by Kat T. Masen
“You know…” I say with a devilish grin, “… we do have a spare minute to celebrate on our own.”
“I only need fifteen seconds.” He smirks, lifting and moving me toward the staircase where he places me on all fours and takes me from me behind.
Planning a child’s birthday is one of life’s greatest pleasures.
I know that one day Andy will grow up and parties will be a thing of the past, my excuse for lavishing him with ridiculous gifts and over-the-top decorations.
Andy is going through a huge Spiderman phase, so it makes sense to decorate the house with his favorite superhero. Outside on the patio are plenty of red and blue balloons, positioned around the tables decorated with Spiderman plates and cups. Across the roofline hangs cobwebs with tiny black plastic spiders trapped inside them.
Julian is busy dressing Andy, so I can finish the final touches when he races out of the house dressed as Spiderman, of course. His cute tiny face is hidden by the mask, and his excitement is demonstrated by the karate moves he keeps doing. I kneel and ask him for a hug at which he informs me that superheroes don’t hug their moms.
Great, it’s starting already.
That dampens my mood, and Julian picks up on it straight away.
“Hey, Spiderman, I bet your muscles are super strong and that you can squash this lady?”
Andy nods, and he runs back squeezing me really tight. I take advantage of it and hug him so hard before he runs into the backyard chasing Ash and Blaze. Julian comes up from behind and embraces me. I allow myself a moment to rest in his arms. Birthdays are an emotional time—a day that marks my little boy growing up. It feels like only yesterday, he came into the world, and time just continues to fly by.
My parents are the first to arrive, carrying way too many gifts. My mom busies herself in the kitchen, organizing platters and snacks for the guests. I’m not surprised my dad has pulled Julian aside. Much to my surprise, they organized a trip to South America together during a luncheon they both attended the other day. Julian postponed his trip to Morocco with everything that went on with Andy, yet was desperate to visit a small town which has been wiped out by floods a year ago. My dad is equally as keen to provide some medical assistance as their hospital was demolished. Both of them are extremely passionate, and occasionally, I’ll sit down to listen to their plans, enthralled in how much is involved and what it does for the town people.
“The flights are booked, so next Thursday, we’ll be leaving,” my dad tells me.
It’s selfish of me to sulk, so instead, I busy myself with my mom who deep-down knows how much I’ll struggle. “Only two weeks, Adriana. Just think of how Daddy and Julian are helping those families, okay?”
The squeal of Amelia followed by an unsteady Ava invades the kitchen. Amelia is long gone, jumping like a frog on crack on the bouncing castle outside. Ava is stopped by my mom. I love this little girl so much. She has a calm and quiet nature, flying under the radar largely due to her sister’s energetic personality. Charlie enters the room, but her face looks livid, and without saying hello, she dumps a baby bag on the ground and storms off outside.
What was that about?
Lex walks into the kitchen but does not follow Charlie outside. His face looks softer, not at all like Charlie’s. These two are worse than Nikki and Rocky at times. I pray Julian and I will not end up being that type of couple.
“What going on with Charlie?” I prod.
“She’s pissed off at me.”
“What’s new?” I say flatly.
“I got her pregnant again.”
I almost drop the jug I’m holding onto. “Lex? Are you for real?”
He gives me a weak smile, even in his state of shock.
It seems like the perfect opportunity to point out the obvious. “The psychic said—”
“I knew you would say that. Do not, and I repeat, do not bring that lady up in front of Charlotte.”
I laugh. “Congratulations, bro.”
“I can’t do this, Adriana. Three kids under four?” I can hear the panic in his voice.
“Of course, you can do this. Besides, you don’t really have a choice now. You can’t put the mouse back in the hole. I can’t believe I’m going to be an aunty again!” I squeal.
“Yeah, if only Charlotte could share your enthusiasm,” he mutters, walking off to the backyard.
I watch through the window as he tries to place his hand on her shoulder, but her glare is so icy that he backs off and heads over to where my dad is firing up the grill.
