Grady had spent time in Utah, he couldn’t help but know about the Mormons and their strange ways. “What of it?”
“The church is quite strict about many things, including the teaching of girls, yet lenient in others, such as allowing men to have multiple wives.”
“Multiple? As in more than one? What kinda fool would want that?” Grady couldn’t imagine wanting one wife, much less more than one.
“Yes, and each wife must serve and service her husband as needed, without question. Women are veritable prisoners in our faith with very few freedoms.” She reached out to touch him, but he jerked away. “I deserved that.”
“Damn right you did.” He was curious to know the rest of the story but unwilling to allow her to trick him again.
“Angeline is seventeen, so very young and innocent. She was given as third wife to a much older man, Josiah Brown, in marriage by my father. She had a beau, a man she loved who was off completing his mission, a requirement for all young men in our faith. Father wouldn’t listen and saw the marriage as a way to further his position in the ward.” Eliza sounded bitter and angry, two emotions Grady knew well. “Within a week of the marriage, Josiah was beating her every day. I tried to tell Father, but again, he would not listen to me. Angeline and his second wife ran away a month after her wedding.”
Eliza’s eyes glittered with pain for her sister and fury at the man who had harmed her. “I overheard Josiah speaking to Father about you, the man he’d hired to find her. I packed my belongings and went into Tolson to find you.”
Grady stared at her face, trying to find some sign she was lying. He’d known she wasn’t being truthful from the moment he’d slammed into her, but he’d never imagined all of this. The fool woman had taken off on her own with nothing but a sack of books and a mission to save her sister.
If he wasn’t so furious with her, he might actually be proud of her.
“I am truly sorry for deceiving you, Grady, and for causing you pain.” She reached up to touch his head then stopped and sighed. “I tried desperately to think of a way to tell you before today. I never expected you to find Angeline so quickly, and I never—” She cleared her throat. “I never expected you to be the harbinger of death for her.”
Grady’s hands started to go numb, the damn woman had tied the knots too well. “I was paid to find her and kill her. It ain’t the first time, either. I told you more than once I ain’t a nice man, or a good man. You didn’t believe me.”
She shook her head. “I still don’t.”
This time when she reached for him, he didn’t pull away for some loco reason. Eliza cupped his cheeks.
“Inside that gruff, prickly exterior is a good man with a giving heart, and it’s that man I fell in love with.”
“Stop saying that.” He twisted away again, unwilling to hear her lie to him anymore.
“Even if you don’t believe me, I know it’s the truth. I love you, Grady.”
“Shut up! Shut up! Jesus fucking Christ, woman, shut up!” Rage poured through him as he jerked at the ropes, flailing around and smashing his head into the tree. She didn’t love him, she never had. Warm blooded coated his hands as the rope bit into his skin.
“Grady, stop, please!” Eliza tried to keep him still, but he shouldered her back. She landed on her behind and stared up at him with frightened eyes.
“You should be afraid of me, woman. I told you more than once, I ain’t a nice man,” he snarled, full of so much hate and pain, he could almost taste it. “I found out long ago from my own mother not to trust a woman. After my sweet mother had my father killed; she married then murdered three more fools.”
The memory of the funerals, the grieving widow pretending to sob by each grave site, made his stomach cramp so hard he nearly vomited. “By the time I was fifteen, I’d had four different fathers, five broken bones from her beatings, and the know-how to kill. The bitch drank herself to death, so I burned the house down with her body in it and left. Ever since, I’ve been killing, hunting, and surviving.” He felt himself slipping into a frenzy of hurt and pain, unable and unwilling to let the past go. It had been his constant companion, his cross to bear for so long. Until Eliza.
She jumped on him, straddling his legs and leaning onto his shoulders. He bucked, trying to shake her off, but she held fast. “I’m not going to let you do this. I love you Grady, no matter what you’ve done, or who you’ve killed. You could have killed Angeline when you found her in Bowson, but you didn’t. Inside you is a good man, one who is capable of so many things. The man I love.” Her tears fell onto his cheeks. “Do you hear me? I won’t let you go.”
