After the director had counted down on his fingers from five to one, they were on live television. Beginning his statement, Joshua said, “I would like to thank everyone who supported my career and my team. This has been an experience that I will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life. It is because of your encouragement and faith in me that I am able to move forward, knowing that I have done my very best and have always played to the best of my ability. Although I have gone through a few medical challenges that are causing me to bring my time on the court to an end, I am thankful that God has given me another opportunity to continue to pursue my passion. It is my hope that each of you will do the same thing: Go after your dreams and pursue your purpose! Replace your fear with faith and make every moment count. Take nothing for granted and be intentional and strategic about everything. God bless each of you!” Joshua placed two fingers to his lips and then covered his heart.
Joshua let out a sigh of relief after his announcement, raised Tammy’s hand to his lips, and brushed it with a kiss. Several reporters now gathered in the room with his team and asked questions about his next move. Joshua explained that he had several opportunities but had not yet decided upon one. However, he made it clear that he was off the court but not out of the game.
CHAPTER 7
“It seems as though you’re intent on doing exactly what it is you want to do, regardless of what I think. Is that right, Cami?” Caleb dangled the Ziploc bag in the air. His voice was filled with disappointment and the grin he wore when he left moments ago was long gone.
Raegan could see the pained look in his eyes. She hated that what she needed to do for herself hurt him, but she felt like she had no other choice. Hearing him say her name like that made her decision even harder, but she couldn’t let that stop her.
“I thought you understood that I needed to do this . . . for me.”
“I, I, I! Seems that the only person you’re thinking about here is yourself! It’s not just you anymore Cami. Remember that we’re building a life together. Is it not enough that I’m going to be here with you through it all?” Caleb was amazed at her selfishness, especially after the moment they recently shared over the baby gifts he purchased. She had just promised that she would live in the moment, but it was clear to him that she took that literally—a moment—and now she was back to playing detective.
Raegan walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled in close to him. Caleb reluctantly returned the hug, but not as tightly as she would have liked.
The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, she thought, as she listened to the sound of his heartbeat. As the moments passed, the rhythm escalated and she knew he was upset. There would be no reasoning with him. This would just have to be something they disagreed about. “Having you around is enough, but that isn’t the point. Aren’t you the least bit curious about this baby’s paternity?” Raegan backed out of the embrace, held his waist, and stared up at him. His face was still, his emotions unreadable.
Caleb removed Raegan’s arms from his waist and handed the Ziploc bags to her. “Do whatever you think you need to do. If this doesn’t work, let me know if you need hair follicles,” was all he said. He kissed her forehead and turned to walk out of the door. Sure he was curious, but he didn’t think it was necessary to go through such lengths to find out. They were going to be a family and that was enough for him.
∞
Joshua had given Kensi the okay to print her story the same day of his televised press conference. She was glad to have Tammy as a connection. There had to be some truth to the notion that there are only six degrees of separation between any two people.
Satisfied that she was the one to write the story first, she pushed thoughts of work out of her mind to fulfill her duties as accountability partner to Raegan. She vowed to check on her regularly either via phone call or text, whenever Raegan was on her mind. She partially felt responsible for Raegan’s sexual slip-ups, because she didn’t hold her accountable as she knew she should have.
“Hey you!” Raegan smiled into the phone. “How are you girl?” Raegan asked in a tone that sounded as if she was a native New Yorker.
“I’m well. How are you and that bundle of joy you’re carrying?” Kensi asked.
“No issues over here, other than the obvious ‘who’s the daddy’ question,” Raegan said, trying to make light of the issue plaguing her thoughts to no end. She reached down to rub her stomach as if to reassure both herself and the baby that all would turn out well for the two of them.
“Raegan, don’t stress yourself out over that. Didn’t Caleb already say that he’s going to stick around whether the baby is biologically his or not?” Kensi reminded her, just as Caleb had continuously done. Kensi curled up on her sofa with her feet under her and muted her television to give Raegan a pep talk. She understood that Raegan was going through somewhat of a stressful time, mostly because things weren’t happening the way Raegan would have liked—marriage before baby—so Kensi did her best to encourage her friend.
It wasn’t as if Raegan didn’t welcome the encouragement, but she felt like Kensi couldn’t relate to what she was going through. Kensi wasn’t the one who went from being celibate to pregnant and not knowing who the baby’s father is. And she surely wasn’t the one having nightmares about her fiancé walking out on her.
“I am single, pregnant, in my thirties, and I don’t even know who the father of my child is.” Without giving Kensi a chance to respond, Raegan blurted out, “But that’s all going to change. I am getting a DNA test to find out so that I can have peace of mind throughout the rest of my pregnancy,” Raegan said with finality.
Almost as confused and frustrated as Caleb, Kensi attempted to convince Raegan that she was making a mistake. Kensi had not quite been in the same place as Raegan, but she had been in a terrible place. Lonely. Afraid. She miscarried a few years ago, and that was part of the reason she decided to become celibate. No one could help her. No one could bring her baby back. No one could understand. There was no way she could handle that type of pain again. The only person she was able to turn to was God.
