Zach and I share a look. I’ve never seen Mary actually pissed about something. Unfortunately, everything she’s said is true. Some rulings lately have been barely a slap on the wrist, and it’s as if the judge has forgotten what actually happened to the girl and what she’ll endure for the rest of her life.
“Maybe Mia will change her mind,” I finally say. If she does, we will be behind her 100%.
“I won’t blame her if she doesn’t.” Mary flips the sandwich and presses down hard with the spatula. “I’m so fucking sick and tired of girls who are attacked not getting the justice they deserve. Girls who come into the ER but refuse a rape kit because they don’t think it will make a difference. And guys get away with shit because they are wealthy, powerful, or important to a fucking team.”
She swings the spatula around as she turns back to us. Her temper is rising, not that I blame her, but it’s almost like this is something personal to her.
“I had really thought our society had grown past the age of boys will be boys or what did you expect, look how you’re dressed from an uncle you once adored.”
Shit! This is a lot more personal than I thought.
A tear drops out of the corner of her eye. “I gotta go. Call if Mia needs anything. I don’t go in until eleven.”
She’s out of the room in a flash and a moment later the front door slams shut.
I look over at Zach. “What just happened?”
“I think something very bad.”
My appetite is gone and I push the food away.
“Go after her,” he says.
“Me?”
“I barely know her,” he argues.
“I don’t know her. Not really.”
“But you want to.”
Shit! These guys know me too fucking well.
“Go.”
He’s right. I can’t let her be alone like this right now, but what the hell am I supposed to say to her?
* * *
The stops for the subway flash past, a blur of colors and people, and I just ride. What came over me? I thought I’d put that night behind me. I was only sixteen years old and the blame was cast on me, that somehow what happened in the back seat of Chad’s car was my fault. My uncle, and what I perceive as his betrayal was more painful than anything Chad tried to do.
I did get over it, and learned a lesson, and really haven’t thought much about it since.
Until tonight.
Mia’s defeat was evident when she talked about what would happen if she pressed charges and the likely outcome. I hate it, but I have to agree with her. She didn’t ask to be beat any more than I asked Chad to force sex on me, but I can almost hear the defense attorney questioning her on the stand now. She’ll be judged and the defense will somehow try everything they can to get their client off, which will mean dragging Mia through the mud, as if it was somehow her fault.
It’s not right, but society, for the most part, is still stuck in the dark ages with all the blame on the woman. I had really thought that Neanderthal thinking was a thing of the past, but unfortunately, it’s alive and well with more concern for the perpetrator than the victim.
The train starts to slow and I glance up.
My stop.
Hopefully my roommates are gone so I can just have some quiet time, all by myself, in the apartment. I really just need alone time. No noise. No people. Just silence. If I don’t get the quiet and the peace, I’m going to slip—emotionally. It almost happened tonight, which is why I had to get out of the brownstone. I was on the verge of a meltdown, and I so couldn’t do that in front of the guys. Especially not in front of Dylan.
My meltdowns are few and far between, but I know the triggers, and the past three days have been one ginormous trigger, and I should have seen it coming. From the busy ER, the loud roommates, lack of sleep, no peace in my own bed, and the constant of things coming at me has depleted my energy. All will be good once I’m all alone in my room, in the quiet to absorb the peace and relax.
A bath! It’s been so long since I just soaked in my tub, and it’s exactly what I need.
Passengers push by me as I walk up the stairs to the street. I wish I had their energy, but I don’t. However, I need to find it before I get to work tonight.
Peace, quiet, hot bath, coffee, and I’ll be good. I don’t have time for a meltdown.
Just the idea of being alone in my apartment lifts my spirits as I open the door to my apartment building. It’s an old brownstone, like the guys live in, but it’s much bigger and has been broken up with two apartments on each of the five floors.
Music is coming from somewhere upstairs and I hope it’s not my floor.
This isn’t a party building, which is one of the reasons I like it. Sure, it’s filled with students from the university, but for the most part they are quiet. There have been parties, on occasion, and maybe I should have expected this. Everyone is coming back and getting ready for the semester to start, so it’s bound to happen.
But, as long as I can block it off in my apartment, I don’t care.
As I go up the stairs, the music gets louder and my stomach sinks when I stop on my floor. The music isn’t just coming from any random place, but my fucking apartment.
Tiffany said dinner and a party, I’m the one who assumed they were going out.
People are pouring into the hall and if I didn’t have to get stuff for work, I’d turn around and walk right out.
After pushing my way through the crowd in the hall and apartment, I finally make it to my door and unlock it.
“More room,” a guy yells moving in my direction.
“Off limits,” I yell back and practically slam the door in his face.
“Come on, Mary, we need the space,” Tiffany pleads.
“Off limits.”
This majorly sucks. All I wanted was a bath and quiet. Well, I can take a bath, but do I really want to? There are a couple of dozen people here, most of which I don’t know, and more in the hall.
It’s not like I stink or anything. I just wanted to relax and that helps.