“Let me be,” he said, sounding so small even to his own ears. The life he’d led had brought him nothing but darkness, until Eliza. His heart had never beaten before, until Eliza.
Grady didn’t understand any of it. He was trapped in a twister whirling round and round until he lurched to the side and vomited. Eliza’s soothing voice murmured to him as she brought his head to her lap where he clutched her legs and wept the darkness away.
Chapter Fourteen
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Grady slept beneath the tree, exhausted by the emotional storm he’d endured. Eliza felt shaken by the experience, by witnessing him exorcise the personal demons that lurked inside him. He’d had some horrible things happen to him, and for that she cried for him.
Angeline sat by the fire and watched her. “You’re different.”
“It’s that obvious, I’m sure.” Eliza smiled sadly. “I can hardly believe it’s been three weeks since I left Tolson.”
“Is it him? I mean, was it him that changed you?”
“Yes and no.” As Eliza gazed into the fire, memories of being with Grady, of learning from him, loving him flashed through her mind. “I found an inner well of strength I didn’t know I had. There is so much I want to tell you, but now isn’t the time.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening.” Angeline took Eliza’s hands. “Please, let’s just leave here together.”
“I can’t. I know you don’t understand, and I wish I had time to explain it to you. The situation is making me choose between the two of you. By helping you escape, I’ve already chosen you. Yet I can’t simply leave him. I love him.”
Angeline’s mouth open and closed. “You what?”
Eliza had to make Angeline understand. “I love him, and I know, deep down, he loves me, too. Believe me, I performed a ridiculous amount of arguing with myself about what I’ve done, what he’s done, and what we did together. After all of that, I decided I must stay with Grady because I love him. It doesn’t matter if we’re together for one night or thousands of nights. My place is by his side for however long we both live.”
“I’m scared for you.” Angeline took Eliza’s hands. “He’s a dark man, Eliza, and scary, too.”
“He doesn’t scare me any longer. I can see underneath that mask he shows everyone else. Believe me, there is a good man in there, and I love him.” Eliza knew she was risking everything, including her life, over her feelings for Grady.
“Are you sure? Really, really sure?” Angeline might appear to others as pretty but empty-headed, but she wasn’t. She was simply soft-spoken and kept her thoughts to herself, unlike Eliza who spoke too much.
Eliza hugged her sister. “I’m very sure. Now, you must be on your way before he wakes up.”
Angeline walked over to Cab, wringing her hands and looking scared. Eliza took all the food supplies and the full canteen and followed her sister. Reluctantly, she used her pulley system to remove the bag of books and her own traveling bag from the saddle and set them on the ground. Then she removed the contraption and tucked that into her bag. The saddle was ready for Angeline.
“You must go now. Ride toward Bowson and find Lettie, then keep going as far as you can. I’ll find you, I promise, but you can’t stay here now.” Eliza didn’t want to let her sister go so soon, but she had to.
“I still wish you would leave with me.�
�� Angeline peered at the inert form beneath the tree. “We can send someone back from town to help him later.”
Eliza’s throat tightened as she realized she was about to be separated from her sister again. “Now, let’s get you on your way. Cab is an old horse, but he’s got a good heart. He’s been nothing short of amazing the last two weeks. I know he’ll be your trusty steed as well.”
Angeline eyed the horse with skepticism. “All right, but I hope he makes it back to Bowson.”
Eliza patted the horse’s neck. “Cab has more heart than ten thoroughbreds. He’ll take you where you need to go.”
She tied the bag of food and canteen to the saddle then turned to her sister. “Please be safe. You and Lettie need to be careful because I don’t think Josiah is done yet.”
Angeline nodded, her eyes huge in the moonlight. “We’ve done pretty well so far, until today anyway. We even got jobs at the restaurant in Bowson. Never thought serving food to Father would give me enough practice to work at a restaurant.”