Ever since then, that is exactly what she did—find her peace in God. Closing her eyes for a brief moment in an attempt to once again forget the pain, Kensi said, “Raegan, just be ready for what you may find out before you go to that clinic. Have you thought about what you’re going to do if the baby is Rico’s? Are you even going to tell him?” Raegan was known for leaving out important details.
Kensi sounded like Raegan’s conscience, however, Raegan knew what needed to be done. What did Caleb and Kensi expect her to do? Never find out the truth? Wait until her baby was born to find out? She knew that things needed to be handled sooner than later. The earlier she found out, the sooner she could make sure that she would have nothing more to do with Rico’s lies and deceit. She could put him, and all of the mistakes she made with him, out of her mind for good.
“I’ll work it out, Kensi.” Raegan ignored Kensi’s plea and got ready to end the conversation.
“Rae, please just hear me out. Am I not your accountability partner?” Kensi questioned.
Raegan let out a frustrated sigh in response. Kensi was right, but Raegan didn’t want to listen to her. She had already made up her mind about getting the test done; there was nothing Kensi or Caleb could say that would make her change her mind. She was certain that getting the DNA test was the best thing to do.
“Tell me . . . what does Caleb think about this? He is your fiancé, remember?” When Kensi was greeted with silence she said, “At least tell me that he knows about it and you’re not planning to keep this from him too.”
“Since I promised to be honest with you . . . I wasn’t going to tell him. I just figured I’d get confirmation about the baby’s paternity and put it behind me, but he caught me with his toothbrush and a soda can he drank out of.”
Kensi slapped her palm against her forehead, shaking her head from side to side. She had no idea what
had gotten into her friend over the last few months. She was running out of advice to give, especially since Raegan wasn’t taking any of it.
“Caleb loves you; don’t hurt him again.”
“I know that, Kens, but this isn’t about him,” Raegan tried to convince Kensi. For the life of her, she couldn’t understand why they couldn’t see that this was necessary. Regardless of who understood or not, the decision had already been made. She owed it to herself and her baby. The test was as good as done.
CHAPTER 8
Raegan was one step closer to finding out the truth. Caleb’s toothbrush and soda can were stored away in a plastic bag in her purse. She sat in the car in front of the clinic, heart racing and mind swirling with a plethora of thoughts. After the collection technician took a blood sample from her and compared it with the forensic items she brought to test Caleb’s DNA, her life could change forever, quite possibly in a way that she didn’t want it to. She wasn’t sure if she was prepared for that, but she convinced herself that this was the only way.
Her palms became even more clammy as she thought about what would soon happen. She rubbed her sweaty hands up and down either side of the steering wheel as if that was going to give her strength. She could feel her head growing warmer, making the hairs on the back of her head curl up. “Okay, girl, get it together,” she said to herself in the sun-visor mirror.
Inhaling and exhaling deeply one last time, she gathered strength, collected her things and got out of the car. She wrapped her trench coat around her body, threw her satchel over her shoulder and walked slowly toward the building. The clinic was located in what seemed to be a vacant strip center. There was not much signage and not a lot of cars in the parking lot, considering it was almost lunch time and she could see a popular chain restaurant on the opposite end of the strip.
As she approached the door, she noticed someone walking out wearing a pair of orange scrubs. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pair of orange scrubs before,” she mumbled, her mind briefly taken off her issues. The man must have noticed her hesitation and invited her inside.
“Do you have an appointment with us today?” he asked, smiling and extending his hand to her.
“Actually, yes,” she answered, accepting his handshake.
“Please come on in and someone will be right with you.”
The smell of disinfectant quickly grabbed her attention as she entered the glass door. It wasn’t a hospital or doctor’s office, but it definitely smelled like one. Raegan proceeded to the reception area to check in. To her relief, there was no one else in the waiting room. She was almost embarrassed to be there because she was a professional who seemed to have every area of her life together, except for this.
Maybe that was why she needed to do this. She had to get her life in order as much as possible; the least she thought she could do was get some clarity as to who her unborn child’s father is. Moments after she signed in, the collection technician greeted her from behind the closed doors to escort her to an unoccupied room. “Good morning, I’m Mason Banks,” he said, smiling. His smile was warm but did nothing to relax her. Raegan could feel the sweat that was on the back of her head quickly drying in the cold office space. The heat was now replaced with what she referred to as cold bumps.
She said a silent prayer as she followed the technician into the room that was only furnished with a table and two chairs. The table was clear except for the technician’s pad and two empty vials that were soon to be filled with her blood.
“Do you have any questions before we get started?” he asked, cleaning his hands with hand sanitizer and then covering them with rubber gloves.
“About how long will it take to get the results?” Raegan asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She had already been given that information when she made her appointment, but she hoped she would get a different answer, an answer that would be sooner than seven to nine business days.
