by Jillian Hart
“Then what did he come for?” Rayna sounded bewildered.
They were far from being alone and Mariah wasn’t about to let anyone overhear her conversation and make the mistaken assumption that she was mooning after Nick Gray. “I’ve taken on his laundry, that’s what. I didn’t want to do it, considering the man and how I feel about him, but business is business.”
“Mariah, I didn’t know you still disliked him so strongly.” Rayna winced. “I never would have teased you about him. I’m sorry.”
“No apology necessary.” Hiding her feelings, Mariah hesitated, not sure what to do, until someone called her from a nearby table, holding out his empty cup.
She didn’t blame Rayna. She blamed herself. Across the crowded room, a group of men were leaving. Probably heading over to the stable yard, where the dance was to be held, to help themselves to their stashes of beer and tobacco. Nick was one of those men, but to her, he always stood out in a crowd.
The last thing she ought to be doing was noticing that man. What she’d said to Rayna was true. They were not friends. She couldn’t stand Nicholas Gray. He was arrogant and domineering and stubborn… She didn’t want anything to do with him. Really.
And that was the story she intended to stick with. From this moment on she’d have no other feelings for Nick than those she had for her other customers. She would wash and rinse, starch and iron his shirts and collect her fees. That was it. That was all.
She’d never let one vulnerable feeling in. She refused to waste one more regret. Father was right, she did have a cold heart. She might as well use it to her advantage.
There Nick was, looking at her again. Jerking his gaze away to listen to his brother. Nick wasn’t sweet on her. He was probably wondering how much she planned to charge him for his laundry.
“Thanks for the refill, Miss Mariah.” Kol Ludgrin nodded coolly at the brim-full cup, and she stopped pouring.
Goodness, she’d almost forgotten what she’d been doing. And look how her gaze crossed the room right to Nick. Didn’t she have any more willpower than that? No, because he did look handsome tonight. She couldn’t deny that Nick was easy on the eyes. A woman wouldn’t get tired of looking at his face across her kitchen table. Not in a lifetime.
Not your kitchen table, she reminded herself. She wasn’t the only female looking in Nick’s direction.
Folks were finishing their desserts and leaving the tables. Children clamored through the aisles, mothers scolding, with babes on their hips. Those women had their duties. And she had hers. She was vice president of the Ladies’ Aid.
Her duties kept her occupied long after the second story of the schoolhouse emptied, and she’d spent two busy hours on the first floor, wiping down the last of the dishes. There was a dozen women who stayed to clean up, to take apart the board tables and wash the floor. Now, this was accomplishing something. Mariah treasured the rare sense of satisfaction as she packed the last dessert plate into the last basket.
“I’ll help you to the wagon with these,” she offered when Rayna bustled up to take the heavy baskets. “Let me take the bigger one.”
“What do you plan to do after loading up my wagon?”
“Load my own and go home.” What else? She had no obligations at the dance. The president of the club was in charge of that end of the fund-raiser.
“That’s simply not acceptable.” Rayna tsked, tossing the wadded towel into Mariah’s nearby basket. Trouble glinted in her narrowed gaze. “You’re coming with us. Betsy, are you ready?”
“Sure am. I’ve got rope to hog-tie her with, if that’s what it takes for Mariah to have some fun.” Longtime friend Betsy Hunter snared Mariah by one hand while Rayna took the other. “We’re all going to the dance, whether you like it or not.”
What was wrong with everyone? “I don’t dance, and you both know it.”
“You don’t have to dance,” Rayna pointed out, tugging on Mariah’s arm as they approached the stairs. “We can listen to the music.”
“That’s right,” Betsy concurred far too quickly. They’d planned this. “Old man Dayton brought his fiddle. It ought to be a real treat.”
“This wouldn’t be about Nick, would it? Please tell me you two haven’t been scheming. I don’t like the man.”
“This is about your duty as the vice president.” Betsy released her death grip and held open the wood door to the cool evening breeze. Faint strains of a fiddle rose and fell in merry delight.
