“Follow your heart and don’t let others lead you into something you don’t want to do. The right path is not the easy one. I need a promise from you, Lexi.”
“What?”
“No more Raven.”
Again, the girl’s eyes darted in all directions, thinking it over, what it meant. But then, in an almost inaudible sound, she said, “Okay.” That was good enough for Carli.
“Good decision. Welcome to the rest of your life.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Easing out of the parking lot Carli hated to leave Lexi sitting by herself in that cold and bleak room at the jailhouse. But she wasn’t the girl’s legal guardian. Lexi finally agreed she should call her mother to come get her, and Carli offered to wait but Lexi said no. She’d face her mom, which was surprisingly the most adult thing she’d done since Carli had known her. Still, Lexi’s wide, sad eyes haunted Carli and she thought about going back inside.
Without consciously thinking about it, Carli automatically pulled her pickup truck into a space in front of the B & R Beanery. At this late hour, she was surprised to see the lights on. She could really use a friend’s shoulder right now and hoped Belinda was working and not Christy, that annoying girl who apparently had a sharp memory when it concerned anything relating to Nathan’s past. With mind and heart weary, Carli hopped out of her vehicle and walked into the smells of roasting coffee beans plus a faint touch of cinnamon. The aroma always brought a smile to her face. Belinda appeared from the back and greeted her with a look of surprise and returned the smile.
“Carli! I’m so glad to see you. We haven’t visited in weeks and weeks. Sit right here.” She motioned towards a back table where papers and unopened envelopes surrounded a calculator and small laptop computer.
“I know.” Carli laughed. “I’ve missed you too. You’re here late.”
“Working on the books and roasting some beans, plus it’s Saturday night. This is my life. What can I get you?”
“Give me whatever amazing new concoction you're working on with a double shot of espresso. It’s been quite the day.”
“Oh, goody. Stories to tell.” Belinda bustled around behind the counter as Carli plopped onto a barstool at a high-top table.
“You have no idea.” Carli hung her purse on the back of the chair and scooted up closer to the table. She stretched out her legs on the stool next to her, crossing her feet at the ankles.
Within minutes Belinda set a Texas flag mug down, complete with lid and straw. “This is nice.” Carli should have said hot coffee, but a frappe might be good too. She leaned over and placed her lips on the straw, taking in a big draw.
“Mugs are new. That one’s on the house.”
Carli sat bolt upright, her cheeks puffed out from the icy cold drink that assaulted her mouth. She swallowed. “That’s not coffee!”
“No, ma’am. That’s a smoothie. Yogurt, berries, vanilla, and coconut milk. You really shouldn’t be drinking a lot of caffeine right now. And by the way, how is Buck?”
Carli made a face but took another drink. She was parched. “I hear Buck is doing really well. Comes home tomorrow. Lola’s making some lifestyle changes for him. That should be fun, watching those two work out his diet.”
“And the riding school?”
Carli let out a heavy sigh. “It’s growing, more slowly than I’d like. There is this one girl. I just came from Sheriff Anderson’s office.”
“Hang on, I need a drink for this one.” Belinda disappeared behind the front counter and hurried back, holding a giant mug and settling onto the stool across from Carli. “Okay, continue.”
Carli told Belinda about Lexi, and the troubles she’d had with Raven. She talked about the other students who had shown up and about the future of the riding school. She had so many doubts about the entire venture, yet she felt strongly she should keep at it.
“Be patient.” Belinda sipped and swallowed. “Word will get around.”
“I’m still making inquiries about horses that might be good for the kids to learn on. Checking with horse rescues and several owners of sale barns have their eyes on the lookout for me. If you hear of any, let me know.” Carli talked about the problems the project brought and her doubts about making a difference in the kids' lives. It felt good to clear her head and talk to a friend. Belinda was a good listener. Carli slurped the last of her smoothie. It was a relief to have shared so much. Her troubles seemed a little less daunting after she talked about them. Always a big worrier, she sometimes made problems bigger in her mind than they really were. She told Belinda about the opening of her riding school and Belinda responded in the same way Lola had. “Teenagers.”
