by Peak, Renna
That’s what I get for sleeping with him. Now I can’t think of him any other way. Even knowing what he is.
“Clara,” he says after a long moment of silence. “I want you to know that this doesn’t change anything.”
“Of course it changes things. You’re a prince.”
“But here I’m just Nick Smith. And this is my ranch. I’m not leaving.”
“You’re telling me your family’s okay with you spending the rest of your life out here in the middle of nowhere? Cut off from phone service?” I shake my head. “Maybe you’ll stay for a year or two, but eventually you’ll go home. I’m sure you have royal responsibilities.”
“I…won’t deny that I have some responsibilities,” he admits. “But I’m the fourth son, Clara. Right now I’m eighth in line for the throne, and I suspect that by the time my older brothers are done having children, I’ll be even further than that. Any so-called responsibilities I have can easily be passed to someone else, if necessary.”
“And you’re okay with that?” That surprises me as much as anything else he’s said. “Nick, you’re a stickler for rules. I don’t see you abandoning your duties completely, no matter what you say.”
He frowns. “I haven’t abandoned anything. I’ve simply chosen to remove myself from that life for a time.”
For a time. “Ha! See, even you admit this is only temporary.” It feels like a hollow victory, though. “I don’t get it. What do you have to run away from? You’re a prince! The whole world is at your feet.”
His eyes are sharp, even in the dark. “From what I overheard between you and your fiancé, you had quite a bit at your feet, too, back in New York—a good job, a nice home, friends and family, and plenty of money. Yet, you came here. We’re the same, you and I.”
“With one major difference. This isn’t a game of pretend for me, Nick. Life here isn’t something I’m planning to take on and off as it suits me. This was supposed to be me starting over. Forever. A new life, not a temporary escape. I wanted to build something real here, but I’m not sure I can do that on this ranch, Nick. Not now.”
I turn away from him, looking out across the moonlit field. I can feel his gaze on the side of my face.
Finally, he shifts. “If that’s what you think is best, I won’t stop you.”
“Damn it, Nick!” I say, leaping up to my feet. “You’re so bad at this.”
“Bad at what?” he grumbles, standing up beside me.
“When a woman you just slept with admits she’s confused, you fight for her! You don’t let her walk away!”
Nick’s brows draw together. “You just told me you couldn’t be happy here.”
“Because I want you to convince me I can. Give me a reason to stay.” Until this moment, I didn’t realize that was what I needed—to hear him say those things, to convince me that he wants this. Because deny it all he wants, being a prince changes things. And not just about his role here—about us. I honestly wasn’t even thinking about the future when I stripped off all my clothes for him. But it’s impossible not to think about it now. I don’t know what I want, but if he can never allow this to be more than a fling, a fun distraction while he’s playing out his cowboy fantasies…I want to know that.
“Give me a reason, Nick,” I say again. “Tell me I’m not better off walking away.”
He rakes a hand through his hair. Honestly, his hesitation is answer enough, but his words cement it.
“How is me trying to change your mind any different than what Adam is doing?” he asks.
I swear, it takes every ounce of my energy not to knee him in the balls. Instead, I throw my hands up and spin away from him.
“If that’s what you want, then I’ll go,” I tell him. I grab Pom’s reins. “You obviously have some things to figure out on your own.”
He makes a sound like a growl behind me. “What is it you want me to say, Clara? One moment you’re insisting that everything has changed and that you can’t stay here anymore, the next you’re angry that I’m taking you at your word. What do you want?”
I spin back around. “I want to know how much of this is real!”
My shouting stuns him into silence. Which is good, because I’m not done.
“This is your chance, Nick,” I tell him. “Your opportunity to get rid of me once and for all. But if that’s not what you want, I need to hear it from your own lips.” Pom’s reins still in my grip, I prop my hands on my hips. “So what’s it going to be, Your Highness? Do you want me here or not?”
Nicholas
This woman has done nothing but confuse me from the moment she walked into my life.
As I look at her, trying to figure out what it is she wants me to tell her, so many things run through my mind. She’s a complication, certainly, one I didn’t think I wanted. But one I’ve found I need. How can I possibly make her understand that this isn’t some game for me? That even if I do have to return to Montovia to attend to my responsibilities, I’m still the same person? I may not have to cover my accent in Montovia, but it doesn’t change who I am.
“It’s a ridiculous question.” The moment the words leave my lips, I can see I’ve said the wrong thing.
Clara throws her hands up in the air again. Her horse’s reins are still in her hand, and the horse gives a small whinny of protest at being jerked. “What would a less ridiculous question be then, Nick?” She shakes her head. “What did you even hope to accomplish out here?”
I frown at her. “I suppose the same as you. I wanted a new start. A fresh perspective.”
She almost growls at me. “Then why didn’t you just book some stay on a fancy ranch? Why did you have to buy something like this?” She shakes her head again. “Nothing you do makes any sense, do you realize that?”
I take a step toward her. “Perhaps not. But…” I take another tentative step toward her. “It led me to you.”
