by Julia Kent
Why couldn’t life be an endless stretch of time in bed with four hands on her? She snickered, letting the tension ooze out of her body, willing herself to take deep breaths until she felt okay.
Because no one pays you to do that, she told herself. Unless you’re a porn actress.
That last voice sounded suspiciously like Josie’s.
Thirty minutes later, she’d triaged her email and realized she needed a cup of coffee before heading into the meeting. Walking past Debbie’s desk, she saw the receptionist and Rick holding their respective smartphones, heads huddled, each typing.
Debbie winked at her as Laura heard Rick mention a party at a club Laura had heard of, but never been to. Debbie laughed and touched his arm, while Rick leaned in, eyes all over Debbie’s cleavage.
Good for Debbie and Rick. Get laid and have fun. For now, Laura’s sex life would exist only in her mind.
And her nightside table.
I’m never that girl, she thought as she went to the coffee station and made herself a cup.
Only in my dreams.
* * *
“So what if a geekazoid wasn’t hot for your bod, Laura,” Josie declared as they sat at at her kitchen table. Laura’s head was pounding; they’d gone to a nightclub last night at Laura’s urging. After watching Debbie and Rick at work, she needed to do something that made her feel like a normal twentysomething in the city. Like she had a life beyond Netflix and ice cream.
“I know. I do, really. It’s just...it’s like he went from being a friend to being an asshole with one makeover. Why would he do that?” Laura muttered. Josie had managed to drink the entire pot of coffee before Laura got any. She impatiently waited for the new pot to brew so she could wake up.
“He’s a guy,” Josie said with a wave of her hand.
“Guys sure do get a pass for just being guys,” Laura grumbled.
“And yet we want them in our beds.”
“And hearts!” Laura protested.
“Oh, yeah. That. Hearts and shit,” Josie said absentmindedly, staring at the computer screen.
“What are you doing?”
“Typing up your online dating profile.”
“My what?” Laura was wide awake now. “Why on earth would I want to do that? Online dating is like getting Lasik surgery with a two-for-one coupon. Sounds great at first, but when you think about it...”
“You need to get out there. Find someone. Anyone.”
“Anyone?” Laura shivered. “If I take anyone I’ll find myself chained to a basement wall being used as a tester for new kitchen knives and chastity belts.”
Josie shrugged. “If that’s your fetish...” and started typing.
Laura smacked her in the shoulder. “Don’t you dare write that down!”
“Then you write it!”
And that’s how she found herself composing a personals ad with her best friend cheering her on. Normal? What’s normal?
“Hot, luscious piece of ass who can suck a golf ball through forty feet of garden hose seeks rippling-ab’d firefighter who has a tongue that thrums like a hummingbird and enjoys painting my toenails and eating Ben & Jerry’s out of the carton while watching Mad Men.”
Laura stared at the online dating site’s registration screen and frowned. That’s what she really wanted to write. Here was the truth:
“Needy, insecure, overweight twenty-six year old financial analyst with three cats, a corporate job with pension and no debt seeks Mr. Impossible for way more than friendship and lots of ice cream. I’m desperate for some physical affection and oral sex with a guy who doesn’t view it as some sort of favor he’s granting me, and then expects to be praised like he cleaned my toilet. One night stands are better than nothing as long as you brush your teeth. Call me!”
“The guys are going to bang down your door with that one,” Josie cracked. “One cat is normal. Two and you’re on dangerous territory. Three? You’re practically running a no-kill shelter out of your home. Don’t talk about your cats in an online personals ad. That’s like the guys who talk about their mom in their profiles. Cuh-reep-eee.”
Josie started typing, biting her lower lip and deep in concentration.
“Voila!” she shouted, her hands spread wide in a grandiose gesture. “There’s your ad.”
She announced:
“Luscious, curvy financial analyst seeks friendship and more. Financially independent and self-assured, I’m a fit woman who wants a man (or, more than one! YOLO!) for stimulating conversation...er, yeah. Conversation. Message me (or massage me!).”
“I can’t write that!” Laura groaned. “It makes me look like I want an orgy!” She squinted at the screen. “And what the hell is ‘YOLO’?”
“Who doesn’t want an orgy?” Josie wiggled her eyebrows lasciviously and stuck out her tongue, waggling it in a very bad imitation of oral sex. “And YOLO stands for ‘you only live once.’”
“Cut it out. You’re turning me on. It’s been that long since I got some ass, and the last guy used his tongue like he was a Roto Rooter man. Like that.” She pointed at Josie’s tongue and bent over, laughing.