Carli asked, “Can I have coffee this time around? A double shot.”
“Do you think it’s wise?”
“What do you mean?”
“With your condition and all.” Belinda held up a finger as she stood to flip a switch on the chrome contraption that took up one corner of the room. She opened a lid, turned some dials, and seemingly satisfied with the results, sat back down.
The front door chime tinkled, and a young couple walked up to the counter. Belinda hopped off her stool. “Be right back.”
Carli had no idea what she meant by condition. She hadn’t had a horse wreck of any kind. Hadn’t been sick. She just wanted a good jolt of B & R Beanery coffee and then she would be on her way.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know.” Belinda pointed at her tummy. “The baby.”
“You’re pregnant! Congratulations, but why can’t I have caffeine?”
“No silly, not my baby. Yours and Nathan's,” she said with a sheepish grin.
“What are you talking about? Nathan and I are just friends.”
“I love you Carli, but don’t lie to me,” Belinda said in a very annoyed tone. “You have to face reality. You need to plan a wedding and you’re going to be a mommy soon. The time flies by faster than you can ever imagine, and before you know it, you’ll be holding that sweet baby in your arms.”
Carli took a breath. Belinda’s words sounded familiar. Hadn’t Carli just told a young lady sitting in jail about the real world and the consequences of one's decisions?
“Listen to me. Nathan and I are not having a baby,” she finally said. “We’re friends. Well, he wants to be more, but I can’t decide. Where did you hear this?”
“Christy told me.”
“Christy? That blonde girl who filled in for you one day when Nathan and I came in? She knows him from high school. Why would she think I’m pregnant?”
“She heard you and Nathan talking about a birth certificate, said y’all were making plans for the future.”
“No! She’s wrong.” Carli’s hands came down on the tabletop with a forceful slap making Belinda jump. “It’s not true. I found a birth certificate at my grandparents’ house and it’s mine. I was telling Nathan about it.” Shock registered in Carli’s brain. “You didn’t tell anyone else, did you?”
“I may have mentioned it to Lola,” Belinda said with a sniff.
“Lola knows? And she didn’t say anything to me? Well, if it’s just the two of you, that’s not too bad.” Carli exhaled and leaned back in her chair. Maybe she was overreacting.
Belinda lifted her mug and took a long sip, putting it back on the table. “Crazy Vera told me she heard it at Jack’s Grocery, and she's really good friends with Nathan’s mom. But maybe she didn’t say anything.”
“Wait. Doesn’t Christy work at the Chamber of Commerce office? Wonder how many people she comes in contact with in any given week.”
“Nothing much goes on there. This is Dixon after all.” Belinda took another sip and then snapped two fingers. She looked up. “Oh, I just remembered. They did have their chamber banquet last week.”
“What does that mean? How many people think I’m pregnant with Nathan’s baby?” Carli watched her friend gaze out the front window of the coffee shop. “Belinda?”
“The an
nual banquet is just a little dinner for all of the businesses in the county. Christy worked the registration that night. This is just my guess, but I’d say the whole town and most of the county knows by now you’re pregnant with Nathan Olsen’s baby.”
“Oh, no!” Carli buried her face in her hands. “I really need caffeine now, and I’m not paying for it.”
“Right away. Double shot, I know.” Belinda slid off the stool and hurried behind the front counter. She didn’t try to hide the silly grin that spread across her face. Carli glared at her and suddenly her chest tightened, and she couldn’t breathe. She was choking. She leaned over and put her head between her legs as she gulped for air.
“Calm down. You’re having a panic attack,” said Belinda with a hint of amusement in her voice.
“What am I gonna do?” Carli stood and paced around the table. “I can’t deal with this right now. Nathan is already bugging me, says he’s falling in love, which is ridiculous. And Lank is acting weird, plus trying to trick me into bonding with his dog. My ranch foreman’s health is bad. And I have the riding school. If this gets out, parents won’t let their kids come to the Wild Cow for lessons. LoveJoy is done before it even gets going. This is horrible!” She sat on the stool and leaned back to stare at the ceiling.
