I didn’t get back to campus until one in the morning.
When I opened the door to the dorm room, Tanit jerked awake, pulling a sheet to her chest and breathing so heavy you’d think I had a gun pointed at her.
“What’s wrong?” I immediately shut the door and started searching the room, the closet first, because it was the obvious hiding spot, then under the beds, when I glanced up at her, she was frowning. “What?”
“Are you looking for the boogeyman?”
“No.” I scowled. “You seemed scared, threatened. I was looking for the bad guy.” I offered a smile.
“Funny.” She gulped. “Since I’m pretty sure I’m looking at him.”
“I’m not bad,” I said quickly, hating the lie. “I’m just not all good.”
“Is anyone?”
“Doubtful.” I stood, towering over her bed, then held up my hand. “Give me one minute…”
I went over to one of my duffels and pulled out the white horse, then very slowly handed it over to her.
She frowned, “What’s this?”
A clue.
A hint.
A test.
“Nothing.” I shrugged. “Just thought it could help you sleep at night.”
She looked down at it, and then a single tear slid down her cheek before she whispered, “I’m going to die aren’t I?”
I sucked in a breath. “Why would you say that?”
“This… it’s a symbol.”
Hell, she knew more than she should.
“How would you know?” I said dumbly.
“I’m going to go to sleep now.”
“Tanit… what do you need to tell me?”
“I’m tired.” She turned on her side.
I leaned over her body, my lips grazed her ear as I whispered, “You’re safe… for now… with me. Double-cross me, and this will be the last thing you ever see.”
I hated myself.
I hated the mafia.
I hated my life.
Sweet. Freaking. Dreams.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Tanit
I wish I could say I didn’t sleep with one eye open.
That I wasn’t completely freaked out over what had just transpired between me and Dom.
I was.
I was transported back to the time when I’d lie awake at night and listen to my parents fight over what was right, what was wrong. I was in that moment again, where I prayed my blankets would cover my body so fully that nobody would find me, that even a bullet wouldn’t penetrate.
If it ever came to that.
I hated them for what they put me through.
And part of me felt like something was wrong with my makeup — with my DNA — that I would be somehow attracted to someone else who promised the same.
I wasn’t sure when I finally fell asleep.
Two a.m.? Three?
But I woke up to music playing in the background. Was that Beyoncé?
And a steaming cup of coffee on my nightstand, right along with the damn white horse that Dom had given me the night before.
I wasn’t stupid.
I knew what it meant.
What it represented.
Treachery.
Betrayal.
A rat.
I eyed it and then very carefully grabbed the cup of coffee next to it, afraid if I touched it, that would be my fate too. I’d heard stories of how they dropped that white horse into coffins, onto beds, into houses, before everything went to hell, and I wanted no part of it.
“Sleep well?” Dom asked as he typed furiously on a laptop I would have bet millions of coffees didn’t exist a few hours ago when he said he was suddenly moving into my dorm.
“Um, no, not at all, I have a psychopath living with me in my room who’s related to some of the scariest people I’ve ever seen, so no, no I did not sleep well, not after getting threatened, not after fearing for my life, the answer is no.”
He shrugged. “Long-ass answer.”
“What are you doing?” I shoved the sheets aside and stood, wiping my face with my hands and making my way over to him. I was already dead, what was one more offense?
“Reading.” He sighed. “I love books.”
I stared at his back, confused more than anything. “Why are you reading books on your computer?”
“I forgot my Kindle.” He sighed like he was actually sad about it, “And I’m a tired idiot who forgot about the app on my phone, why else would I read on my computer?” He turned and grinned at me. “This shit is good.”
“Uh-huh.” I would not get lost in his eyes. I would not bend. I would not kneel. I would be the epitome of self-control. “I need to get dressed.”
He leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head like he owned the freaking room. “So dress?”
“Alone.”
“We’re alone.”
“Without you.”
“No can do, cupcake.” His grin was getting on my last nerve. “But I will turn around, just so you don’t get hot and bothered when I lick my lips and moan your name.”
My hands balled into fists. “That’s offensive.”
He grinned wider. “I rarely apologize.”
“Shocker.” I stomped over to my closet and grabbed the Eagle Elite uniform, irritated I had to wear it, and embarrassed that I was going to be dressing in the same room as a boy — wait, not a boy, a man, an attractive man who made my blood boil. “Turn around.”
He did.
I exhaled in relief and probably set records for how quickly I got dressed.
When I’d finally shoved on my jacket, I felt hands on my arms, slowly, so slowly, running from my shoulders down to my hands before, he leaned in and whispered, “Perfect.”
I jerked away. “I have class.”
“I’ll walk you.”
“Not,” I moved faster toward the door, “necessary.” I jerked it open to every single girl on my floor watching me, doors open, coffee in hand, eyes wide.
Dom leaned over me, his hand bracing the door frame, his other hand on my shoulder. “Yeah, I’m going to have to disagree with you on that one, sweetheart.” He winked, “After you?”
