Champagne flowed and an extravagant sampling of lush appetizers was set out before us. We all toasted to the successful wrap, relived some of the fondest memories on set, and chatted about potential upcoming projects. Gavin and I floated around the room, talking with all the friends we had made while stealing glances of each other from across the room. When his eyes rested on me, I could always feel his presence around me. I never lost track of where he was, and even when I wasn’t thinking about his whereabouts directly he was in the background of my mind. It almost felt like there was an invisible tether between us, holding us together no matter how far apart we were.
At the end of the night, everyone started saying goodbye and trickling out slowly. We all promised to keep in touch and exchanged well wishes for the future. I hugged everyone I saw as Gavin and I started to leave the party to head back to his place.
As soon as we walked in the door to Gavin’s house we both kicked off our shoes. My feet were hurting from being in heels all night- something I was definitely not used to. Gavin walked toward the bedroom, taking off his shirt as he walked down the hall. I followed, starting to unzip the back of my dress.
Since I had been spending so much time there instead of my own place, Gavin had given me a drawer of my own, where I could keep some extra panties, pajamas, a pair of jeans, and a couple of shirts in there. I threw the dress on the floor and got out my pajamas. When I turned around, Gavin was watching me, darting his head back nonchalantly, and pretending he hadn’t been staring at me while I was undressing.
“Taking a peek, are we?” I teased him.
He blushed. “Can you blame me?”
I put my pajamas on while he put on his, then walked over and pecked him on the cheek. He grinned at me, and put his arms around me, holding me tightly.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “I love you.”
I kissed him. “I love you, too.”
We walked out to the living room together and sat on the couch. He leaned against the back of the sofa, put his legs around me, and tugged on my arm lightly to get me to cuddle with him. I positioned myself in between his legs with my back against his chest and he enveloped me in his arms. It was cozy and picturesque- the perfect way to spend the rest of the evening.
Gavin turned on the television and I pulled a blanket that had been resting on the back of the couch over us. We had just gotten comfy when Gavin’s phone rang in the other room. I started to move, but he held on to me.
“Don’t you want to get that?” I asked.
“Nah,” he said passively. “Whoever it is, they’ll leave a message.”
I huddled back up against him, pulling the blanket up to my neck.
Almost as soon as the last note had sounded its final echo, Gavin’s ringtone started up again.
“I guess you better get it,” I said.
Gavin sighed. “Yea, I better.”
Reluctantly, we broke our snuggle-fest so he could get up to answer the phone. He picked up the phone and glanced at the caller ID.
“It’s my manager,” he said. “I don’t know what he’d want at this time of night.”
Gavin answered the phone and went into the other room. I lay back down on the couch and stared at the television. The sounds of Gavin’s muffled side of the conversation came from the bedroom, and it didn’t sound good. I couldn’t make out any of the words he was saying, but his tone became anxious and aggravated.
When Gavin came back into the living room, he set his phone down on the table.
“Everything alright?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m going to get a glass of milk. Do you want anything?”
“No thanks,” I said.
Gavin walked into the kitchen and I muted the television. Something was bothering him, and I hoped he would talk about it when he returned. I ran through my thoughts of what it could possibly be, and knowing that it was his manager who called meant it could really only be one thing.
Gavin came back into the room and sat down on the couch, sipping his milk. I waited a moment, letting him enjoy his beverage before letting my inquiring mind take over.
“So what’s going on?” I asked.
“Well,” he began slowly. “One of those pictures from the restaurant was printed this week in some gossip magazine. There’s a whole article in there about me and you.”
“Looks like the word’s out about us then.”
“Not quite,” Gavin continued carefully. “My manager said the article doesn’t confirm anything, just speculates. He wants me to go on The Eva Show tomorrow and do some damage control. He says I need to tell the public that there’s nothing going on between us and promote Bittersweet Memories.”
I dropped my eyes down, not really knowing what to say. On one hand, I wanted what was best for Gavin and his career, but on the other hand, I wanted the world to know that he was mine and I was his. Still, I did not want to be the cause of any problems in Gavin’s blooming career.
“That’s pretty cool,” I tried to sound supportive and enthusiastic. “You’ll get to go on her show and talk about the movie. That’s definitely a good thing.”
“Yea, you’re right,” he sighed. “I just feel strange about this.”
“But you’ve got to do what’s best for the film,” I said. Then I added, “And for you.”
Gavin took one last gulp of his milk, emptying the glass. He looked into the bottom of the cup, making sure there was really nothing left.
“I’m kinda tired,” he said. “Wanna go to bed?”
I nodded, and then followed him into the bedroom. He turned off the lights and we got under the covers. I leaned over to give him a goodnight kiss, and could feel he was tense and uneasy. That night was the first night I could remember sleeping without his arms around me since we had been together.
The next day, Gavin left early to head to the studio for the taping of The Eva Show. We had a short breakfast together, and when he left I headed back to my place. I needed to do some chores there anyway, and it had been a couple of days since I had been home.
