by S. Moose
“How’s Gillian?”
“She’s so perfect, baby. She’s waiting for you to wake up and hold her. I told her about you and how excited you are to see her. Perfection,” I kiss her hand. “I’m in trouble though, because she has me wrapped around her finger like you said.”
“I want to hold our daughter,” her voice croaks. “I’m ready to live this life with you. Thank you for making me fight.”
“No,” I kiss her lips. “Thank you for coming back to us.”
She smiles and everyone rushes out to get a doctor and nurse as well. I stay close while everyone gets someone to help. Looking back at her, she’s opening and closing her eyes. My girl is back. I have the world in my hands and I’m never letting go.
Never.
The doctor and nurses make sure everything’s okay with Bayleigh. Her vitals are strong, but she’s still weak. Because of this she won’t be able to leave the room to see Gillian.
When everyone leaves the room I sit down and hold her hand. “You did it, Bay.”
“I did,” she whispers. “Tell me about Gillian.”
“She’s small, but perfect. We made the perfect little girl. She looks like you. I tell her about you all the time and about us. I swear I know she’s not smiling, but it seems like she is.”
“Probably. I told you she would know your voice. I’m glad you spent time with her.”
“It was hard. I won’t lie, Bayleigh. You know,” I scoot in closer and rest my head against her hand. “I tried hard to pray and believe everything would be okay.”
“I know.” There’s silence between us. “But I’m here now and that’s what matters.”
“That’s true.” I laugh and shake my head. “I’m in so much trouble with her. My heart beats faster when I see her. When she looks at me I nearly fall to my knees. What if I make mistakes?”
“We both are, but we’ll learn and it’ll be okay.”
“She’s demanding.” We laugh and I see a smile on her face. “She’s going to be a spoiled little girl.”
“Oh she will be,” Bayleigh agrees. I cup her face and kiss her lips. “You need to see her.”
“I know,” she sadly says and that’s all I need to get up and grab the doctor.
Finding him I explain the importance of having Bayleigh see Gillian. He agrees and grabs a nurse so they can examine her. I wait in the hall and cross my arms against my chest. I can’t wait until she sees Gillian.
One of the NICU nurses, Brenda, comes to see me. She’s smiling and I know it’s going to be good news.
“Hey dad.”
“Hey,” I smile.
“So Gillian’s doing so well today and we think it’ll be okay for her to come up and see your wife.”
“Yes! Please! Let’s do that now.” I eagerly grab Brenda’s hand and sprint to the NICU. She laughs, telling me to slow down, and all I can do is go faster until I’m with my baby girl.
Walking into the room Mandy is there with Carrie and they’re smiling. They know the news and I’m glad we’ll be able to bring Gillian to Bayleigh. Making sure everything is all set, Brenda wheels our daughter to Bayleigh’s room. Doctor Wells walks out and smiles.
“She’s waiting,” he says, and pats my shoulder.
I head inside and look at Bayleigh.
“What are you waiting for?” She asks. “I want to see her.”
“What if,” I pause, and wait for her to squirm. It’s mean and she’ll kill me later. “I have a surprise.”
“What?”
Opening the door a little wider Brenda, Carrie and Mandy walk in with Gillian. I see Bayleigh’s eye go wide and tears streaming down her face. Brenda brings Gillian in her arms, while Carrie helps Bayleigh and adjusts her so she can hold our daughter. As I’m watching Bayleigh I see her eyes trained on our daughter. No one says anything. When Gillian’s in her arms I see the smile on her face and know this is just the beginning of our lives.
Bayleigh
Three Months Later
WATCHING OUR BABY girl getting her pictures taken is so cute. She’s smiling and being such a good girl. The camera loves her and she loves the camera.
I think she got that from her Aunt Mandy.
Tyler places his arm around my shoulders as we watch our baby girl smile and play in the tulle.
Every month since leaving the hospital, we come get her pictures taken. The scrapbook is full of pictures and one day when she’s old enough, we’ll show her the life we’re giving her.
