‘You don’t want to risk it getting out?’
‘Yeah.’
‘No problem.’ He straightens and gives me an assured grin. ‘Get yourself down there; you won’t be disturbed unless it’s her.’
‘Thanks, mate, I owe you.’
‘And for what it’s worth, Ash...’ he says.
I’ve started to head off but I look back at him, knowing I should probably keep on going.
‘I’m happy for you. She’s a great girl.’
‘And she could do a lot better than me.’
He shakes his head, but I’m gone, heading towards the private access that leads to the basement car park. The same way I took her out of the club the other night. Can that really be only a week ago? So much has changed since then...and yet nothing.
I’m still the man hired to dish the dirt on her—on the face of it, at least. But now my focus has changed, my goal is reversed, and navigating that while trying to protect her is messing with my head. Not my heart. Because I can’t be in love with her—not yet. Falling, yes. Getting in deep, yes. But in love...?
I slam open the door and sprint down the stairs, wishing I could keep on running, sprint until my lungs burn, until that’s all I can think of. Not this crazy confusion and the fear that it’s sparked.
No one falls in love this quickly—no one.
* * *
Blacks is bustling when I get there and sweep inside, my feet eager to take me to him. Eager to get me out of the public domain, away from the fear of exposure, of saying or doing the wrong thing when my emotions are riding so high.
I enter the main bar area—the place where I first saw him—my eyes desperately scanning, but he’s not there. Disappointment fires anew and I take out my phone to send him a text.
‘Coco?’
I look up to see Jackson heading towards me, smiling.
‘Hey.’ I try to smile back but I know it’s shaky, and my voice is trembling in its simple greeting.
‘Ash is waiting for you downstairs.’
My heart skips. He’s here. Thank God, he’s here.
‘This way.’
He gestures for me to follow him. ‘Thank you.’
He walks me to the door that leads down to his private parking garage and opens it for me. ‘Give him my regards.’
‘Will do.’ My smile is real now, my voice solid.
Not even my heels can stop me racing down the stairs, and as I burst out into the car park he’s there, leaning against the bonnet of his car. He straightens as soon as he sees me, his reassuring form like a welcome beacon, and I run to him.
I don’t care about putting up a front, about manners or dignity, only that he’s here, and I can let go.
His brow furrows, his eyes question, but he holds his arms out to me and then I am in them, and I’m kissing him with all the passion and the emotion that’s overflowing inside me. And I pray he doesn’t stop me—not until I’m ready.
But he isn’t stopping. His hands fork in my hair and his mouth is as hungry as my own. He spins me so I’m pushed up against the car, his hands raking feverishly beneath my coat as I grapple with his clothing.
This is what I need. This all-consuming passion that blots all else out. I have no idea how private this garage is. But I’m guessing only Jackson has access, and he’s upstairs, and I don’t want to stop to ask.
‘I’ve missed you,’ I say against his lips.
‘I’ve missed you too.’
The confirmation, the resonance of his tone with mine—it’s everything and more.
‘Nothing hurts when I’m with you.’
He stills, his hands midway to cupping my breasts. ‘What’s happened?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it—not now. Make me forget, Ash.’
He presses his forehead into mine, his blazing blue eyes burning through me. I drop my hand to the bulge in his jeans and squeeze. Air hisses between his teeth.
‘That’s a dirty move—’
‘Too many words.’ I cut off his retort with my tongue, dipping inside his mouth, grazing his teeth.
His growl is feral as he pulls my thigh up, exposing the lace tops of my hold-ups and his fingers graze over the detail, his eyes too. ‘You have no idea how much I want you right now.’
‘Then take me.’
His eyes lock with mine. ‘Here?’
I nod—swift, fierce. ‘Please.’
His lip quirks. I can see he wants to, feel he wants to.
‘Do you have protection?’ he asks.
Fuck.
‘No.’
He clamps his eyes shut and I can feel him forcing his body to stand down.
‘But I’m clean.’
He opens his eyes at my assurance, stares into me like he can’t believe what I’m saying.
‘I’m on the pill...and we have to be tested, don’t we, to be members here?’ I look up to the ceiling, to the club above. ‘You?’
‘Coco...’ He shakes his head like he’s battling some momentous decision.
‘I trust you.’
His eyes burn into mine and take my breath away. There is so much there. And I’m not just talking heat, desire. I’m talking pain. For what, I don’t know. I just know that sex will make it stop, for him and for me, at least in the now.
I cup his jaw in both hands, stroke my thumbs over his stubble. ‘I need you.’ I hook my leg around his waist, pull his hardness up against me and stroke my body over him. ‘Now.’
He drags in a breath, ragged and raw. His eyes fall to where our bodies meet, where I continue to ride his clothed hardness, and his hands take hold of my hips, gripping me tight.
‘What are you doing to me?’
‘This.’ My hands fall to his jeans, popping open the button. ‘If you’ll have me.’
His head is shaking. ‘I’ll always have you.’
My breath catches... My eyes sting. But now isn’t the time for tears. ‘Good.’
