But before we could fade away from Hell, something bashed into my upper arm and knocked me toward the door.
I opened my eyes to find a Fearling undulating across my chest. Zaponsla had fallen alongside me, a second Fearling wrapped around her neck. As I pushed myself up, three of the souls spilled from my pockets.
“I knew this was too easy.” Zaponsla called her trident and stabbed the Fearling.
I grappled with the one on my chest, but my panic at having lost the souls made me indecisive. I lunged toward the floor to pick up the souls, then back up again as I decided to kill the Fearling first.
I called up my knife, but trying to stab at it made me worry I was going to harm the ones inside my cloak. A different knife flashed through the air, embedded in my Fearling, and clattered to the floor as the creature disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Leave them!” shouted Zaponsla but I ignored her. I had to gather the souls. I couldn’t leave them here. I’d killed them, despite Zaponsla asking me not to, and I was responsible for getting them back to Heaven safely.
They might have chosen the wrong side of the war, but as she’d said, we’d been created to protect them.
Only after I had tucked the last back into my pocket did I realize I’d chosen poorly.
Fearlings poured through cracks in the wall opposite where we’d fallen, oozing from crevices with their multitude of eyes and claws and hairy legs and running along the walls toward us.
One faster than the others zoomed through the air and landed on Zasponsla’s neck. I called up a knife and threw it. The thing died in a puff of smoke, and my knife disappeared. She tossed me a grateful look but then shouted, “Run! Get out of here! We have to leave the swastikas behind!”
“No, we can’t!”
“We have to!”
A wave of creatures rippled along the walls, and that’s when I saw a Fearling, larger than the rest, sitting firmly on the symbol-covered tile. With it there, we’d be unable to fade out of Hell, even if we could reach the marble before the horde descended upon us.
I called another knife and threw it, but as soon as that Fearling died, another took its place, appearing as if from thin air. We’d be unable to fight through the entire lot of them, and if we didn’t leave soon, we’d be overwhelmed.
“We have to go.” Zaponsla grabbed my arm.
As the Fearlings leapt through the air toward us, we faded out of Hell and into the War Room of the Praetorium.
CHAPTER 16
Before we’d even fully faded into the Praetorium, Parsiel was shouting at us. “What happened? Where is it? Why are you wearing that cloak? What’s happened to you?”
“Calm yourself,” said Serinh. Heppeliam, missing, was likely still at the fortress with my battalion.
A handful of Keepers and Attendants stood behind a table prepared with various items, including a strange book with a translucent cover, the likes of which I’d never seen. Several jars of angel water, a file like the Muse used for etching Yasva’s symbol into the Nexus floor, and half a dozen quill pens sat beside it.
Parsiel snapped, “Enael, report.”
“We failed in our mission.” What more is there to say? “Oh, but here are some humans who devoted their bodies to the Nazi cause.”
I took the souls out of my pockets, one by one, and laid them on the floor.
As the first stretched and lengthened, Serinh snapped her fingers at a nearby Attendant. “Get a squad. Quickly.”
Almost three dozen Nephilim rushed in with tridents drawn. The humans took form and the angels surrounded each. When the woman whose throat I cut resolved into her eternal form, she screamed.
I pressed my wings against my back, unsure whether I wanted to snicker, look sheepish, or burst into tears.
“What did you—” Parsiel stopped himself, speaking loudly to be heard over the screaming. “Never mind. Get them out of here. Take them to the Sanctuary. Debrief them, but keep a pair of Nephilim on each until the Tenders have assessed the humans’ mental states and determined they’re no threat to us.” He rounded on me. “You. We’re going to my penthouse to discuss this.”
As he marched toward the door, I followed, with Serinh and Zaponsla on my heels.
“This is between Enael and me,” he said.
“No.” Serinh’s voice was calm and melodic, more like the Seraph I’d first met than the unsure angel I’d seen lately. “We’re all going to discuss this together, quietly, rationally. And we’re going to do it in my apartment.”