“It usually takes about seven days.” The technician continued his prep work, pushing up Raegan’s sleeve and rubbing alcohol on her arm.
“Will you all call me, send me a letter, or will I have to come back here to get the results?”
“We can do it either way. Just fill out this form and let us know what works best for you,” he answered, handing her the forms that were on the table.
“Whichever one is quicker.”
“We can call you and e-mail you the results. Just make sure you check that box,” he said, pointing to the box as if she couldn’t read it herself.
“Thanks.” She checked the box indicating that she would like a phone call and e-mail detailing the results. After she filled out the form, Mason took the blood sample and explained again how the process would work. At this point, enough of the baby’s DNA would be in her blood to compare to the forensic samples she brought along with her. Once the results were in, she would be notified in the manner she selected. Easy.
Thankful that the process did not take more than thirty minutes, she felt a sigh of relief walking back to her car. As luck would have it, Caleb was now calling. She answered, but decided that she wouldn’t tell him she initiated the DNA testing process; she wanted things to stay calm between them. She knew he was probably still upset with her; they hadn’t spoken much since he found the toothbrush and can in the plastic bags.
∞
“Raegan, is that you?” Raegan’s body stiffened at the sound of the voice behind her in the sandwich shop. It sounded much like Rico’s. Because of the slight bulge in her midsection, she wanted him to see her and wonder if the baby belonged to him, but part of her also wanted to run and hide because she didn’t know the results of the DNA test yet.
Raegan turned slightly in the line to acknowledge his presence with a stare and a half smile. It took every fiber of her being not to slap him in the face.
“Wait, are you pregnant?” he asked. Confusion clouded his eyes. Raegan had a small frame. Although she was only about ten weeks along, her pregnancy was noticeable to someone who knew what she looked like pre-pregnancy. Still saying nothing, she paid for her sandwich and walked away toward the elevator bank, returning to her office.
Rico didn’t go after her. He stood in the sandwich shop where she left him, wondering about the baby—just as Raegan would have liked—thinking to himself, She can’t be pregnant. Raegan would have told me. Even after everything that happened between us, she wouldn’t keep something like this from me.
If she is pregnant and if the baby is mine, how would I even begin to explain this to my wife? She would never forgive me for this. Their relationship was already rocky because of his past infidelity.
Finally moving away from the spot where he’d been stuck, he turned and walked back to the dealership. He had only stepped away to grab coffee but he decided to walk through her building. He was hoping to get a glimpse of her because he hadn’t seen her in such a long time – after he told her the lie in order to break up with her. He had to find out if that was his baby. That was the one thing he’d been longing for that his wife was not willing to give him, because she was focused on her career. A baby would only slow her down and she wasn’t ready for the responsibility of being a mother just yet.
Back inside her office, Raegan sat at her desk, pushed aside binders and folders, and ate her meatball sandwich. Midway through her lunch, her office phone rang and she answered without checking to see who the caller was. Placing the phone to her ear, she heard the sound of Rico’s anxious voice, “Is that my baby?”
Taken aback by his question, she just held the phone. She was angry that he called her and a little frustrated with his question. In an accusatory tone, Raegan asked, “Does your wife know that you’re calling me about this?”
Rico stammered in his response. He had no idea that Raegan knew about his wife. “Wha-what do you mean, my wa-wife?”
“Please don’t call me with any foolishness. You need to be talking to your wife and not me. Secondly, if you don’t hear from me about this
baby being yours, don’t call me. Get it?” Click. She hung up the phone, not giving him a chance to respond.
“Not today. He is not getting to me today. All of that is over; at least for now it is.” Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she vowed to push thoughts of him out of her mind. Maybe she would be rid of him forever if she had listened to Caleb and Kensi and not had the DNA test done. But would I be pretending that Rico didn’t happen? Would that be lying to my baby?
She convinced herself that the DNA test was best for everyone involved. What if Rico is the father and there were issues in his medical history or that of his family? She’d need to know that. What if her child one day found out that Caleb wasn’t his biological father and felt deceived? She convinced herself of all the reasons she needed to know the baby’s paternity. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life not knowing, and she knew a part of Caleb would always wonder as well. She was certain that the DNA test was the answer to her problems.
CHAPTER 9
Joshua felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of him after he announced his retirement from the NBA. He had always planned to retire after about ten to fifteen years of playing, but he never thought that he would have to leave under medical restraints. Having Tammy’s support meant the world to him; he didn’t know what he would do without her. Although their circumstances weren’t perfect, he hoped that this could be the fresh start they needed to rebuild their marriage.
When the lights and camera were shut off, Tammy removed her lapel mic, which had only proved to be decoration, and turned to Joshua. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right? Basketball is such a huge part of your life and always has been.” She picked at imaginary lint on his jacket, straightened his collar and helped him remove his lapel mic.
Through Thick & Thin Page 4