I slide down his zipper, my teeth scraping over my bottom lip as I reach inside his briefs and pull him out. He’s hot, thick and throbbing.
Oh, yes.
He ducks his head, takes my mouth with his, and I pump my hand over him, loving how his entire body trembles, his breath shudders, his lips lose traction with mine.
He thrusts his hands up my thighs, my dress bunched within his grasp, and I tilt my pelvis higher as I lower his cock to me, slipping aside my thong as I go.
I’m so wet his head slides in with ease, slipping past my clit, parting my lips, and inside... I throw my head back as I accept him in one blissfully sharp thrust. He’s so perfect, so hot and hard as he fills me, and I clench around him tight.
‘Coco...’ He groans, his body stilling, his length buried within me.
I open my eyes, stare up at him. He’s trying to fight, to keep control.
‘Let go with me, Ash.’
I move over him, one hand pulling his head down, bringing his mouth to mine, the other pressing down between us, my fingers forking either side of his cock, buried deep within me, enjoying the feel of him there, coated in my wetness, before I pull back to circle over my clit.
I whimper into his mouth, my body shuddering around him as I let ripples of ecstasy work their way from my core to the tips of my toes. He lifts me against him, draws my other leg up and around him as he presses my body back against the car and finds his rhythm, swift and fierce, driving me crazy.
I raise my free hand to his face, run my thumb over his lips, and he dips his mouth over it, tongues it, sucks it back as his eyes lock with mine. All heat and fire. No pain. Not now.
He nips at my palm with his teeth and then flicks his head back, his neck cording with tension. His climax is coming and I’m wrapped up in his pleasure, my fingers picking up their pace over my clit.
‘Fuck, Coco... Coco...’ His eyes lock back onto mine, his thrusts turn jagged, and I grip him tighter between my thighs.
‘Yes, Ash.’
Pleasure explodes through me, through him. His release is hot and pulsing, so raw and intense within me. His groan echoes off the brick walls and I cling to him, my head dropping into the crook of his neck, my body unwilling to let him go, my mind unwilling to let the outside world back in.
I listen to his heart pounding, to the rasp of his breath as it starts to steady and slow. He lowers me to my feet and I can feel him slip out. No.
I look up at him, regret clear in my face as I say, ‘Now I wish we were in bed.’
He gives a soft laugh as I scoop tissues from my jacket pocket and help him out with the mess.
‘Lucky no one walked in on us,’ I say, making conversation while I scan the car park for a bin.
‘Jackson said he’d keep it secure.’
He takes the tissues from me and walks off to the corner of the garage, clearly knowing his way around. I watch him go, admiring his firm behind in his jeans, the sheer masculinity in the breadth of his shoulders, the severe cut of his hair. A fresh ripple of desire runs through me, centring around my heart.
He gets rid of the tissues and turns back to me, his stride faltering as he cocks a brow at me. ‘What?’
I smile. I can tell he’s read it all on my face. ‘Nothing.’
His smile is tentative, questioning, as he closes the distance, pulling me against him once I’m within reach.
‘Nothing?’ he says, looking down into my eyes.
‘I was just so sad earlier...’ I stroke his cheekbones, his hair, raking my eyes over his face and seeing all that I’m falling for looking back at me.
‘And now?’
‘It’s still there, but it’s easier when you’re with me.’ He squeezes me against him tighter. ‘Does that sound weird?’ I ask.
‘No, it makes perfect sense.’
Does that mean he feels it too? Is that why he understands? I wish it could be that. I really do.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?’
‘Yes...but let’s get out of here first. I could do with a glass of wine in good company.’ I smile at him. When I contrast him to my company not one hour ago, I’m doing him a disservice. ‘Make that great company.’
I sweep my lips over his, a gentle kiss before moving away, but he pulls me back.
‘Coco?’
‘Hmm?’
His eyes are so sincere they tug at me, pulling on strings I’ve never felt before.
‘Just...’
I stare up at him, lost in his open expression, and then he shakes his head and grins.
‘Nothing. It can wait.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
MY BRAIN IS whirling on the drive back to my place. The vehicle is keeping my hands busy but my mind is so occupied by her.
She seems more settled than she was before. So settled that I think she’s likely to fall asleep before we make it back. She’s half curled up in the seat, her head turned to the side, her eyes flickering between me, her hands and the outside world.
But, Christ, when I first saw her, saw the trace of tears in her over-bright eyes, her smile so genuine, so relieved, I was unable to speak. I could only open my arms to her and hold her, kiss her back as she kissed me.
And then those three simple statements: I’ve missed you... I trust you... I need you.
I tighten my grip on the wheel as the words repeat through my brain, burning deep, as I remember my hunger, so possessive as I staked my claim.
I haven’t... I’ve never... Not since Jess—not since that relationship—have I trusted anyone enough to go without protection. It’s huge. Monumental. But it felt so right, so natural, and now inside me my confession is bursting to get out.
I almost told her, there in the basement car park. And what a disaster that would’ve been, hot off the back of what we’d shared. She might have legged it back up top, out onto the street, where Bower would have been lying in wait, ready to get whatever detail he could to report back to that bastard Philip Lauren.
