by Kat T. Masen
“Are you kidding me, Lex?” I blurt out.
“We’re a close-knit family. If Julian’s going to be part of it, surely they should know?” he says innocently.
“Lex, please stop.” Mom shakes her head, disappointed. “Julian, I want to apologize for my son’s behavior.”
“Emily, it’s to be expected. To answer your question, Lex, I wasn’t coping well with the death of a friend, and recent events caused the pain to resurface. I thought it was best to start new.”
“And go after Charlotte?” he states.
“Oh my God, Lex, will you just drop it?” Charlie pleads, fed up with his ludicrous behavior.
My mom lectures Lex and is clearly standing on her own as my dad is drinking his wine, looking somewhat amused by Lex.
“I’m not just going to drop it, Charlotte. It’s fairly obvious why he’s here.”
And here we go.
“Wow! I knew you were a selfish asshole, but I didn’t think you thought that little of me.” I pull my chair back and leave the room in a huff, walking outside to the backyard.
The fresh night air calms me down to the point I’m no longer seeing red, just a bright shade of pink. It’s not long before Julian comes outside, sitting down beside me on the step.
“We always knew this was going to be difficult, Adriana.”
But why is it only Lex making it difficult? He’s my brother, he saw firsthand the pain I endured losing Elijah. Why can’t he just be fucking happy for me?
“I just hate that he makes me feel like I’m nothing. It’s all about Charlie. He hasn’t once stopped to think that maybe I’m just as good as Charlie.”
“It’s isn’t a competition.” He pulls me onto his lap, and I wrap my arms around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. “I don’t blame him, you know. I’d be the same in his position.”
“Wait? You would?”
“Think about it, Adriana. I wasn’t a saint, and for a long time I did try to steal Charlie away from him.”
“This isn’t helping me.”
“Just let him do what he needs to do. For now, let’s focus on us, okay?”
And that’s the great thing about Julian, he’s rational, and even at the worst of times, he makes me see sense. The door creaks, and I turn around to see Charlie standing behind us.
“Hey, kids. Thanks for leaving me in the lion’s den.”
I know she is joking, her half-smile reassuring me that she can handle it. Charlie’s strong. She doesn’t let things get to her like I do.
“Julian, Andrew wants to know if you would like to join him in the den, something about a documentary on some disease thingy.”
“Sorry, beautiful.” He kisses my forehead, and I climb off him.
As soon as Julian is gone, Charlie speaks, “Adriana, just ignore Lex. There’s no point arguing with him. It’ll be a waste of time.”
“But surely that must have been uncomfortable for you? What gives him the right to treat Julian and me that way in front of my parents?”
“Yeah, it was. My hands are tied here. I want you to be happy, but I can’t control Lex.”
She’s right. Charlie may be his wife, but Lex has always been stubborn. She has a hold over him, but this is one of those times where he refuses to listen to anyone or thing besides his psychotic head.
“Has he been treating you badly this week?” I ask, guilty she has to put up with him.
“Yes and no. He’s got his mood swings, that’s for sure. But for the most part, quite the opposite, he has been more demanding, um… physically.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t need to spell it out for you,” she huffs, her eyes widening while watching me. “You don’t really want to hear it, do you?”
“Who cares? It’s no hidden secret that he’s apparently a god in the bedroom.”
“I never said that!”
“Oh… maybe Eric, then.”
“Ever since I came home from your house, any quiet moment we have alone he ravages me. And I mean ravage to the point that it’s like back in New York when we had just started up again.”
“Well, maybe that’s his coping mechanism.”
“It’s his way of controlling what he believes is his.”
“No surprises there. Oh well, it’s nice, I guess.” My tone flattens.
“Adriana, what’s wrong? I mean, apart from the obvious?”
Should I tell her about the doubt creeping in? How that raven spooked me, and all I can think about is Elijah? In some ways, Charlie is so lucky to have it all. She has a man who will move heaven and earth for her, two beautiful children, money, the works. Jealousy is an ugly trait, and one not to be had toward your best friend.
