by elda lore
“I’m clean.” I offered. “I’m checked regularly because of the needles used on others’ skin. I’m very protective.” I didn’t want to explain there wasn’t a way for him to impregnate me. That was a discussion for another time.
“It’s only you, Iris,” he said again, before his mouth came to mine, and the smooth tip of him positioned itself at my entrance. My knees shook and my heart raced, the anticipation making me vibrate with need. I bucked upward once, almost begging him to enter, and he slammed into me. I cried out only once as he stilled, filling me in a way I’d only been filled one other time before—by him. When he took me against the wall, he paused like he did now, glancing down where we were joined. This night, he could see everything. Our bodies outlined in moonlight, connecting in the most basic way two bodies can come together.
“So perfect,” he mumbled before dragging to his tip, then thrusting forward slower this time. “Fuck, Iris, you are so warm.” He looked up at my face, not missing a beat as he moved within me. “You practically glow in this light.”
I turned to take note of the brightness of the moon, peeking through the window as a witness, but the view was brief as Charlie’s pistoning motion increased. My knees bent, and he hooked an arm under one, dragging it forward to rest near his chest. The angle opened me, and he filled me to the hilt, a deeply driving and pleasurable pattern. My heart raced as the friction built, prickles like flutters of gold dust swirling in a glass jar. They wanted to be set free.
“Almost,” Charlie muttered, again sensing my thought, and I pondered the connection to him. He read me like the words of a love letter, written in ink, permanent in their meaning.
“Iris,” he moaned, and I couldn’t hold the fluttering any longer. I screamed his name, my head lifting off the pillow. My hands dug at his ass, forcing him deeper into me. He stilled, and the pulse of his release sent a wave of aftershocks, prolonging the eruption in me. My head fell back as I drew in a sharp breath. My voice labored when I could finally speak.
“I think I saw stars,” I giggled.
“I definitely went over a rainbow,” he replied with a chuckle, jostling within me. My eyes shot open to find Charlie staring down at me. He brushed back my hair and his lips kissed me tenderly. We remained joined until we couldn’t any longer. Slipping out of me, he went to my bathroom and returned with a warm cloth. The tenderness of this aftercare brought a sting to my eyes, reminding me again how rare it was for someone to take care of me. My mind raced to the studio, to Violet, to the concept of Dear Iris. So many responsibilities.
“Not yet,” Charlie said as he crawled into bed next to me. “You can’t think any other thoughts, yet.” He kissed my shoulder and turned me into him, letting his mouth linger on my forehead as I curled against his chest.
“I don’t want to go back to Kansas, Dorothy. Let’s stay here a little longer,” he joked. And I had to agree. I wasn’t ready to slip over the rainbow where his world was only black and white.
10
Riordan
“Do you believe you can love more than one person?”
We’d made love again. The second time, I took things slower, savoring every part of her colorful body, lapping up the richness of her rain scent before diving in for the sweet dessert of entering her body. Her head rolled to face me on the pillow as my hand caressed circles over her flat stomach. She had a Greek goddess, hourglass shape, perfectly sculpted and painted in color. Her body twisted to lay flush with mine.
“I do believe we can love more than one person in our lives,” she answered, her voice soft and sad.
“Who was he?” I asked, instantly remorseful her love had gone to another before me. I don’t know where the thought came from, but I wanted her to think of me in a way I didn’t deserve. I already sensed he hadn’t treated her right, and didn’t deserve her any more than me.
“It was a long time ago. He lived in Chicago, like you.” The tip of her finger traced down my nose and I had to fight thoughts of it tracing other places. “He was from a wealthy family there.”
My breath hitched, and I choked on the air.
“Any family I’d know?” I laughed without humor. Just because I came from an upstanding set of parents didn’t mean I knew every wealthy family in society. In fact, I tried to avoid most of them, until Henny.
“The Mitchells.”
My heart skipped a beat, and my hand leapt to press over the skin on my chest.