“No, I’m not going.” She had no desire to see Nick swirling other women around the dance floor.
“I know how you feel about dances, but if you want a chance to be president in the next elections…”
O-oh, Betsy knew exactly what bait to use. Mariah knew she ought to get angry about this blatant use of manipulation. The truth was she did like old man Dayton’s music and she did want to be president one day.
The setting sun’s lights streaked bold purple and magenta against the sky and made the schoolhouse windows glow like a dream. Dozens of lamps and lanterns marched on stakes through the clipped-grass field, guiding their way, and the music sounded sweet and merry.
Maybe attending the dance wouldn’t be too bad. She’d treat herself to a sarsaparilla, listen to a few toe-tapping songs and then help out, if the refreshment committee needed her. She’d be too busy to notice a certain man.
The makeshift stage was lit like a Christmas tree. The call of the fiddle and the twang of a banjo made it hard to concentrate as she searched for a path through the crush of people to the refreshment tables.
“Excuse me, Mariah,” a man spoke at her side.
Surprised, her feet felt as if they’d frozen to the ground. Heart racing, she gazed up at the town gunsmith.
He held out his hand, but not to her. “Sorry, but could you step aside? I was hoping Betsy might honor me with a dance.”
Betsy blushed. “Why, no, Zeke, I couldn’t—”
What was a little disappointment? Of course he hadn’t been about to ask her to dance. What was wrong with her tonight? Mariah stepped aside. “Go on, Betsy. Have fun.”
“But—” She hesitated. Zeke took command and whisked her away.
“He’s a good dancer,” Rayna commented as the music lifted in harmony and boots tapped on the hard-packed earth.
“Yes, he is,” Mariah answered blindly. The flaring skirts on the dance floor all blurred together.
Ridiculous, watching folks dance like this. She ought to be doing something productive. Something useful. She turned her back on the merriment, heading straight for the refreshment table. Surely there was work for her to do.
There always was.
“You’re not dancing, big brother.” Will handed Nick a tin cup of lemonade.
“I didn’t come here to dance. We both know it.” The cup was cool in the heat from the crowd, and the liquid puckered his tongue. It wasn’t as satisfying as beer, but he needed a clear head right now.
He was on the hunt for a bride. A bride?
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pick out a wife, because every female here in this area was a stranger. He’d been married for a long time, and he wasn’t a man with a wandering eye. He’d been faithful to Lida every minute of their time together. Having another woman had never crossed his mind.
So, how did he start now? It felt wrong, even with Lida gone. But his children needed a mother. They all needed a woman to cook and keep house for them.
So, what did he do? Just pick one? He was at a loss.
“You look like you’re having troubles, big brother.” Will smirked, looking as though he was enjoying this. “There are lots of pretty women in this town. Lucky for me, I don’t have to settle on one. I can shop around.”
“That’s what you think. You just wait.” Nick wasn’t going to take any ribbing from his more obnoxious brother, especially when he wasn’t even wet behind the ears where love was concerned.
“I’m going to go pick a female right now, but only for one dance
.” Will polished off his lemonade. “What you need, Nick, is to get out there and start dancing. Maybe you’ll find a pretty young thing you’ll want to keep.”
Nick swirled the lemonade around in the bottom of his cup. A pretty young thing? Hardly what he considered good wife material. He’d had one of those once, and look how it had turned out.
Bitterness made the lemonade on his tongue curdle. Nope, he wasn’t going to go near one of those young marriage-minded women lined up on the other side of the dance floor, looking at him with hope in their eyes. Females like that were nothing but trouble. He wasn’t attracted to them. He didn’t want a real marriage. Those women were looking for love. Every single one of them.
Just because a woman had a pretty face didn’t mean she’d be good to his children.
The song ended, the crowd parted, and he caught sight of a blond-haired woman behind the refreshment tables, soft wisps escaped from her tight bun to curl gently around her face. A heart-shaped face that would be beautiful if it hadn’t been for the dark smudges beneath her eyes.