Laughter, music, and loud conversations set my nerves on edge. I can feel the tension building on top of what’s already there.
“I will not make a scene. I will not commit murder. I will not call the police and have them booted,” I mutter to myself as I get dressed for work. What would be the point in having them kicked out? By the time New York’s finest get here and clear the place, I’ll have to leave for work anyway. All that would do is piss Shelby and Tiffany off.
That alone is almost worth it, but I want peace. Four months of living peacefully with my roommates, even if it kills me.
However, if things don’t change after the new semester starts, they are going to see a side of me they wished they didn’t. They can push my buttons now. I can let them win these minor battles, but I sure as hell will not give up the war. Especially if this shit continues.
11
Kelsey should have gone after Mary and not me. I barely know her and I’m pretty sure something really bad happened to her. Mary’s not going to want to talk to me. Especially if it’s what I think it is. I’m a guy. Kelsey could handle this a lot better than me.
Yet, I couldn’t stand to see the pain in Mary’s eyes, and that tear. It was like a punch to the gut that someone had wronged her.
She ran out of the place crying. That’s never good and she shouldn’t be alone.
Zach would have been better at this. At least he’s in touch with his feminine side, being a drag queen and all. Me, I’m not sure I have one, other than I’ll make a damn good housewife someday.
Shit! What am I going to say to her?
If she wanted to talk to somebody, wouldn’t she have stuck around?
Hell, she could have gone up to Kelsey’s room and cried it out. Isn’t that what girlfriends are supposed to do?
I’ll just check on her and make sure she’s okay, then I’ll leave. What else can I do?
Rounding the corner
to her building, I come up short.
Mary is sitting on the stoop, dressed in her scrubs, a big bag, the one she always has, next to her and she’s looking at her phone. If I could guess her demeanor, it would be totally defeated.
“Hey,” I say as I draw close.
She glances up and surprise fills her blue eyes. “What are you doing here?”
I take a seat next to her. “I was worried about you.”
Her blonde eyebrows draw together in confusion and then she must get it because the side of her mouth quirks. “That’s very sweet, but I’m fine.”
I search her eyes. “No you aren’t.” She may be smiling at me, but that laughter and kindness that is so often in those blue depths is missing.
“In that, you are correct.” She shoves her phone in her pocket. “The roommates are having a party upstairs, in our apartment, and I’ve just been told I don’t need to come into work.”
“How bad’s the party?”
“About three dozen people,” she groans.
I’ve been to that apartment. “Three dozen people don’t fit in there.”
“They are spilling out into the hall and I’m pretty sure the guys at the end of the hall are having one too, so it’s an all-floor event that is probably only going to get louder and bigger.”
“So, what, you plan on sitting on the stoop all night?” Thank God I’ve always known my roommates and gotten along with them. They’d never plan a party without clearing it with everyone who lives there. We’ve had a few, back in the old place by campus, but for the most part, we would rather go somewhere than have a bunch of people over.
“Hadn’t gotten that far yet,” she says with a sigh. “The only thing I’ve decided on is pizza and a beer. The rest is up for grabs.”
That’s right. She didn’t eat. She cooked for everybody else in the house, but was out the door as her grilled ham and cheese burned on the stove.
The kitchen is going to be twice as hard to clean after all the dripped potato soup hardens on the counter and stove. The pot will be a pain in the ass too. And then there’s the pile of dishes just sitting in the sink. As much as it bugs me that I left all that sitting there, it’s not as important as Mary is right now.
“Pizza and beer it is.” I stand.
She glances up in surprise before she slowly smiles. “Really?”
Is Mary that lonely? I would have thought she had tons of friends. She has a personality that would make people flock to her. “Unless you have friends you’d rather hang with.”
The side of her mouth quirks with half a smile. “Not really.” She grabs her bag and stands.
It still doesn’t answer the question of friends, even though I know she has Kelsey. “So, where to?”
“Gino’s is around the corner.”
“Lead the way.”
What I thought was going to be a sucky night has just made a major turn for the better.
I can’t believe Dylan came after me to make sure I was okay. What a sweet guy! Of course, that doesn’t mean there’s anything to it. I’m Kelsey’s friend and I helped Mia, the girl that I’m pretty sure he’s in love with, but I still appreciate the gesture.
Gino’s isn’t very crowded and we are lucky enough to grab a booth at the back of the restaurant. My stomach grumbles from the aroma of Italian spices and red sauce filling the air.
“Hungry?” he chuckles as we slide into seats.
“I’m pretty sure I’m always hungry,” I admit. “Food is my kryptonite.”
“What kind of food?” He grabs a menu from the stand at the end of the table.
“Pretty much any. I’m not exactly picky and will try almost anything once.”
The waitress stops by and he orders a pitcher of beer. So, it’s not just a slice, a beer and an end to the night. Unless he drinks fast, I’ll have a couple of hours of having Dylan all to myself.
“Slices or do you want to get a medium or large?”
“Didn’t you finish your sandwich and soup?” Maybe he didn’t like it. The others did, but maybe they were just being polite.
