by Lois Richer
Prompted by the captain’s flashing light, Gabe quickly thanked his friend and said goodbye.
As they descended, then taxied into the airport, he made himself replay Jake’s words.
Think about them.
So if he was Blair, in a strange house, married to someone who’d always put his money first, what would he do now?
The answer hit him hard.
Blair was the kind of woman who’d wait and see if the other person was trustworthy. She’d bide her time until she was certain she wouldn’t be betrayed again.
It was ironic. If it were him in her position, Gabe knew he’d be long gone. In his books, nobody got a second chance.
You did.
The reminder that God had given him much more than one second chance burned like indigestion. Didn’t it behoove him to cut everybody else a little slack? Wasn’t it time to stop expecting everyone to applaud him, and start finding out who his family really was?
Gabe let himself into the silent darkened house and set his briefcase near the door.
He moved through the house. The train cake sat proud and colorful in the center of the dining room table, its cars following behind in black-and red-iced abandon. Peanut butter cookies spilled out of the cookie jar and onto a huge tray on the counter.
Gabe tucked three into a napkin, poured himself a glass of milk and headed onto the patio to think over Jake’s words. He grinned. It felt good to be back, to be home.
A shadowed figure in the hot tub slowed his steps. “Blair?”
She turned to face him, her features barely discernible in the dim light. “Hi.”
“Hi, yourself. How long have you been sitting here?”
She shrugged, waiting until he pulled his chair nearer. “I don’t know. A while. I guess I got lost in my thoughts. Couldn’t sleep.”
“What kind of thoughts?” He couldn’t stop the shiver of apprehension that twitched in his brain.
“Actually, I was thinking about what you said the other day.” Her head came up, her eyes steady as they met his, dark and glowing in the light from the bottom of the tub. “You said you knew that Daniel and I didn’t need you. That’s not entirely true.”
He took a bite of cookie, more for something to do than because he was hungry. All his nerves stood at attention as he waited for her to continue. Please, God, don’t let her tell me to go. Not now. Not yet!
“I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you to handle everything, Blair. It’s pretty clear that you were doing just fine on your own.” He swallowed. “I’m well aware that my presence causes you stress, like impulsively buying that car. That was stupid.”
He risked a glance at her and saw she was studying him, a faint smile tugging the corners of her mouth.
“That was brilliant,” she muttered. “And if I hadn’t been so selfish and petty, I’d have told you that right off. Daniel will love it.”
“But, I thought—”
“I couldn’t send it back! It’s your gift to him. Who am I to set up conditions and terms about what you should give your own son? I’ve always wanted the best for Daniel and now that he’s getting it, I’m afraid I have a bad case of sour grapes.” She shifted so that the jets pummeled her back. “I’m sorry I did that, Gabe. It was rude.”
He stared at her, unable to believe what she was saying. “I shouldn’t have presumed to pick out his gift,” he mumbled.
“Why not?” Her head tilted, topknot wobbling dangerously as she frowned. “Most fathers pick out a gift for their sons. Why should you be any different?” She laughed, a harsh sound that gave him a clue to the bitterness she felt. “I’m still under construction, Gabe, and God is having a tough time teaching me humility.”
“Why should you be humble?” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “You haven’t done anything to be ashamed of.”
“Haven’t I?” She gave an odd little laugh that seemed to jerk out of her. “Do you know why I was so mad?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t consult you. I ruined your plans. I took over. Take your pick.”
Slowly she shook her head. Gabe was fascinated by the movement, fully appreciative of the lovely picture she made, neck rising from the steaming water like a regal swan’s. “Believe me, Blair, I know my faults.”
“I was mad because you showed me up.” Her words hit the night air with a hard, bitter sound. “You went out and bought this shiny car that I knew Daniel would fawn over and all I had was that measly bike to offer.”
He gulped, totally fazed by her blunt admittance. “Consciously, I really wasn’t trying to buy his love, Blair, though I guess if we look at base motives, that was in there.”
