by Sarra Cannon
Tears ran down my cheeks at the story that unfolded through the journal. Jackson came through the portal in demon form, looking for his brother. He'd killed six women before he was trapped in human form, his powers stripped from him.
The thought of Jackson killing all those people was hard to process. My hands wouldn't stop shaking and my entire body was tense. The image of him as some dark shadow coming through with nothing but rage and hatred made me feel sick to my stomach.
But how could I blame him for what he'd done? If someone took my twin brother away and forced him into eternal slavery, I'd be angry too.
Only, why had they kept him alive all this time? Why not just bind him to human form and then kill him? Why was he forced to stay here in Peachville for all these years? It didn't make sense. If the witches hated him so much and he was despised for what he'd done, why was he still alive at all?
I searched through the rest of his file, but couldn't find an answer. The final page in the folder was a single note indicating that the stone statue that held Jackson's demon power was still here in town.
In front of Peachville High School.
I Couldn't Cry Another Tear
I sat on the floor of Mrs. Shadowford's office for way longer than I intended.
I closed Jackson's file and wiped away my tears. Outside, I could hear the tapping of rain against the roof. The clock on the wall said eight-fifty-eight. Mrs. Shadowford could be home at any minute. I carefully placed the file back where I'd found it and closed the drawer tight. I double-checked the floor to make sure I hadn't dropped anything or left any papers flying free. Everything looked just right.
The door of the Shadowford van slammed closed outside and my heart rose up into my throat. They were home. I only had a few minutes to get out safely and get back up to my room. With my emotions going haywire, I was worried I wouldn't be able to make myself invisible, but after a few failed starts, I finally disappeared and was able to slip out of the room and lock the door behind me.
I was only halfway up the steps when the front door opened and Ella Mae wheeled Mrs. Shadowford into the house. I froze in place and waited for them to unlock the door to her suite and go inside, then darted up the stairs and into my room.
Exhausted, I collapsed onto my bed. My search hadn't gotten me any closer to finding Caroline's attacker, but it had brought on a whole mess of new emotions I wasn't prepared to deal with.
After reading the account of how Jackson came to this world, I understood better why he didn't want me to know. It couldn't exactly be a fond memory for him at this point. At the same time, how did he expect us to get closer and really learn to trust each other if we couldn't be honest about where we came from? Did he think I would hate him for what he'd done?
I spent the next three hours sulking about the information in Jackson's files. I went from being angry at him one minute for keeping it a secret from me this whole time, to feeling such sadness at his being trapped here for so long, unable to save his brother. I'd never felt like such a basket case in my entire life.
The rain wasn't helping, either. It continued to pour like a waterfall outside my window. I sat in the windowsill, staring out at Jackson's house and thinking about how it must be to be trapped so far away from home.
I didn't even know how old he really was. He'd been here in our world for fifty years, but his brother was here fifty years before that, which put Jackson at least around a hundred. How could someone who'd lived so long and gone through so much really care about a sixteen-year-old girl like me? For the first time, I really started to understand the vast differences between us.
At midnight, I put on my only raincoat and a pair of faded and ripped jeans, then ventured out into the cold, rainy night. I floated down onto the ground from my window and trudged through the wet grass and mud to the barn. My mood was foul, to say the least. I had no idea what I was going to say to Jackson. Should I even tell him about the file?
I had so many questions firing through my brain, I wanted to scream and beat my head against the wall.
Inside the barn, there was no sign of Jackson. I sighed and crawled up onto the crate he'd sat on the other night. I pulled my legs up and sat criss-crossed with my head propped up on my hands. When he finally did walk through the door, he was different.
He looked exactly the same, but the way I saw him was suddenly different. I'd heard that guy call Jackson a demon and Jackson had even admitted it, but until tonight, it wasn't this real. It was like having a suspicion you secretly hoped wasn't true, then finding proof that it was true all along. This gorgeous guy that I'd totally fallen for wasn't real. This wasn't what he really looked like at all, and tonight it hit me for the first time that we'd never be the same.
Jackson was smiling, blissfully unaware of the emotional meltdown happening less than ten feet away, inside my body. He shook the rain off his hair and laughed.
“Man, it's really coming down out there,” he said. “I was afraid you weren't going to make it.”
“I'm here,” I said. I was teetering on the edge of something very dangerous, and I struggled to keep myself in one piece. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
“Did you find anything in the files? Were you able to get in?” He walked up beside the crate and leaned in to kiss my cheek.
I pulled away. Crap, I hadn't meant to do that. It was a reflex, and it was too late to take it back. Worry creased Jackson's forehead.
“What's wrong?”
“I'm not sure what to say. I'm kind of freaking out.”
He ran a hand through his hair and paced a few steps. “Okay,” he said. “Do you want to talk about it? Can I help?”
Hysteria bubbled just under the surface. I could feel it pushing against my skin. I tried desperately to push it back under. To get a hold of myself and just deal with it. But finding out more about Jackson's past had me rattled. I felt like my heart was being torn in a hundred different directions.
