by Sarah Morgan
“Well, he should be. It’s time he found a woman.”
Alec’s father winked at him and reached across to top up his glass. “Merry Christmas,” he muttered under his breath and Alec gave a half laugh.
“I’m not interested in finding a woman. I don’t want a woman.”
His grandmother turned to his mother with a puzzled look. “What did he say?”
Suzanne Hunter raised her voice and spoke clearly. “He said he doesn’t want a woman.”
“That’s what I thought he said, but it doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t he want a woman? Is he saying he’s gay? Has he come out?”
“He’s not gay, Mum.”
“Are you sure? Because Skylar is a beautiful girl. The only reason a healthy, vigorous, single man wouldn’t be interested in her would be if he were gay. And that would be fine. I want him to know we’ll love him whoever he is.” Alec clenched his jaw. “I am not gay.” He was aware of Skylar, sitting across from him. Her head was bent over Nelson so he couldn’t see her expression but he was fairly sure she was laughing.
Liv was definitely laughing. “Don’t post anything about being gay on Twitter, you’ll break a hundred thousand female hearts.”
“If he isn’t gay, why isn’t he seeing someone?”
“He’s not in a hurry to get involved again,” his mother said briskly. “And we’ve talked enough about Alec’s private life. You know he doesn’t like discussing it with people.”
“We’re not people, we’re family. Family care about these things. If this is about the divorce, well, it’s been several years since Selina, and picking badly once doesn’t mean he’s going to do it a second time. Just because you bite into one rotten apple, doesn’t mean you have to chop down the whole tree. He needs to get back on the horse.”
Liv sent Alec a look of sibling solidarity. “You’re mixing your metaphors, Granny.
“He should be dating again. Skylar is single and the dogs love her. They’re a very good judge of character.”
Alec wondered what it was going to take to get them to leave his love life alone. “I’m grateful for your concern, but I can manage my love life by myself. If and when I choose to start seeing someone, I can do it without the help of my family. And that includes the dogs.”
“Nelson and Church could set up a dating agency,’ Liv suggested helpfully. “I’ve got the perfect slogan. ‘Don’t let your relationship go to the dogs.’”
His mother finished her drink and stood up. “Mum, come and help me in the kitchen,” she said firmly. “I need to deal with the food. Dinner is game casserole.”
“Made with a bottle of my best burgundy,” his father murmured as he stood up, giving Alec a sympathetic look over the top of his glasses. “Let’s hope not all the alcohol has evaporated. I have a feeling we’re going to need it. By the way, did I tell you all that Lydia Taylor is pregnant?”
Attention shifted away from Alec and his parents and grandmother walked into the kitchen together, catching up on village news. Church took advantage of the open door and bounded into the room, his wagging tail sending decorations flying.
Liv grabbed him. “You have to start behaving now you’re running a dating agency. You’re CEO. Canine Executive Officer.” She hauled him out of the room, leaving Alec with Skylar.
He was the one who broke the silence. “I apologize for my grandmother. I hope she didn’t embarrass you.”
“Not at all. But I’m guessing she embarrassed the hell out of you.” Her eyes were alive with laughter. “Oh, Alec—” She gave up containing it, laughing so hard the tears poured down her cheeks. “I love your grandmother. She is a wonderful, priceless, darling person. I want to pick her up and take her home with me.”
Right then he wouldn’t have stopped her.
Much as he loved his grandmother, he would have packed her bags and stuck her on the plane himself. “She doesn’t know the meaning of the word tact.”
“But that’s what’s so perfect. She’s honest. She’s speaking from the heart. She cares about you.” Wiping her eyes, she sat up. “Sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but your family is so—so—”
“Exasperating? Interfering? Certifiable?”
“Special. If I were a writer, not an artist, I would have got a movie script out of tonight.” Her smile sent desire marauding through his body. She held nothing back. When she was angry she showed it. When she was amused, she laughed. She wore her emotions on the surface without apology or restraint. With Skylar there was no guessing. What she felt was right there for everyone to see. She lived life with the brakes off.
He wondered if she was as open and unrestrained in the bedroom.
His palms ached with the desire to reach out and haul her against him. He wanted to rip her clothes off and screw her right there on the couch, an urge he intended to resist at all costs no matter how much it would delight his grandmother.
“What would you have called your movie? The Twelve Humiliations of Christmas?”
Her smile dimmed. “You’re really upset. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? You weren’t the one trying to manipulate my love life.”
“But I know how that feels. And I’m sorry because although I know you hate talking about your marriage under any circumstances, the real reason you’re upset is because your grandmother talked about it in front of me. Not only am I pretty much a stranger, but you don’t even like me. Revealing deep feelings to someone you don’t know is an uncomfortable experience. It makes you feel vulnerable. I know, because that’s how I felt yesterday.”
The only sound in the room was the crackle of the log fire.
“You didn’t seem vulnerable.”
