I thought we were exclusive. She pointed out that she’d never made that claim.
I loved her while she loved my heart and how I watched out for her.
The final blow was when she said that I sucked in bed. Patty wanted all the other parts of me but needed lovers on the side.
The guys don’t know that part. They just know we broke up and that it was ugly. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truly humiliating part.
It’s not like I haven’t dated other girls, but they are safe ones. Girls that won’t fall for me and more importantly, girls I won’t fall for. It’s better that way and when it doesn’t work, we just move on. We have a good time and when it’s over, it’s over. I care and do my best to make sure they enjoy the sex as much as I do, but if we don’t mesh, because not everybody does, it doesn’t crush me either.
“This has nothing to do with Patty.” Except, it had everything to do with her.
I want Mary but I’m not going there. I could fall hard for Mary, and I don’t want it to end like it did with Patty so it’s better not to go there at all.
“Tell that to someone who will believe you.” He shakes his head again. “Patty was a lying bitch. We told you that from the start.”
She was, I get that now, but I didn’t see it then. Not that Mary is the same. I don’t think she has it in her to be a cold-hearted bitch, but I still don’t want to open myself up to her and have it crash and burn. “Look. I’ve got too much going on. I don’t have time to be distracted right now.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Distracted? You sit at home and write all day.”
Which is proof he has no idea that writing is not easy. “How many distractions do you like when you’re working on a new song?” Christian is a saxophone player and damn good. He’s written all of the original songs his band performs. They just cut their second single, but neither song has taken off yet. At least, not that I’m aware of.
“That’s different. You write food articles after eating out.”
I write other things too. “Novel.” I remind him.
“Perhaps if you published one it would be different.”
“I’m also looking for Nina.” I finally say. “I’m going to child services today for answers.”
“Oh man. I forgot. She turned 18 yesterday.”
“Yep.” It’s no secret to the guys that I’ve been looking for my family.
“Want me to go with you?”
“I got it.”
He grabs an apple from the bowl and tosses it in the air after he refills his cup of coffee. “Start taking chances, Dylan.”
“What?”
“You used to take chances. You had dreams.”
“I do.”
“Novel. Mary. Neither of which you are doing anything with.”
It’s not as easy as he makes it sound. Sure, I have four novels sitting and waiting, but they aren’t good enough to publish. They might not ever be, but that doesn’t mean I can stop writing.
“Don’t let Patty ruin the rest of your life.”
With that he’s gone.
Am I letting Patty ruin everything?
I did close down after her. If there wouldn’t have been a Patty would I put my writing out there? Would I be running from Mary?
Did I let her screw with my confidence that much?
Mia is awake when I crack the door open. “Mind if I come in?”
“Not at all.”
“The guys think you’re asleep.”
“That’s what I want them to think.”
I check for a fever and then her pulse. “How are you doing?”
“I hurt like hell.”
“That’s to be expected.”
“Did they ask you anything?” There’s worry in her green eyes.
“Not yet, but they probably will.”
“They know what happened though, right?”
I nod. “Some.”
“They’ll want to know everything. Down to the last detail.”
“I assume. What do you want me to tell them?”
Mia rolls onto her back then winces and rolls over to her side. “You can tell them whatever they want to know. All of it or they won’t leave me alone. But, make sure they know I don’t want to talk about any of this. Ever.”
Inwardly I sigh. I didn’t want to have to keep stuff from them, especially when the guys care so much, but I would have to protect Mia’s privacy if she insisted. Just because we aren’t in the hospital doesn’t mean I can violate HIPAA. Besides, somebody who lives here needs to be looking out for her physically, emotionally, and mentally. She was attacked and it’s not just the physical injuries I’m worried about.
“Is there anything I can get for you?”
“Drugs,” she groans.
I check the time. She can have the next pain pill in fifteen minutes. The bottles are on the night stand with a glass of water with a straw in it. She shouldn’t have the pills within reach, but fifteen minutes isn’t going to hurt anything.
After she takes the pills and drinks some water she relaxes back against the pillows, turned slightly to keep the pressure off her back where her stitches are.
“Kelsey says you think Dylan’s hot,” Mia says taking me by surprise.
My face heats. Kelsey can keep her mouth shut, which I will tell her later.
“You should go after him.”
Maybe she knows Dylan likes her and wants him not to and is offering me up as an alternative. “Don’t think so. I’m pretty sure he just tolerates me because of Kelsey.”
Mia narrows her green eyes. “You sure?”
“Yep. Pretty sure.”
“Hmmm. He gets a look when your name is mentioned.”
He does? I don’t voice the question but I sure as hell wonder about it. “I thought maybe you two had something but couldn’t figure it out because of Stone being in the picture.”
She snorts. “Hardly.”
“You should have seen the worry and love on his face in the hospital. Are you sure?”
Mia gives me a half smile, it’s kind of sleepy too. “I’ve known Dylan since high school. He’s a brother I never had. That’s all there is. We are all close, but not like that.” She yawns. “I think he might be interested in you.”