Being home again after my stay in the hospital is a wonderful gift. I’m on leave from work and most likely it’ll be permanent. I want to stay home with Gillian and watch her grow. Missing the first few weeks of her life hurts me. It’s okay though, because I hold her every chance I have and rock her to sleep in the nursery.
Finishing up in the photo studio, Tyler puts our little girl in her travel car seat and buckles her safely in our new SUV. Watching him with Gillian means so much to me. He’s the best dad and loves us so much.
Placing a kiss on his back, I get in the car and we make the drive home. Gillian’s in the back babbling and I love the noises she makes.
At first Tyler drove very slow and almost got a ticket. When the cop saw our bundle of joy, he laughed and said it never gets easier. I shook my head. I really wish the cop didn’t tell Tyler that.
Everything is by the book and it’s driving me crazy. He’s overprotective, but sweet. That’s the thing about Tyler I love. He’s the type of father and husband I always knew he could be.
Making it home in one piece, Tyler lifts her up and we walk inside. Mandy comes rushing out of the kitchen and extends her arms.
“Okay, it’s my turn.” Tyler rolls his eyes and hands her over. “Oh hi, baby girl. Did you miss me? I missed you so much. Okay now, lesson number five hundred and ten: when you want something, you have to do everything in your power to get it. Never give up.” Mandy winks and I look at Tyler. He’s not liking these life lessons Mandy’s teaching her.
“Calm down,” I whisper.
“She’s turning our daughter into,” Mandy and I eye Tyler. “Well, come on. I don’t want Gillian to be that type of girl.”
“Oh whatever,” Mandy laughs. “She’ll be fine.”
Yes she will.
“Mandy, be careful.” He orders and looks at me. “Back to bed.” Instead of arguing, I listen and head upstairs to our bedroom. Lying down, I look at the picture on the nightstand. It’s the three of us.
My world.
“Get rest,” he leans down and kisses my forehead. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
Waking up from my nap, I head to the nursery and see Tyler sitting in the rocking chair with the letters in his hand. I don’t have to say anything because he knows I’m standing here with him.
“I read some of the letters,” he tells me. “I won’t read them all. I know these are your words and I know you wrote these and I appreciate it.”
“You don’t have to read the letters. At the time I wrote them I thought I wasn’t going to be here, and I’m sorry. Just wanted you to be prepared.”
“I get that.” He gets up and walks to me, placing his hands on my hips, and softly kissing my lips. “I appreciate the letters. I do. But I’m going to burn them, along with the letters to Gillian. I’ll keep the journal telling the story of us. She should know how mommy and daddy fell in love and fought to stay in love.”
“I like that idea. Let me check on Gillian and we can burn everything together.” He nods and I look at my beautiful baby girl. “Mommy loves you,” I whisper, and walk out of the nursery with Tyler.
Placing the letters into the fire pit, Tyler lights a match and we hold each other, watching my words burn in flames. It’s a funeral for what I thought would be the end of my life. Only I’m here, where I’m supposed to be.
“Have I told you how much I love you?” Tyler whispers.
“You tell me over and over, every single day, how much you l
ove me and Gillian. We love you too. Thank you for this life. Thank you for everything.”
“No, baby. Thank you for giving me the most precious gifts.”
“Gifts?”
“Your love and our daughter.”
I smile at his words and rest my head against his shoulder. This is the life we’re creating and everything’s perfect. Feeling his arms around me, feeling safe and whole, is everything I’m dreaming about.
“Let me show you how much I love you.” He whisks me away and shows me more than once how much he loves me.
Tyler
I STAND IN THE doorframe and watch Bayleigh with our daughter. She has the biggest smile on her face and I love seeing my girls together. I’m flying high and I’m never coming down from this feeling.
They’re perfection. I don’t know what I did to get the best things in life. All I know is I’m thankful and I’m glad second, third and fourth chances are given.