All the guests have finally arrived, including Hazel, Penny, Fred, and Jerry. All four of them are like family to both Julian and me, even though at times, Jerry argues that family is for losers, but to know Jerry is to love him, quirks and all. Around Andy, he changes, becoming a big kid at heart and protects him like a big brother would.
“You’ve done amazing, Adriana.” Hazel smiles beside me.
“You know what?” I say, unable to hide the grin on my face. “I have, haven’t I?”
Hazel embraces me, proud of my willingness to admit I’ve done something right in my life despite my constant need to drag my failures to the surface.
“It’s always there, sweetheart. You just need to fall to be able to look up and see the stars.”
Mom steps outside, and I quickly introduce her to Hazel. They hug it out. Mom’s so grateful to finally meet Hazel and the rest of our friends after I’ve spoken so much about them the last few weeks.
The guests are chatting amongst themselves as the kids play happily in the bouncing castle. Birthdays are so tiring. Between making sure everyone is fed to entertaining the kids with games, I’m ready to bring out the cake.
My mom carries the cake outside, proud of her creation. It’s a three-tiered fondant cake which all the kids gather around, oohing and aahing, not to mention one of Andy’s little friends who has jabbed his chubby finger into the cake already.
We all warm up our lungs and commence the traditional birthday salute, singing loudly at the birthday boy.
“Blow out your candles, Andy.” I nudge him gently.
Andy stares at the cake, frightened by all the attention he is receiving, and buries his face into Julian’s neck. Julian whispers something in his ear convincing him to turn around. He blows out all three candles as our family and friends cheer him on. I clap along with them, posing with Julian and Andy as my mom snaps away with her camera.
My baby is a big boy now.
I grab the knife to cut the cake as a distraction to stop the tears from flowing. Eric stands beside me, his drool almost touching the ground as he eyes off the white chocolate mud cake. Penny is just as bad, biting her nails contemplating whether she indulges in the cake or not.
“I’d be in negative Weight Watchers points if I ate that cake,” he announces.
Rocky pulls up beside him. “Dude, that’s kinda gay being on Weight Watchers, isn’t it?”
“Well, first of all, I am gay, and second, it won’t hurt you to look in the mirror once in a while.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that someone’s carrying around a spare tire.”
I burst out laughing, not the best thing to do with a knife in hand. Rocky has put on a few pounds, but I wouldn’t call him fat.
“It’s sympathy weight,” he tells us.
“Excuse me?” Nikki yells. “Are you trying to say I’m the fat one now?”
“No, babe, all I’m saying is that maybe you should lay off the hormones, you know, estrogen makes you hungry.”
Charlie has joined us at the table and has caught wind of the conversation. We both whistle at the same time, shaking our heads at Rocky. He’s in deep shit now.
“Keep digging, Romano, ‘cause you’re about ten feet under, and I guarantee you, you ain’t getting any conjugal visits from me,” Nikki warns him.
Eric, the cause of this petty fight, slaps his knees as he cackles uncontrollably. Sometimes, Eric just
has no idea when to stop.
“Nikki, if it makes you feel any better, Eric split his pants at Starbucks the other day. He went to pick up a quarter, and a little girl pointed it out to everyone.” Tristan laughs.
Penny shakes her head while pursing her lips. “Oh, honey, with an ass like yours, you would’ve been the talk of the town.”
“Why would you tell everyone that? I died of embarrassment. I can never go back there again.”
Tristan nods. “He was the talk of the town, especially because he wore his leopard print thong.”
Our collective loud gasps are enough for Eric to bury his head into his hands. Penny is clutching her chest but quickly nods her head as if agreeing with his choice to wear leopard print thongs.
“It was laundry day, okay?” Eric barrels, frustrated. “Quit judging me... I had nothing else to wear.”
“Hmm… actually, that does make me feel better.” Nikki smirks.
Charlie takes a slice of cake, shoving it into her mouth with enjoyment. She licks her lips, but then her face changes, almost looking nauseous. She mumbles under her breath, and all I can hear is, “Fucking jerk can’t wear a goddamn condom.”
