by Piper Frost
His tongue flicks back and forth and he drives his fingers over that spot that could make my screams shatter glass, but I bite my lip. The last thing I need is for my parents to walk in on us. He doesn’t stop until I’m shaking and having a hard time staying on my feet.
“Sutton,” I whisper. Fuck. Fuck. Shit! His fingers rub perfectly and I feel my orgasm starting hard and fast. My fingers tighten in his hair and I feel the pressure start to build. I want to warn him what he’s doing to me, but I’m afraid if I open my mouth I won’t be able to stop until I’m limp so I let go, my entire body tightening up and then exploding out into an orgasm I didn’t even know was possible. My legs threaten to go out from under me but he doesn’t let up. His fingers curl and I bite my lip so hard through what would have been the loudest fucking moan when I release and come hard.
I’m slowly bending as my orgasm ripples through me but before I crumple to the floor, he pins me down to the bed. He kisses me hard, sucking my lip where I was just biting hard enough I got a tang of blood. And when he slides his damp jeans off, he pivots and pushes inside of me without a condom, but I don’t stop him. He exhales and pushes our mouths together so I can swallow his moan. His hips pivot slowly not to make my bed squeak and for the first time, he goes slow, kissing me softly.
Lifting his head, he whispers, “You’re fucking beautiful.” And I instantly feel it. He always says I’m hot and sexy. Usually fucking hot or fucking sexy. But I’m not beautiful and yet he thinks I am.
This isn’t the hard fucking I’m used to with Sutton. It’s a slow, amazing...dare I say romantic movement that makes me feel so full I want to cry.
“You know that?” he asks quietly, kissing me softly but when he looks into my eyes again, he nods. His finger slides down my cheek. “You know that, right?” He smiles, kissing me again while his head nods, encouraging me to.
“You make me feel beautiful,” I whisper, pushing my hands to the back of his neck and kissing him again as he rocks into me slow and deep. “Only you.”
“Only me, baby. You’re perfect for me,” he whispers with a shaky breath, coming close to his orgasm.
His lips slam to mine right as he shifts slightly and pushes in deeper and harder. He’s hitting exactly where I need him to.
“Don’t stop,” I whisper so quietly I’m not sure he can hear me. My hands grip onto his biceps as he supports himself over me and I dig my nails in as I feel my orgasm starting. His body starts to shake as his thrusts become harder, like he’s trying to hold back but is having a hard time doing it. I whimper, feeling my orgasm start and my fingernails tighten. His eyes hit mine as I come and he’s right there with me, shuddering breaths and whispered curse words before his lips slam to mine and his body relaxes.
Catching his breath, he rolls to my side and lays his head over my shoulder. Grabbing my arm, he brings my wrist to his lips and kisses three times before sighing tiredly.
“Why do you keep kissing me there?” It’s not pretty. It’s something I hide because I know how stupid it is. And having him that close to a part of me that I’ve kept hidden for so long is going to take a while for me to get used to...but I want him there. With me.
“Because I’m going to fix it,” he promises, his head nuzzling to get more comfortable as he lays on me.
I sigh, hoping he’s right. My fingers start to trace shapes on his back and I can’t stop myself from smiling.
“I love you, Sutton.”
He tugs me until I dip my chin then kisses my lips before settling across my chest again. “Don’t let me fall asleep,” he whispers tiredly.
I giggle and reach down, pulling the blanket up over us. It’s probably not the best idea getting cozy like this, but these past two days have been hell and all I want right now is Sutton.
Sunlight blinds me and makes me jolt from my dream. A really good dream about a really warm body.
Really fucking warm body.
“Oh shit,” I blurt, pushing Sutton’s arm off me to wake him up. “Sutton!” I hiss, frantically looking at my clock to see it’s almost eight in the morning. Oh fuck, fuck.... Fuck, my door’s open. “Sutton!” I poke him in the side and he groans.
A few seconds later, her blinks his eyes open and when he sees me, he smiles. “Hey.” He reaches for me but pauses and his brows furrow. “Oh fuck,” he whispers and partially sits up seeing my open door. Panic hits him.