“Are you okay?” She propped up on her elbow. Her concerned voice echoing through the room. I nodded, suddenly choking in a new manner. There were too many things that had to be said.
“I did love Henny, but after all that happened, I’m not certain I loved her the way I should have.” My eyes searched Iris’ face, panicked at what she’d think of me.
“I loved him, too, but he couldn’t accept me, and his family would never have approved.”
“What’s there not to love?” I teased, reaching out to cup her cheek. She turned to kiss my palm and fell back on the bed.
“I’m complicated,” she laughed, her voice lacking its typical spritely sound.
“I find you endearing.”
She laughed in earnest this time and turned to face me again.
“You can’t say you love me after one night of sex,” she said, sounding aghast at the thought and covering her mouth with her fingers.
“Actually, it’s been two, and you’re making me sound like a chick,” I teased, and she punched me softly on the shoulder. “But I do feel a stronger pull to you in a week than I felt toward Henny after a year.” My voice tightened. It wasn’t that I didn’t care for Henny, but Henny didn’t know the real me, and she apparently didn’t want me anymore than Iris’ man wanted her.
My eyes flipped up to her face. A thought struck me, like a poison-tipped arrow.
“Wait, did you say Mitchell? Not Ben Mitchell, right?” I asked, my breath catching in my throat again, my heart racing in my chest. Iris’ head pulled back in surprise.
“Yes, Ben Mitchell. Son of Mitchell Enterprises.”
I sat up directly, the pain in my chest clenching my skin.
“Charlie, what is it?”
My hand clutched my left pec, fingers wishing to reach through the outer layer of skin and claw out the organ within.
“I’m sorry, Iris. I’m so sorry,” I pled, looking away from her. “Ben Mitchell is the name of the man I killed, along with Henny.” The words hung in the air, incomplete, like a conversation bubble threatening to pop. “He’s the man Henny loved instead of me. And it’s his heart that beats inside me.”
I couldn’t look at Iris but the weight of her eyes on me forced me to turn. Her purple gaze was wide, filled with liquid setting the indigo color swirling.
“What?” formed on her lips, so soft, so subtle, as if she didn’t speak it aloud, but I knew her question. Her eyes leapt to my chest, the rugged scar down the middle.
“It appears my heart belongs to you after all, along with my body and mind.”
Iris’ head began to shake. “He didn’t love me. He chose another girl more suitable for his family, he said. He never told me her name, but it had to be…” Suddenly, a light illuminated behind her. My eyes shifted to the moonlight dancing through the window, but the radiant glow didn’t match the direction of the beam. It appeared the growing color was coming from over her right shoulder.
“Iris,” I whispered, but she was already backing away from me. “Iris, I’m sorry. I had no idea. You have to believe me…”
“That’s not it, Charlie,” she muttered, keeping her back away from me as the illumination over her right shoulder grew intensely brighter. She leaned forward to reach for her clothes and then looked up, noticing me watching her. She squatted instead, keeping her back angled away from my view.
“Iris, what’s happening?” my voice croaked as I pressed forward toward her. A delicate hand shot out to stop me.
“It’s nothing, but I have to go.” She slipped he
r dress over her head in one smooth move, skipping a bra or panties. The glowing light faded but still radiated over her collarbone.
“What?” I questioned looking around the room. This was her place. If anything, I should be the one leaving after the bombshell I dropped. “Where are you going?”
“I have to go,” she whispered, walking around the edge of the bed, but I scrambled to the corner and reached for her arm.
“Let me go with you,” I offered, suddenly frightened by the pain on her face. Her brow pinched.
“I can’t.” She tugged her arm free of my grasp and bent for her shoes. I untangled my legs from her sheets and flipped off the bed. Reaching for my jeans, I slipped them on and trailed behind her as she exited her bedroom. Thunder rumbled, lightning struck, and her hallway burst into vivid color. The emanating glow from her shoulder peaked over her dress and brightened a spot on her covered shoulder blade.
“Iris, what is that?” My eyes traced the outline, the pattern roughly the shape of a butterfly. I’d noticed the butterfly ink as I explored her body earlier. The strange illumination and her retreat frightened me. The glow of her skin called up a million questions and no plausible explanations.
