There were times when Zane wished Cal had lived. For selfish reasons, which often made him feel truly ashamed, Zane sometime confessed to himself that his own life would have been easier if Cal had lived. If Cal had taken on those burdens.
Every time he flirted with those thoughts, Zane couldn’t help feeling a burning sense of dishonor, as if he was disrespecting Cal and his whole family.
But, maybe that was how it had always been intended, Zane told himself. Maybe God was calling Zane to be the man he knew he ought to be. However, Zane had fought against that calling too much for his own liking. It had been like a wound he had to tend to all the years since Cal had passed.
Was this sudden change in his life, the need to marry, the healing that would fix that wound? Would he finally be compelled to conquer his selfish desires for a whole other kind of life, free of responsibility? Was that drifting life even possible, anymore?
Now that he’d met Johanna, he was beginning to doubt it. But only just. It was like a flickering flame inside him, illuminating another life, showing him another way. However, that didn’t stop the hankering, the wanderlust, from tugging at Zane’s spirit.
Maybe there were other influences trying to pull him away from where God had placed him. If that was the case, then there was more at stake than just the ranch. Maybe it was Zane’s salvation which was on the line.
****
After Zane had left, Johanna and Sophie spent a little more time in the town. Sophie seemed determined to give Johanna a chance to get to know the town better. And the truth was, Johanna didn’t much feel like going back to the house.
Johanna wanted to be out in the bright afternoon sun, taking in the sight of the town and getting to know some of its neighborly, fine-looking folk. She and Sophie strolled up and down the boardwalk. This time, as they walked, Sophie hooked her arm in Johanna’s. To onlookers they must have seemed like sisters, Johanna reflected.
It felt good to have a friend like Sophie. Because that was how Johanna was beginning to feel for the bright-spirited woman who’d welcomed her so warmly to Inspiration.
Not having a sister of her own, in fact growing up an only child, Johanna savored Sophie’s good-natured generosity. Although she knew that Sophie had her own plans for the future of her newly established endeavor Johanna had to admire the honest goodness of the woman who seemed to take Johanna’s interests so seriously.
When Sophie probed Johanna for details of what she and Zane had discussed, Johanna had merely shared some of what she and Zane had spoken about. Sophie appeared satisfied that at least one more step had been taken. But, on the road to what? Johanna knew the answer to that. She knew where all of this was leading with each inexorable step.
After the lunch with Zane, Johanna knew she had plenty to think about. He’d been real friendly, warmer toward her than he’d been yesterday. And that had been a welcome relief. Johanna wasn’t sure she could have stood another afternoon like the one yesterday. Being left alone for a while with Zane had turned out to be a small and very welcome blessing. She felt as if she’d gotten to know another side to him.
Zane could be warm-hearted whenever he liked. He could also be charming and surprisingly witty. Was that the real Zane? Was the real Zane Buchanan so very different from the man she’d met at the ranch? Maybe ranch life forced him to be another kind of person. She was sure that his responsibilities on the ranch must take their toll on him. He seemed to lead a clean life, judging by his reaction the the man who’d staggered out of the saloon. Johanna couldn’t imagine Zane spending any time in a place like that. And, hadn’t he said he’d see her in church tomorrow? That showed he valued the same kinds of things which Johanna did. The things Johanna’s mother had passed onto her daughter. Like faith and hope.
Maybe she’d misjudged Zane, Johanna told herself.
However one little moment during their lunch still niggled at her mind.
She had noticed that, when he’d mentioned that there were five Buchanan brothers, he’d seemed ill at ease, suddenly nervous, as if there was something he didn’t want to talk about. Johanna wondered what it was. Maybe there was an errant brother, someone who’d done something unforgivable. Johanna thought about asking Sophie. She was sure Sophie would know about the Buchanan family history. And, didn’t Johanna have a right to know what she was getting into? Every family had its secrets. The Buchanans were no different, Johanna told herself.
In the end though, Johanna decided not to ask Sophie. Maybe there’d be a chance later.
The afternoon passed and then Johanna and Sophie made their way back to the house. Johanna didn’t feel tired. Quite the opposite, in fact. She felt a great optimism sweep through her at the memory of her time with Zane. The prospects for her new life in Inspiration were definitely looking up, she told herself as she entered the house and started up the stairs toward her room.
Closing the door to her bedroom, she sat on the chair at the window and leaned her arm on the round table. She gazed out at the narrow street, and at the tall tree which cast shade across the small, well-tended garden.
Johanna thought about tomorrow. It wasn’t just the prospect of seeing Zane at church that brightened her spirits.
It was also the fact that she realized that this was first time in an age when she actually looked forward to the coming day with anything like hope.
