by Nancy Pirri
~ * ~
On a worn vinyl-covered sofa, Leif sprawled beside his Uncle Ty, his mother’s eldest brother. He made a mental note to purchase a new sofa for him, knowing his uncle couldn’t afford one. Grimness settled inside him then, and he knew he wouldn’t be buying a new couch. Uncle Ty wouldn’t allow it. The old guy had too much pride to accept expensive gifts, even if they did come from his nephew.
Chastising himself for staying away from the reservation so long, Leif decided it was time to get reacquainted with his family. He thought over his last visit seven months ago, when he’d argued viciously with his mother. Nothing new there. He’d been arguing with her since the age of fourteen.
Uncle Ty, known as Darkheart by his tribe, was his favorite relative. His mother always said it was probably due to the fact that Ty was so much like him, in size and disposition.
The trailer house, one of hundreds located on the Red Lake Reservation, was in pretty good shape, even though he knew it was at least thirty years old. It seemed to be the main form of housing on the reservation. Poverty surrounded him, yet it amazed him that his native brothers and sisters seemed to be content with their lives. The living standards had improved somewhat since the opening of the Grand Red Lodge Casino. He hated the place, but it did provide work for his friends and relatives, in one capacity or another.
“You know, son, sooner or later you’ll have to talk to your mother.”
Leif shrugged. “Now why would I do that? She’s been less than honest with me.”
Ty replied, his voice low and firm, “It wasn’t the right time for her to tell you the truth. You were only fourteen when you left home, not old enough in your mother’s opinion to know the truth.”
“Fourteen wasn’t old enough to tell me the identity of my father? Damn it, Uncle Ty! She treated me like a child when I was nearly a man.”
The older man growled, “A boy who behaves without honor toward his mother is not a man. I don’t want to hear any more disrespectful words from you about my sister, Leif. She did the best she could raising you alone.”
Leif snorted. “You agreed with her decision, didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t my place to agree or disagree. You were her son and she felt it best to wait a bit longer. She planned on telling you on your eighteenth birthday.”
“Sure she did.” Leif made no attempt to hide the disbelief in his voice.
“But you left home and didn’t return for what, six years?”
“Eight.”
Leif slunk lower in his seat as guilt niggled at his conscience. Maybe he should have given his mother the chance to tell him about his father. He remembered badgering her constantly about the man’s identity from a young age. That was the one concession his mother made the day before he finally left home for good; she’d told him his father had been a white man, as if that information was news to him. All his supposed friends at school, once they learned he was a half-breed, taunted him unmercifully He should never have done that damned family tree assignment in sixth grade, where he had to show ‘father unknown’. No. She should have told him the first time he’d asked about his old man instead of telling him he was too young.
Leif couldn’t control the bitterness in his voice when he said, “It’s pretty pathetic that a man who wasn’t a blood relative treated me better than my own family.”
Ty’s old, dark eyes met Leif’s. “You were damned lucky Old Roy Thompson took you in.” He chuckled then and held his round stomach. “God, I still remember the day your mother and I got the call from the police in Orr, telling us how you were caught trying to hotwire Roy’s truck. He saved your life, and you know it. And he sure as hell didn’t need to pay for you to get an education at that fancy school out east, either, did he?”
“No,” Leif said softly, staring down at his hands. His foster father had had high expectations of Leif. He smiled to himself as he thought how proud Roy had been as he’d watched his commencement from Michigan State University. While his degree had been in Natural Resources, he’d never utilized it. Gateway was his life’s passion. His degree was something he could fall back on if something, God forbid, were to happen to Gateway.
~ * ~
Three days later, Leif still hadn’t returned. Unfortunately, Maxie had taken ill leaving Cassandra to run the store on her own, and at the height of the fishing season, too. Who was she kidding? She’d easily managed the groups of fishermen who’d stopped by to purchase bait, and the occasional tourist interested in Gateway’s few wares. Still, she hadn’t left her post, which meant she hadn’t gotten a chance to get down the basement to wash clothes during the week. The last two days she’d resorted to wearing a sundress since every pair of jeans, shorts and t-shirts she owned were dirty.
There wasn’t a thing wrong with her dress. She smiled as she thought about the record bait-selling day she’d had today. When she’d mentioned her fantastic sales to Maxie on the phone last evening, the woman had laughed. Then she proceeded to tell Cassandra that the big sales were due to how fetching she looked, adding that word traveled fast about pretty women in the area.
Now Cassandra lay in the hammock and stared at the stars as she did each evening, missing Leif, and hating to admit it. It was early August now. They’d managed, thus far, to live together without doing bodily harm to each other. As a matter of fact, their relationship had improved markedly since they’d decided their fates would be determined in the fall.
A tickling sensation traveled up her leg and startled her. She bolted up, her heart pounding madly at the thought of one of the wildlife critters infringing on her domain. She grinned then, knowing it was Shep when she saw his body, illuminated by the outside light on the store behind her, lumbering down the dock, toward the lake.
