Before Joshua had even brought up the subject, he’d done research and talked to his doctor. However, he knew Tammy needed to talk to the doctor as well to be comfortable with knowing that even if his condition was passed on to their children, it was manageable and they would likely be fine. They agreed to make an appointment to talk with the doctor so that she could toss the birth control pills to the trash.
“You know dear,” Joshua said, making their plates, “we never really discussed where we would live. I know coming to Texas was part of my recovery, but now that I’m better, we can move to Boston. Have you given it any thought?”
“My career and friends are here, and I don’t want to leave just yet. Besides, things are going so well for us here and you’re likely going to get that analyst position with NBC. Isn’t that what you want?” Tammy hoped.
“Honestly, I am open to living anywhere. I can fulfill this part of my dream in any part of the country. It’s time to focus on what it is you want to do with your career. Are you sure you’re happy here?”
“For now, yes.” Tammy stood, leaving her place setting and walking over to sit on his lap. “I love you Mr. Archer. You know that, right?” she commented, caressing his face.
“Mrs. Archer, I love you with every fiber of my being,” he echoed, giving her a toothy smile.
“Forgive me for keeping the pills a secret?”
“I may need some convincing.”
Tammy linked her fingers behind his head and pulled him closer for another one of their long, lingering, passionate kisses. Joshua had already received a referral for a doctor in Houston and agreed that all would be forgiven if they went to see him as soon as possible. It was time to get the baby-making show on the road.
CHAPTER 32
Raegan yanked the “For Sale” sign out of her yard when she arrived at her house. She wasn’t quite sure why she did that, but the simple act empowered her and made her feel a little better. She tossed it to the side in her garage and went inside. She was grateful that her home hadn’t sold, because she now had a place of refuge. She needed time to think about everything.
“How am I supposed to take the news that my husband has a son and I just found out that I’m pregnant? This was supposed to be our moment, and yet, here we are again with something, well someone, in the middle of it!” Raegan mulled over her situation as she walked through her home, inspecting it to make sure that all was well.
She needed to talk with someone, but she didn’t want to discuss her marital problems with anyone else. She couldn’t call her mom, because she knew her mom would tell her to go home to her husband and to keep her out of it. That wouldn’t be of any help to her.
She couldn’t call her best friend, Kensi, because Kensi would remind her that Caleb was still marrying her even when she was pregnant with Rico’s child. Kensi would tell her that she was wrong and that she had no right not to stand by him while he was going through this, when he stood by her when she went through her difficult time. But this was completely different in Raegan’s eyes and Kensi wouldn’t see it that way.
Raegan had to face it. No one would understand her decision to take a break. She knew it was unrealistic and that there were no breaks in marriage, but that was what she felt like she needed right now. She cried every time she thought of Caleb keeping the knowledge of Nicholas away from her. She even caught an attitude with random strangers, like the server at Sonic who didn’t remember she said no whipped cream on her caramel sundae. Maybe it was the hormones making her feel that way, but either way, she was wearing her feelings on her sleeves. She needed to sleep on it, so she decided to deal with it in the morning as she snuggled under the sheets in her old bed.
∞
“What are you doing here?” Raegan’s mom asked her. After tossing and turning most of the night, Raegan came up with the idea that she would take an impromptu trip to visit her parents’ home in Florida. She figured paying a visit to her family would help her take her mind off things long enough so that she could think rationally. She purchased an expensive, last minute plane ticket and headed for Houston Hobby Airport. The only person who knew about the trip was Kensi, although Raegan didn’t reveal why she was taking the trip or that she was taking it without her newly wedded husband. She’d learned that it was best to tell at least one person where you were going in case of an accident.
“I just thought I would surprise you.” Raegan lied through her teeth and her mom knew it.
It didn’t slip past her mom that Caleb was not standing at her daughter’s side in her doorway. She knew that Raegan could be extreme, and after sizing her up, she assumed that Raegan was likely running from something. For some strange reason, she always seemed to run away when it came to Caleb. Raegan couldn’t wait to skip town and move to Texas upon graduation from college in an attempt to get away from her issues with Caleb. She was always an excellent student and she’d had several co-ops and volunteer opportunities while in school, so she could have easily started her career in Florida. But Raegan needed something different, or at least that is what she told her mom. She didn’t fool her mom one bit then, and she wasn’t fooling her now.
Her mom blocked her entrance into the house, placing both hands on either side of the door frame.
“So you aren’t going to let me in? Aren’t you happy to see your only daughter?” Raegan said through a fake smile.
“That depends on why she’s here,” her mom retorted, standing with her head cocked to one side, curiously eyeing her daughter.
“What do you mean? I told you that I came to surprise you,” said Raegan, feigning her innocence.
“That’s what you told me, but you and I both know that isn’t the truth. What are you running from this time?” her mom questioned. She never really got into Raegan’s business when she left Damian at the altar. She didn’t push the issue and figured that Raegan would someday tell her the truth. Since she was Raegan’s mother, she knew her well and she was almost certain it had everything to do with the man who wasn’t standing there with her now.