“Stop talking for a minute. Take a breath, Carli.” Belinda walked up beside her and placed a mug on the table before placing a hand on her shoulder. “The universe is not ganging up on you. I promise. In nine months, they’ll know the truth.”
“Nine months!” With trembling hands, Carli wrapped both around the hot mug and took a long sip. The aroma was enough to calm her nerves, but then another shot of panic seared through her mind. “Tomorrow is lunch at the Olsen’s and Nathan invited me. I hope he doesn’t hear this from his mother before I can talk to him! What’ll I do?”
Carli dropped her face to the table and covered her head with her arms.
“You may think it's so, but this is not the end of the world.” Belinda stood and walked around the table. “Listen to me. Welcome to life in a small town. You’re not the only one having troubles, and the problem is we know everything about everyone’s troubles around here. Or at least we think we know it all. You're not the only one who is misunderstood. We’re all slammed with illness and tragedy, facing life as it comes.”
“But this is so bad.” She’d tell Nathan and they’d have a good laugh, but deep down he wasn’t Carli’s main worry. The only face she saw in her mind was Lank's. Chances are he’d already heard the rumor and chances were even greater he’d never speak to her again. Ever.
“Sometimes life can be overwhelming, but it’s all in how you face it.” Belinda placed an arm around Carli’s shoulder.
“I can’t handle this. It’s just too much. I have a lot going on right now.”
“Carli. Look at me.”
Carli lifted her chin and looked into Belinda’s face.
“Take a breath. Give your worries to God. Clear your mind. Now, what is the first thing you need to do?”
Carli breathed in, exhaled, lifted her mug, took a few more sips to fortify her strength, and set it back on the table with a deliberate gesture as she thought.
“I need to warn Nathan his mother may think she’s going to be a grandma. And I probably need to talk to Lola and Buck,” she finally said, her voice soft.
“That’s my girl. This will all work out. Choose joy. Let God handle the rest. It works every time.”
With a newfound spurt of energy and purpose, Carli slid out of the chair, grabbed her purse, and turned towards the door. She could fix this. She would fix it. Suddenly spinning on her heels, she turned to Belinda and gave her a hug. “What a day.”
“Love you, my friend.” Belinda didn’t stifle the giggle that escaped from her lips as Carli swung open the door and hurried to her pickup truck.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Carli drove through the one traffic light at the corner of Main Street and Main Avenue in the little town of Dixon thinking hard about her friend’s advice. Push the worries away. Let God carry them. He's strong enough to handle whatever's bothering you. It wasn’t until after she had gone through the intersection that she wondered if the light was red or green. No matter now. There was something she had to do.
One of the things she excelled at was worrying. And if there wasn’t anything to worry over, she could probably invent something. Owning a stable and riding business in Georgia had certainly provided her with a lot of stress—how to pay the bills, how to make a profit, how to juggle the equine business and horse showing with her job at the realtor's office. And she fretted over her students too—not only about their performances but also what kind of people they were growing up to be. But Belinda was right, as she thought about her life. Everything usually worked out, no matter how many sleepless nights she spent or how much effort she put into trying to manipulate a situation. It was never as bad as she imagined in her mind. And all that lost sleep! Trusting in her faith was a new concept for Carli, but one she was determined to work at and learn more about.
The address came to mind as she pulled into a parking lot, so she punched it into the map app on her phone. An address that had been burning in her brain for some time, ever since she’d found the stack of old phone books in her grandparents' cabinet—606 Maple Street in Dixon.
She followed the GPS instructions and pulled up in front of a low-roofed house. Numbers on a rusty, crooked mailbox confirmed she was at the right place. A dead tree stood sentry in the front yard, weeds made up the lawn, and even grew in the cracks of the driveway. At the end of the drive towards the back of the lot, a long-neglected garage door hung crooked. The once white clapboard was now partially chipped away and glowed a dull gray in the evening twilight. She was surprised at the unkempt, ramshackle condition. The lot was a good size with ample room on either side of the house, and from what she could tell, a spacious backyard. There didn’t seem to be any activity on the quiet street.