“What?” She cocks her head, her eyebrows drawing together. “You didn’t get led anywhere…” She makes another sound of exasperation. “Say it then. Say you want me here.”
“I’d think that was obvious after what we shared today.”
“You are…” She almost growls. “You are the most frustrating, self-serving, oblivious—”
I take another step toward her, cutting her off with a kiss. The moment her lips touch mine, a fire begins to build beneath my skin. I slide my arms around her waist, pulling her hard against me. Her lips part, and I taste her, almost as though it’s the first time.
I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her. That thought alone should be enough to make me want to send her away. But I’m not sure there’s anything that could convince me of that now.
Her fingers dig into my back as she seems to melt against me. I shift, pressing against her so she can feel exactly how much I want her.
But she pulls her lips away from mine a moment later. “Dammit, Nick, you can’t just kiss me every time you don’t want to answer a question.”
“Haven’t I answered your questions?”
“No!” She gives a little whimper of frustration. “No. You…haven’t.”
“Are you certain?”
“Why can’t you just say the words?” She pushes against my chest, breaking free of my embrace.
“What exactly would you like me to say, Clara?” I realize in that moment I’ve not been covering my accent at all. Not been pretending, or whatever it is she accused me of a few minutes ago.
She turns back to me. “I want you to say how you feel.”
“I’d think it’s quite clear how I feel—”
“No. It isn’t.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Just because we have…you know, chemistry or whatever…” She shakes her head. “It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean you care.”
“I care.” Something pangs in my chest as I speak the words aloud. “I…I want you to stay for as long as you care to.”
She frowns at me. “And what happens when you’re done playing cowboy
?”
“I’m not playing.” I grumble the words. “Nothing about this is a game.”
“Oh really?” She points in the direction of my house, though there is no way to see it through the grove of trees. “Then what do you call that?”
I glance in the direction she’s pointing before looking back at her. “Call what?”
“Pax Donovan. He’s…” She shakes her head, almost as though she can’t believe what she’s saying herself. “He’s in the house. He’s…he’s your brother-in-law. Married to your sister. Princess Sophia.”
“I’m aware of the familial ties, Clara. I fail to understand how one thing has anything to do with the other.”
“Except that it does. It totally does.”
“I’ve already stated that I have every intention of making this my life. For good.”
“But why here? Why here?” She motions with her arms toward the field surrounding us. “I’m sure there are farms in Montovia. Ranches. Whatever. You didn’t have to come here—”
“Nor did you.” I still fail to see what the point of this conversation is. It isn’t as though I invited her here to be with me when she first showed up. It isn’t even as though I offered her a job. She came in and demanded it, and I acquiesced. I can admit now that I’m happy it turned out the way it did, but I still cannot understand why she’s so upset about the location of where I’ve chosen to live.
“Why can’t you understand this, Nick?”
“I don’t know. I honestly can’t understand why you’re so upset with my decision to purchase this ranch. That decision was made long before I ever met you—”
“Yes, but why? Why not just stay in Montovia?”
“Have you been to Montovia, Clara?”
“I…no.” She frowns at me. “But I’m sure it’s beautiful. Every bit as beautiful as it is here—”
“Have you ever had a person get so far under your skin that you’d rather move across the world than have to see him again?” I cock my head. “I rather imagine you might be able to understand if you would actually contemplate it.”
“I…” Her frown deepens. “That isn’t what happened to me, if that’s what you’re asking. That isn’t why I left New York—”
“No, but perhaps it’s why I left Montovia.”
She glances in the direction of the house again. “Him? Pax?”
“Among others.” There’s no way of explaining the events that led to me leaving my country. And in all honesty, there was not one particular thing. It was a series of events, and the whole disaster of my sister’s relationship with Pax Donovan did nothing to help me.
“Hm. It wasn’t really one thing that made me leave New York, either. It was more…I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
I look at her for a moment. “Exactly.”
“Are you going to go back? To Montovia?”
“Perhaps. Perhaps not.” I take a step toward her, pulling her hand into mine. “But regardless of what I decide to do about my station or where I choose to go in the future, it changes nothing about this particular moment.”
Something in her expression softens, and she bites her bottom lip.
I lift her hand to my lips, placing a kiss on the back of her fingers before I look down into her eyes. “I want you with me.” I pause, gazing into her eyes. “That’s my answer. I want you with me.”
Clara
We return to the house hand in hand. I still have no idea what any of this means—much less where it’s going—but I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.
I’m still not sure Nick is, though. Whatever he says.
We find Princess Sophia and Pax in the living room. Sophia is perched on the edge of the couch, looking around the room with the quirk of a smile on her lips. Pax is fiddling with the fireplace, trying to get the logs to light.
“Hey,” Sophia says, bounding to her feet when she sees us. “You’re back.” Her eyes dart down to our clasped hands, and her smile broadens into a huge grin. “We’ve put all our stuff upstairs. Have you two eaten dinner yet? Is there somewhere in town we can go?”
“I think I saw a diner back there,” Pax says, sitting back on his heels. “Unless you’ve become an expert chef since the last time we saw each other, Nicky ‘Ol Boy.” Turning his grin toward me, he adds, “I hope this guy hasn’t been subjecting you to his cooking.”