“Are you kidding? First I bled on you, then I threw up in front of you. That, believe me, is a low point for anyone, so don’t talk to me about being emotionally vulnerable because where you are concerned I have been naked in every possible sense of the word. I have a clear recollection of thinking ‘kill me now’ at several points last night.” She gave a crooked smile that told him that no matter how bouncy she seemed, the past twenty-four hours had wounded more than her head.
“Out of all that, the worst part was throwing up?”
“No. The very worst part,” she said slowly, “was needing your help in the first place. If I’d made a list of all the guys in the world I would not have wanted to see me at my lowest point, you would have been right there at the top. In the summer you made it clear you thought I was hopeless, and I actually enjoyed our moments of unarmed combat where I proved you wrong and then suddenly, wham, I’m in a situation where I prove you right.” Her surprisingly honest admission unlocked something inside him.
“That’s not how I see you.”
“I know exactly how you see me, Alec. To you I’m this ditzy, useless, princess blonde who can’t get through a meal without having her hand held and the annoying thing is that I can’t even prove you wrong right now.” There was an edge to her tone and she rubbed her fingers over her forehead and gave a helpless shrug. “Ignore me. It’s not a contest.”
“That’s not how I see you,” he repeated. “I know I’m the last person you would have chosen to have by your side through this, and yet despite everything, despite the fact that your life has been shredded in front of someone you hate, you have been gutsy, good-humored and dignified.” Her throat moved and she stared hard into the fire. “I don’t hate you. And that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Probably the only nice thing I’ve ever said to you.” And he felt a flash of guilt because he knew that the reason for that had nothing to do with her. “I think you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met, but you’re right that I’m not good at disclosing personal details in front of people. Anyone. It makes me feel—”
“Naked? Alec, I was naked in front of you. Literally. So I think I’m winning in the battle of personal humiliation.” He wished she hadn’t brought that up.
“I hate it when my fa
mily talk about me. It’s like walking into the supermarket and discovering I’ve forgotten to put on my trousers.”
“That happens often?”
“Never. But it was a recurring nightmare of mine when I was eight. It stayed with me.”
Her smile was back, warm and generous. “Mine was discovering I was wearing odd shoes.”
“It worked out well for Cinderella.”
“That was one shoe, not odd shoes. I don’t think Prince Charming would have looked twice at her if she’d been wearing one red Prada and one silver Jimmy Choo.” She started clearing up the glasses. “Why do you hate talking about your marriage?”
“I’m not good at admitting failure.”
“Is it failure or is it life?”
“It definitely feels like failure. I tried to make it work, but I couldn’t give Selina what she wanted.” Why the hell was he telling her this? “I hurt her. Badly.”
Sky gave him a long look. “And she hurt you.”
“Most of it wasn’t her fault.”
“You really believe that? Is that why you don’t date? Because you think you’re this bad guy who is going to hurt women? That’s bullshit, Alec.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I’ve learned a thing or two since yesterday. I never would have guessed this in the summer, but it turns out that buried underneath that badass, moody exterior is a real chivalrous streak. I know that because nothing less than a chivalrous streak would have driven you to take me back to your hotel room and then bring me here. And I suspect that is what prevents you from placing the blame for your divorce where it should surely lie. On the shoulders of your ex-wife.” She walked to the door and paused while he opened it. “I think your grandmother is right. You should start dating again, Alec.”
He clenched his jaw, thinking that he felt more naked now than he had when he’d stepped out of the shower. If the weekend carried on like this, they’d have no secrets left by the end of it. “That isn’t going to happen.”
“It should. It’s true that you border on the arrogant and your communication tends to veer toward sarcasm, but you have great biceps, and there are plenty of women who find brooding and cynical to be attractive traits. If you kept your mouth shut, I’m sure you could attract one of them.” Flashing a smile, she walked past him, leaving him drugged by a light cloud of perfume and a lethal dose of lust.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT WAS THE nicest evening Sky could remember.
Dinner was delicious, the conversation lively and afterward they all gathered in the living room. With its exposed beams and blazing log fire, it was warm and cozy.
There were books everywhere, she noticed. Not just crammed into the floor-to-ceiling bookcases, but stacked on tables, markers in the pages. Books that weren’t there for display, but to be read and talked about. Part of life, not an artful piece of decoration.
Suzanne was obviously enjoying having a house full of people. “Charades, Sky?”
She turned. “Sure. I love charades.”
They split into teams. She, Liv and Alec’s mother on one team versus Alec and his father and uncle. She threw herself into it, acting, miming and indulging her dramatic side.
They won easily, but not before Sky found herself laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe.
Why didn’t they play this at home?
She dismissed the thought instantly. Not even after a few glasses of champagne could she imagine her parents, or even her brothers, suspending dignity long enough to play charades.
Alec was sprawled in front of the fire, long legs stretched out in front of him, watching her from under those thick, dark lashes.
His scrutiny made her uncomfortable.
She was well aware that their relationship had altered in subtle ways. They were locked in a strange, indefinable intimacy while at the same time being virtual strangers.