“They would have kicked you out if they saw you, right? Maybe it was just my bother.” It wasn’t my fucking brother. My brother never comes in here like that in the middle of the night. I check my phone for any pissed off texts from my parents but there’s nothing.
“Or your dad’s waiting to blow my head off.” He jumps over me and out of the bed, butt naked and frantically looks around for his pants. They’re folded on my desk chair and my eyes go wide. Only my mom would have done that. He’s dressed before I can try and process what happened. “Should I go out the fuckin’ window?”
“No!” I blurt. “We’re on the top floor right above concrete, idiot!” I swear my parents gave me this room because they knew I’d be the kid that tried sneaking out most nights. Worst room ever to try and sneak out of. “Just...” I look around, then hop out of bed and throw on a pair of shorts. “My dad’s probably already working and my mom’s usually getting ready for work.” School. “God, we’re late to school, too,” I whisper. “All right, plan. I distract my mom, you go out whatever door you can and get as far down the road as you can. I’ll stop and let you in the car as soon as I leave.”
He nods and moves toward me, pecking my lips.
“Leena! Sutton! You guys want something to eat? If you leave soon, you’ll make it to second hour!” my mom’s voice yells up the stairs and I feel like I could heave up my heart.
Sutton looks like his face is turning green when he looks at me. “They’re waiting to kill me. It’s a trap, babe,” he whispers with so much panic I laugh.
“No they aren’t,” I try to calm myself but holy shit, my parents know he stayed the night. He’s not the one who’s about to get themselves a new asshole chewed. “But I might be kicked out, and that’s not me overreacting.” One main rule my dad’s drilled home to all his kids is no members of the opposite sex stays the night in our rooms. I don’t care how much he liked them or how much we thought we liked said person, he never let any of us break that rule. “Maybe my dad doesn’t know,” I whisper. “My mom would be cool about it.” Hopefully.
“I’ll just tell them we fell asleep. Talking.” The worry on his face is cute, but we have to face the music at some point.
I fix my hair in the mirror, thankful it doesn’t look like we fucked all night, then grab his hand and head down the stairs. Each step that brings us closer to our doom makes my heart pound harder. The house is quiet. Eerily quiet. But I guess that’s because my brothers are already in school and if my dad’s working, it’s just my mom I have to deal with.
“Hey, Mom,” I say weakly. “Morning.” I feel my cheeks burning and drop Sutton’s hand from mine out of sheer embarrassment.
My mom smiles then holds up a plate of muffins. I nudge Sutton so he takes one.
“Thank you,” he whispers and my mom snorts a laugh.
“Sutton you want to run home and brush your teeth? Maybe change? I’m not going to be happy if you two don’t go to school today.” She’s at the sink washing a couple dishes already.
She’s not going to be happy about that? About skipping school? Does that mean she’s not mad now?
“Uh yeah. Teeth...brush. Yes.” I make a move to kiss Sutton before he ducks out the door but freeze. “Ah...see you soon.” God, I wish I could go with him.
“Yeah, okay. Thanks for the muffin,” he blurts and heads for the front door.
Before I can turn around and head upstairs to brush my teeth my mom calls my name.
“Yeah, mom?” I smile and try to lay it on as thick as possible, hoping that maybe it’ll soften the blow.
“
Dad headed to the city early this morning. Luckily.” She cocks her eyebrow. “I was surprised when I went to wake you up for school. We’d just assumed he left last night.”
I can’t look at her and not blush. I can’t look at her at all right now!
“Yeah um...sorry. I...we didn’t mean to...” I shake my head. “It won’t happen again,” I add, even though I really want it to.
“Leena,” she sighs, and here we go. She’s going to tell me how she has to tell dad Sutton stayed, and I can’t have boys in my room even though I'm eighteen. And it’s their roof. And on and on. “There was no condom,” she says like she wants to puke up her breakfast right now. That’s not what I was expecting from her.