Eliza managed a shaky smile. “I love you, Angeline. I will find you again.”
“I love you, too.” Angeline let loose a little sob as they embraced.
Eliza held onto her sister for a few minutes, savoring the knowledge she’d succeeded in what she’d set out to do—save her sister’s life. Now it was up to Angeline to be vigilant and keep herself safe.
She cupped her hand as Grady had done for her numerous times. “Here, use my hands to mount.”
Angeline stepped on her hands and made it up onto Cab’s back with grace. Eliza had always envied that about her sister, but now she was glad of it. Whereas horsemanship had always been hard for Eliza, it had come easily to her younger sister.
“Thank you for everything.” Angeline glanced toward Grady. “Be careful.”
“You, too. Goodbye for now.” Eliza’s throat grew tight as her sister rode off into the darkness and soon she was swallowed by the night.
It was time to wake Grady and convince him the rest of their lives awaited, together.
Grady listened to the sisters say goodbye, and then to the sound of the woman he’d been chasing to two weeks as she rode away on the ancient nag. He lay there and did nothing.
Nothing.
He felt wrung out from going loco earlier and had even closed his eyes to try to find his way back. Grady wasn’t used to being out of control, and he sure as hell didn’t like it. Eliza hadn’t untied him, dammit to hell, and he lay there like a crying fool.
Embarrassment didn’t sit well, and he wanted it over, now. When she walked back to him, he heard her soft footsteps in the pine needles, slightly stirring the leaves scattered throughout. Her scent, that of lavender and Eliza, caressed him as she sat down beside him.
“I know you’re not sleeping, Grady. There are signs when a body is conscious rather than unconscious.” Her matter-of-fact tone irked him.
“Aren’t you the smart one?” he mumbled. “You don’t need to keep reminding me of how much you know and how much I don’t.”
She touched his cheek. “I only know what I read in books. Everything else I’ve learned from you.” Her fingers were cool against his hot skin.
He snorted. “I don’t know if I believe that.”
She lay down and faced him. Her breath gently brushed his mouth as she spoke. “You spend a great deal of time making sure everyone knows what a terrible person you are.”
“It’s the truth.” Over and over again.
“Open your eyes, Grady.”
He didn’t want to, really didn’t want to.
“Please.”
Her entreaty plucked at his battered heart, so he complied with her request.
Eliza’s deep blue eyes seemed almost black in the shadows of the firelight. Within the depths, he saw so many things that he wanted to shut his eyes again.
“I can’t be who you want me to be,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“You already are. Please understand that I don’t expect you to change.” She ran a finger along his brow. “I never knew what being alive felt like until I met you. The man I fell in love with is right in front of me.”
His chest hurt as he tried to absorb what she was telling him. “I’m not going to love you.”
“Oh, Grady.” She sighed and kissed his forehead. “You already do.”
He didn’t answer, not that he could have even if he wanted to. There was no answer he would accept. He couldn’t love her because it wasn’t possible for him to love anyone. Grady had lost the ability long ago, if he’d ever had it. Yet he had been content with Eliza when they’d traveled together. She fit beside him, under him, and with him.
She’d betrayed his trust by lying to him about her sister. He didn’t know if he’d ever forgive her for that. He’d done many things in his life that qualified as unforgivable so he was something of an expert. Eliza had deliberately deceived him for three weeks, even to the point of knocking him out and tying him up.
Betrayal was so damn bitter.
“I was in an untenable position. I love my sister and had to help her, but then I fell in love with you. I had the unenviable task of picking her or you.” Eliza started unbuttoning her shirt. “I made sure she survived, and then I picked you.”
His heart started thumping harder with each button she freed. Her words started to echo through his ears. “You picked me?”
“Yes, I did. You see, I gave her Cab and sent her away to hide from Josiah. Now that she knows what he’s capable of, she can protect herself.” Eliza leaned forward and kissed him.