Her hands smacked the water, sending a spray of droplets in a wide arc that managed to hit his pants and spatter his shirt.
“Stop being so self-effacing, will you?” Her voice brimmed with frustration. “I’m trying to apologize.”
“Oh.” He waited until he thought it was safe, then nodded. “Okay then, I’ll accept yours if you’ll accept mine. You’re the best mother my son could ever have. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his happiness.” He made sure she was looking at him. “I never meant to show you up, Blair.”
“Do you think I don’t know that? Well, at least I figured it out once I got over my anger.” She shifted to a higher step.
Gabe watched as the steam rose off her shoulders in a thick white mist, but he held his tongue. She was telling him something. He needed to listen.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not very secure in my position as Daniel’s mother, not with you around.” She didn’t look at him.
“Can you tell me why?”
Blair sighed. “It’s stupid! I feel as if I’ve been scrounging just to make ends meet and then in you walk and in one fell swoop, manage to make his dreams come true. All I managed was to put food on the table.” She glanced sideways at him, then away.
It wasn’t much, but Gabe caught the flash of hurt in her eyes and called himself a fool. He’d stepped all over her pride with his high-handed methods, his determination to make up for the past. He owed her for that.
“Blair?” When she kept her eyes on the wooden bridge over the creek, stubbornly refusing to look at him, Gabe knew what he had to do. He slipped off his shoes and socks, then stepped into the tub to sit beside her, his arm sliding around her shoulders. “Listen to me, Blair.”
She stared at him in disbelief, glancing from his sodden clothes to his face with bewilderment clouding her gorgeous eyes. “What are you doing, Gabe? You’ll ruin those clothes!”
“This is more important.” He grasped her chin in his hand and stared into her eyes. “You gave Daniel everything, Blair. You gave him life, then you loved him enough for both of us. You protected him, you cared for him, you made sure he had everything a little boy could need. Nothing I could buy would ever compare to that, and I know it. So does Daniel.”
Shiny silver tears gathered on the tips of her thick brown lashes as she stared at him. Her liquid chocolate eyes filled and overflowed, sending the tears tumbling down her cheeks.
“Thank you,” she whispered in a broken sob. Then she threw herself into his arms, her own going around him in a viselike grip that punched Gabe in the stomach.
He brushed a hand over her hair, tugging the comb free so that the glossy strands tumbled down in a riot of bouncy curls. His lips found the velvet cord in her neck and he brushed it tenderly.
“I don’t know how you can stand me,” she whimpered against his throat. “I’ve been so mean, so arrogant. All this time I’ve been trying to make you pay for something that was never your fault.”
The truth crystallized in his mind. “It was my fault, Blair. I should never have allowed things to get out of control. I knew it was wrong, but I let passion overrule my conscience.” He nuzzled a little closer. “But I’ve prayed for forgiveness and I believe God’s given it. Now I need to ask for yours.” He moved her away until he could stare into her eyes.
>
“Will you forgive me for that night, Blair? And for all the mistakes I’ve made since?”
She nodded slowly, her words, when they came, whisper soft. “I have to.”
He moved her hair so he could see every angle and curve of her beautiful face. “No, you don’t have to,” he corrected her. “You could go on hating me forever, and I’d deserve it.”
As he watched, a light from within began to glow in the depths of her eyes. They stayed focused steadily on him while her head turned from left to right.
“I don’t hate you, Gabriel Sloan.”
He whooshed out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes. He leaned until his forehead pressed against hers, searching for some way to tell her what her forgiveness meant.
“I can’t hate you. I love you, Gabe. I always have.”
His head jerked up as he searched those shiny depths, desperately craving the truth.
“I love you more than life. It just took me a while to realize it.” She smiled, one hand lifting to touch his cheek, to brush against the stubble on his chin, smooth the furrow of confusion across his forehead. “I always thought my love for you was a mistake, a childish infatuation. Something I’d grown out of. I was wrong.”