“It’s irritation. Trust me.” I straighten her blankets. I don’t want to talk about Dylan. “You need to sleep. Call me if you need anything at all.”
“I don’t know your number.” She presses her password into her phone and then hands it to me. I add my contact information.
“Thanks for taking care of me, Mary.”
“Get some sleep, Mia.”
Her eyelids are already drifting closed. They have her on some powerful stuff for the next few days, and she’s going to need it.
Taking the pills, I head back downstairs. All the guys and Kelsey are still there, except Sean.
“Somebody needs to be in charge of these so she doesn’t take too many or at the wrong time.”
“Why?” Ryan asks with alarm.
“They’re just strong and Mia might forget that she’s already taken them. She doesn’t need an accidental overdose with everything else.”
He relaxes. What was he worried about? Is she a suicide risk? I so didn’t get that from her.
“I’ll put them in the kitchen.”
“There’s your coffee.” Kelsey gets a cup from the dining room table and hands it to me.
“Thanks.” I’m going to need this to stay awake until I can go back home.
“What are her injuries?” Zach finally asks. “We need to know what happened.”
I blow out a sigh. “I’m only telling you because she gave me permission.” These guys need to understand that just because they want to know something, doesn’t mean it will be told. Confidences are one of the most important things to me, and I hold them close. “Lacerations on her arms, shoulders, and back. She has a deep cut on her back that required eight stitches. A couple of bruised ribs, welts and lacer
ations on her butt.” All the guys stiffen as their hands fist. If Stone walked in here right now, he’d be a dead man. “Stone came over, talked her into sex. When it was done, she tried to break up with him. He struck her and when she tried to get away, he hit her again. Before she could get back up…” I look at them and pray they don’t kill the messenger. “He threw her on the bed and then whipped her with his belt.”
They just gape at me.
“When he was done, and distracted, Mia hit him upside the head with a lamp, got dressed, and got out of there.”
“Good girl!” Zach nods.
“She does not want to talk about what happened or her injuries, any of it.”
I look at each one of them pointedly until they finally nod.
“Hey, do you mind hanging out today?” Zach asks. “We won’t know what to do if something happens.”
“She’ll probably sleep most of the time,” I assure him.
“But what if she needs something?” Ryan asks.
These guys are really worried about not being able to take care of Mia. It’s kind of sweet. “Sure. I didn’t want to go back to my place before dinner anyway.”
“Why so late?” Kelsey asks.
“That’s when they have plans and then a party so I’ll be able to finally sleep in peace.”
“Dinner for them doesn’t start until 7 at one of their expensive restaurants. You’ll only get 3 hours tops,” Kelsey reminds me.
“Sleep in Dylan’s bed,” Alex says.
“My bed?” he counters in surprise.
“You gave mine away yesterday. I’m giving yours away today.” Alex grins.
“That’s okay guys, I can stay awake.”
“No,” Christian says. “Take his bed. It’s on the same floor as Mia’s. That way you can be close if she needs anything.”
I really do want to get some sleep, and she is going to be out for a few hours at least, but I’m not going to get in the bed of the one guy who doesn’t want me near his bed, even if it is only to sleep.
“He’s right,” Dylan says after a minute. “You need rest and Mia needs you.”
“Are you sure?” This is for Mia, of that I’m certain. “You didn’t get any sleep either.”
“He doesn’t sleep,” Christian says. “We’re pretty sure he’s part vampire.”
Dylan shoots him an irritated look. “Let me just get a few things and it’s all yours. I’ve got to be out anyway.”
8
No matter how many times I’ve been to child services, it never changes. Loud, noisy, and full of people. I stop at the long, old wooden counter that stretches almost the width of the room. Behind me, mothers, fathers, and kids sit on benches that look more like church pews. Beyond the counter are desks. Lots of desks and each one of them has a computer, a phone, and are piled high with file folders. The disorganization and chaos sets my nerves on edge. There is barely enough of an area to work after each employee adds their own touches of plants, pictures, and trinkets. I wouldn’t last a day in here. It reminds me too much of growing up with my parents who kept stuff everywhere and on every available surface. We barely had paths to walk through from one room to another.
“Ah, Mr. White, why am I not surprised to see you?”
Mrs. Bailey has been running the counter for as long as I can remember.
“My sister turned 18 yesterday. I’ve come to find out where I can reach her.”
“Her caseworker is out,” she reminds me.
Mrs. Hood, my former caseworker, finally retired at the beginning of December. Not that she’s been mine for a while, but she was still the caseworker for Noah, Nina, and Jade, so we stayed in touch. Her files were handed off to a Mrs. Parker, whom I’ve never met or spoken to, and who went on bed rest within 2 weeks of being assigned. There is no way in hell that I’m going to wait another three months to find Nina.
“I know that, but I’m an adult, as is my sister now.”
“It’s still private information that cannot be released. Your caseworker will need to make any determination on privacy or go before a judge.”
This is the same runaround that I’ve gotten before. “Who is taking over her cases while she’s out?”
“Phyllis Kragen.” She nods to the older woman in the back corner talking on the phone.
