Through Thick & Thin

by Natasha D Frazier

  Also by Natasha D. Frazier

  Devotionals

  The Life Your Spirit Craves

  Not Without You

  Not Without You Prayer Journal

  The Life Your Spirit Craves for Mommies

  Fiction

  Love, Lies & Consequences

  Through Thick & Thin: Love, Lies & Consequences Book 2

  Shattered Vows: Love, Lies & Consequences Book 3

  Out of the Shadows: Love, Lies & Consequences Book 4

  Kairos: The Perfect Time for Love

  Non-Fiction

  How Long Are You Going to Wait?

  Copyright © 2015 by Natasha D. Frazier

  Published by Encouraging Works

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be used in any form without the written permission of the publisher.

  ASIN: B017MH8CHG

  This is a work of fiction. Although it is set in the real city of Houston, TX, names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Edited by: Cheryl Molin

  Cover design by BJ Benjamin O’Neal (I Imagine Beyond)

  For Order Information, please visit:

  www.natashafrazier.com

  Note from the Author

  I cannot publish this book without giving thanks to my Heavenly Father, who has been so loving and faithful to me. He has blessed me with the heart to encourage women and the ability to do that through writing. Thank you for entrusting me with such a task. He has also given me a wonderful family who supports my writing career. Eddie, my awesome husband, I love you and appreciate you for all that you do. Thank you for your unwavering support. Eden & Ethan, mommy loves both of you so much. Even though you are still very young, you support me in ways you have yet to understand. Mommy! Thank you for your unconditional love and support from afar. You make sure that everyone knows that your baby is an author. Thank you! Courtney, Amber, Dad, General Lee, Christine, Vicki & Keisha - thank you for your support.

  To my special set of girlfriends who push me to go further and have encouraged me from the very start: Tiera, Toccara & Shenitra - I love you ladies and appreciate your friendship. And to Stephanie - thank you for reading and re-reading.

  Readers - You each hold a special place in my heart. Everything I write is to inspire you. Thank you for continuing on this literary journey with me.

  Much love & many blessings,

  Natasha

  Through Thick

  &

  Thin

  (Love, Lies & Consequences Book 2)

  NATASHA D. FRAZIER

  CHAPTER 1

  The theme song to the popular Disney Junior cartoon, Doc McStuffins, had just ended. The first scene playing across the screen was a clip of Doc McStuffins, the toy doctor, having breakfast with her dad. Seeing little children with their fathers, TV or not, always made Raegan both cringe and gush. The scene made Raegan wonder what Carla’s relationship with her father would have been like if he were still around. Her daydream was interrupted by the pulling of her hair. It felt as if a few strands had been ripped from her scalp.

  “Mommy, where’s my daddy?” seven-year-old Carla asked Raegan., after seeing her favorite cartoon character spend time with her dad. Carla stood on the bed behind Raegan combing her hair. They were playing beauty shop, as Carla often liked to do, while watching TV. The numerous trips to the hair salon with her mom had her thinking that she could do everything Raegan’s stylist could do, but even better.

  “He’s gone to work,” Raegan played along as she often did during beauty shop time.

  “Noooo, Mommy! I’m not pretending. I want to know about my daddy. All of my friends have daddies. Why don’t I have one?”

  Raegan sighed, picked up the remote and hit the power button. She knew this conversation would come up one day, just not so soon. When Caleb walked out of her life, she dreaded the day she would have to explain to Carla that her daddy was gone. But now was as good a time as any to try to explain something that she didn’t really understand herself—Caleb was never coming back. Raegan turned to Carla and screamed, nearly knocking her daughter on the floor when she saw the face of Rico on her child.

  Her scream awakened her. It was just a bad dream that surfaced from her guilt of breaking her celibacy vow and sleeping with Rico. Not being able to forgive herself for that was punishment enough, there was no way she could lose Caleb in all of this.

  For the third night in a row, Raegan awakened to sweat and tear-stained sheets. The bad dreams were relentless. They all had the same meaning: Caleb wouldn’t stay with her if it turned out that Rico had fathered her baby. Raegan found herself constantly worrying what Caleb really thought about her potentially carrying Rico’s baby, and those thoughts even carried over into her dreams. She’d hardly gotten any sleep from tossing and turning. How will Caleb react if it turns out that Rico is the biological father of my baby? Raegan wondered.

  Before Raegan accepted Caleb’s proposal, she’d warned him that there was a chance Rico was the father and he didn’t seem bothered by it, but that didn’t stop Raegan from being concerned. Would he stay true to his promise that he would stick by her even if the baby wasn’t his? Would he change his mind and decide that he wanted nothing to do with her? That her drama was just too much? She felt chills at the thoughts as she gathered the sheets from the bed, along with her silk hair scarf that had come off from the constant tossing and turning, and trudged to the washer as she had done nearly every morning that week.

  If she kept up this worrying, she would become sick or kill their relationship. Thoughts had a way of becoming actions. She would no doubt start treating him as if he were going to leave her, making matters worse. She shook her head and wiped another tear that escaped from her eyes as she loaded the washer.