Parsiel stared at her for a long moment and then said, “Fine. Come along.”
As we flew, I glanced back at Zaponsla. She gave me a look that I interpreted to mean, Isn’t this guy a chore? and I smiled despite the events of the past hour.
The touches of gold everywhere in Serinh’s apartment took on new meaning now that I knew she had been the newest Seraph on the Council for centuries. Serinh, Zaponsla, and I arranged ourselves on her cream-and-white-swirled sofas, but Parsiel stood behind one of the chairs. I’d barely folded my wings behind me when he started barking out his frustration.
“What did I say before you left? I said that you were not to fail in your mission.”
“Oh, really, and here I thought it was expected that all Nephilim were to do a terrible job.” My lip curled. “Except, of course, that’s what you do expect of me, isn’t it? You give me these assignments straight from the Council and then sit back and watch, fully expecting I’ll fail. What is your problem exactly?”
No one was more surprised by the words coming out of my mouth than me, but how much more was I supposed to take? I’d spent my life—many, really—trying to do everything right. Trying to find my purpose as a Cornerstone. I’d killed my own lover, been disconnected from my soul mate, and been bossed around by every member of the Council. I didn’t mean to fail. It just kept happening.
Serinh’s feathers flicked, and she put a soothing hand on my shoulder. “Now, Enael, let’s talk about this calmly.”
Parsiel pointed at me. “You’re a young, naive angel who believes Heaven owes you something simply because you were born a Cornerstone. That entitlement is the same reason Adolf Hitler is about to launch a world-wide attack instead of being the hero Germany needs and that we planned him to be. A true leader unites everyone. He doesn’t pick and choose those to subjugate.”
“He’s going to what?” squawked Zaponsla.
Parsiel turned heel and paced toward the wall.
“Yes, well,” said Serinh, “that is the latest information we have, but it doesn’t come as a surprise. We”—she looked pointedly at Parsiel—”created the conditions when forming his latest personality. And the best we can do is keep a pair of Nephil with him and his Guardian at all times. However, those steps don’t stop him from listening to the people he trusts, whom Asorat has firmly in his control.”
“What about their Guardians?” I asked.
“Most have no influence any more. At least, those that are left. Most of Adolf’s inner circle, following Asorat’s orders, sent them away.”
“That’s why the humans we reaped from the fortress had no Guardians with them.”
“Exactly.”
But then I stood, squared my shoulders, and faced Parsiel. “You set us up to fail.”
His golden eyes blazed. “I certainly did not.”
“Why the circuitous route through the castle?”
“I had to ensure you wouldn’t run into any demons.”
I snorted. “So that’s why I came across my old lover while we were looking for the symbol?”
“Voctic’s alive?” Serinh rose from her chair, and apparently because everyone was standing, Zaponsla stood up, too.
“No, not that lover. Kaspen.” My head was starting to hurt, which shouldn’t have even been possible, but I felt whispers of human experience ever since being embodied in Africa. “Parsiel made sure I’d come across him.”
“That is quite the wild accusation,” he said. “Why would
I do something like that?”
“I don’t know. You’re sabotaging us. Maybe you’re the Aleph.”
He smirked and then his smirk widened and then he laughed. “Yes. I’m the Aleph.”
My mouth fell open.
Serinh spoke. “Parsiel claims not to believe in such a being.”
“An ancient, better-than-angel creature, bent on the destruction of Heaven, who hates humankind?” he scoffed. “That story is as old as Heaven itself, and not a word of it is true. I can’t believe that a Praetor would even admit to believing in such fairy tale nonsense, let alone speak it publicly.”
“But Voctic was harassing me,” I protested. “He said it was because of the Aleph!”
Parsiel’s laugh wasn’t quite as loud as the first, but it was still condescending. “He was a disturbed former Archangel who is now at rest inside the Source.”