“Didn’t get a chance to. You flew out of the brownstone so I came after you.”
My heart melts a little. “You really didn’t have to.”
His grey eyes meet mine. “Yes. I did.”
The waitress returns with the beer and two glasses and stands there. Dylan lifts an eyebrow as if waiting for me to make a decision.
“Pizza, your choice. You’re the food guy. I’m easy.”
He orders the Gino special with onions, green peppers, black olives and sausage.”
I can’t believe I’m sitting here drinking beer with Dylan and about to have pizza too. However, I still don’t want him to think that there’s anything wrong with me.
“I’m sorry about the near meltdown in your kitchen. I kinda get passionate about some topics.”
He leans forward, arms on the table, hands around his glass. “It wasn’t exactly how you said stuff, it’s what you alluded to that worried me.” His jaw clenches and he has a look as if there is something else he wants to say but not sure how to say it.
“About an uncle. I was afraid that what happened to Mia may have brought up some really bad memories.”
Sure, my uncle really pissed me off and Mia’s situation did remind me of that, but…then it hits me. “Oh my God, you think…”
He holds up a hand. “You don’t have to talk about it. I just wanted to make sure you are okay.”
My heart is officially mush. Why does he have to be in love with Mia?
“Really, it’s not what you think.”
Dylan frowns. “It’s not?”
He’s got to be the nicest guy on the planet. “I was sixteen.”
“You really don’t need to tell me,” he insists.
“No, I want to. Otherwise you’re going to have it in your head that the worst, not as bad as murder, but one of the worst things that can happen, well, happened. It’s so not what you think.”
“Okay,” he says slowly, then takes a sip of his beer as he relaxes back in the booth.
“I was sixteen and making out with my boyfriend, Chad. He was the star quarterback of the team, all the girls liked him, and he was all that, blah, blah, blah. We’d fooled around before, but I wasn’t having sex with him.”
Dylan is watching me, all serious. Well, it was pretty serious, but I’ve moved past it. I’ve had six years to do so.
“That night he tried to convince me that it was time. Then he got a little more forceful.” Thinking back, I was more scared than I’ve allowed myself to remember. “He was pushing up my skirt, I was pushing it down, telling him no. Then he was on top of me. We struggled and when he wasn’t getting the hint and his dick was out, I reached down and squeezed his balls.”
Dylan’s eyes pop open as he chokes on his beer.
“While he was curled up in the fetal position in the back of the car, I got out and walked home, after breaking up with him of course.”
“Good for you. But where does the uncle come in, unless you were talking about something else?”
That part’s a little harder and it still pisses me off. “Mom and the Major were out and my uncle, my father’s brother, was visiting from Trenton.”
“The Major?”
“Step-daddy.” I dismiss him away with a hand. He’s not important to this.
Dylan nods.
“So, my uncle, who I’ve looked up to all of my life, is sitting in the living room when I come in. He wants to know what’s wrong so I tell him.”
“I take it he didn’t go after the kid.” There’s a hard edge to Dylan’s tone like he’d have hauled Chad’s ass out of the back seat of the car.
“He gave me a talk.” I start listing them off, lifting a finger for each point. “Boys will be boys. I shouldn’t have gotten into the back seat if I wasn’t going to put out. I shouldn’t be a tease. I was wearing a short skirt and should think about how I dress.” I’m getting more and more pissed
as I remember that conversation. I think Dylan may be too by the hard look in his grey eyes. “But the kicker was, he said that I could have really hurt Chad. He’s our star football player and a big game was coming up and we had a chance at going to state this year.”
Dylan’s eyes widen as if in shock, which is exactly how I felt that night.
“Apparently protecting my virginity wasn’t as important as a shot at a state title.”
His jaw is hanging open. Good. I’m glad somebody else gets it.
I take a drink of my beer, feeling a bit of relief having gotten that off my chest. “Talking with Mia tonight just reminded me of that night.”
“What did your mom say?” he asks slowly.
“I didn’t tell her.”
We lean back and stop talking when the waitress puts the pizza in the middle of the table.
I take a slice, but Dylan is still looking at me. “Ever?”
“Well, not that night.” I shrug and take a bite. The spices explode on my tongue and I can’t help but groan. I love this pizza.
“But, eventually you did…”
He’s so concerned. I kind of hate Mia right now. Okay, not hate, but I’m jealous as hell. Why was she with Stone when Dylan is right there for her?
“After my uncle got done, I was pissed, hurt, and betrayed that he cared more about Chad and the football team than me. Then I started wondering if I had been sending mixed messages to Chad and that maybe somehow it was all my fault.”
“You did nothing wrong.” Dylan finally grabs a slice. Thank goodness. I like food, but I can’t eat a whole pizza.
“I didn’t tell Mom or the Major right away because I was afraid they’d say the same thing.”
“But…”
I grin at him. “Just wait.”
Rattle His Cage: The Baxter Boys #4 (The Baxter Boys ~ Rattled) Page 7