“Just the opposite,” I say. “He must have an iron stomach to survive everything I’ve forced on him.”
Both Pax and Sophia laugh. Nick grumbles under his breath, but I’d swear there’s an amused glint in his eyes.
“The diner could be fun,” I say. “I haven’t had the chance to try it yet.”
But Nick shakes his head. “It’s too risky. Someone will recognize the two of you. I’ve managed to avoid any attention so far, and I’d like to continue that.”
Pax shrugs. “Who’d recognize us out here?”
“This might be a small town, but they aren’t completely disconnected from the rest of the world,” Nick says. “It’s not like you’ve done anything to disguise who you are.” He frowns at the other man’s arms of tattoos.
“That’s an easy fix. I’ll just borrow some of your clothes.” Pax grins. “Give me one of those flannel shirts and a cowboy hat and I guarantee no one will have any idea who I am.”
“And if Clara is willing,” Sophia pipes in, “I can borrow some of her clothes.”
“Sure,” I say. Honestly, it will be nice to get out of this house for a while.
Sophia turns to her brother. “We’ll be on our best behavior, I promise.” She grins at him in a mischievous way that I suspect got her whatever she wanted when she was younger.
Nick glances toward me, probably looking for help. I just shrug.
“I do really want to try the diner,” I tell him. “Unless you’re desperate for another one of my famous grilled cheese sandwiches.”
Nick sighs. “Fine. We can go to the diner. But if anyone blows my cover, you’re going to rue the day you came here.”
I can’t help it. I burst out laughing. “They’re going to ‘rue the day’? Wow, I was an idiot not to figure out the whole prince thing earlier, considering how often you say weird stuff like that.”
Nick’s jaw tightens.
“Come on,” I say, squeezing his hand and fighting down my giggles. “Let’s get these two some clothes.”
A short while later, the new arrivals look almost normal. Pax is wearing a pair of Nick’s jeans and a red-and-black patterned flannel shirt. He’s topped the whole thing off with a black cowboy hat, and I have to admit, I probably wouldn’t have recognized him as the lead singer of Twisted Throne if I didn’t already know better.
Sophia, on the other hand, is a little harder to disguise. She’s wearing some of my shorts and a light cotton shirt that ties just over her belly button. She put her hair in a braid, which helps some, but it’s hard to disguise the way she carries herself. And she’s had less time to practice an American accent than her brother has.
“I just won’t talk much,” she promises cheerfully.
Pax laughs, and Nick looks like he’s going to be sick. Apparently both of them know the likelihood of that happening.
Still, Nick doesn’t protest as we pile into the car and head into town.
I wasn’t lying when I said that I was looking forward to trying the diner. If I’m going to stay here a while, I should get to know the town a little better. Besides, I’ve been dying for a good cheeseburger.
A woman with the name Bernice stitched onto the breast of her lavender dress shows us to a booth right against the window. Nick and I slide in on one side, Pax and Sophia on the other.
“So,” Sophia says, smiling at me over her menu. “I want to hear more about you, Clara. Did you grow up on a ranch?” Her American accent is awful, but thankfully there’s no one else close enough to overhear her.
“No, actually this is my first time on a ranch.” There’s no point in hiding
the truth from her. “I grew up in New York. Up until recently I was the head of the marketing department at a big corporation.”
“What brings you out here, then?” she asks.
“I…just needed a change.” I don’t feel like going into the whole Adam thing right now. “Something different.”
“I get that.” Her eyes flick to Nick and then back to me. “I guess you and Nick must really understand each other.”
“Sophia,” Nick says, his voice carrying a warning. “There’s no need to interrogate Clara.”
“I’m not interrogating her,” she insists. “I’m just trying to get to know her. I’m excited! This is the first girl I’ve seen you care about since—” She cuts herself off abruptly, then drops her eyes to her menu.
“Since who?” Pax says. “You mean ‘Ol Nicky here has some sort of romantic drama in his past? That he’s not a virgin robot?”
“Drop it, Pax,” Sophia says quietly.
But the damage has already been done. I glance at Nick, and to my surprise, his face has gone white. His jaw is so rigid that I almost could believe he’s some sort of robot.
But I’m also insanely curious. Since who? What sort of romantic baggage does Nick have? I want to ask him, but I know I’m not going to get anything out of him now. Or possibly ever.
The waitress returns a few minutes later, and we all place our orders. She doesn’t even glance twice at Pax or Sophia, much to my relief. They must get enough through-traffic here for a few strangers not to warrant any special attention.
I can’t stop thinking about Nick’s past, though. I wonder if Sophia will tell me more if I get her alone. As much as I hate to admit it…I’m jealous, thinking about Nick with another woman. I know I have no right, considering I was supposed to get married to another man tomorrow, but…well, things have changed a lot in the last month.
“So,” I say, trying to divert my attention away from the thought of Nick with someone else, “what’s Montovia like?” That has to be a safe question.
But Nick immediately straightens and glances around. “We can’t talk about that here.”