The door opens, and we both turn to see Lex. He asks Charlie if he can have a moment with me. She stands and leaves, closing the door behind her. Lex keeps his distance, standing behind me while I continue to sit on the step avoiding his presence.
“I’ve got nothing left to say to you.”
“Adriana, why do you have to make my life so fucking hard?”
I turn abruptly. “Your life?”
He keeps quiet. So quiet only the owls loitering in the trees can be heard.
“Out of all the people in LA, why him?”
I stand up in a hurry. “I’m not wasting my breath. I don’t expect you to understand. All you really care about here is Charlie. Not me.”
I walk back inside the house. It’s quiet.
In the living room, my mom, Charlie, and the girls are watching a movie. Standing around for a few moments, I easily get bored and go in search of Andy.
In the den, my dad and Julian are watching a documentary, engrossed in a lengthy discussion about the African government. It’s probably best I leave them alone, and just as I’m about to walk out, I catch a glimpse of Andy sitting on Julian’s lap with his head resting on his chest, happily sucking on his thumb, again.
The strings to my heart are pulled every which way, the contentment on Andy’s face indescribable. This isn’t all about me, this is about what Andy needs as well. Everyone needs a father, one who can take you to soccer practice or coach little league, teach you all about the birds and bees because Mama knows it’s the most awkward conversation of all time.
I wander back to the living room but remember I need to grab something from the guest bedroom. Making my way past the bathroom, an unusual sound escapes the room. What the hell is that? It’s more of a moan, and just when I’m about to open the door, it becomes too clear.
“Charlotte, you are mine. You fucking understand me?”
It’s followed by a low rumbling moan.
You’ve got to be kidding me!
I run out of the hallway fast, determined to erase the image creeping into my brain along with the sex moans. Dear God, please give me amnesia now. I’m out of breath by the time I enter the den, letting Julian know it’s time to leave.
By the time my dad and Julian have said their goodbyes and arranged to meet up to discuss his trip in more detail, we’re in the hallway when a very flustered Charlie turns the corner. She avoids eye contact, and when she goes to hug me goodbye, I place my palm in front of her, stopping her.
“No thanks, God knows what’s all over you.”
With that comment, her face turns beet red. Even Lex looks pleased with himself. I don’t say goodbye to him, and Julian knows not to even attempt but does say farewell to Charlie. It pisses Lex off, and his smirk falters into a bitter expression.
Outside, we walk along the path until we reach the car. With Andy strapped in, I let out a sigh of relief when I sit down. I shiver in disgust at the thought of them going at it in the bathroom. It’s not like they are horny teenagers, they have a whole house to themselves and sleep in the same bed every night.
“Why the shakes?” Julian asks as he reverses the car out of the driveway.
Without even thinking, I burst out, “Argh, just… gross… catching Lex and Charlie going at it in my parents�
� bathroom. I mean, where’s the respect?”
A silence follows, and Julian’s face shows no expression. His grip on the steering wheel looks tighter than usual. I expect him to say something, but he doesn’t for the entire ride home. Andy is the one talking, and as soon as we park the car, Andy is quick to speak, “Jay, can you please read me a story tonight? The one with the puppy losing its mama?”
Julian releases his belt and turns to face Andy. “Sure, kiddo.”
He ignores me, and I’m taken aback.
Inside, Julian is reading to Andy in bed. It isn’t long before Andy asks, “Jay, will you stay here in my bed? The monsters talk to me, and I’m scared.” Julian nods and pushes his hair aside.
I stand outside the room, wanting to ask what the hell happened in the car. Why did he have a problem with Lex and Charlie having sex? Yeah, it was gross, but why did it bother him this much that he has to give me the silent treatment? He falls asleep beside Andy, and I don’t have the heart to wake him.
I climb into bed and hope that he will sneak in during the night.
It never happened.
There’s a corner in my guest room upstairs with the most magnificent view of my neighbor’s backyard, replicating an oasis.