Then Josie, with a flourish, pressed the “Submit” button. “Thank you for joining—your profile is now live!” the screen read.
And now Laura waited to see if dreams really do come true...
THE END...
of this prequel. Thank you so much for reading, and here’s more!
You can learn what happens when someone (or two someones...) respond to Laura’s online dating ad by continuing and reading the New York Times bestselling boxed set, Her Billionaires.
This series started in 2012 and readers have asked for more, so I listened! The reading order is:
Before Her Billionaires
Her Billionaires: Boxed Set (books 1-4 from the original series)
It’s Complicated
Complete Abandon
Complete Harmony
Complete Bliss
Complete We
You have more than 1,400 pages ahead of you...happy reading! You can find the first part of the Her Billionaires Boxed Set FREE in Her First Billionaire. Here’s a preview:
Her First Billionaire
Grab Her First Billionaire FREE!
COULD SHE REALLY FIND THE RIGHT GUY ON THE INTERNET?
“Hot, luscious piece of ass who can suck a golf ball through forty feet of garden hose seeks rippling-ab’d firefighter who has a tongue that thrums like a hummingbird and enjoys painting my toenails and eating Ben & Jerry’s out of the carton while watching Mad Men.”
Laura Michaels stared at the online dating site’s registration screen and frowned. That’s what she really wanted to write. Here was the truth:
“Needy, insecure, overweight twenty-six year old Business Analyst with three cats, a corporate job with pension and no debt seeks Mr. Impossible for way more than friendship and lots of ice cream. I’m desperate for some physical affection and oral sex with a guy who doesn’t view it as some sort of favor he’s granting me, and then expects to be praised like he cleaned my toilet. One night stands are better than nothing as long as you brush your teeth. So call me, maybe!”
So when hot firefighter Dylan Stanwyck responds and asks her out, it’s just too good to be true. When she searches him online and learns he offers himself up for date nights in bachelor charity auctions, she wonders if she’s on the right planet.
Because what could a guy like that see in a fat girl like her?
OR WOULD HE NOT BE WHO HE SEEMED?
Trawling through the online dating profiles isn’t Dylan’s idea of fun, but it’s been more than eighteen months since their lover, Jill, died, and Dylan and his unconventional partner, ski instructor Mike Pine, need to find a new love. While their threesome situation is more complicated than a contract from Fifty Shades of Grey, at least one aspect is simple: Laura Michaels, the cute, soft blond from the online dating site, seems like a good fit for at least a first date. Soft curves, gorgeous hair, eyes tha
t light him up from the computer alone, and a profile that makes her seem smart and interesting—he has no problems asking her out.
The problem is letting her in.
Dylan and his not-quite partner have more secrets than their unconventional romantic relationships, and this latest snafu is a mixed blessing, for both became billionaires overnight after the third in their threesome, Jill, died. With her estate finally settled and Dylan and Mike the recipient of an annual income that gives them enough to buy entire towns in the Midwest, the two were left reeling. Months after the lawyer explained their new-found fortune, Dylan still works his regular shifts at the station while Mike remains on the slopes as a ski instructor, but with a caveat; now he owns the entire resort.
But if they tell Laura everything, they risk losing a chance at a new bond.
Two problems may have one lush, ample solution as Laura meets her first billionaire on her date with Dylan, but with a stunning twist at the end...
Get Her First Billionaire FREE now at most major eBook retailers! Just do a search for Julia Kent.
Other Books by Julia Kent
Suggested Reading Order
Before Her Billionaires
Her First Billionaire—FREE
Her Second Billionaire
Her Two Billionaires
Her Two Billionaires and a Baby
Her Billionaires: Boxed Set
Complete Abandon (A Her Billionaires novella)
Complete Harmony (A Her Billionaires novella #2)
Complete Bliss (A Her Billionaires novella #3)
Complete We (A Her Billionaires novella #4)
Random Acts of Crazy
Random Acts of Trust
Random Acts of Fantasy
Random Acts of Hope
Shopping for a Billionaire 1
Shopping for a Billionaire 2
Shopping for a Billionaire 3
Shopping for a Billionaire 4
About the Author
Text JKentBooks to 77948 and get a text message on release dates!
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Julia Kent turned to writing contemporary romance after deciding that life is too short not to have fun. She writes romantic comedy with an edge, and new adult books that push contemporary boundaries. From billionaires to BBWs to rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every book she writes, but unlike Trevor from Random Acts of Crazy, she has never kissed a chicken.
She loves to hear from her readers by email at [email protected], on Twitter @jkentauthor, and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/jkentauthor . Visit her website at http://jkentauthor.com