“Shep! Don’t!” she shouted when she saw him but was too late when he jumped into the water. She scrambled from the hammock, tore down the steps, and paused at the very edge of the dock. Her worry soon turned to amusement when she saw him dog-paddling in circles, moonbeams glistening down on his sleek wet head.
She sank to the deck and sighed, watching him enviously. The water did look refreshing. After awhile she heard a familiar droning in the distance and soon the lights of Leif’s seaplane appeared just above the water. Her heart sped up when he smoothly landed the plane and guided it to the dock. She rose to meet him but Shep beat her to it. She smiled when the dog clumsily climbed the few steps of the ladder, jumped onto the dock and shook his body. Water flew in all directions, spraying Leif.
“You old mutt!” Leif shouted, laughing and squatting down beside him. “You keeping the woman company again?”
He’d often referred to her as ‘the woman’. She’d recently decided she wouldn’t mind at all if he called her his woman.
Groaning inside, she wondered what was wrong with her. It was time she had some sort of social life. And meeting other men would give her a different perspective with regards to her growing attraction to Leif. Making new friendships with other women was important, too.
She frowned. Her self-imposed isolation here at Gateway 24/7 made socializing difficult so she decided to talk to Maxie about social activities in Crane Lake, and maybe some volunteer work she could do, too. Being a volunteer always afforded great opportunities to meet people.
He came to his feet. With his hands on his hips he smiled down at her as he drew closer. He stopped directly in front of her and said, “Miss me?”
She shrugged and stared down at her toes. “Maybe a little.”
When he didn’t make a comment she gave him a covert look and flushed at the intent look in his eyes. She should have turned off the outside light before he arrived. Just a look from those incredible eyes of his made her blush. “How about you?” she finally asked when she dared to meet his eyes again.
He gave her a quizzical look. “How about me what?”
“Did you miss me?” she daringly inquired.
Leif stared at her in silence. Finally, he said, “A man can
get lonely in the north woods by himself. Real lonely.”
Cassandra coughed at his reply, then said, “I thought you were visiting your family.”
“Only for a few days, then I camped out by myself. I would rather have had you along for company.”
She widened her eyes on him when he reached out, grasped her arms above the elbows, and drew her up onto her toes. He moved his head closer and she knew he intended to kiss her. Just before his lips touched hers, she saw the lustful look in his eyes.
He growled, “Better stop me, Cassie-girl. Once I start something, I finish it.”
“How can I stop you when I have no idea what you plan on doing?”
The air was charged with energy and she savored his hold on her. Her arms, of their own accord, came up around his waist and she tipped her head back, knowing precisely what he wanted. She was beginning to think she wanted the same thing.
Before she could think another thought he swooped down and took her lips, not with the fierceness she expected but with a gentleness that made her knees wobble. One big hand cupped the back of her head, and he tangled his fingers in the hair at her nape. The other hand he wound tightly around her waist, holding her in place.
She eagerly responded to the kiss and she wound her arms around his neck. When he finally eased away, her eyes widened on the dark, sensual look in his eyes. She backed away, knowing she shouldn’t have kissed him, realizing he would assume she’d hop into bed with him.
“Come inside with me,” he murmured, bending to her again.
She stared at him a moment, then shook her head. “That’s exactly what I plan on doing, but not for what you think, Leif. I’m turning in for the night. Alone.”
She reached for the door handle at the same time he did. She shivered at the sweet contact of his firm, masculine grip on her hand. She pulled her hand away and he moved around her, brushing against her back and opening the door. She entered, her spine tingling at his closeness. She arrived at her door, opened it, but suddenly his arm barred her from entering. She looked up into his scowling face.
“I’m trying to decide something, so help me out here. You appeared to enjoy that kiss as much as I did, so what’s the problem?”
Heat flashed through Cassandra’s cheeks and she stammered, “I—I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to enter into a physical relationship since neither of us has feelings about each other that way.”
“Why is it when a man wants to make love to a woman she assumes it’s the same thing as wanting an emotional commitment?”
Scowling back at him, she said, “It’s only lust that we’re feeling for each other. Besides, it’s possible I may be leaving in the near future. It wouldn’t be wise of us to become involved physically, would it?”
A triumphant look crossed his face. “I agree.” He rocked back on his heels and said, “So, when are you returning to Chicago?”
Steaming inside, she stalked into her room, her balled fists on her hips. Whipping around, her scowl deepened when she found him lounging against the doorframe, a big grin on his face. “You mean to tell me you came onto me on purpose, thinking you could scare me off?”
He straightened up. “I had no plans to scare you off. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted a hell of a lot more, too, but changed my mind. You’re right that it isn’t wise for us to become involved since you’ll be leaving soon, but a few shared moments of intimacy would have been nice.”
Cassandra drew herself up and curled her hands into fists at her sides.
“Temper, temper,” he murmured.
“Don’t let the door slam you in the ‘you know what’ on your way out,” she snapped.
He closed the door and leaned back against it. “You don’t want me to go.”
“In your dreams!” she blared.
Leif just laughed and headed straight for her.