  Raegan prayed, “Lord, please help me deal with this in the best way possible.” She prepared to shower and dress to meet Caleb. She contemplated whether she would bring up the subject; they hadn’t discussed it since she accepted his proposal. She grabbed her purse and keys, set the alarm and shut the door on her way out. The sunlight entered the garage as the door slowly rose. Something about the light hitting her face instantly enhanced her mood, yet her thoughts still lingered around the what-ifs.

  She popped in one of her favorite CDs by J Moss, and sang along with him in hopes that it would ease some of the anxiety that had been plaguing her for the last few days. She’d said yes to Caleb’s proposal because she truly believed that he was the one she wanted to grow old with. Their love was strong enough, especially if he could truly get past the fact that her baby may not be his—or so she hoped.

  That was the quickest twenty minute ride ever, she thought. When she arrived at Caleb’s new house, she paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. She had to say something. She needed to ask the question. She needed him to say that he loved her no matter what. Again. Both the steering wheel and gear shift glistened from the perspiration of her hands. She rubbed her hands along her jeans before getting out of the car. He loves me; I don’t have anything to worry about. We can make it through anything, she encouraged herself.

  As she walked along the pathway adorned with perennials and solar lights, Caleb swung open the front door as if he’d been sitting around keeping time. He stood in the doorway waiting to greet her with a bright smile and open arms. He was barefoot, dressed in worn blue jeans and a crisp white T-shirt.

  “I love you, Beautiful,” his voiced reached her ears as she stepped into his embrace. She needed to hear him say that. Raegan’s heart leapt at the confession as if i
t was her first time hearing it.

  “Husband-to-be, how are you this morning?” she greeted him, planting a kiss on his lips and throwing her arms around his neck. She gave him a tight squeeze. His arms around her served as more confirmation of his love for her. Being wrapped in them gave her a sense of comfort and security.

  When Raegan pulled away, she grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen for their talk. She turned to face him, placing her hands on his chest and fired away. She couldn’t help it; her nightmares were getting the best of her, so she had to ask.

  “Honey, would you take back your proposal if it isn’t our baby?” Raegan asked, searching Caleb’s eyes for conflicting emotion. Since it had been a couple of weeks since he proposed and he hadn’t mentioned one word about the baby or the baby’s paternity, she needed to know if he still felt the same.

  Caleb’s eyebrows shot up and then came together in confusion. That was the last question he thought she would ask. He rubbed his hands over his face, slightly frustrated. What must I do to prove to this woman that she means everything to me?

  “What kind of question is that? Didn’t I tell you that I wanted you no matter what?” Caleb understood that not knowing who the baby’s father is bothered Raegan to no end. But for him, he was getting what he wanted— her. The baby’s paternity didn’t matter much to him. He would love the child the same either way. “What do you expect me to say?”

  “Don’t give me an answer just because you think that’s what I want to hear. I want to know what’s in there.” She pressed her hand into his chest, covering his heart. She glared at him like a child waiting for her punishment and again she asked, “Would you still want to marry me if it’s not a baby that we created together?”

  “My desire to marry you has never changed, and I think this baby needs loving parents. Will I love the child as my own? Sure. Was I prepared for this? No. Does it freak me out? A little. But it’s not enough to make me walk away from you,” he admitted. He’d chosen not to dwell on the details of the baby’s paternity; he knew that no matter the outcome, it wasn’t anything that could be changed and he was prepared to deal with that because he loved her. Pausing for a moment, he asked, “Does Rico know?” He gazed into her eyes, his hands placed on either side of her as she leaned against the kitchen island. Now that the topic was up for discussion, it was best to put all cards on the table.

  “No, I haven’t spoken with him in a while.” Raegan averted her eyes and shrugged, not really wanting to talk about Rico.

  “Are you planning to tell him that he may have a baby?” Caleb wondered how Rico would fit into all of this. His problem was more with Rico and how he treated her than her being pregnant.

  “No,” Raegan slowly replied., “I highly doubt that this baby belongs to him,” she said as she tried to convince them both.

  “When is the last time you slept with him?” Caleb questioned. He lifted her to sit on the granite-covered island so that they could be at eye level. This wasn’t exactly what he had planned for them today, but since she opened the can of worms, they may as well establish the truth.

  Raegan wished she was alone outside, reclined on the patio that she could clearly see through the glass French doors that led to the exit. But instead, she was subject to explaining truths that she didn’t want to relive at the moment. “It’s been a while. Maybe about two to three weeks before you and I got together. But—” she held up her hand, “before you say anything, I had a period before you and I made love.”

  “I see.” He paused, grinding his teeth and staring her in the eyes. She could see his jaw muscles flexing beneath his skin. He never took his eyes away from her, and that made her both nervous and excited at once.

  Taking a moment to inhale and relish in the fresh scent of his cologne, she smiled, noticing that he wore her favorite, Curve. It was an old brand but she loved the masculine, sensual scent. Caressing the side of his face, running her fingers along his neatly trimmed beard, she met his gaze and whispered, “Honey, I really would have liked for things to happen differently, but there is nothing that can be done about it now. You will have to take me as I am. And by no means am I going to put any pressure on you. I love you and although my answer hasn’t changed, I want you to be certain that this is what you want.” Her voice cracked a little, as she glanced down at her belly. It pained her to even think that Caleb would change his mind about marrying her. However, she felt like she needed to brace herself for the worst and give him a chance to be sure. She didn’t want her nightmares to come true.