“Wh-what are you saying?” He could barely breathe.
“Is it so hard to accept?” she murmured, her innocent eyes laughing into his. “I love you. That’s why I wanted to marry you then. That’s why I married you now. I tried to hide it, tried to pretend it wasn’t real. But I realized today that my pretending only builds walls between us.” She leaned forward and kissed him tenderly, her lips featherlight against his. “I want Daniel to know you, to love you the way a child loves and adores his father. I want him to depend on you, to trust you, to run to you when he needs help.”
“I’m not a very good father, Blair.” It was the only thing that he could say. Fear clutched his throat.
“You’re a wonderful father, Gabe. You care about Daniel, you want the best for him. You won’t let him down, you’ll always do your best to see that he gets what he needs. You’re fair and understanding and patient. You love him.”
The words pierced his heart like a white-hot arrow, tunneling to the very core of him. Was it true? Was it love, this fierce need to make sure Daniel never wanted for anything, never felt alone or abandoned? Had love made him walk out of that meeting before it was over so he could be here for his son’s sixth birthday?
“I know because that’s exactly the way I feel about him, too.” She smiled at the confusion Gabe knew was written all over his face.
“But that doesn’t mean…” He stopped, unwilling to say it aloud, just in case it was true and he’d spoil it all.
“That doesn’t mean I love you?” She laughed softly. “I loved you long ago, Gabe. When you were dragging me to all those Hollywood parties, I knew. I only went because I could see that it meant a lot to you, and I didn’t want to spoil it for you.”
“But how can you forgive me for letting you walk away? For asking you to do something you felt was wrong?” He didn’t understand this, didn’t want to trust in it, to believe that such forgiveness existed.
“How can I not?” She linked her fingers in his, her forefinger pressing against the wedding band she’d slipped on his hand mere weeks ago. “‘By this will all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love one for another.’ How can I not love you when God loves and forgives me?”
“It sounds too easy.” He frowned, waiting for that steady glow to die in her eyes.
“I know. That’s exactly what I said to God. It’s too easy. He should pay for forcing me to leave, to have Daniel alone. It’s not fair.”
Gabe waited, knowing she wasn’t finished. His fingers couldn’t help but touch her hair, burying themselves in its glossy fullness. To be near Blair was to touch her.
“I sat here, full of anger and bitterness, pouting. Then the truth hit me. God’s son died for me. Was that fair?” She smiled, the tears coursing down her cheeks as she shook her head.
“I’m sorry, Gabe. From here on in, I’m letting go of the grudges, the complaints, the bitterness. It’s forgiven. I don’t care what you’ve done or what happened in the past.” Her mouth split wide in a smile of pure joy. “I love you.”
Gabe couldn’t stop himself from basking in that light any more than he could prevent his arms from wrapping themselves around her and pulling her so close he thought he’d never let go.
As her arms fit around his neck and drew his head to hers, a deep sense of peace washed over him. He’d waited for this for so long, wanted to be held like this so many times. How often had he watched her and yearned to hold her in his arms, to immerse himself in a love like this. To feel as if he belonged.
The doubts crept in, clawing their way into the circle that held them together.
“What if I mess up?” he whispered, his hands tight around her. “What if I can’t be the husband or father you want?”
Blair’s long, elegant fingers slid from his shoulders to cup his face in her hands. She stared into his eyes, her love burning into his like a beacon of hope.
“You already are,” she whispered before kissing him.
“I want to be your wife, Gabriel Sloan. Your real wife.” She slipped from his arms, stepped out of the hot tub and reached out a hand.
As if in a dream, Gabe followed, his fingers threading through hers. She led him through the patio doors and into the room he’d built especially for them.
He stared at her in the darkness, thankful that only the moon cast a glow. Gently, tenderly, he set her away from him.