Whenever they’d met in the past, he’d left her feeling like a cat whose fur had been stroked the wrong way. She’d felt judged and feeling that way had stoked her resentment, but she knew she’d been guilty of judging him, too. She’d dismissed him as a hardened cynic but after twenty-four hours in his company, she knew differently.
She also had more questions than she had answers.
There was no doubt that his divorce had been bitter and acrimonious and that the experience had sharpened the edges of his cynicism.
There were plenty of family photographs placed around the warm, friendly living room, but none of Alec’s wife. With the exception of his grandmother, the family tiptoed round the subject, as if they were dealing with a grenade with the pin removed.
Glancing at the photo on the mantelpiece, she saw a boy of about twelve wearing a determined expression as he hauled himself up a rock face.
“That was taken in Wengen, Switzerland, near the Eiger.” Intercepting her glance, Alec’s father lifted it from the shelf. “Do you remember that trip, Alec?”
“Of course. It’s not easy to forget a trip where we both nearly died. That was one of my earliest lessons in survival.”
Suzanne put her hands over her ears. “I’m not listening. I’m better off not knowing.”
“The weather changed,” Simon murmured. “I had to make a decision about whether to descend or bivouac overnight. I decided we’d be safer staying put until morning.”
Alec held out his hand for the photo. “The snow was so heavy we had to dig our way out of the tent in the morning.”
“And there was a perfect blue sky.” Simon handed him the photo. “We went on climbing expeditions every summer until Harry seduced you over to the dark side.”
Sky glanced between them. “The dark side?”
“The sea.” Suzanne poured coffee and passed round the cups. “Harry was a marine. Whenever he was home on leave, he’d take Alec sailing and diving. You’d think that would have given me less to worry about, but instead of scaling mountains in snowstorms they were exploring wrecks in the deep, dark ocean.”
Harry grinned, unrepentant. “I take full responsibility for Alec’s chosen career path. Forget Oxford and Harvard—the outdoors is the best classroom in the world.”
It was like watching a team sport being played.
Family life.
They passed the ball and worked together.
They painted a picture of a boy who was bold and adventurous. He wasn’t remote, she thought, he was self-contained. He’d learned to care for himself.
A survivor down to the bone.
He’d been raised in a family who had encouraged him to explore and push himself to his limits.
She thought about her own childhood, regimented and tightly scheduled. She’d gone from piano lessons, to French classes, to dance classes, every moment of her day planned out. Her parents believed in expanding the mind and keeping busy. Sometimes all she’d longed to do was lie on her back in a field and look at the sky but inactivity was actively discouraged in her family.
There had been no time to relax and let her imagination run free.
She sat, nestled on the large sofa in front of the fire, wishing she could freeze time. Here, in this cottage, the outside world had ceased to exist. Here, for a while, she could forget about Richard, her parents and all the difficult decisions that needed to be made.
She delayed the moment when she went to bed, but in the end they agreed that with two energetic four-year-olds arriving the following morning they all needed their rest.
Sky didn’t look at Alec. She didn’t need to. The tension was flowing from him in waves and it was obvious that sharing a room with her for another night was yet another intimacy he would rather have been spared.
She went up to the room first and stood watching snowflakes fall onto frozen fields. The landscape glowed ghostly pale in the moonlight. Instinctively she reached for her pad and drew several swift sketches. Moon, stars, snowflakes—she played with different shapes and ideas knowing that most of them would never leave her sketch pad.
Bu
t some of them—
She stared at the sketches. Some of them could turn into something.
Maybe … maybe …
An idea floated just out of reach and before she could grasp it the door opened behind her.
She closed the pad quickly as Alec walked in.
“You can sleep in the bed. I’ll take the couch.” His tone was brusque as he closed the door firmly between them and the rest of the house.
Even though his family was on the other side of the door, here they were alone.
The contrast between the rigid set of his shoulders and the intimacy of the room didn’t escape her.
“This is awkward, and you’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.” He undid a couple of buttons on his shirt and then paused, as if trying to reconcile the reality of their relationship with their current situation.
“Do you think your mom kept me in here on purpose?”
“Probably. She’s hoping we’re going to succumb to temptation.” He rolled back the sleeves of his shirt and dropped to his haunches in front of the fire.
“We know each other better than either of us ever thought we would, that’s for sure.”
And the really complicated thing was that the more she knew, the more she liked.
Alec added another log to the flames. Then he stood up, his powerful frame almost blocking the flickering light. He seemed about to say something else but at that moment her phone rang and she picked it up and froze.
It was her father.
It didn’t matter how many years passed, she felt the same way she had at the age of eight when she’d been told that he wanted to see her in his study.
“I—I need to take this.”
Alec gave a curt nod and walked toward the door as Sky gritted her teeth and turned her back to answer the call.
“Hi—”
He called her maybe twice a year, and never for a chat.
She listened while he told her in blunt terms what he thought about her refusal to marry Richard.