“Who the hell are you?” I grunted, “I mean other than the obvious.”
“King,” he finally said in a whisper. “Let me put it this way, the godfather goes bye-bye, and you’re looking at the shiny new replacement.”
I gawked, and then tripped. He caught my elbow just as the girl nearest me sighed.
“The godfather.” I repeated.
“Tex Campisi, the one and only, though I think it pisses him off when you say godfather instead of Capo.”
My eyes burned.
My chest ached.
“The one who killed my father’s best friends?”
“He kills everyone’s friends. It’s what he does. To keep order. Best remember that next time you try to argue.” He hit the elevator button, and I jerked away toward the farthest corner.
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” I said defensively.
“Ah, Tanit.” He sighed like he was actually sad. “Your father delivered you to the devil. May God watch over your soul.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Dom
My days went like this.
Watch Tanit go to class.
Talk up Tanit to other students.
Find out info on Tanit via Sergio’s creepy stalker programs.
Make sure Tanit gets back to her room without getting shanked or shot.
Watch Tanit.
With Tanit.
Freaking. Watch. Tanit. Sleep.
It took five days of trying to be normal for me to crack. I’m not even sure what caused the change, but I felt it in the wind. I saw it in the way the leaves skipped across the grass, carried higher and higher until they hit the sidewalk, collided with her shoes, and then tried to stick into her dark silky hair.
Maybe it was the way the sunlight lit up her hair, or the orange leaves.
But I suddenly wanted…
More.
More than the stalking.
More than sleeping with one eye open.
More than the threats.
Damn it, I wanted more of her luscious mouth.
And.
I.
Was.
Desperate.
“Nice leaf.” I picked it out of her hair. “How have classes been this week?”
Her pretty eyes narrowed. “You should know. You get reports from my professors.”
I chuckled and looked at her straight in the eyes. “Now, how the hell would you know that?”
“I forgot my cell, went back to grab it, saw a knife pushed against one of my prof’s throats, and then the words, ‘how is she doing’ just randomly flew out of your mouth. Either you’re keeping up with me, or you have a whole harem of girls you watch over. Which is it?” She took a step toward me, then stood on her tip toes like she was desperately trying to see eye to eye.
Not a chance in hell princess.
I had at least six inches on her.
If not more.
I smirked down at her. “It’s cute how you listen for my voice… wait behind in class for me, even make sure I’m asleep before you fall asleep.”
Her chin quivered.
“Admit it.” I moved closer until we were chest to chest. “You’re too afraid to go to sleep at night, so afraid in fact, that I’d wager those dark circles,” I touched the top of her cheeks, “have nothing to do with homework and everything to do with me sleeping a few feet away from you.” I pushed the hair away from her face. “Tell me, do you think about my kisses? My mouth? Hmm?” I leaned forward until my lips were a breath away from her ear and whispered, “Do you dream about crawling into my bed? Stripping me naked and letting me suck away all that fear and sadness you’re hell bent on keeping wrapped around that sexy body of yours?”
Tanit gasped and shoved at my chest. I caught her hand and drew her closer, pressing her palm against my uniform. “Feel that? Feel that beat?” I closed my eyes for a brief moment and just let myself feel the heat from her hand. “It’s yours.”
Her lips trembled.
I wanted to catch them with my teeth. Show her things she’d never seen before, whisper secrets into her ear. I wanted to trust.
And believe that it was worth my life.
She didn’t take the bait. Didn’t lean in and kiss me, didn’t move.
I wanted the other students to visibly see me stake my claim.
Instead she was frozen in place.
One week and I hadn’t earned jack shit.
And yet it felt like I’d done everything, because in this world, your life meant knowledge and I’d already given her the freaking upper hand by revealing myself, my family, the marker.
And there she was. Trembling.
Wanting.
Immobile.
“Walk with me.” I gripped that same hand that had tenderly pressed against my chest.
She followed. Wordless.
We walked in silence.
Until we found… The Spot. The Space. Hell? Whatever you wanted to call it. We all had different names for it, for different eras, different times.
I unlocked the door to the warehouse on campus and shoved her inside. “What do you see?”
She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. I tried to imagine what it made her feel, the bloody hand prints, the RIP journals with death dates, but most of all I wondered what she felt about the roses.
The white roses.
The ones that were left in the same spot.
Every year.
Without fail.
On the anniversary of her death.
“Is that—” Tanit shook her head as tears ran down her face. “Is that her grave?”
“It’s her memorial,” I said in a hushed voice. “It’s the picture of true love, a love that wasn’t strong enough in this life.”
“And the next life?” Tanit whipped around and faced me. “What then? Is it strong enough then?” Tears filled her eyes then poured onto her cheeks. “Will it be enough then? When will all of this death ever be enough?” She pounded on my chest, once, twice. I caught her wrist the third time and sighed.