Mariah. She was standing behind the lemonade pail beside two elderly ladies. All three wore black. Did she have to dress like a widow? Sadness pierced him sharp as a well-honed blade. Mariah had no husband and no children, unlike the other women her age. The women dashing after children, or sitting around the tables off to the side, or holding babies and talking about whatever it was women spent hours talking about.
Mariah was dressed in black, serving lemonade.
He couldn’t help remembering the smiling young girl she’d been, once, when he’d been smitten with her. When it had hurt like a punch to the jaw to look at her.
He couldn’t say why he slammed his cup onto the corral rail and left it there, or why his feet carried him through the crowd and past the dance area to the tables beyond. He only knew he was doing the right thing. He felt it down deep.
As he approached the refreshment table, he overheard Widow Collins. “I hear he’s hunting for a wife. That’s why that man’s here tonight.”
“What man?” Widow White adjusted her spectacles.
“That oldest Gray brother.” Widow Collins tsked. “Those Grays have always been trouble on two legs.”
Trouble, huh? Maybe that was a sign. Maybe I should turn around right now. Before Mariah sees me.
It was too late. Mariah plunked the tin dipper into the pail, staring up at him, her gaze surprised beneath thick lashes. Then amusement curved the soft corners of her mouth.
Amazing. He’d forgotten her smile. How it could light her up from the inside and make her as soft as an angel. Funny how he’d forgotten that after all this time.
“Nicholas Gray.” Mariah sounded as cold as stone. “Parched from hunting for a wife? Have some lemonade.”
He held up both hands. “Not looking for lemonade. But I would like a dance with you.”
“With me?” The dipper tumbled from her fingers and clanged against the tin pail. “Oh, I see. This is about Georgie, isn’t it? You’re asking me out of a sense of obligation. The same reason you hired me to do your laundry.”
He blinked. What was she saying? What obligation? “I saw you standing here. Noticed you’ve been working all evening. Thought you might like a spin on the dance floor. Listen, they’re just starting up a waltz.”
Mariah stared at him as if she found him less than worthy of a single, obligatory waltz. Was asking a woman to dance always this nerve-racking?
“I don’t approve of this close dancing.” Widow Collins shook her head as she rescued the dipper from the depths of the lemonade bowl. “It gives young people all sorts of ideas. And at their age, they have enough of them. Mr. Dayton promised me there would be no more than two waltzes the whole night.”
“Scandalous,” Widow White agreed. “Mariah, I highly suggest you wait for a nice schottische. Something more decent than a waltz.”
Nick could see Mariah wavering. He had to convince her now, before the widows said another word. “After all these years, you’re still the prettiest girl here. Dance with me.”
“Me? Dance with you?” she repeated.
“I dare you to.” He flashed her that grin, the one that made the dimples stand out in his cheeks and his eyes twinkle.
Mariah felt its effect all the way to her toes. She was a sensible, practical spinster well past the fancies of youth. She was helpless to say no.
Out of the corner of her eye, Mariah could see the widows close together, stunned into silence. Beyond them the colorful women’s dresses swirled in time to the music. What did she do? She could stay here where she belonged and not make a fool of herself. Then she’d watch another woman dance in Nick’s arms.
This time, she wouldn’t be left out.
He was waiting for her answer, one brow crooked in question, one hand held out, palm up. His fingers were broad and strong and warm when she touched him.
She wasn’t aware of weaving through the tables or walking toward the stage, where the banjo and fiddle made music beneath the open sky. She knew only the weight of his hand in hers and the shivery feeling drifting through her. As if something wonderful was about to happen.
As if in a dream, Nick Gray pulled her to him. Not touching, exactly, but so close she could see the smooth skin of his shaven jaw and smell the night air on his shirt.
“Just close your eyes,” he whispered, his breath warm against her ear, “and follow me.”
She placed her hand on his shoulder, as strong as steel, and let him whirl her to the sway of the music beneath the light of the rising moon.