I place my arm around her, coercing her to smile. She gives in a little and takes another slice of cake, this time a much bigger piece.
“Well, I’ll be sporting cankles soon, thanks to that jerk over there.” She points her finger at Lex.
Eric and Tristan are the first to react, sandwiching Charlie in a group hug. Rocky looks over to Nikki, and her face drops immediately. I know they are trying for another baby, and perhaps this isn’t the best thing to hear right now. She walks off to a secluded part of the patio and takes a seat, watching her son, Will, play ball with Andy. I rest my hand on Rocky’s forearm, informing him that I’ll go talk to her. He’s concerned, and it’s obvious how much this is taking a toll on both of them.
“You wanna talk about it?” I ask, sitting beside her.
She smiles at me, but underneath, I can see the pain she’s in. Trying for a baby when everyone around you is falling pregnant is a difficult emotion to get a grip on.
“I know it’s hard to hear someone else is pregnant when you’re trying,” I tell her, straight from my own experience. “When Elijah finally agreed to IVF, we only had one chance. Five eggs, and only one made it to become an embryo. Now that little embryo is trying to kick Rocky in the nuts.”
Rocky is playing with the kids, but as Andy gets him straight between the legs, Rocky winces. Oh well, he brought it on himself by saying he was invincible.
Nikki isn’t like Charlie or Kate, even though she’s a strong-willed woman. She is very reserved at times and keeps her life private. Rocky’s the woman in the relationship, always gasbagging about one thing or another.
“Just don’t understand why it’s so hard,” she admits.
“Uh-huh, or why sixteen-year-old girls have sex once and get pregnant?”
“Yes! I blame that jealousy on Rocky for always watching MTV while we’re in bed.” This time, she loosens up.
I place my hand on hers, extending the friendship. “It will happen when the time’s right. Whether it be naturally or with IVF, and when it does, this feeling will be a thing of the past.”
“Thank you, Adriana.” She smiles, relaxing her shoulders. “So, what about you and Julian? Babies on the cards?”
“We have our plate full with Andy, and to be honest, I want to enjoy him. I want to enjoy us for now.”
“Oh, I hear you. Your kitty must be as high as a kite right now,” she teases.
I laugh and realize if there’s anyone who can give me sex advice, it’s Nikki since Charlie is officially off duty.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Squirting… have you done it?”
“No. Well, not naturally. Rocky is obsessed with it, so I spent some time researching how to do it, and well, I’m not blessed that way.”
“I don’t get it, so then what do you do?”
“Well, I kinda squirt water up there, and when I come, the contractions just squirt it out.” She laughs.
“Wow! I didn’t realize it’s this huge thing…”
“Totally. Guys are like obsessed with it,” she says casually, and due to my silence, puts two and two together followed by a loud gasp. “Oh, Adriana, please tell me you’re one of these people who can? Let me live vicariously through you.”
My face reddens. “Yes, but Nikki, I don’t know whether to be mortified or grateful.”
“Grateful… a squirter is always grateful,” she reassures me.
We both burst out laughing loud enough that Charlie makes her way over to us. She asks to talk to Nikki in private, so I leave them to it and make my way over to the other parents. Doing my duty as party host, I immerse myself in the conversations as we talk about our kids and compare parenting tips.
Both Nikki and Charlie return, the two of them looking much happier. I’m glad they had a moment to talk things out but made a mental note to check in with Nikki in a few days to make sure she is okay.
“So, go tell Adriana the great news?” Nikki nudges her with a grin.
“There’s great news?”
Charlie rolls her eyes at Nikki the same time Eric has caught wind of the conversation. When it came to so-called news or gossip, Eric is always front row and center with popcorn in hand.
“It’s not great news, just news,” Charlie clarifies. “My cousin, Noah, is coming to stay with us for a bit next month.”
Eric’s eyes widen while his hand clasps his chest as if you’ve just told him he’s won an Oscar.
“Noah, your hot, ‘spank me sideways because I want a piece of those man buns’ cousin?”