Cassandra backed up until her legs hit the bed and she sat down. She stared at up at him as he stood over her. “Enough of the cave man tactics,” she said, trying to keep a bored tone in her voice. “Get out.”
She tried to remain calm and stay aloof, even though it was damned difficult doing so. Human nature was taking over, but thankfully she recalled her vow of celibacy, swiping away temptation in one mental sweep. Now, if the man were to propose marriage that would be different. That thought gave her pause. What in the world was she thinking? She wasn’t that desperate to marry and start a family, was she? Oh, yes, you are, a little voice inside said.
She gasped when he went down on one knee right in front of her. Leaning back to escape such close proximity to him, she gaped at him, thinking there was no way the guy was going to propose marriage! He couldn’t be. But then he did something unexpected, and without saying a word. She lost her own ability to speak. With his hands on either side of the bed he leaned over and kissed her gently, softly, tempting her to lean in close to him.
She managed to keep her lips tight, not cooperating with the kiss at all, avoiding the temptation to wind her arms around him and pull him close. After a moment he lifted his head, an impatient look on his face.
“You wanted that kiss. Admit it.”
Cassandra sighed. “Of course I did.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Its personal.” She shoved at his shoulders.
He rose from his knee and flopped down on the bed, folded his arms behind his head, and stared at the ceiling, a perplexed look on his face. “I’d say we’re being pretty personal right now. You know that you’re thinking too much, don’t you?”
She rose from the bed, turned away without a word and rummaged in her closet. With robe in hand she headed for the door.
“Where are you going?”
She paused and glanced at him over her shoulder. “To take a shower and turn in for the night. As you’ve informed me often enough, five o’clock comes very soon.”
“That’s all you can say?” he asked incredulously, as he sat up, “after that kiss we just shared? What kind of game are you playing?”
She stared at him. “Games, Leif? Isn’t that what you were doing a moment ago?”
She gained some measure of satisfaction when his high cheekbones turned ruddy, but he didn’t say a word. He just sat there, an accusatory look on his face.
“All right. I’ll lay it out for you. One. I took a vow of celibacy with the break-off of my last engagement, and will keep it until the day I marry—if I ever do. Two. Since it’s possible I won’t be staying, it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to become involved. Three. I don’t date younger men.”
He scowled and sat up. “And how would you know my age?”
“Grandfather told me, and I can add. You said you were fifteen when my grandfather gave you Shep fourteen years ago.”
“I’m not a teenager, he growled. I’m twenty-nine years old—thirty in a month.” He looked her over once more before meeting her eyes. “How old are you, anyway?”
She tipped up her chin. “Almost thirty-two, which is too old for you.”
All right, she knew that was a negligible excuse for not becoming involved with him, but she had a hunch others wouldn’t work. It was the best excuse she could offer for not getting involved with him. Leif wanted her. She smiled bitterly, recounting the number of men who’d wanted her, unfortunately for all the wrong reasons.
She headed out of the door.
Leif grumbled as he left her room, and heard the shower running next door. In the kitchen he opened the refrigerator and reached for a can of beer. As he popped the top he thought, so what if she was a little older than him? What difference did it make? And what was this celibacy nonsense? He found it difficult to believe a woman of her age could still be untouched.
He had a lot of questions he wanted answers to and he’d get them soon, he decided, one way or another. He slammed out the front door and sat down on the top step, staring out at the water, drinking his beer. Shep appeared at his side and licked his face.
“Hey, there, o
ld buddy. Women. Go figure.”
The mournful calling of the loons, and the light rushing of the wind caused the lake water to beat against the dock. He loved those sounds and always associated them with home. Suddenly, Cassandra’s piercing shriek broke the quiet of the night.
Chapter Five
He tore into the house. When he reached the bathroom he was relieved to discover she hadn’t fixed the broken lock on the door. He shoved open the door and stormed inside to find her standing in the tub, clutching a towel against her body.
Cassandra’s tearful eyes met his. Leif’s heart wrenched as he reached into the tub and lifted her off her feet and into his arms. She yelped and struggled against his hold.
“Be still, damn it.” He was satisfied when she did exactly as he ordered. When he reached her bedroom he set her down on her bed. She yelped again.
“What in the hell happened? Did you burn yourself?”
She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, her face turning a flaming red color. He sank down beside her when she said, “I got stung by a bee.”
He expelled his breath, relieved. “Is that what all that ruckus was about?”
She narrowed her eyes on him. “Not just once, but three times! Maybe more,” she wailed. “And on...”
Leif wondered why she’d stopped in mid-sentence and then recalled Roy telling him not to open the bathroom window.
“You opened the window, didn’t you?”
“It was steamy from my shower so I let in some air.”
“Guess I forgot to mention that screen has holes in it, too.” Leif braced himself when he added, “And there’s a beehive under the eaves.”
She shoved a finger in the middle of his chest. “The first thing tomorrow, buster, you are going to fix every single screen in this house. And you’ll drown out that beehive. Understand?”
He nodded and rose from the bed. “Okay. Tomorrow, for sure.” He left the room but remembered something after she slammed the door shut. He gave a tentative knock and she opened the door with a scowl.