“Right,” I choke out. “Uh.” I laugh...because I don’t know what else to do. “Right.” is all I can get out. “It’s fine. I’m on the pill.” Holy shit that was a hard sentence to force out.
“Oh...” She glances away. “Oh...since when?” What is going on here? Why isn’t she angry me and Sutton are clearly sleeping together?
“Few years ago,” I mutter. More like the first time Sutton and I slept together and I got terrified and wanted him to wrap it three times just to be safe. “It’s no big deal, mom.”
My mom starts to laugh, and not a happy laugh either. “No big deal? Okay. That’s fine. Then let’s tell dad. Together. We’ll put him on speaker phone.”
“No, wait!” I almost run over to her and slap the phone from her hand. “Please don’t.” My eyes are wide. I don’t know what she wants me to say here. That I’ve been sleeping around for a few years now? What mom wants to hear that about her daughter? I can guaran-fucking-tee that Paige and Annie never had to have this conversation with my mother.
“I won’t,” she snaps at me. “But don’t tell me it’s no big deal. It is a big deal. A huge deal. Sutton has a child, Leena! And that could be you. Don’t tell me sleeping with people isn’t a big deal. I have six kids! I know how much of a big deal it is. You only sleep with a man you love and you stay smart.” She starts to calm down. “Use protection, and just make sure they’re clean.” She sighs and sits in the chair. “I just want to protect you all but I can’t. Sex happens, but don’t tell me it’s no big deal. Dad thinks he’s the only person I ever slept with. It’s a big deal to him!” When my eyes go wide, she starts to laugh. ”I'm kidding, I was a whore." She laughs even harder.
“Oh my god,” I mutter, then a laugh sneaks in. “You were not a whore.” Not my mom. The woman who wrangled six kids like it’s nothing and somehow still manages to keep her sanity and stay happy.
All she does is lift an eyebrow and smile. Getting to her feet she gives me a genuine smile. “It’s a big deal. You’re going to be the mother figure in his little girl’s life, Leena. You guys don’t need to slip up until you’re financially ready for more kids. You accept Sutton, you accept his daughter. Let’s not make more right now.”
“Okay.” I whisper. “We’ll be more careful.” I stare at the table. “I love him, Mom. And I accept him and that beautiful little girl.” I look up at her. “But I don’t know the first thing about how to be a mother. It’s never even crossed my mind.”
“Shit,” she huffs and plops into a chair. “Me either.” Her eyes find mind and a slow smile lifts her lips. “We’re all just winging it.”
“Great,” I laugh. “So there’s still hope for me.” I reach over and hug her before I can second guess what I’m doing. “Thanks mom. I’m lucky to have someone as kickass as you in my corner.”
She hugs me tight and when a horn beeps, she lets me go. “Go to school before I throw you to the wolves. Or your dad and Gray.”
“Got it.” I run from the room, making a pit stop in the bathroom to brush my teeth, then grab my bag and run out the front door. Straight for Sutton.
When I get in, he looks worried. “You get in trouble? I didn’t see your dad out here. I was gonna try and explain we fell asleep talking.”
Without hesitating, I grab his face and kiss him hard, then pull back smiling.
“I want to be the mother figure Mia needs,” I blurt, my heart racing. “I’m terrified. And I don’t know what the hell to do with a kid. But I accept her just like I accept you and I love you.” I’m winded but only because the adrenaline.
He grins and tugs me toward him again, kissing me slower this time. “I love you, Leena.”
-APRIL -
I rub my face and groan. Now that me and Leena are doing all this one hundred percent open shit, she has to know my every move, and some shit she’s better off not knowing.
“Hey,” I roll toward her while we lie in my bed. I lift my phone so she can see the text I just got. “Altman wants to see me.”
“Why?” Her body’s curled around mine and I really don’t want to get up. “You guys have plans?”
I stare at the phone a minute then shift to look into her face. “He thinks he knows some shit about my dad. We just kind of want to go over that.” I slide my fingers through her hair and twirl the ends.
“You’re still looking for him?” Her tone is quiet, like it’s news to her that I’ve been on the hunt for him for months.