“I’m not running from anything . . . Dad!” Raegan yelled over her mom’s shoulder.
“Oh, he’s not here, dear,” her mom said and smiled mischievously. “Where is your husband?”
Raegan rolled her eyes and stood with her arms folded. Her mom shot her a glare that instantly removed the sassiness from Raegan’s demeanor. Why did I even come here for solace? Raegan thought.
“Well, I don’t think he’s here either. Looks like it’s just you and me,” Raegan said, forcing a smile.
“Go home to your husband. I don’t care what the issue is; you need to go home and work it out. The last place you should be right now is on my doorstep.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Go home,” her mom said over her shoulder as she walked away from the door. Raegan lugged her small carryon suitcase behind her, leaving it at the door to follow her mom through the house.
“I just need some time to think,” Raegan whined.
“And you need to do that at home, not nearly one thousand miles away. You’ve only been married two months, if that, and you’re already running away! Young people!” her mom continued tossing the words over her shoulder as Raegan followed behind her.
“I’m pregnant!” Raegan said, stopping her mom in her tracks. Her first grandchild! “But Caleb has a son already,” Raegan blurted out before her mom could gush over the fact that she was about to become a grandma. Raegan took a seat at the dining room table, awaiting her mom’s reaction.
As much as her mother wanted to stay out of the situation, now that there would be a grandchild involved, she figured that she would at least listen to whatever Raegan’s issue seemed to be. She made them a pot of tea as Raegan shared what was bothering her. She recounted all of the details to her mom, including how she found out and how long it finally took Caleb to tell her, and then the moment he finally told her and the argument that followed. Raegan thought her mother would offer he
r some advice or at least take her side, but instead she just listened and sipped her tea.
When Raegan finished sharing her feelings about the situation, her mom repeated her earlier sentiments, “Baby, instead of sitting in my living room, you need to be sitting in your own living room discussing this with your husband. You made a vow for better or for worse, and it seems that in your mind this is closer to the ‘for worse’ end of the spectrum. But honey, I can assure you that there are far worse things than this.” She rubbed Raegan’s back as she took a sip of tea. “I can’t tell you how to work it out; all I can say is that you have to. You took a vow for forever, and that can be a very long time depending on how long the good Lord allows you to walk this green earth.”
Raegan sipped her own tea as she thought about her mother’s advice. She knew she was right but wouldn’t dare admit it right now.
They sat in silence while sipping the rest of their tea. When Raegan finished, she rubbed her stomach, and that seemed to light a spark in her mom’s eyes.
“So, just how far along are you?” her mother asked, grinning from ear to ear.
“I don’t know. I can’t be that far along. I just tested positive a few days ago.”
Her mom walked over and gave her a reassuring hug.
“Now take care of yourself and that baby,” her mom cautioned. She wanted to ask how Caleb was taking the news, but she was fairly certain he wasn’t aware of it.
The next morning, Raegan returned to Houston at the urging of her mother. She wasn’t ready yet, but knew that nothing would get resolved between her and Caleb if she stayed away.
When Raegan left her mom’s house, her mother called Caleb. “I’m sending your wife back home.”
CHAPTER 33
Caleb knew that he had messed up and that his wife was pretty upset with him, but he thought she’d just return to her old home a few miles away, not to her mom’s house in Florida!
After hanging up with her mom, he placed his cell phone on the coffee table and sat with his hands clasped together, chin resting on them. What was he going to do with her? She definitely couldn’t run away every single time they had a disagreement. Life didn’t work that way, and it was about time she understood that.
Several hours later, when he was certain her plane had arrived and he hadn’t heard anything from her, he figured that she went back to her old home. Caleb took a quick shower, dressed in jeans and a black featherweight sweater and dabbed on a little bit of Curve cologne—his wife’s favorite scent. He grabbed his keys and headed straight for his car to do what any man in his position would do–find his wife.
When he pulled up to her driveway, it was just as he had suspected; she was there. The curtains were pulled back and the lights were on. He took the keys out of the ignition and opened the car door in one motion. Lord, please help me with this woman You gave me, he prayed silently, as he strode to the door with purpose. Everything about his demeanor said that he meant business. He stood at the door, feet apart, one hand in his pocket and the other resting on the doorbell, which he pushed several times before she answered.
Raegan peered through the peephole to see who was ringing her doorbell, as if she didn’t already know. No one would be looking for her there except him. With all the thinking she’d done, she still hadn’t quite thought of a way to resolve her issues with him or even what she wanted to say. It was inevitable; there was no way she would be able to hide there forever, so she opened the door. May as well face the music now, she thought.
He must have been worried about her, because he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days, she concluded while standing in the doorway giving him a once-over. He was still as handsome as ever. As his new wife, what she really wanted to do was jump all over him and kiss him until her lips hurt, but she was mad. And to her, that was another way to prove her point, no bodily contact.