Fuck! Mrs. Kragen scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. A no-nonsense black woman who could make you shit your pants with just a stern look over the rim of her glasses. I bet the kids who came under her care never stepped out of line.
I’m probably not going to get anywhere with her either. She’s got to be close to retirement too, and she is just as protective of her kids as Mrs. Hood had been.
But, that doesn’t mean I’m giving up either, even if she is intimidating as hell. “I’ll wait.”
I watch as Mrs. Bailey writes my name and Nina’s on a slip of paper and takes it back to Mrs. Kragen before I take a seat on a pew next to Christian. I had told him he didn’t need to come with me, but he insisted.
“You know, sometimes I look around places like this and wonder if one of the women could be my mom, or a guy my dad, or one of the kids a brother or sister,” Christian says.
His words take the wind out of my frustration. Even though I can’t find my brother or sisters, and I know exactly where my parents are, Christian has nothing. He was left by a dumpster, barely a few hours old with only a note. “Sorry, man.”
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t toss me out like garbage.”
I glance over at the desk. Mrs. Kragen is still on the phone.
“How’s the band going? The record?”
“It’s going.”
That’s a strange response. Usually he’s excited to talk about his music…except lately he hasn’t said much of anything.
Damn, I’ve been so focused on finding Nina, the holidays, and writing that I didn’t notice the change in him. “What’s going on?”
“Thinking about going it alone or finding another band.”
I knew that he didn’t always get along with the other band members, but he never thought of quitting before. At least not that I’m aware of.
“They’re pushing our agent to get us on a tour.”
“You don’t want that?”
“Look, I spent my life moving from house to house until I landed at Baxter. I lived out of a backpack, never really knowing where I’d sleep that night, or how long I’d be in one place.”
I did the same but not nearly as long as Christian had.
“I’m settled. We have a house, even if it is rented. For the first time, I really have a place of my own. Not a room I’m using at a boarding school, a dorm at college, or a small house we rented near campus. We aren’t going to get kicked out because the house is getting fixed up and we are saving the owners a fortune. I don’t want to go back to fucking living out of a suitcase and sleeping in a different bed or on a bus every night.”
“I get it.” I totally do.
“I want the dream.”
“What dream?” I ask slowly. I thought I knew what his dream was—to write music, plays his sax, and make it big one day.
“A wife and a mortgage.” He laughs. “I need to find a girl first, and then lots of kids.”
I’ve never heard Christian talk like this.
“Alex and Kelsey have something good.”
“They haven’t been together all that long,” I remind him. I was with Patty for almost a year and thought we had something good. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Alex and Kelsey haven’t even been together two months.
“Theirs is forever,” Christian insists with confidence. “I want that, the kids, the house, the mortgage. All of it.” Not that Kelsey and Alex have kids or a mortgage. Well, Kelsey has a kid, but she gave her baby up for adoption.
“How many kids?” How big does this dream go?
“Half a dozen or so. As many as possible.”
“That’s easy for you to say, you ain’t the one who has to
carry them before pushing them out,” a woman to the side of him says.
Christian chuckles. “I’ll take that under advisement.”
Mrs. Kragen finally hangs up the phone, and I stand, push down my nerves, gulp, and step to the counter.
After Kelsey and I talk for a bit, I head upstairs for bed. The guys didn’t get much sleep last night, except for Sean and Alex, the only ones who didn’t go out from what I understand, and Dylan woke everybody up after he got Mia home from the hospital to tell them what happened.
I close the door behind me and look across the room. Dylan’s bed, without Dylan in it. This is about as close as I’m going to get to sleeping with him.
After dropping my bag, I kick off my shoes and then remember that I didn’t pack pajamas. Well, it isn’t like I actually planned on sleeping here again.
With a sly smile, I strip down completely and slip between the cool sheets of his bed and imagine what it would be like if only he’d join me.
How many women have enjoyed this bed? Or, enjoyed Dylan in this bed? He’s too hot and sexy not to be a great fuck. Something about him makes me think that he’s very attentive to his bed partners. A guy doesn’t cook and take care of his friends the way Dylan does without also making sure his bed partner isn’t getting his undivided attention.
I’ve never had a guy with a beard go down on me before. Would it tickle or scratch my inner thighs? I’d love to find out.
He also has those long fingers and tight ass.
Damn, just thinking about and wondering what it would be like if he was naked in bed with me makes me hot.
I bet he has a talented tongue or fingers or both.
My clit starts to throb and my nipples get tight. Damn, it’s been so long since I’ve been involved with anyone, I’m not sure I even remember what it’s like to have their hands and mouth finding the most sensitive parts of my body. All I’ve had lately is my lipstick vibrator and that’s exactly what I need right now. Except, that’s back at my apartment, tucked away in a drawer.
Rolling over I punch a pillow and close my eyes. It smells like Dylan. Clean, fresh, and masculine with a hint of cinnamon and vanilla. I breathe in deeply through my nose, hold the scent, and then blow out through my mouth.
Rattle His Cage: The Baxter Boys #4 (The Baxter Boys ~ Rattled) Page 5