“You could be lying. I don’t believe that you don’t believe in the Aleph. What about the Books in the Archives? What do those have to say about it?”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Think what you like, Nephil. I don’t have to prove—or in this case, disprove—anything to you. I have one power to answer to, and none of you are It.”
Maybe he’s in league with the Aleph…
But before I could say anything, his smirk returned.
“Fine. There is no Aleph. Whatever you say, Parsiel.” I folded my arms. “Now, do you have a new assignment for me, or are you done blaming every bad thing in the universe on my existence?” I was a tiny bit proud of myself for not letting him trample all over me. The Enael of several centuries ago would never have stood up to a Seraph like this.
“I don’t suppose I’m going to get anything more out of you about what happened?” he said.
I suppose I do owe them an explanation. I opened my mouth, but Zaponsla rushed to answer. “There were Fearlings protecting the tile. They swarmed us and we barely got away.”
“Yes,” I said, “That’s what happened.” The gratitude in my voice was real. I was about to confess that I’d ruined the entire operation for the sake of some traitorous human souls.
“That is quite unfortunate,” said Serinh. “Our intelligence was hazy on that point. We thought the humans outside were the only protection—a distraction the two of you would most definitely handle in a prompt and efficient manner.” She sat down and arranged her skirt. “Well, nothing to be done for it. Now they will definitely be vigilant. We’ll not be able to attempt another covert mission.”
Zaponsla and I sank down onto the couch across from Serinh.
“Yes. Precisely,” said Parsiel. “You do realize you’ve made things a whole lot more difficult for us, yes? With the symbols in Asorat’s possession, he’ll continue to grow power with these Nazis he has under his heel. We can try to attack the castle one more time, but I’m certain we’ll fail. The symbols are out of our reach.” He towered over me. “Do you have anything more to say for yourself?”
“No.” I counted the pieces of fringe on the white, gold-flecked rug.
“In that case, I’m returning to the Praetorium to create yet another battle plan,” said Parsiel.
“May the Source that made you comfort and aid you.”
He sighed as he faded from the room without returning the greeting.
“I apologize for Parsiel,” said Serinh. “I wish you didn’t have to see him behave in such a manner.”
I shrugged. “He’s acting the same as when I was a Reaper. And you don’t have to apologize for him.”
She nodded. “What really happened?”
Zaponsla moved closer to me on the couch. “I told you what really happened. Fearlings, swarm, ran away. That’s it.”
Serinh pursed her lips. “I want to reassure you that you can trust me, but with what’s going on, I don’t fault your suspicion.”
I continued counting the pieces of rug fringe.
“Let’s go to the Nexus, Enael.” Zaponsla stood and stretched her wings, and I also rose. “We could both use some time with the Source.”
“Yes, that’s a good idea.” Without sarcasm this time, I said, “May the Source that made you comfort and aid you.”
“Peace and love to you,” Serinh finished.
CHAPTER 17
Once Zaponsla and I were at the Nexus, I curled up on a cushion, and she lay down next to me.
“Don’t blame yourself,” she said.
“I’ll try not to,” I whispered.
“I don’t care what he says. I believe the Aleph exists. Maybe Parsiel is the Aleph. Maybe he’s in cahoots with it. But there’s no way Voctic would have done all that on his own.”
I didn’t answer.
“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping boundaries, but I saw his regard for you. Hurting you hurt him. I truly believe that, from what I saw in your memories. He loved you. And do you really think he would have killed himself over someone he hated? He wasn’t only trying to get away from the Aleph. He couldn’t bear to see you suffer.”
I rubbed a hand over my wrist, where I’d hidden the scar Voctic gave me. It’s so easy to think of someone fondly when they’re gone. I’d seen my Wards do it time and again, for people in their lives I knew were better off gone. But I missed Voctic—his saucy comments, his wry smile, the enticing way he walked across a room. I wanted to believe her. I did wish that he had loved me back.
“Let’s try something.” Zaponsla sat up. “Let’s ask the Source about the Aleph.”
“It’s not going to answer us. You know that.” But I pushed myself from the cushion anyway.
