from the car safely into the house.
I offered to go in and get the wheelchair but he insisted on walking himself. I helped him as much as he’d allow. Estrella went ahead of us and opened the door. He was groggy from whatever the hospital had given him, so I walked him down the hall toward what I assumed must be his bedroom. It was the only room left in the house I hadn’t been in yet, and as soon as I opened the door I realized the pains he’d taken to conceal just how sick he really was.
There was an oxygen machine on a cart next to the bed. An IV with a bag of saline and coils of tubes stood next to it. The dresser top was littered with pill bottles. It
almost looked like a hospital room right there tucked away in the back of that old farmhouse. His pride was either greater than I had thought or he just preferred to keep the evidence of his deteriorating condition contained within his bedroom.
I helped him lie down, taking off his shoes and covering him with an afghan.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked.
“Not unless you’ve got a time machine hidden in your pocket,” he said. He looked very tired. “You’ve done enough, Elliot. Thank you. And please tell Estrella I really enjoyed meeting her today. She’s a keeper, that one is.”
He smiled and closed his eyes.
“She’s a great girl, that’s for sure. I’ll tell her. Do you need some tea or water or anything like that?”
He didn’t answer because he was already asleep. I tucked the blanket around him and crept out into the hall, closing the door behind me. Estrella and I sat around the kitchen table, wondering what to do now. It was pretty late. Past ten for sure.
“I’m gonna stay,” I finally said. “You take my car since you have class tomorrow.”
“Where will you sleep?” Estrella asked.
“On the couch. That way I can keep the stove going and check on him every once in a while. That nurse gave me enough pamphlets to keep me in reading material for a week.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t like the idea of leaving you out here all alone without a car.”
“I’ve got my phone. I can call a cab when I’m ready to head home. I’ll probably stay a day or two at least.”
Estrella glanced at her watch. “Okay, but I’m coming back tomorrow. I’ll see if my mother can follow me out for a ride home in case you’re not ready to leave. She’ll insist on bringing you some home-cooked food anyway. You’ll see what I mean when you meet her.”
It was clear she didn’t want to leave, but it was getting late and she hadn’t exactly signed up for today’s misadventures when I’d invited her out to meet Mr. Hadley.
I walked her out to the car and we hugged by the door. For a moment I thought she might kiss me, or maybe I thought I might try to kiss her. I wanted to, sure, but it didn’t happen and that was okay. It had been a long and emotional day and it didn’t feel right to make this that kind of good-bye. But the hug felt really nice anyway.
Falling for June: A Novel Page 27