“This isn’t right,” he whispered sadly. “It’s like before. I’ll be taking, and I still can’t say what you want to hear. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do that.” He swallowed hard. “I can’t love anyone, Blair. That part of me is dead.”
She stood there, her swimsuit dark in the moon-beam that flickered through the skylight. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, unfathomable in the dimness, until she took two steps closer to him.
“It isn’t the same, Gabe. Not at all. We’re married, and I’ve committed my life to you. I’m not going to run away, to hide, to wish for more.” Her fingers grasped his shirtfront and pulled his face to within inches of hers.
“I love you exactly as you are, Gabriel Sloan. Isn’t that enough?” She turned away for a moment, and his heart ached as he watched her walk away. When she returned, she held a sheaf of papers in her hand, which she laid on the table in front of him.
“I know you still feel this is necessary. You’ve kept them hidden, waiting for the right time to ask me to sign them. That’s okay. I don’t need the security of your money or your company to love you,” she whispered, turning pages until she came to the final one. Quickly, with a flourish, the prenuptial papers were signed. She folded them and slid them into the envelope, then held them out. “I love you. I know there are no guarantees with love, but that’s okay with me. Love is enough.”
Gabe set the envelope on the table as if it burned his fingers, but he couldn’t deny the relief he felt. At Blair’s questioning touch, he pulled her into the circle of his arms, closing his eyes as the warmth of her love enfolded him once more.
It was enough for her, but was it enough for him? Would she ever really need him the way he needed her in his life?
Would he one day regret not being able to say those words, to give her the love she deserved?
Please, God, show me what love is.
Chapter Twelve
Blair whooshed a breath of air in the stillness of her workroom, the sparkle of her rings shafting a glow of happiness straight to her heart.
“My life might be close to paradise in that castle,” she grunted as she heaved a pail of honey out of the way. “But it’s pure labor on this side of the tracks.”
“Hey, Busy Bee, how’s it going?” Mac leaned against the doorway, watching from under the brim of his cap.
“It’s going.” Blair swiped
a hand across her forehead and reached for another frame. “It’s only mid-July and so far I’ve got more honey than in any previous year.” She struggled to cut the wax free of the frame. “I wish I could afford a machine to do this. It’s so time-consuming.”
“Ask and ye shall receive.” Mac grinned, stepped to the side and waved a hand. “Tada! Enter, gentlemen.”
Albert risked one shy smile before turning his attention to the machine he and Gabe carried inside.
“What’s this?” She watched as Gabe plugged it in and Albert demonstrated the machine’s ability to uncap the honey in one quick step. “You guys are geniuses!”
Gabe winked at Mac. “I’ve been telling her that for ages.”
“I hope you don’t mind that I’ve been watching you,” Albert murmured, his head down. “I had to see exactly what needed doing before I could figure out a design.”
Blair laughed in delight as she moved one frame then another through, watching the wax pile neatly. Soon she had enough frames ready to start the extractor.
“Come and watch anytime,” she invited. “If this is the result, you guys are welcome at any hour.”
“I’d like my thank-you now.” Gabe sauntered over and wrapped an arm around her waist, clearly waiting for a kiss of appreciation. She brushed her lips against his cheek. Gradually she was getting used to this new, lighter-hearted Gabe.
“You’ve got a first-rate crop this year, Busy Bee. And the price is up.” Mac grinned, smug delight gleaming in his eyes as he watched Gabe fiddle possessively with her hair. “Looks like I did the right thing when I sold that land, don’t you think?”
“Mom!” Daniel raced through the door, his grubby face glowing. He dashed over and wrapped himself around Blair’s legs. “Me an’ Willie got a surprise for you.”
Willie stumbled in the door behind him, gasping for breath, her hand at her throat. “Mercy! I’m about to keel over.” Her thin chest heaved. “Haven’t run so hard in thirty years.”
“I won, though, Willie! I won.”
“So you did, boy.” Willie collapsed on the chair Mac held out, her narrow face flushed with healthy color.