CHAPTER TEN
The church was located on the western edge of town. Johanna walked to church accompanied by Sophie and Nathan. It was a bright, sunny morning. The spring air was fresh and cool. Johanna had dressed in a modest, charcoal-colored gown and matching bonnet. It was the only other outfit she had which she felt could be suitable for a visit to church. Her mother had always taught Johanna that modesty was a virtue.
Sunday morning breakfast had been a simple affair. It had been a pleasure to share the breakfast with Sophie and Nathan. Apparently, during the week, Nathan’s job often called him away before breakfast. Sophie explained that Sunday’s were special, and that they made an extra effort to make sure that they could share time together before going to church.
As they approached the church, which was smaller than she’d expected, Johanna was pleased to see a similar taste for modesty amongst the other residents of the town. Most of the men wore dark suits and the women wore gowns of muted colors. Everyone held a bible.
In front of the church Johanna saw a dozen buggies and two buckboards. People were already starting to make their way into the church as Johanna, Sophie and Nathan made their way toward the front door.
Suddenly, Johanna heard the roaring sound of wheels. She turned and saw two buckboards making their way up the street. She recognized the Buchanan clan. On one of the buckboards sat Caleb and Eugenie along with Reese. Zane held the reins of the other buckboard. Sitting next to him, Johanna saw Gideon and Micah.
Johanna wondered if any of the other ranch hands ever came to church. As if in answer to that, she heard the pounding of horse’s hooves as a half dozen men on horseback entered the street, following behind the buckboards. Zane hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d told her that everyone at the ranch took churchgoing seriously, she reflected.
The buckboard and the horses drew to a halt in a cloud of dust. Everyone dismounted and started toward the church entrance. The ranch hands were breathless, but they looked genuinely eager to get into the church. Obviously Caleb Buchanan kept a tight hand on his employees, Johanna reflected. That included making sure as many of them as possible were God-fearing men. As far as Johanna was concerned that was another strike in favor of the Buchanan ranch.
Zane was dressed in a plain dark suit and waistcoat. He held his hat in his hand as he approached Johanna. “Morning,” he said and smiled at her.
Johanna felt an instant delight flicker through her. “Morning, Zane,” she replied. “I see you brought the whole ranch with you,” she teased.
Zane shrugged. “They never miss a Sunday,” he said. “Except maybe if there’s six feet of snow. In that case we u
sually hold a prayer meeting up at the ranch.”
Johanna nodded approvingly and saw Caleb and Eugenie approaching her. “Miss Henderson,” Eugenie said. “Beautiful morning for the Lord, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is Mrs Buchanan,” Johanna replied.
Caleb bowed his head. “May I say you look mighty elegant today, Miss Henderson,” Caleb said. He glanced at Zane. “Isn’t that right, Zane?” Caleb added.
Johanna was sure she saw Zane’s face flush slightly at the sudden attention his father was giving him. Especially since it involved her.
“She does indeed, Pa,” Zane replied.
Johanna glanced at Sophie who looked as pleased as ever.
“Shall we go in?” Eugenie suggested. “I think the Pastor is waiting.”
Johanna saw the Pastor standing at the door to the church.
“By the way, Miss Henderson,” Eugenie said. “We usually have a family lunch after church. Up at the ranch. We’d be delighted if you’d join us today.” Eugenie looked at Zane. “I think there’s room on the buckboard for one extra.”
Zane’s eyes widened. Johanna felt a genuine shock at being invited. She glanced at Sophie who simply nodded.
“I’d be honored,” Johanna said. She knew it would have been impossible to refuse such an invitation.
They all made their way into the church. The pews were full all the way to the back. Eugenie insisted that Johanna sit with her at the front. Johanna spent the entire service sitting between Eugenie and Caleb. Zane sat at his father’s side. Throughout the service, Zane seemed determined to keep his attention focused on the Pastor. It was almost as if, with Johanna wedged between his parents, Zane couldn’t bring himself to look at Johanna.
Had he been as surprised as her by the invitation? Surely he must have had some idea that his mother would invite Johanna back to the ranch. Or maybe, Zane’s mother liked to keep Zane in the dark.
Whatever it was, all through the service, Johanna’s mind occasionally drifted to what would happen once she was up at the ranch. Once again, she’d be the focus of attention. Were they all so determined to bring her and Zane together? After her lunch with Zane yesterday, Johanna felt like she needed some time to gather her thoughts. To get a sense of how she felt about all of this.
But, there seemed to be an urgency about finding a wife for Zane. She felt that even more now, as she sat between his parents, listening to the Pastor’s sermon. Johanna felt a tingle race up her spine when the Pastor mentioned the Commandment to honor your father and mother. She glanced toward Zane and saw his eyes flicker imperceptibly in her direction.