Carli sat in her vehicle for a moment, staring at the house, and glancing in the rearview mirror at the neighborhood behind her. There were no cars driving past, or anyone about. She slowly stepped out and walked up the broken cement drive. Lawn furniture and a wooden table with peeling paint stood on the front porch, seemingly undisturbed. For how many years?
She dared to step on the boarded steps and walk across the front porch, pausing to glance through the picture window. She used her phone to shine a light inside. Good gosh! It was as though time had stood still. The room was tastefully furnished, two overstuffed easy chairs, and a burgundy sofa appointed with knitted white doilies on its arms. A marble-topped table held a Tiffany glass lamp, and the fireplace mantel was covered with knickknacks and framed photos. Carli squinted but couldn’t make out the faces. Was her father in a photo with other family members? Ancestors she never knew existed? She moved to the next window, and the next and the next, covering her mouth in surprise at what she saw through the dirt-caked glass.
She wanted to see more and thought about going inside. It certainly appeared like the house had been abandoned. At the back door she wiggled the doorknob. It didn't budge. Was it locked or stuck?
A gravelly voice behind her made her jump. "You don't look like a burglar. What're ya doin' anyway, nosin' all over?"
Carli whipped around and cast the beam of light at an old man. He was big, with big glasses, a big stomach, and only a few sprigs of white hair on his shiny, bald head. The flabby midsection looked as though it was about to burst open his stretched, plaid shirt.
Her heart still hadn’t slowed down. "I'm, uh, uh, I'm not a burglar, sir. I was looking for the people who lived here. The Miller family. Do you know them?"
"No one's lived here in at least ten years. All dead."
Carli almost felt tears forming. She clenched her teeth, but managed to ask, "Do you live around here?"
"'Cross the street. Who ya lookin' for?"
Carli didn't know if this man was frien
d or foe. In fact, his size frightened her not to mention they were standing in almost pitch dark. She kept an eye on where her escape route might be if she needed one.
"Have you lived there a long time?"
"Prob'ly forty years, if not more. I've seen a lot around here in my time."
Carli's mind reeled. She wanted to ask him so many questions. But she was afraid. Part of her wanted to run and hightail it out of here. Then again, she knew she should seize this opportunity. Please, God, give me some courage right about now.
"Uh, did you ever know a man by the name of Taylor Miller?"
The man's eyes squinted. He was quiet for a bit, sizing her up. Carli almost felt she could see the wheels in his head turning, thinking things over.
"You mean J.T.?"
"Yes, yes, J.T. Do you know him?" Carli was about to jump out of her skin. She imagined Taylor Miller might appear behind her at any minute.
"Yeah, I knew him. Everyone knew J.T."
Carli felt like this guy was either stringing her along or maybe it was just difficult to extract information from him. Like pulling a long rope. Where was the end of it?
"Do you know where he lives now?" There, she said it. Now she had to prepare herself for the answer.
“He moved away. That’s all I know.”
Carli turned before he could see the tears in her eyes. “Thank you for your time,” she said over her shoulder as she hurried to her truck and sped home.
During the drive back to Wild Cow Ranch headquarters, Carli thought about what the old man had said about the Millers. She ran their short conversation over and over in her mind. “They’re all dead,” he said, and yes, he knew J.T. Knew. Did that mean her birth father was dead too? But the man had mentioned that J.T. had moved, so did that mean he was alive and well? Carli wished that she had taken the time to calm down and ask him more questions. But he was so creepy, and the empty house was creepy. Her first instinct was to get away as soon as possible. Maybe the trail to meet her birth father had already grown cold, but she had to hold on to that slim chance of hope.
Follow a Wild Heart: A Christian Contemporary Western Romance Series Page 20