“Babe.” I kind of chuckle. “I’m not giving up. He fucked up our lives.”
“Right.” She sits up and looks down at me. “What are you going to do to him if you find him, Sutton?”
“I don’t know, Leena.” I slide my arm out from under her and sit up. “Ya know? What would you do in this situation? If I find him before the cops can...” I shrug and glance back at her.
I want to kill him. I want him fucking dead. But I don’t know if I’d be able to do that.
“What. If you find him, then what?” She huffs and shifts to the edge of the bed. “Why do I get the feeling you’re not going to be happy until you get revenge? Until he’s hurting as much as he hurt you?”
“That’s exactly what I’m feeling. It’s human nature to want revenge. I can’t shake it. I talk shit about juvie, that it wasn’t shit, but it was. It was fucked up, and yeah, I know how I got there. I didn’t have to do what I did, but I really thought he’d kill my brother. And now.” I shift to look at her. “The shit he made me do fucked with your family. Now I want revenge even more.” I slide my finger down her arm.
“So what? You’re either going to go mad spending the rest of your life looking for a guy that not even the police can find. Or you're going to find him and murder him? Because that’ll look great in court when you’re trying to win custody of your daughter.” She rolls her eyes and huffs. “Wouldn’t a better revenge be forgetting that he ever existed and doing something more with your life?”
I get off the bed and pull on my jeans on. “You’re talking like I’m fucking stupid and I’d get caught if I killed him. I fucking wouldn’t. The only reason I got caught before...” I stop and drop my head, taking a few deep breaths. “How do you forget that the man that brought you into the world fucked you up? My record’s going to stop me from getting custody of Mia already.”
“No it’s not,” she blurts. “You were a kid back then, Sutton. You’re proving every day how capable you are. You’re going to finish school then you’re going to fight for her. We. We're going to fight for her. But the second you do anything that adds fuel to the fire where your record goes, everything goes up in flames. You can’t change what he did. But you can change the way you live your life because of it.” She grabs my hand. “Just think about it for a second. You're not a murderer.”
Looking into my girl’s face, I wish she’d get it. What it feels like inside knowing he’s out there, hiding from what he did, but I paid for my part. I still pay for it. I wake up daily hoping Leena doesn’t realize I’m not good enough for her. We aren’t perfect for each other like I try to convince her we are, because she’s way too good for me.
“I’m not,” I tell her and she looks into my eyes, sliding a hand to the back of my neck.
“Then don’t do this, Sutton. Become the man your father n
ever was. You're a good person and deserve more than you think. More than he ever let you believe.”
“Like you.” I smirk and slide my arms around her. “Right?”
“Yes,” she grins. “Me. My family. Your daughter.” She pushes her lips to mine. “Don’t give your dad the pleasure of knowing you turned out exactly as he wanted you to.”
As right as she is, not following through burns. Altman said it was a good lead and he’s almost positive my old man’s in Mexico. There’s a hell of a lot more I can do in Mexico than I can here.
“What if I can’t let this go?” I’m asking her if she’s gonna leave me. She pulls back and shakes her head.
“You’re stronger than you think.” She crosses her arms in front of her. “And you're not stupid. You think finding him’s going to make you feel better? That it’s just going to make everything he did to you okay when you put a bullet in his brain? Guess what, it’s not!” She curses and walks back to the bed, sitting on the edge. “You’re never going to stop feeling the pain, Sutton. You're just going to add to the nightmare when you're staring at his blood on your hands.”
She’s pissed. I get it. I get pissed that she wants to cut herself. We both got shit we’re going through, and we’re gonna do this shit together.
I grab my phone and pull up Altman’s text.
SUTTON: Nah man. I’m good. Thanks. Appreciated, I owe you one.
I toss my phone next to her on the bed and see her glance, but I pin her down, moving in for her mouth.
“We’re gonna keep being perfect together, baby.” I kiss her jaw to her ear. “Right?”
She hums and wraps her arms around my neck.
“Right. Always.” She holds me tight while my lips connect with her neck. “I love you, Sutton.”