Had he also taken note of that? And, was that simply what Zane was trying to do in going along with Sophie’s arrangements? Was Zane Buchanan less interested in Johanna, and more concerned with doing his duty toward his parents and siblings?
The service over, everyone left the church. Many of the townsfolk came up to Johanna and said welcoming words to her. She felt a real sense of magnanimity in the attitude of the inhabitants of Inspiration. It was impossible not to be touched by the generosity on display on this beautiful Sunday morning.
Zane came up to Johanna. He was shifting his hat from one hand to the other. She wondered why he was so nervous.
“Ready?” he asked.
She glanced at the buckboard. She’d figured it might be her and Zane alone on the buckboard, but she saw that Reese had already taken his place on the seat. He was handling the reins with obvious impatience.
“Sure,” she replied.
Johanna said goodbye to Sophie and Nathan. Then she walked alongside Zane to the buckboard. He offered her his hand to help her up onto the seat. She placed her gloved hand in his and felt him assist her up onto the front of the buckboard.
Then he took his place next to her. Reese smiled at Johanna and she acknowledged him with a smile of her own. Reese looked mighty pleased that he had Johanna sitting next to him. Then he flicked the reins and the buckboard’s wheels spun and they were heading down the street, leaving behind plumes of dust.
They turned the corner so sharply that Johanna clutched the seat of the buckboard and stiffened her body to compensate for the lurching movement.
“Whoa, Reese,” Zane exclaimed. “What’s the hurry? Remember we have a guest here,” he said looking at Johanna. “We want to arrive in one piece.”
Reese glanced at Zane. “Okay,” he said and pulled on the reins. “Sorry, Johanna,” Reese said quietly.
The horse slowed slightly as it headed up the Main Street and eventually out onto the northbound trail. She knew it wouldn’t take long to reach the ranch. Johanna glanced behind her and saw the other buckboard and the mounted ranch hands following close behind.
For a moment, she got a sense of what it would be like to be a part of this family. To be included in their daily life. She smiled to herself, admitting that it felt kind of good to be involved like this. It had been a long time since she’d felt so welcome. The Buchanans had an easy way about them. There was definitely something appealing about them, something special. Maybe the hardships of ranch life had forged unbreakable bonds between them all. If that was the case, then how could she, an outsider, ever hope to fit in? Johanna felt nerves tighten in her middle. She sighed.
Zane’s gaze settled on her. “You okay?” he muttered.
Johanna narrowed her eyes at him. “Sure.”
“What did you think of the sermon?” Zane asked.
She nodded. “Interesting,” she replied cautiously aware that Reese was listening with one ear cocked. “And you?”
Zane drew in a deep breath and sat up straight. “Seemed like it was talking to me personally,” he admitted.
“Really?”
Zane nodded. “That doesn’t happen too often. Not like today.”
“Scripture has a way of getting its message across,” she said.
“It sure does,” he agreed. Zane peered across at Reese. “You make sure you keep your eyes on the trail, Reese,” Zane said. “We don’t want anything untoward happening.” He glanced at Johanna. “Not with our special guest here,” he added.
Reese leaned forward and focused his gaze on the trail. “Sure, Zane,” he said.
Zane smiled at her and she found it impossible not to smile right back at him. He knew how to keep his younger brother in line, she told herself. There was a natural authority about Zane when he was like this. She’d seen it yesterday too, when he’d reacted to Calhoun gazing at them both through the restaurant window.
For a while, they didn’t say anything. Then they entered through the tall wooden gate, over which hung the sign that announced the “Circle Cross” ranch. Now they were on Buchanan territory, she told herself. Immediately, Zane seemed to perk up.
“Maybe after lunch I can give you a proper tour of the spread,” he suggested.”What do you think?”
Johanna hesitated before answering. Would that be proper? What if his parents objected to Zane being alone with Johanna? And so soon after meeting. It was turning out to be the most momentous weekend she’d ever known.
“I’ll see how I feel,” she told him.
She saw the disappointment on his face, the way his mouth turned downward, the way his brows furrowed. Had he just expected her to say yes? She was under no obligation to agree to every one of his suggestions. Surely he understood that.
“Okay,” he said sharply and then twisted his body, facing forward.
They rode a bit longer and then they crested the hill. Down there she saw the big house, and all the outbuildings.
They’d arrived.
All she had to do was get through the afternoon, making sure she made a good impression.
And then what?
She didn’t know the answer to that question. All she knew for sure that she was being drawn in closer and closer into the life of the Buchanan family.
The Rancher’s Bride Arrangement (Brides 0f Inspiration Book 1) Page 9