“Don’t follow me,” she ordered, spinning abruptly to face me. I was still missing my socks and shoes. My shirt lay somewhere on her bedroom floor. I stopped, nodding my obedience, but I’d give her only thirty seconds lead before I’d disobey her command.
The way she demanded I not follow her only reinforced my concern. Iris was a complete mystery to me, and while my heart yearned for her, my mind couldn’t reconcile the burning brightness seeping from her skin.
What was it? What was she?
The clouds burst open, and the rain came down like a waterfall as I raced for my Harley. Torrential streams beat against my windshield. She had a few minutes ahead of me, but the darkness of the mountain highlighted the single beam of headlights. She was climbing the same road we’d taken for our sunset picnic. The conditions were highly unfavorable for a motorcycle, but I didn’t care. I’d risk my life to save hers if that’s what she needed, and with my mind racing with unimaginable thoughts, I didn’t measure the fear galloping through me as I slipped and skidded on slick pavement.
I lost her in the deluge but picked up the stream of a headlight again higher up the mountain. Assuming she was headed near where we picnicked, I focused on that as my destination. Hours seemed to pass while it was only moments before I found her VW bug pulled off the road, nestled in a cove of trees. The car was empty. Iris was missing.
Abruptly shutting off my bike, I hitched over it and bent to a near crawl through the heavy bush. The crash of the ocean in the distance filled my ears, along with the beating sound of rain on rock. Raising another branch, I found Iris on the edge of a narrow cliff.
“Iris,” I barked, second-guessing shouting her name the instant it left my lips. What if I startled her and she fell?
“Charlie!” she shouted over the pelting raindrops. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you?” I stumbled, as I freed myself from the bush. She took a step back, and I reached for her, again fearing she’d fall from the cliff.
“Charlie, please.” Her head shook. Her raven hair plastered to her head. Water trickled over her cheeks.
“Iris, explain this to me. Let me help you. You’re…You’re frightening me.” Reaching for her soaked shoulders with my large hands, I tried to tug her to me.
“If you knew everything about me, you’d be more than scared, Charlie. Go back down the mountain,” she yelled, her voice crumbling with the command.
“Just tell me what you’re doing.” My eyes leapt to the open air beside us and the angry waves in the distance.
“I can’t. I’m not allowed.” Her eyes searched my face, and her brows pinched. “Riordan, please leave.” The use of my new name sounded distant. She was separating me from her, and I wouldn’t let it happen. The heat of her right shoulder warmed my fingers. Her skin sizzled with the sound of cool rain on hot skin.
“Iris, what’s happening?” I was afraid to let her go, and yet afraid to hold onto her.
“You can’t understand. Ben couldn’t. Go home.”
The comparison pissed me off, and I held tighter to her.
“I’m not him,” I barked. “I may have his heart, but I’m not him.” The shouting felt like a confession, the instant relief from a sin. Hensley wanted him, not me, because he wasn’t me. But I only wanted to be who I was.
Suddenly, my chest clenched, the pain like a vice grip pressing wood together, and I had to release Iris. My palm squeezed at my water-laden T-shirt. Clenching to a fist, my knuckles rubbed over the material, massaging, but it did nothing to soothe the stabbing sensation. I bent at the waist, overcome.
“Charlie!” she screamed, my name drowning as if we were suddenly submerged by the ocean below. My heart leapt at the sound of her voice, desperate to jump from my skin, or more likely, throw me over the cliff. A tightening clench at my left side forced me to fall to my knees. My heart was going to be the death of me after all. I’d finally found a girl to love, but she wouldn’t ever love me. Not when the heart that beat inside me once beat for her in another manner.
“Charlie!” My name drifted over the waves, echoing out to sea before boomeranging back to my ears. I closed my eyes to the pain, and the world went black, like the rest of me.