As I cleaned up around my apartment, I wondered how the taping was going and what Gavin was going to say about the film. The show wouldn’t air until the early afternoon, but that gave me time to sort through my email. My agent had landed me a couple more auditions for the end of the week, and I was excited to see the notices in my inbox. I couldn’t wait to take on another project, although it felt that doing so would signal the official end of the filming of Bittersweet Memories.
When it was time for The Eva Show to come on, I plopped myself down on the couch and turned on my television. I had never really been a fan of talk shows, but of all the ones out there, The Eva Show was definitely the best one, and I didn’t mind watching at all.
Gavin was the second guest to come on, after some teenage singer that had been discovered on the Internet.
“My next guest,” Eva announced, “is an actor who was virtually unknown a year and a half ago, but after landing one of the most coveted roles in film, his stardom shot straight to the top. Please welcome Gavin Flynn!”
When Gavin came out and took a seat, he seemed friendly but a little nervous. He hadn’t done very many talk show appearances, especially last-minute ones like this. The audience applauded loudly, and Eva shook his hand.
“Hey Gavin,” Eva said. “How are ya doing today?”
“Great, great!” Gavin said enthusiastically. “How about you?”
“Oh wonderful, thanks for asking. So Gavin, I hear you have a new film coming out. Tell us about it.”
“It’s called Bittersweet Memories,” Gavin began. “It’s a romantic film about this couple who are friends for several years. I play Dante, who is friends with Lizzy, played by Megan Manning. Dante is in love with Lizzy, and has been for years. Anyway, she gets her heart broken and he’s there for her, then he realizes that he just can’t take it anymore and feels he’ll never get to be with Lizzy, so he decides to take off. L
izzy comes after him, of course, and they talk about their relationship and Dante confesses his love for her.”
“So is there a happy ending?” Eva asked.
“Haha, I’m not telling,” Gavin seemed like he was getting a little more comfortable. “You’ll just have to go see the movie.”
“I plan to,” Eva said. “And what about Megan Manning?”
“She’s an amazing actress,” Gavin beamed. “Casting did their job right, that’s for sure. She took that role to a level I never would’ve saw when I first read the script.”
“I’ve heard that you two had quite the on-screen chemistry. Is that true?”
“Oh yea,” he said. “Sal, the director, said it was the best chemistry he’s seen in a while. I think a lot of it had to do with how well the script was written, and how hard everyone was working on-set. And Megan and I get along really well, so we were really comfortable filming together. She’s definitely one to keep an eye on- she’s going to have an amazing career ahead of her.”
“I’ve also heard that the off-screen chemistry is even heavier than in the film. Have you two become an item?”
Gavin rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
“Well, I know people love to hear rumors, but honestly, we’re just friends.”
“Oh,” said Eva, getting more inquisitive. “There was a picture of the two of you coming out of a restaurant in Marina Del Rey holding hands. Seems a little more than friends there.”
“Nah, we’re just good friends. We were swamped by paparazzi and I think it threw her for a loop, so I grabbed her hand so she wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. That’s all. It was just very unexpected and chaotic.”
“Ah,” said Eva, sounding a little disappointed. “So is there a special lady in your life, Gavin?”
“At the moment, no,” he sounded really certain, really firm about his answer.
Eva turned to the audience. “You hear that ladies? Gavin Flynn is SINGLE!!”
She held the last word a bit longer than she needed to, in my opinion. The women in the audience cheered and hooted. Gavin grinned with that half-smile he does, but it didn’t melt my heart this time. He blushed as his eyes grazed the audience, looking at all the young, beautiful women sitting there before him, calling his name like a pack of wild animals.
“Ladies want to know, Gavin,” continued Eva, “would you ever date a fan?”
Gavin shrugged his shoulders in a rather flirty way.
“Well, sure. If she’s my type and I’m hers.”
“And what’s your type?”
“Someone who I can talk to. Someone who will let me do things for her, and do things for me, too. Someone with a sense of humor. I’d like to meet an easy-going girl who gets me.”
That last sentence stung a bit. This interview seemed too easy for him, and the entire audience was just eating it up. My heart was sinking. I could feel the acid in my stomach churning, thinking he had been playing me all this time, and it had come so naturally to him.
“Take note, ladies,” said Eva. “You may be the future Mrs. Gavin Flynn! Thanks for being here, Gavin, and we all look forward to seeing Bittersweet Memories, due in theaters next month. Gavin Flynn, everyone!”
As the audience exploded in hoots and hollers again, I shut off the television. Sure, he got to talk about the movie and do the damage control his manager so desperately wanted him to do, but he took it a bit far. I was fuming! To top it off, I realized he hadn’t even called me since finishing the taping this morning.
As though he had heard my thoughts, my phone rang. I debated whether or not I wanted to talk to Gavin, but I finally answered the phone.
“I don’t really feel like talking right now, Gavin,” I snapped at him.
“Oh,” he said. “Did you see the interview?”
“Yea! And I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“I think we should. You’re obviously upset about it. And I…”
“No,” I interrupted. “I probably just won’t get you since I’m not easy going enough!”