Her face was pale.
Her lips parted.
“Never,” I whispered hoarsely. “Because revenge is ongoing, just like betrayal. It causes a ripple effect that never concedes, never surrenders. Throw one rock into the water and it will ripple, it will grow, it will become a beast, won’t it?”
She snapped her jaw shut.
“Tanit.” I pulled her into my embrace. “Give me one reason to trust you. One reason to let you out of this building and back into your dorms. One reason to kiss you senseless, not because it’s part of my damn job, but because I truly want to believe that this isn’t the type of legacy you want to leave behind. That this, this is the life you want no part of because you choose to rise above it. So tell me…”
She opened and shut her mouth then lowered her gaze to the floor as she whispered, “I can’t.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Dom
I felt her fear.
Could taste it in the air.
I pulled her body back against mine as I wrapped an arm around her middle and sighed into her hair. “Should I kill you then?”
She tensed, and then relaxed in my arms like she expected it, like she knew it had always been coming for her — death.
“Is that what you want?” I pointed with my free hand to the memorial, to the bloody hand prints littering the wall, to the sickness of it all. “To simply stop existing?”
She gulped and then whispered, “My death wouldn’t matter, just like my life.”
“That’s the saddest damn thing I’ve ever heard.” I tightened my grip on her then turned her in my arms, tilting her chin toward my face. “As long as air fills your lungs — you matter, and even when the heart stops beating — you matter.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Tell me, would you believe that about yourself if you were abandoned, dropped right into your enemies’ hands?”
I hesitated, unsure of how much to tell her. “Your father is loving you the best way he can — far away.”
“He just doesn’t want to die,” she admitted. “And here I thought fresh start! New school, new life, new friends.”
“I’m offended.” I leaned in. “Aren’t I your friend?”
“You’re…” She hesitated. “Something.”
Our foreheads touched. “What am I going to do with you?”
She licked her lips, her eyes darting to my mouth.
With a groan, I pulled away from her, slipped my gun from its holster, and pointed it at her head. “One reason, Tanit. I just need one. Show me your fight, show me something.”
A single tear ran down her cheek before her small voice broke through the tense silence. “I’m not guilty of my parents’ sins.”
I dropped the gun so fast it almost fell out of my hands.
The world felt like it was at a standstill while I watched her watch me, while her eyes blinked back enough tears to fill my cupped hands.
I took a step toward her, then another.
I put my gun away.
I grabbed her by the shoulders and said in a gravelly voice. “Neither am I.” I brushed a kiss across her lips. “Let’s go to class.”
For some reason she listened. She grabbed my hand, she leaned her head on my shoulder like I hadn’t just held her at gunpoint. I’d needed answers from her, and I refused to bring betrayal back into the family.
That was how messed up the last ten years had been for our families.
Nobody talked about it.
But it was felt everywhere, the constant doubting, and the constant power struggle between everyone.
It was as if the day one of our own h
urt us — everyone became a suspect.
Me included.
It brought a hardness to everyone’s demeanor — Nixon had always been a scary son of a bitch but now, I knew not to push him or I’d see my spleen waving at me from the ground.
And Tex? Well, brother dearest probably wanted me dead and prayed for me to trip over a bomb.
I sighed.
Family.
Blood in, no out. Right.
There was no out.
And the ones that took it — didn’t live to tell about it.
Tanit stopped walking.
I frowned down at her, lost in my thoughts, and then followed her gaze all the way to him.
Fuuuuuck.
His gait was slow, purposeful, his expression hard. When he finally stopped in front of us, I knew I was either going to get shot, knifed, or both.
“Chase.” I inclined my head.
He eyed Tanit, tilting his head to the right and then the left before he flicked open a knife and handed it to me. “You do it, or I will.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Tanit
I thought I’d known fear when men came to our house and yelled at my dad, waving guns around.
I thought I knew fear when he dropped me off at this college and basically left me to defend myself.
I thought I knew fear when Dom held a gun to my head.
Or maybe when I saw every enemy my father ever spoke of, drinking wine and discussing life like mine wasn’t just about to end.
That was nothing.
It wasn’t even fear.
It was a flicker.
This. This was fear.
Looking into this man’s blue gaze, this was what nightmares were made of. I clung to Dom in a way that was almost indecent.
The air around me twisted and burned as I tried to suck in a breath and stay calm. I’d always been able to appear calm, it was what I did. But for the first time in my life, I felt the darkness I was looking into in such a cold, icy way, that I started counting the seconds until the knife met my skin and cut.
“Chase.” Dom sounded annoyed. “Let me ask you a question.”
Chase nodded once.
“Do you trust me?” Dom said smoothly. “Do you trust my blood? Who I am? What I represent?”
Chase licked his lips as his jaw visibly tightened, and slowly, he lowered the knife, and looked down at the ground, his entire body strung like a tight drum of muscle packed on muscle. “Yes.”
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