  “Did I say I needed to think about it?” He spoke sternly but softly. They were still eye to eye and she could smell his fresh breath, with a hint of peppermint.

  “No, you didn’t. But I really think you should, babe. I know you weren’t expecting me to tell you about a baby when you proposed. Besides, we have plenty of time to make a decision regarding whether or not we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We can continue with the pre-marital counseling, but I want you to be absolutely sure that this is what you want,” said Raegan as she placed his hands on her stomach.

  “Okay,” he said, gently kissing her lips. “But as I think about it, I want you to think about it as well, all right? Remember that I love you, Cami, and I am ready to go all the way with you.”

  Raegan nodded and smiled, grabbing both of his ears, pulling his head closer so that she could plant a kiss on his forehead.

  She loved the way he called her by the shortened version of her middle name. He was the only person who called her that. She smiled inwardly, thinking that he was still taking the news of the baby exceptionally well. She just hoped that she was right and that Rico wasn’t the father. She would hate to have to deliver that terrible news.

  CHAPTER 2

  Fear crept into the back of Tammy’s mind as the realization of Joshua’s heart condition set in. Although the doctor told her it was completely manageable, she found herself worrying about him and praying fervently on his behalf. She reminded herself of Philippians 4:6-7: “Be anxious for nothing but in all things by prayer and supplication make your requests known to God.”

  She sifted through a plethora of websites on her smart phone while sitting in the hospital with him. Based on her research and her talk with the doctor, his cardiomyopathy was manageable and he would likely be okay, but it was still serious enough that it was in his best interest to take an early retirement from the NBA.

  A mere cough from him sent her mind racing back to his collapse during his last game a few weeks ago. There he was dribbling the ball to the left and right, leaving his opponents in his trail, only to go up for a jump shot and come crashing to the floor. The thought gave her the shivers.

  Tammy had been sitting in Joshua’s room waiting for him to wake up. She arrived around 8:30 a.m. dressed in a pair of pink and gray gym shoes with a matching gray track suit. She made it her business to talk with the doctor to get an update on Joshua’s condition, because she couldn’t handle any more surprises.

  Tammy signed in at the visitors’ desk, obtained a badge and proceeded directly to the nurses’ station. She greeted the nurses on duty before getting straight to business. Before she could finish the question, the doctor appeared at her side. He’d just started making his rounds that morning and Joshua had been his first patient Tammy caught a glimpse of him in her peripheral vision. She had become accustomed to seeing the five foot five inch man with a shiny bald head.

  “Mrs. Archer, he is doing just fine today. If everything checks out by this evening, he’ll be free to leave in the morning. Texas is where you’re headed, right?” the doctor asked as he scribbled something down on his notepad.

  “Yes, but not before we are absolutely sure that he’s fine. I know you said he would be, but I’d like to prevent any setbacks if possible. I’ve gone through the literature you gave me and I do believe I understand. I’m just nervous, I guess,” Tammy confessed and shrugged her shoulders a little. And that she was—she shifted from
one foot to the other as she spoke to the doctor.

  “Don’t be afraid to call if you have any questions,” he reassured her, walking her to Joshua’s room.

  “Thanks.” Tammy welcomed his compassion. She quietly stepped into his room, zipping up her jacket as the wave of air nearly knocked her down. Her sneakers squeaked as she inched toward the bed. She kneeled down to slip out of them so that she wouldn’t wake Joshua. She wanted him to have every moment of rest he could get.

  “Hey there,” Joshua spoke in a groggy voice as he turned over in bed about an hour later and noticed her sitting there.

  “Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?” she asked, sliding her chair closer to him. She quickly stood to plant a kiss on his cheek and then returned to her seat, clasping one of his hands in hers.

  “Ummm, better because of that.” A smile lit his face after she kissed him.

  “I hate to bring this up now, but you do know that I’m not going to let you go back on that court . . . ever.” Tammy widened her eyes to stress her point.

  “I know.” Joshua smiled weakly and repositioned himself to sit up in bed. “In fact, I know that the coach and the association won’t allow it either. I really wanted one last season but it’s been a good run, though, and now it’s time to start looking at other opportunities. I get that.”

  “After you get better. You have plenty of time to worry about that later. I don’t want you worrying about that right now.”

  “Can’t wait to get me to Texas, huh?”

  “The sooner the better, right? Remember the doctor agreed with me,” she said, raising and lowering her eyebrows rhythmically.

  “In sickness and in health, right?” he asked laughing. “I’m still your husband and whether or not you’d like to admit it, you’re obligated to take care of me.”

  Tammy thought that he was being rather full of himself, although she agreed with him. And obligated or not, there was no way she wouldn’t be a part of his recovery. She’d already felt guilty for not being around to know about his condition in the first place. “I don’t mind keeping an eye on you if that’s what it’s going to take to keep you alive and well.” She then proceeded to plant kisses on both cheeks, his chin, nose and then forehead.