11
Iris
Riordan slumped before me, and while my shoulder began to sting, the only thing to do was to help him. Despite my goddess powers, I could only drag him a few feet—enough to shelter him better from the rain. Then I called 911. He needed immediate medical attention. Saving a human life wasn’t my forte, either, and I cursed the powers of being a goddess, yet feeling so helpless. My hand rested over his heart to measure each shallow beat. My palm massaged over the firm muscle of his chest, searching for the low rhythm I faintly felt through his wet shirt. My other fingers fluttered over his wet hair, stroking back the heavy bangs, whispering sweet words of encouragement for him to stay with me. How could he think his heart was not his own to protect? How could he not see his heart belonged to him to release and receive love?
Sirens whined off in the distance as the rain subsided slowly, trembling like a steady shower more than the waterfall streams of moments before. The thunder rumbled in the distance and lightning crackled in the black ink of the sky. As the ambulance approached, I leaned forward and kissed Riordan’s bluish lips. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, letting my head fall to his chest and placing my lips over his heart. Pain seared my shoulder, reinforcing my need to fulfill my duty, but still, I stayed.
Thoughts of Ben collided with images of Riordan—how different they were from each other. My meandering mind compared one against the other before merging them together into a heaping set of questions.
An accident.
Riordan killed Ben.
Riordan had Ben’s heart.
Ben’s heart beat inside Riordan.
Ben’s life saved Riordan’s...
The bizarre twist of events that brought Ben back to me pinched my own heart. Could it really be this? Had Ben found me across a continent and part of an ocean? Was it Ben who I wished to find me? Or did Riordan’s heart belong only to him? Wasn’t it Riordan I wanted to love?
Sitting up, I looked down at his features, so opposite Ben’s. Dark and edgy, with inked skin, my attraction to Riordan went deeper than the physical. The way Charlie looked at me, like he knew me, like he saw inside me set my heart fluttering. How he appreciated all of me without knowing the truth of who I was, filled me too much emotion. Was this really Riordan? Or was it Ben seeking me through Charlie? It couldn’t be, and yet, I knew the mysteries of life could outwit even gods. Was it possible someone wanted to play a trick on me? Could someone be this cruel? What message were they sending?
Find the one whose heart dances with the rain. Let love be his forgiveness.
Was I be
ing punished for not fulfilling my duty and solving this mystery? My shoulder seared in white hot heat, but I ignored the pain through gritted teeth. I would not leave him until he was safe.
My thoughts raced. Who was this man? Who was I to him? My hands cupped his fingers, and I inhaled his knuckles, breathing in the faint scent of charcoal pencils and tattoo ink.
The sirens pealed closer before coming to an abrupt halt.
“Through here,” I yelled. The rain no longer impeding the sound of my voice. I stood as I heard people enter the low brush and stepped back when two men and a stretcher appeared through the foliage.
“He collapsed. He has a weak heart.” The words choked me, and for all the strength I displayed while we waited, I lost it. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I scrambled out of the way for the EMTs. They carefully covered Charlie’s nose with an oxygen mask and lifted him onto a portable stretcher. As they carried him to the back of the ambulance, I offered the best information I had about Charlie.
“Do you wish to ride with us or follow?” the emergency tech asked. Blinking up at him, the pain pierced my already aching shoulder blade. Lightning struck nearby, and the thunder rumbled my name in a way only I could hear.
“Call this number, please. Ask for Cash.” I rattled off the phone number for Charlie’s brother, and then I waited as the ambulance rolled away. I wanted to follow. I wanted to tell Charlie everything, but I didn’t dare to dream that somewhere over the rainbow was a man who would understand me.
+ + +
The gods and goddesses ran me ragged with messages, which was part of the difficulty in setting up roots, but I wanted to finally feel like I had a home base. With the discovery of Bottle Beach, Maui seemed like the perfect location. Thoughts of moving nagged at me, but when I fell into my bed, still ripe with the scent of Charlie, I reconsidered. How could I stay here and face him? Duty called, but my heart called to him. I couldn’t deny my destiny, and yet, I couldn’t share it with him, either.