When Bayleigh’s sleeping, I take Gillian on a ride to see her Uncle Ryan. We visit his grave once a week and tell him stories about his niece. She loves being here. When we’re sitting down, in front of his tombstone, there’s an overwhelming peace and I can’t describe it.
“Ready to see Uncle Ryan?” She giggles and I have to laugh. She makes the best noises and I never will get tired of hearing my daughter.
Lifting her up from her car seat, I walk her to his grave and we sit down. “We’re back again, brother.” I tell him. “She’s getting so big. I bet you’re having fun up there with Dad. Thanks for watching over her, and thank you for making sure they stay here with me.”
The wind breezes through and Gillian lifts her arms in the air, laughing and reaching for something.
“You’re here, aren’t you?” I laugh. “So, things are going really well. Doctor Wells says Bayleigh is so strong and there’s nothing to worry about. Gillian’s perfect too. Honestly, it’s a miracle. She was out for so long and now there’s this energy about her that’s consuming. She’s living each day to her fullest, and we’re capturing every moment with Gillian.”
There’s never a day that goes by Bayleigh isn’t cheerful. It’s strange because a lot of first time moms get stressed and have an emotional breakdown.
Not Bayleigh.
Since coming home, she’s always up with Gillian and doesn’t complain at all. In so many ways it scares me. I don’t want her to bottle her emotions and lose it one day.
We stay with Ryan for a while longer before heading home. Walking in, we see Bayleigh sitting on the couch with the scrapbook. When she hears us come in, a bright smile is on her face, and we join her on the couch.
“How was your visit with Ryan?” she asks, and holds Gillian.
“Good. Everything’s good.” I clear my throat and look at her. “You’re handling being a new mom really well. Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she smiles. “It’s weird. I’m not stressed out or tired. Tyler, this is my chance to truly live. Life is about cherishing the moments and not living in a state of anger or stress. I know it’s weird and hard to understand. My mom and your mom thought the same thing. I don’t want to be mad or upset. I want to always be happy because that’s what our daughter deserves.”
Everything she’s saying makes sense. I should have known. I watch my girls laughing and smiling. This is how life should be.
Perfect.
Gillian
Thirty years later
“BABE, DO YOU have everything?” I look at my husband, Christian, and our twins, Vienna and Dean, sitting with flowers in their hands.
It’s my parents’ anniversary and we’re celebrating with our families today. Growing up as an only child gave me the chance to be close to my parents. Every day I watched my dad cherish my mom. They taught me how to love and accept love. So when my Godmother, Mandy, and her husband, Damon, had Christian, they raised the both of us together. We had play dates and when we were twelve, we fell in love.
All these years with the love of my life and there’s not a day that goes by I don’t cherish him and our children.
“Mommy,” Vienna calls for me.
“Yes, baby.”
“Are we almost there?” I smile and nod. “Good. Grandpa misses us and he’s mad you took us to Florida for two weeks.”
“Is that so?” Vienna nods.
“Grandpa says you’re mean,” Dean smiles and holds the flowers high in the air. “Do you think Grandma and Grandpa are going to like these flowers?”
“Yes, I do. They’re going to love the flowers and the card you made them.”
“Yay!” They raise their little arms and Christian laughs.
“My mom texted me and I guess your mom is raising hell because we’re not there yet.” I roll my eyes and smile.
My parents love their grandchildren so much. Honestly, we’re lucky to have a loving and supportive family.
When we make it to their house, the kids jump out of the car and run to the backyard. Christian and I follow and greet our parents and friends.
“You finally made it!” My mom rushes over and hugs me. “Never take my babies away for two weeks again,” she whispers, and hugs me tighter. “Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah it was great, Mom.”
“Good.” She looks at Christian while he talks to Mandy and Damon. My dad joins us with Vienna in his arms.
“So, why does my little princess tell me you’re not letting her get a dog? We got you one when you were four.”