“I don't know,” I said. “I think I really messed up.”
He stepped to me, put his hand on my knee. “Did you get caught? Did someone see you?”
“No.” I balled my hands into fists so hard my nails dug into my palms. “Nothing like that.”
“Harper, tell me what happened. Just spit it out. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it.”
Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks. Outside, the rain began to fall harder. “I found Mary Anne's file,” I said. “There wasn't anything special in there. Nothing about her family or where she's from. Other than it being strangely empty, there was nothing to notice.”
“That doesn't sound earth shattering,” he said.
I choked back a sob, took a deep breath and kept going. “So I looked for my own file. You know, as a comparison and just out of curiosity. Nothing new there, but then, when I started to close the drawer and leave, I saw another name that caught my eye.”
Jackson leaned in toward me, waiting to hear if I'd found some new important information about the crow. Tears finally escaped and made a run for it, streaking down my cheeks. I lifted my hands to my face and wiped them away, but the tears kept falling.
“Whose?” he asked.
“Yours,” I said.
Jackson's face went pale and he stepped away from me. “What do you mean? They have a file on me in that drawer?”
I nodded and sniffed.
His face twisted up and his lips grew tense. “Did you open it?”
I could hear the anger in his voice. I guessed it was probably a bad idea to piss off a guy the Order called Wrath, but the truth was too heavy to keep from him. I couldn't hold it inside. I had to tell him.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Jackson stood there for a minute, not moving. Then, he kicked his boot hard against an old lawn mower near the door. I jumped at his burst of anger.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “I know it was wrong to go snooping through your business like that, but it was right there in front of me and you've been so secretive s
ince the day I met you. At the hospital, I found out just enough to torture me, and you wouldn't give me anything else. What did you expect?”
“I told you about Aerden,” he said. “I opened up to you in ways I haven't ever opened up to anyone.”
“I know,” I said. “But all you told me was that he's your brother. You didn't say you were twins or that you spent all those years wondering where he'd gone and trying to find a way to rescue him. You didn't tell me you killed all those people. That's the stuff that matters.”
“You want to know what matters?” he asked in a raised voice, his hands gesturing wildly. “Trust, that's what matters. I thought I could trust you, Harper. I thought I could count on you to let me tell you in my own way, and in my own time. Not like this.”
The muscles in his arm tightened as his fists clenched tight.
“Look, I understand why you didn't want me to know all those terrible things you did. I understand why that has to be a painful part of your life, but you have to understand that I am a part of your life now, whether you like it or not. Our destinies, our lives, are intertwined forever. Six months ago, I had nothing and no one in this world that I cared about. Then I come here and I meet you, and suddenly I have something that matters.”
I hopped down from the crate and took a few steps toward him. He held his hand up to keep me away, and I froze to the spot, my feet glued down with fear. Fear that I had just messed up the best friendship I'd ever had.
“Jackson,” I said, wringing my hands together. “I needed to know. My time in Peachville has been one secret or tragedy after the other, but you're the one thing that's kept me anchored. I needed to know who you really were, can't you see that? The Order will always have their secrets. You told me that. But you and me? Why do there have to be secrets between us?”
“They were my secrets to keep or tell,” he said. “Not for you to steal away. I've had enough stolen from me in my life.”
“And I haven't?” I said. A raindrop fell onto my cheek and I swiped at it. “You think things have been super easy for me all these years?”
“Sixteen years is nothing compared to the hundred years I've been separated from my brother and the fifty years I've been trapped in this human body without my soul, without my powers. My whole family is still back in the shadow world with no idea where we are or if we're even still alive,” he said, his chest heaving with each breath. “That's my reality, and there's nothing I can do about it. So forgive me if I don't want to talk about it all the time.”
“One time,” I said, jaw tightening. Lightning cracked outside, sending a bright flash of light into the barn. “That's all it would have taken. Just once for you to tell me the truth about who you are and where you came from.”
“Even once is hard enough,” he said. “It's like having old wounds ripped open again.”
“I didn't mean to hurt you, Jackson,” I said. “I just wanted to know the truth.”
“And now you do,” he said. “You know all the horrible things I've done. All the people I hurt. And I'd do it all over again if it could give me any chance of getting my brother back.”
“Do you think I'm going to judge you for that?” I asked. I felt the storm inside of me shift and strengthen. Another raindrop fell onto my forehead and another on my arm. “Is that the kind of person you think I am? Don't you think if I was that kind of girl, I would have just left you there in that hospital to die? Do you think I still would have risked everything to keep you safe?”
As my voice grew louder, so did the storm. Drops began to fall from the ceiling, and I stepped aside, thinking I must be standing under a hole in the roof. But when I moved, the rain moved with me. Cool drops fell onto my face and the top of my head, dripping down to the ends of my hair.
“I'm so sick and tired of being pulled in a hundred different directions,” I said. “I just want to know that one thing in this town is true and real. If you're going to turn your back on me for reading that file, then maybe what we have isn't as real as I thought it was.”