No, the timing hadn’t been right. But, damn it, I want this all out in the open. I want to be there for her fully—no lies, no omissions.
I look across at her, see her eyelids heavy as she struggles to stay awake, and I stroke back the hair falling over her face. She gives me a small smile, which I return, and then her eyes are closed and I drop my hand back to the gear stick.
‘Nearly there,’ I say softly.
She gives a nonsensical response and cosies up deeper into her coat. She truly is at ease with me. And I would be the same if not for what I’ve kept from her.
I look back to the windscreen and focus on the drive, on something I do have control over in that second.
Just have faith. It will all come right in the end...
Yeah, because life’s kind like that...
But if I can just get her away from here, confront Philip Lauren when she’s safe from any immediate backlash on his part, deliver the threat of what I can do with the information I’ve gleaned and get him to call off Bower.
Because she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve any of it.
And you don’t deserve her...
I clench my jaw tight. That’s something she will have to decide for herself, once she has all the facts and I’ve come clean.
Because I will...just as soon as she’s safe.
* * *
I wake to the invigorating smell of coffee, the sound of cooking in the kitchen, and I roll over.
Ash’s lingering scent cocoons me, and his quilt is warm and soft against my bare skin. To wake up like this every morning, not to feel alone any more...
I clutch the bedding to myself and smile into the sheets. Perhaps things aren’t as complicated as he initially thought; perhaps he will change his mind about me, about us.
It felt that way when he stopped me from getting in the car last night. When he pulled me back against him and then changed his mind and said we’d talk later...
Only I’d fallen asleep.
I remember him cutting the engine, stirring enough to respond to his voice, and then he carried me here. I wanted to wake up—wanted to tell him what had happened, have him tell me it would be okay, tell me what it was that he’d stopped himself saying in the underground garage. But it was too easy to curl up under his quilt, just like I’m doing now, and let him surround me, comfort me.
And when I woke in the quiet of the night, hot and uncomfortable, still clothed in my bra and thong, I stripped them away, and the instant my naked body curled into his, he stirred. We made love—nothing frantic, no words... Just eyes closed, mouths tasting, touching, all sensation. We savoured one another until we were sated and then let sleep claim us once more. So idyllic, so—
‘Morning, sleepyhead.’
I turn at the sound of his voice—wow!
My mouth opens on a breathy sigh. He’s walking towards me, tray outstretched, and steam is rising from two coffee mugs and a mountain of scrambled eggs. But it’s not the offering that has me gaping—it’s him. His sheer masculine beauty.
He’s naked down to the teasing V at the base of his abs, just a pair of lounge pants hanging low, and he’s barefoot, with a sexy-as-fuck grin that’s as heated as I feel.
‘Morning.’
It’s a little gasp, and his grin widens.
‘You can’t be out of breath already; we haven’t even started on the morning sex yet.’
‘Is morning sex on offer?’
He slides the tray onto the bedside table and looks down at his crotch. I follow his eye and the sight of the tentlike bulge forming has my belly contracting.
‘Guess I needn’t have asked.’
‘Guess I needn’t bother to
answer.’
‘Not with words, at any rate...’ I reach out and take hold of him through his clothing.
‘Jesus, Coco.’
But his body bucks into my grasp, telling me just how welcome my touch is.
‘The food will get cold...’
‘I’m not putting this to waste,’ I say, climbing up onto my knees and slackening the waistband of his pants. They fall to floor and I smile up at him as I wet my lips. ‘Are you going to stop me?’
His eyes flare with anticipation. ‘I can’t say no to you.’
I kiss his very tip and air hisses through his teeth. His curse is fierce as his hands fork through my hair and cup the back of my head.
‘Good,’ I say softly, and then I press him between my lips, take one deep suck.
He’s so fucking hard, and I’m already wet at the sight and feel of him, my clit throbbing fiercely with the power I hold.
He rocks and I take him further, my fingers lifting to cup his balls. His sharp intake of breath tells me it’s what he wants, what he needs. And then I pull back slowly and release him with a pop, loving how his muscular frame flexes at the move and he drags in more air.
‘Lie down,’ I say softly.
He does just as I command, stepping out of his trousers and lying down beside me. All the while his eyes are locked in mine, lost in mine. I climb on top of him, one hand pumping his throbbing length, the other dipping between my legs, scooping up my wetness. I’m so ready for him, and I don’t want to wait a second more. I slide his cock back, use his head to separate my folds and then I sink down, taking his all.
‘Christ, Coco. Yes...’ His hands drop to my thighs, his fingers biting into my skin. ‘What I would give to wake up like this every morning...’
I undulate over him, hear his words chiming with my thoughts from seconds before. ‘Me too.’
I ride him faster, harder, dropping both hands to his chest as my movements become more jagged. And then he rises up, holds me tight against him as I rock, rock, rock... There’s that perfect hit of friction, his sheer size filling me, his body engulfing me, and then I’m gone, my head thrown back as I cry out.
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