“Hello husband,” she said through clenched teeth, hardly moving her lips, as she opened the door and stepped to the side so that he could come inside. With one eyebrow raised and one hand positioned on her hip, she was ready for battle.
Everything about her stance said that she was prepared for combat and so was he; but when their eyes locked, he silently called a truce. Without saying a word or giving his wife enough time to protest, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately, just the way newlyweds should be kissing right about now. He was upset at her behavior and the way she was treating him, but that did not get in the way of him missing her and wanting her in his arms. For a moment, Raegan forgot her feelings about the secret he’d kept from her and everything that had transpired over the past few days and reciprocated the kiss.
Before long, they found themselves loving each other completely. No words had been spoken about their ensuing conflict, only reconnecting in mind, body and soul.
“I apologize for handling things the way I did. I love you, Cami,” Caleb said after he’d done his very best to prove that through their lovemaking. She now lay cuddled upon his chest listening to his heart beat as it slowly went back to its resting state.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. She never moved to look at him. She rubbed her hand across his chest as she thought about why she was upset with him in the first place. She didn’t want the situation to get any worse than it was, but she wanted him to know how deeply he’d hurt her.
“We cannot resolve our problems if you run away every time we get into a disagreement.” He pulled her closer to him. If he could have pulled her inside of himself, he would have. That is how much she was a part of him, and he wanted her to understand that.
Raegan remained silent. She agreed with him. She knew she couldn’t run away, but at the time, it felt like the most logical thing for her to do. She didn’t want to be in the same house with him. She felt betrayed. Again. She wasn’t the same twenty-year-old who left him before, but she had surely acted like it and for that, she was wrong. She had the tendency to be dramatic and that seemed to be the only thing that would help him see how he’d made her feel. He needed to remember what life would be like without her; at least that’s what she’d told herself.
“So how do you propose we handle this?” She sat up in bed and turned to face him, with her feet curled under her. She pulled the sheets up to her chest, wrapping them under her arms as she made herself comfortable.
“In a way that is best for everyone involved. Does it bother you that I have a son, or does it bother you that I waited to tell you?” he asked, seeking to see things the way she perceived them. He had been dreading her feelings about the issue. He wanted her to be happy about Nicholas’ being in their lives. He wanted her to want to get to know the little boy, just as he did.
Raegan thought carefully. He would likely not understand her point of view. She didn’t want him to have a child with another woman. She had nothing against the little boy, but if she were to be honest, it bothered her. She wasn’t sure to what extent it bothered her, but it just didn’t sit well with her. She wanted to be the one to carry his children, not anyone else. Although she was carrying one at the moment, it just wasn’t the same.
She wanted to say that she wished to be the only one to share that with him, but he could always remind her of the baby Rico fathered with her. He could also bring up the fact that he didn’t run when he found out she was pregnant and there was a possibility that he wasn’t the father—or even when he knew that he was not. He stayed and chose to be with her anyway. He would even raise the child as his own. So why did she have such a problem with this situation?
“I don’t know.” Caleb tilted his head to encourage her to continue. He needed more than the brief response that she’d given.
“What does that mean? Considering everything that we’ve gone through together, including me standing beside you with all of your Rico drama, I think I deserve a better answer than that.” He wanted to bring up the fact that he didn’t act the way she was acting when he found out about her baby, but he knew that was still a sore spot
with her and he didn’t want to reopen that wound. He believed that she was still hurt about losing the baby.
“I just . . . ,” she sighed. “I just thought after I lost the baby that the next time there was a baby between the two of us that it would be created by us. That’s all. I know that you can’t do anything about it now, but it still hurts my feelings a little that my husband has a child with someone else. One that he kept from me for God knows how long.” There, she said it. She was honest enough, she thought. She wasn’t sure if now was the right time to bring up the fact that she was pregnant, because she figured he would somehow use that in his argument.
“Babe, I don’t know how to explain it, but Nicholas has nothing to do with that. We can create as many babies as you want together. But I do want to be in his life. No son should have to grow up without his father.”
“I can agree with that.” Oddly enough, she agreed with him even though she asked Rico to sign over his parental rights. But this is different, she thought. Caleb was willing to treat the child as his own so the baby wouldn’t have grown up without a father. She could only take this one day at a time, because she honestly didn’t know what else to do. What she did know was that she didn’t want to lose her husband over her issues with him having a child from a prior relationship. Raegan repositioned herself to sit on his lap and sealed their agreement with a kiss. She then caressed his cheeks and kissed both of his eyelids. His eyes were so intense and focused as he presented his point that she couldn’t help herself. Her heart was bursting with joy at his desire to be the man he needed to be in her life and in his son’s.
CHAPTER 34
For what seemed like the hundredth time since tossing her birth control pills, Tammy was taking another pregnancy test as Joshua stood outside of the bathroom door with a timer, waiting for the result.
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