I raise my hand toward my mouth, covering the small laugh which escapes me. Charlie’s cousin Noah is hot, and yes, thanks to Eric I have seen his Instagram page. Charlie never speaks about him much except for him being a few years younger than her. The guy can pull off a suit, that’s for sure. And okay, the shirtless gym pictures are damn sexy. I blame Eric—he’s online stalking is borderline creepy.
“Can you not?” Charlie scowls, shaking her head. “He’s my baby cousin. Go back to saying inappropriate things about my husband. That’s less disturbing.”
“Baby cousin? Oh, honey, have you seen him in a suit? Let’s just say when you zoom in, his rooster is saying cock-a-doodle-doo.”
“This conversation is over. It’s like me talking about Lex in front of Adriana.”
I let out a huff. “Um, which you have several times. You know what? This is great payback. Go on Eric, tell Charlie about the gym shorts picture where you swore you saw his balls.”
Charlie opens her mouth wide, shocked I’d even gone there. Serves her right, like I want to hear about my brother and his insatiable dick.
With a devious smirk plastered on Eric’s face, Charlie walks off and leaves us behind.
“So, I’m thinking massive welcome party and we hook him up with Kate?” Eric suggests, waiting for my response.
“Oh, nice plan. You think she’d be into him?”
“Honey…” Eric places his hand on my shoulder. “Do you think this is my first rodeo? You leave this to me and focus on your gorgeous boyfriend.”
“If I wasn’t married, I’d so be tapping Noah’s man buns,” Nikki says as we all watch Rocky show the kids how he can eat two hot dogs in one sitting.
“I want to say you’re a lucky woman, but I’m torn between the thought and wondering how Rocky can fit so much in his mouth?” Eric questions.
Nikki shakes her head with a look of disgust. “Maybe Noah can be my toy boy on the side?”
Both Eric and I laugh at the same time.
Rocky is unaffected by our curious stares, enjoying the children’s demands as they challenge him to fit more hot dogs in his mouth. This could go two ways real fast.
“Poor Noah, he hasn’t step foot in L.A. and already he is a hot commodity,” I men
tion quietly, feeling sorry for the guy if Eric makes it his mission to interfere in his love life.
“Well… that’s what happens when you’re blessed with good genes,” Eric is quick to point out. “I’ll be gentle on him, I promise.”
The party is slowly winding down as my neighbors and some parents attempt to go with screaming children, probably high on sugar and refusing to leave. Andy grabs a few goodie bags and hands them out, settling them almost instantly. Nikki and Rocky call it a day with a late flight back to New York due to Will’s baseball game tomorrow. They say their goodbyes, and an emotional Charlie hugs Will for a long time. He is close to her height, almost a teen, having shot up obviously taking after Rocky. He’s a gorgeous kid, and with that gene pool, he’s going to break hearts all over the world.
“You’re growing up way too fast,” Charlie cries softly.
“It’s only because you don’t see me every day, Charlie,” he reminds her.
“You used to call me Cha Cha.” She laughs through her tears.
“I also used to wear diapers,” he jokes. “I’ll be back next summer.”
Charlie hugs him again, making him promise to call her each week. They have a special bond, and it’s touching to see how motherly she is with Will. Sometimes, I can’t believe that Lex and Charlie could’ve also had a child that age. Fate works in mysterious ways.
With everyone gone, Eric and Tristan stay back along with Charlie and Lex. Tristan, my savior, walks around with a garbage bag collecting trash. Eric moans as Tristan forces him to do the same. They work in tandem silence, and just when Eric says something about floating cake in a kid’s cup, Tristan leans in and kisses him lovingly. As they pull away from each other, Eric’s face is of pure contentment, smiling back at Tristan as they both take a moment to appreciate each other.
“So, tomorrow’s the big day?” Julian asks, patting Tristan on the shoulder.
Tristan has been cast as a lead in a Hollywood blockbuster being filmed in Dubai. The fame is already starting with hordes of girls begging for selfies wherever they see him. According to Eric, he will be gone for three months, and this will be the test as to how strong their relationship is.