The trees are leafy, green, and spread throughout the manicured garden enhancing the main feature—the Olympic-size swimming pool. On a warm day like today, I’m really trying to suppress the urge to strip off and jump into the pool. The pool may have been the main attraction but superseding that would have to be the young pool boy. He’s easily in his early twenties, a tan to die for, and snake hips which will get any libido up and dancing. The first time I saw him, I knew Eric would be all up in that like an ill-fitting swimsuit, so I call him immediately.
Never in my life have I ever known Eric to be on time for anything, so you can imagine my shock when the doorbell rings fifteen minutes later. The profanities Eric can think of for a man-part never cease to amaze me.
Much to my disappointment, pool boy’s off duty today. It doesn’t stop me enjoying the view, though, and with my headphones on, the shuffling of my music drowns out the silence allowing me to work on some new designs for beachwear I’ve been playing around with. Somewhere during ‘Footloose,’ I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder. At first, my imagination does that ‘you’re cuckoo,’ and I ignore it, but it becomes heavier, and I turn slowly to see Lex standing behind me. Startled, I pull off my headphones and drop my papers and pencil on the floor.
Crouching down, he assists me in picking up my papers as I mumble under my breath. “What are you doing here? You scared the shit out of me, Lex.”
I place everything on the side table and walk away, ignoring that he’s following me downstairs to the kitchen. He stands in the archway, and I open the dishwasher and start unloading.
“I’m here to pick up Andy.”
I don’t look at him, taking the plates out one by one. “Well, he’s not here.”
“He has soccer training in half an hour,” he points out.
“They changed the time. It started an hour ago, and besides, Julian took him.”
The earth may just have shaken with the rage flooding Lex’s veins. This is mainly my fault. Early this morning, I suggested Julian take Andy to soccer. Once Andy had it in his head, he wouldn’t let up, even getting himself dressed as best as he could. Soccer for little ones mainly consists of running around and tantrums. It isn’t competitive and a great way for them to learn how to play sports.
Lex always takes him to soccer, except for last weekend, and that’s his own stubborn fault for using Andy as a pawn in this twisted situation.
Amongst the clink of the dishes, I can hear the sound of him grinding his teeth, his eyes are closed and fists clenched tightly against the wall, and he lashes out, “Why the hell aren’t you with them?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, the smoke alarm is faulty, and someone is coming over to look at it.”
He is glaring at me, eyes blazing trying to intimidate me, and I ignore him much to his annoyance. That used to work on me, but I’m not ten anymore. The doorbell rings on cue, and I walk past, knocking into him on purpose.
Thank God, the electrician is here.
“There’s my beautiful daughter-in-law!”
Mary Jean pushes past me, carrying an overnight bag. Oh, fuck no. She places it down and hugs me so tight my body is mushed into her boobs. The cheap scent of her drugstore perfume invades my nostrils as I struggle to break free.
“I bet you’re shocked to see me so soon?”
“Yeah, shocked would be one word for it,” I respond plainly.
She pulls my arm toward the kitchen, and the second Lex is in sight, she lets go of me so fast, smothering Lex in an over-friendly hug which is borderline dry humping. He’s uncomfortable and awkward, trying his hardest to pull away. Sucked in. Serves him right.
“What brings you to LA, Mary Jean?” Lex asks politely, using his arm to create a respectable distance.
“Well, I haven’t seen my grandbaby in almost two months, and every time I try to call this lady, she’s busy and can’t talk.”
Dammit. We could’ve avoided this if I had just called her more often. Too bad you were thinking with your vagina rather than your head.
Mary Jean scans the room. “So, where’s Andy?”
I shoot a glance at Lex who’s obviously relishing in my awkwardness, waiting for me to respond. I’m about to open my mouth when Andy comes running through the house. Covered in mud, his blond hair is almost brown, and his face is streaked with dirt. Grass stains cover his knees, but he couldn’t have looked any more pleased with himself.
“Mama! Mama!” He stops in his tracks when he spots Mary Jean. With a wide smile, she beckons him. Quick to run into her arms, she smothers him with kisses despite being covered in dirt.