Her lips were soft, warm, and wet, and felt like an angel’s kiss.
“Stop.” A feeble and ridiculous response.
“No, I won’t stop. I need to prove to you that I am yours, that I have given up everything to be with you.” She met his gaze. “I even left my bag of books in the dirt.”
Her books? She left her books in the dirt for him? The beloved books she’d carried across the Utah terrain instead of practical things she could have used?
He could hardly believe it.
“You’ll go back and get them.”
“And then what? I don’t have a horse. There’s just you and your bay. If you don’t give me a ride, then I walk.” As she pulled her shirt from her skirt, his entire body clenched.
He wanted to tell her to stop again, but found that his mouth would not form the words.
“Don’t give them up for me. Jesus, Liz, can’t you see there’s no future for us? I’m a gun for hire, a man who kills people for money.” His voice was hoarse from shouting, from the emotions that overwhelmed him.
“Oh Grady, we can do anything, live anywhere. It doesn’t matter where or what we do, as long as we’re together.” She licked her lips, and he moaned deep in his throat.
“What are you doing?” he managed to say.
“Seducing you, giving you my love and my body, to start our future together.” She took off her shirt, and he began trembling. “Is it working?”
“No.”
She stepped out of her skirt, and he realized she wore only the lacy chemise, the one she’d worn the day he’d given her the ring. Blood rushed through him, making him lightheaded.
“I think it is working. Let me in, Grady.”
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to say?” He wanted to run, to tell her he hated her, to escape from the onslaught of her gentle seduction.
He couldn’t.
She nodded. “Perhaps it is, but you don’t need to ask me at all. What I have, what I am, is already open to you.”
Eliza pulled off her chemise until she was completely naked in front of him. She was beautiful, ethereal in the moonlight like a fairy creature in front of him.
“Untie me.” He didn’t want to be seduced while he was her prisoner.
“Not yet. I want you to you accept my love and to understand that I am giving you everything I am.”
“What does that mean? Liz, untie me.”
“No.”
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Grady wanted to scream at her, to tell her to put her clothes back on. Truthfully, he didn’t want her to stop, he just didn’t want to be at her mercy tied up. It still rubbed him the wrong way that she’d been able to tie him up in the first place.
He hated her for making him weak.
He loved her for making him feel.
Eliza rose from the ground, naked, and walked over to pick up the knife from Grady’s pile of things. She had to let him loose, had to take the chance he would accept the gift of her love.
He watched her with a dark, glittering gaze. The firelight had burned down to embers, casting him in deep shadows. His clothes were askew after she’d half-undressed him and made love to him. She wanted to straighten them but knew he would protest loudly if she tried.
She cut the ropes binding his feet first, then set the knife down and knelt behind him. Her skin broke out in a clammy sweat as helped him to a sitting position. What he did when he was free would determine what happened in their lives.
Had she gone too far? Had her deceit destroyed any chance they had of being together? Had his?
Too many questions and no answers. With her mouth as dry as the desert, she reached for the ropes on his wrists. They were covered with blood, and she sucked in a breath of pain for him. “Oh, Grady, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Tears pricked her eyes as she tried to untie the knots without hurting him any further.
“Just cut them.” His voice was strained, harsh.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s too late for that, Liz. Just cut the goddamn ropes.”
With a sob stuck in her throat, she picked up the knife and carefully cut through the knots she’d tied. Eliza had had no idea just how tight she’d made them, or how well she had secured him. Her anger had made her cruel.
He flexed his hands as she freed them. Eliza stood and returned the knife to the scabbard. She heard him rise and fix his clothes.
Nude, she had no defenses, no way to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. She had to give herself over, body, heart and soul to him.
She trembled before the fire, her back to him as she waited for him. He walked toward her, and her heart stopped beating when his hands closed around her throat.
Ruthless Heart Page 23