“You can’t get an answer if you don’t ask a question. I want to try.”
“All right.”
She took my fingers and closed her eyes. My insides fluttered with nerves and I closed my own eyes.
“O Source,” she intoned in a serious voice that almost made me burst into laughter because of how incongruous it was with her fun personality, “we come before You to humbly ask for Your help. An unplanned war is sweeping over Heaven and Earth, and we want to know where the true enemy resides. Tell us: does the Aleph exist?”
Its answer came inside my mind. My children, I will not tell you that.
“Why not?” said Zaponsla.
I do not involve myself in these affairs. I have given you free will, and if you have questions of that nature, you must seek them within your own spheres.
“But what about Asorat?” I said. “Is he the only threat?”
He has plans contrary to the Council of Seraphim’s.
“But is he the only threat?”
All creatures are a threat to all other creatures. Every one of you makes choices that ripple throughout history. To ask me this is to question the very nature of the existence I’ve given you.
I muttered, “Told you.”
Zaponsla clung to my hand as though she could squeeze the answers from it. “Please! Is there a second threat to the Council beyond Asorat, or is he the only one? You have to help us.”
Every member of the Council has their own wishes, goals, and desires, and not all are in concert with their overall decisions. That is the most that I can say. If you have questions about your own unique existence, I am always available to discuss them.
She said, “Is my own unique existence going to run into both Asorat and the Aleph? Or are they one and the same?”
The Source’s chuckle tickled my mind.
“You tried, at least.” I opened my eyes and dropped Zaponsla’s hand.
“Ugh! I just can’t believe It won’t help us. Does It want Asorat to take over Its power? To guide human history?”
“I think that’s part of our struggle. ‘There is no growth without pain.’ We might not create Incarnation Plans, but we all have things to learn. Maybe this is a lesson for the Seraphim. Or me, since I’m apparently a Cornerstone and apparently important.” I flopped back on the cushion.
“This is so frustrating. It has to know. It has the answers, right up there.” The cushion jig
gled as she waved wildly at the pink-clouded sky.
But I wasn’t indignant like she was. I knew what the Source was going to say, and I was already thinking about something else—my failure earlier this day.
Why didn’t I let the human souls go? I asked It. Why didn’t I drop them and grab the tile?
Because you were created to protect them, It answered. Created by Me with a gentle, loving, compassionate nature.
Some Nephil I make. Gentle, loving, and compassionate. We’re supposed to be fighters.
But you are you. You can be no one else.
Despite Its attempt to soothe me, I couldn’t find comfort. I’d made things a whole lot more difficult for Heaven.
Maybe I’d lost us the war.
CHAPTER 18
Fortunately for me, wars are not lost in single battles, and our defeat was only one small step in the second Great War sweeping the European continent. Adolf rose into power, aided by Asorat, and Asorat’s power increased, aided by Adolf’s Nazis.
Harbinger proceeded to Earth, incarnating as a Jewish woman named Bernadette, as planned. The Engineers assigned a more seasoned Guardian to watch over her, and I visited her frequently with Zaponsla and Chana—in spirit form, of course. Once, I thought Bernadette was looking directly at me, but it turned out she was merely drifting into thought. She sensed our presence, which calmed her, but as is the case with all humans who have lived many lifetimes, she had no recollection of any lives before this one.
Zaponsla and I integrated into our squad, becoming two of the many Nephilim who were fighting against the influence of Adolf’s propaganda. We were part of a failed attempt to halt publication of his manifesto. Then our squad was assigned as a task force to stop its distribution. The fire we started didn’t catch, a clear indicator of the level of influence the swastika had on Earth, and our squad retreated from an overwhelming demonic attack.
Whispers of Asorat’s plan for uniting Heaven under his rule reached the ear of every angel. The word was that he would grant immunity to any who joined him before he invaded Heaven. Every single being would continue in whatever capacity they wished, be it their current rank or some far-off aspiration they could only dream about today.
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