Chapter Four
If only this dance would never end.
Mariah closed her eyes, savoring the wonder of it. With Nick’s hand at her waist, they moved together as harmoniously as the music. In a sweeping, gentle rhythm that felt like the heart of a dream. Slow and steady, and as light as air.
So this is what dancing feels like. Dancing in the arms of Nicholas Gray. Breathless. Exhilarating. She was intoxicated with it. The stars overhead were more brilliant than diamonds. The music from Mr. Dayton’s fiddle sweeter than any she’d ever heard. And the man who held her was more captivating than she wanted to admit.
“You’re as light as the music, Mariah. You’re a good dancer.”
“You sound surprised. I may be off the shelf, but I can waltz. I am surprised that you’re not tripping over your feet. Or my toes.”
“Go ahead and tease me. I’m man enough to take it.”
You are all man. She bit her tongue so the words wouldn’t accidentally slip out. His shoulder was pure iron beneath her fingertips, and just the feel of him was…masculine. There was no other word to describe him, staring at his chest, so muscled and solid and…
Down low, her stomach fluttered.
It wasn’t because she was attracted to him, to this man she hated. Because she did hate him. She really did. And he disliked her with equal force. He’s simply doing me a favor, dancing like this, for saving his child’s life. Remember that.
When this brief dance was over, his duty done, he would escort her back to the punch table where she belonged. She couldn’t fault him for that. Then he’d choose a prettier, younger woman to dance. One he would court and marry.
That won’t be you, Mariah. Disappointment dug into her heart, but she refused to think about it. She stared hard at the button at Nick’s collar. A thread holding it had frayed, and it could come loose. She’d have to remember that when she found this shirt in the next batch of laundry, and sew it on snug and tight. She always prided herself on doing a thorough job, the best in town, and never charged extra for the small touches. Yes, she’d do well to remember that button.
“That was a mighty fine chicken potpie you made. Rayna Ludgrin made a point of telling me you’d cooked it.”
“I’m glad you thought so.” It figured that he’d talk about food. See? He wasn’t out to charm her. She knew that. Then why did it hurt so much?
“I enjoyed your angel food cake, too
. Rayna took it upon herself to make sure I got a slice. I can’t figure out why.” He sounded amused, not on defense.
“She’s a busybody who can’t mind her own business, that’s why.” And a dear friend, Mariah didn’t add, touched at her friend’s thoughtfulness. Rayna didn’t understand that Nick Gray wouldn’t want her. “I’m glad you enjoyed the cake. It’s my mother’s family recipe. Maybe that would make a fine wedding gift for your new bride. The one everyone says you’re here to find.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s why I’m here.”
He sounded so sad. Mariah’s heart punched with regret. She should have treated him better, even if she didn’t like him. He’d lost a wife he loved. “I’m sorry for your loss. I never had the chance to tell you.”
The strong shoulder muscles beneath her fingertips stiffened. He paused, letting the music move between them for a few short beats, his breath harsh, ruffling the tendrils at her temple, as if he were in terrible pain.
She ached for him. Maybe she’d been wrong to bring it up.
When he spoke, his voice was strained. “I never sent a note around for the food you prepared for the wake. I should have thanked you.”
“You didn’t need to. I understand. It’s a sad time.”
He simply nodded in response, his jaw brushing against her forehead. The fiddle sang sweetly, without a care in the world, but she could feel his heart, heavy and hurting. She laid her hand there, in the center of his chest, on the warm, hard, heat of him and felt the steady beat of his pulse. So much pain.
How was it that she could feel what was inside him? She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to watch as he chose another woman to marry, another woman to take his name, to live with him, to lie with him warm in his bed at night, to be loved by him, body and soul.
Anytime now Nick was going to release her, his duty done. She was prepared for it. She stared hard at the button on his collar, the one she intended to fix. Hardening her heart against the inevitable. She could see the younger women in the crowd watching him with hopeful eyes. Which pretty one would he pick to marry next?