I hung up the phone without letting him get another word in. Tears flowed down my face, and I sunk to the floor, clutching my legs against me and resting my head on my knees. I regretted sounding so mocking to him, but I was angry. The point of him going on The Eva Show was to promote the film and make people think he wasn’t in a serious relationship, not flaunt himself in front of millions of women and make them think he wanted all of them!
My phone started ringing- it was Gavin again. Promptly, I ignored the call. There was nothing he could say to me that I wanted to hear right now. I needed to get away, I wanted to get out of here. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be alone or have some company, but I didn’t really know where to go in the first place.
Finally, after my tears had dried on my face, I called my friend Alicia. She had always been there for me- we met in an acting class not too long after I came to Los Angeles, and became quick friends. She said I was welcome to come and stay with her and her roommate for a few days if I wanted, so I packed up a few things and headed over. Gavin tried to call me again, so I shut off my phone.
When I got to Alicia’s place, I poured my heart out to her. She knew Gavin and I had gone out a few times, but didn’t know how serious we had become. I gave her every last detail, and told her about his manager’s insistence on the interview on The Eva Show. Like a good friend, she listened closely and gave me support. We even looked up the interview clip on The Eva Show website so she could see exactly what he had said.
“Oh sweetie,” Alicia said. “I’m so sorry. It seemed like things were going well from what you said.”
I hung my head.
“Are you sure he meant what he said?” she asked.
“He seemed rather sure about it to me,” I replied.
Alicia shook her head. “I can’t believe he’d throw you under the bus like that on your relationship. Like it’s so meaningless to him, he can just parade himself for all those girls!”
“Yea, I know.” I loved the support of a friend, but I wished she hadn’t reminded me.
“On the bright side, though,” she said. “At least he said some good things about your acting. Got your name out there- that’s always a great thing.”
I fought back tears again. Alicia hugged me tightly, and let me cry on her shoulder as she rocked me back and forth. If I ever had a sister, this is what I imagined it would feel like.
“How about this…” Alicia said. “Why don’t we go put on our pj’s, I’ll grab the ice cream out of the freezer and a couple of spoons, and we’ll watch a good movie? Sound good?”
I smiled half-heartedly and Alicia wiped the last tears from my face. I went into the bathroom and changed into some comfy sweats and an old t-shirt to sleep in. When I came back out, Alicia already had the ice cream out and a couple of movies to pick from. I choose the least romantic one, and we popped it in.
When I woke up the next morning, I stretched and yawned as the memories of yesterday flooded back to me. The feeling felt strangely stale, and I tried to get myself up without dwelling on things too much. I turned my phone back on and saw I had eight missed calls- one from my agent, Robin, earlier that morning, and seven from Gavin last night.
Gavin had left two voicemails- the first time he called, saying that he really wanted to talk to me and encouraged me to pick up the pone, and the last time he called, saying that I clearly didn’t want to talk to him and that he would stop calling until I returned his calls. Reluctantly, I deleted his voicemails, although there was a part in me that felt so comforted in hearing his voice.
The message from Robin was much better to hear- I had an audition that afternoon for a role in another upcoming feature film. She said she was emailing me the sides as she was leaving the message and that I should check my inbox as soon as I can. It was a role that had been filled but the actress had to drop out last-minute and they needed an urgent replacement for a film called Expectations. I was happy to have someth
ing to take my mind off of Gavin. The audition didn’t go as well as I hoped, so I brushed it off. There would be other roles in the future.
For the next few days, I stayed with Alicia. She didn’t seem to mind, especially since I made dinner each night. On the third day, I got a phone call from Robin- I booked the role in Expectations. Filming was going to begin tomorrow in Toronto, Canada, for three weeks and I was scheduled to be on a flight in five hours. I thanked Alicia, asked her to check in on my apartment every couple of days or so, and headed home to pack.
While I was throwing my clothes and necessities in my suitcase, I debated on whether or not I wanted to call Gavin and let him know I was going to be gone. In the end, I decided I was just not ready to talk to him yet, and he didn’t need to know where I was going.
Landing in Toronto was a bit of a shock to me- I had become so used to the warm weather of Southern California that stepping out into the snow was a little overwhelming. Even under a long-sleeved shirt and two jackets, the cold ran through me. A car picked me up and took me to a cozy hotel. I unpacked and studied the script for the rest of the night uninterrupted.
Getting to the set was a different experience this time. Every film, play, and project was bound to be different from the last, but being on set for the first time since falling so hard for Gavin bordered on being uncomfortable. I introduced myself to a few people, but kept mostly quiet until shooting.
This project was quite different from Bittersweet Memories, though I found some similarities between my characters. For a moment, I became worried that I was going to get typecast from here on out, but I dismissed the thought and reminded myself that I was just lucky to be working again so soon.
The first week of filming Expectations flew by. I became completely devoured by my character and the script. It was an intense indie thriller film with a cast that was made up of people mostly where I was in their career- just getting started with one or two big projects under their belt- and one actor who had been famous in the 1980’s but became virtually wiped out of acting completely after a terrible drug problem in the early ‘90s.
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