Julian soon follows, walking into the kitchen, spotting Lex first. Immediately, his face drops, his smile is soon replaced with an arctic glare, and the room temperature rises as the tension hits an all-time high.
The uncomfortable silence is soon broken by Mary Jean’s flirtatious flick of the hair. “Who’s this fine young gentleman?”
There’s no better time than now to reveal the truth. “Uh, this is Julian, my um… boyfriend.”
Mary Jean is crestfallen. Her cloudy eyes stare back at me in disbelief. “Excuse me, your what?”
“Julian, this is Mary Jean. Elijah’s mother.”
Julian greets her politely only to be ignored. He isn’t fazed. Moving toward me, he rubs the small of my back to ease my worry.
“Andy, go upstairs to your room, and I’ll be there in a minute to give you a present, okay?” she tells him.
“Kay kay, Grandmama.” Andy doesn’t leave immediately, hopping from foot to foot, then bolts out of the room announcing he is Superman, prompting Mary Jean to focus her attention back to us.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon to be moving on? Did Elijah mean that little to you that you can move on so quickly?”
“Elijah meant everything to me. But it’s been almost three years,” I stutter.
Julian reaches for my hand, placing it in his. “I had the pleasure of meeting your son a long time ago. He was a great man. Adriana and Andy were blessed to have him in their lives.”
Mary Jean’s face softens. “He was a great son, too. I don’t know why they had to take…” She breaks out into sobs. I grab a tissue from the counter and hand it to her. With a gentle smile, she settles down.
“You know what else, Mary Jean? Julian is Charlotte’s ex-fiancée,” Lex tells her.
Mary Jean stops mid-sob, the thirst for gossip an obvious distraction.
“Nice introduction, Lex. It’s always fun to reminisce,” Julian bites back.
Mary Jean starts asking questions. I’m annoyed at Lex for bringing it up and extra annoyed with Julian for his insensitive comment.
Does no one at all care about me? It’s always about fucking Charl
ie!
I let go of Julian’s hand and move toward the cupboard, grabbing myself a much-needed drink. With my back facing them, I close my eyes to calm myself down.
Lex announces he is leaving and reminds me about Rocky’s birthday tomorrow night. I don’t respond, nor do I turn around, wishing they would all disappear and leave me the fuck alone.
Mary Jean grabs her bag, complaining about her sore back. Julian, being polite, offers to take it upstairs. They disappear for a while, presenting a perfect opportunity to raid my cupboard and take a Valium.
“What’s tomorrow night?” Julian creeps up behind me.
He doesn’t touch me like before, leaning against the opposite counter.
“Remember I told you about Rocky’s birthday party? It’s being held at one of Nikki’s client’s homes in the Hills.”
“Oh, right, the costume party? I don’t feel like going,” he responds flatly.
“But it’s the first time we’re going somewhere as a couple, and I thought you already had your costume which Andy helped pick out?”
“Yeah, of course, he had to pick Batman. It’s a given, isn’t it?” The bitterness to his tone catches me off-guard as does the sudden change of heart.
He doesn’t say anything, and I continue on, “Is it because Lex and Charlie will be there?”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, but I’m not riding in the car with them.”
“But a car’s coming to pick all of us up, so we can drink.”
“You’re coming with me, or I don’t go.” He walks over, and just when I think he’ll change his mind and apologize for his odd behavior, he kisses my cheek and tells me he’s leaving.
As the door clicks shut behind him, I try to make sense of the conversation. I’m not quite sure why all of a sudden, he is demanding and fighting me. The change in personality has left me baffled and questioning our relationship. He always said that Charlie and Lex wouldn’t be an issue, yet he seems to be going against what he said, and it feels like they are the biggest hurdle in our relationship when realistically, it should’ve been Elijah and Chelsea.
Mary Jean makes a humming sound as she saunters into the kitchen. Grabbing a cup, she pours herself coffee and leisurely takes a seat at the table. Her company doesn’t allow for me to brood any longer and pouring myself a cup, I sit beside her and start chatting.