“And what exactly do you think we have?” He glared at me, his jaw tight. I saw a raindrop slide down his cheek. “Do you think we have some kind of future together, Harper? You know as well as I do that as soon as the Order decides they want to take you through the initiation, everything changes for us. If my brother was your slave so that you could draw power from him and be a puppet for these witches, these slave merchants, I couldn't bear to even look at you anymore.”
“So, don't let that happen,” I said. My tears were flowing again, cold against my flustered face. The rain was falling so hard around us now, we might as well have been outside. “Help me stop it. I can't fight them all by myself.”
“You're already half-way theirs,” he shouted through the rain.
“For someone called Wrath, you're a coward,” I said, knowing I was going too far, but unable to stop the words from tumbling out of me. “What happened to you? When you came through that portal, you were brave and fierce. You were ready to fight for what you wanted. Aren't those things still worth fighting for?”
Thunder sounded outside the door so loud, I could feel the vibrations in my feet.
Jackson turned and gave me a cold stare. “If you don't know the answer to that question, then you don't know me at all.”
With that, he turned and left the barn. I sat down in the rain and let the sorrow consume me. In the back of my mind, I knew there was no hole in the ceiling large enough to let this much rain through, but I didn't understand, then, what it meant. Instead, I let the rain wash over me until I couldn't cry another tear.
Quite The Storm
I couldn't face school the next day. I told Ella Mae I wasn't feeling well and, thankfully, she let me stay home. I spent the morning in bed, a tissue close at hand.
Sometime after noon, I peeled myself off the bed and forced my body into the shower. I'd gone to bed with my hair still soaking wet from the rain and now it was all knotted up and wild. Everything seemed to be falling apart around me. The Order was tightening their hold on me and threatening to put me into seclusion. Brooke was doing everything she could to sabotage me. Caroline still hadn't woken up. And Jackson probably hated me now.
Not to mention the crow who wanted to steal my power.
I washed these thoughts down the drain and stepped out of the shower. What it all boiled down to was that I was alone. Well, I'd been alone in this world most of my life. I could handle it. I got dressed and braided my hair into one long braid down my back, then stuck my head into Caroline's room to see if there'd been any change.
Her mother was sitting there by her side.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “I didn't mean to disturb you. I can come back later.”
“No,” she said softly. “It's okay. I could use some company. Come in.”
I pulled a chair up on the other side of Caroline's bed. There was an IV attached to Caroline's arm today, but nothing else looked different. “Any improvement?”
“Nothing,” she said. I could hear the sorrow in her voice. “Her eyelids flutter from time to time like she's dreaming, but she never wakes up.”
“I'm so sorry,” I said. And I was. I was sorry for everything. For getting her into this mess in the first place. For not telling anyone the truth right up front when it might have made a difference.
“You saved her life,” she said. “I don't think I can ever repay you for that.”
I shook my head. “It was Jackson, really,” I said. “Without him, we'd both be dead.”
We sat in silence for a moment. Eloise brought her daughter's hand up to her cheek and held it there for a moment. I looked away, feeling like I was intruding on their time.
“I should go,” I said. “I just wanted to see how she was doing.”
I stood and turned to go.
“That was quite the storm last night, wasn't it?” Something about the way she said it stopped me in my tracks.
“Yes,” I said. “A real downpour.”
>
“Funny how rain wasn't in the forecast,” she said.
I turned to face her, my heart racing. I knew there was something strange about that storm. “Yeah, funny.”
“It's also strange how no one downtown got a single drop,” she said. “It seems the storm was completely confined to the area around Shadowford.”
I sat back down in the chair with a thump. “Very strange,” I said, picking at my nails.
“Harper, did you cause the storm last night?” Her tone was very direct and I looked up, surprised.
“I don't know,” I said. “Is that possible?”
“Were you upset? Crying? Angry?”
I nodded, nervous.
Eloise settled back in her chair, her mouth slightly open, as if she was surprised to hear it. “Controlling the weather with our emotions is something women in my family line have been dealing with for over a hundred years,” she said. “We have to be very careful not to let our emotions get too out of control or we could cause a serious storm like a tornado.”
“Or a thunderstorm?”
“Exactly,” she said. “When I first heard the storm growing last night, I thought it was Meredith causing it, but when I checked in on her, she was fine. No tears or anything. She was simply watching TV with Zara and Courtney downstairs. Around midnight, the storm got really bad. I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking maybe Caroline was making it happen from her coma.”
She said that last part with a sad smile.
“I should have known how ridiculous that was,” she said. When she looked at me, her eyes were glassy. “But it was you, wasn't it?”
“How is that possible? I could never do that before,” I said.
“The stone,” she said, swiping at her right eye with a tissue. “The soul stone you took from Caroline's chest. When you gripped it, some of her power must have been transferred to you.”
I opened my eyes wide and sucked in a ragged breath. “I didn't mean to,” I said.
“I know,” she said with a smile. “You were only trying to save her life.”