“Dad,” I roll my eyes. “Do you know how busy we are? Between preschool and getting them to cheerleading and football, things are a little hard.” I laugh and look at Christian for help. He raises his hands in defeat. Getting into a power struggle with my dad is never a good thing.
“Princess, do you want a dog?”
“Yes grandpa! Can we get one soon?”
“Dad!”
He ignores me and yells for Dean, and asks him the same thing. I cannot believe my dad right now.
“Fine, you can get them a dog, but it has to be a small dog and you have to watch the dog too when the kids are with you.”
“That’s fine,” he smiles. “Anything for the babies, right sweetheart?” My mom agrees and we join everyone by the grill.
Mandy hands me a glass of wine and asks how things are going.
“Really good.” I tell her about the company and how quarter three ended.
Three years ago, Damon, Seth, Andy and my dad stepped down and let their kids take over the company. Andy’s daughter, Justine, handles things in London while we handle things over here. Seth and Serena have a son, Jeff, and he’s working with us too.
I hate going into work, but this is what I love to do. We’re expanding and soon I’ll be stepping down. I touch my stomach and smile.
Mandy catches me. “Gillian?” She smirks. “Do your parents know?”
“Nope. Can you cover for me? I’ll be back.” Mandy nods and I get the keys from Christian and drive to see my Uncle Ryan.
Making it to the cemetery, I grab the flowers from the passenger seat and make my way to his grave.
Growing up, I heard stories about him and how he fell in love with my mom, but passed away at an early age. He fought his tumor alone before coming home and helping my mom get on with her life.
“Hey Uncle Ryan,” I say and place the flowers on his grave. “So, I’m pregnant again. No one knows yet. Well, Mandy caught on, but there’s no surprise. I know my parents are going to love the idea of another grandchild.” I brush the leaves off his grave and feel the words on his tombstone.
“Thank you for being by my side through all the bad times.” Whenever I felt sad or alone, besides having my parents, I felt something I could never explain and when I told my mom about it, she told me it was Ryan watching over me. That reminds me of a dream that I had a very long time ago. At least, I thought it was a dream, but as I feel that same sensation again, I know it deep down in my bones. “It was you,” I whisper in awe. I don’t know
why I never connected the dots before, but I am so sure now. I laugh a little to myself. The man with the nice face that helped me get back to my family was Ryan. “It was always you. Thank you for saving me.” I look down at my barely there bump and smile because I now know just how lucky I am to have Ryan as my guardian angel. I sit down and continue to tell him about our lives and catch him up to speed.
“My parents are doing really well. They’re so in love and they adore us.” I tell him about our trip to Florida and what’s going on with the company.
“We’re heading to Colorado to see everyone.” My grandparents are getting older and they want to see their great-grandchildren too. I look over and see my grandmother, Moira’s grave. She passed away last year, and even though it was sad, she was ready to go and join my grandfather in heaven with Ryan.
“I miss you and love you.” Kissing his tombstone, I head back to the party and see my parents sitting on the porch swing, holding hands, and watching Vienna and Dean running around in the yard. When I get closer, I hear my dad talking to my mom.
“We’ve lived a good life.”
“Yes we have, Tyler,” she smiles and kisses his cheek. “Our lives are perfect. It’s our forever love.”
The even rhythm of our lives makes it all worth it. Even though there are moments of troubling times, or frustration, happiness and love always wins out. Sometimes our lives are thrown offbeat, but eventually everything returns to normal.
I feel Christian’s arms wrap around my waist as he kisses my cheek and neck. “How are you doing?”
“Good. Perfect.” I lean into him and watch our children. “Everything’s perfect.”
Be sure to sign up below for my newsletter! You’ll receive monthly exclusive news, giveaways, sneak peeks and many more!
Your information will not be shared.
http://eepurl.com/2Gm5b
Reading reviews is one of my favorite things to do! I love reading your thoughts! Please be sure to leave your review on the retailer’s site you purchased Even Rhythm from. Your constructive reviews truly help me grow. Thank you so much for letting my words into your mind and heart.