“Oh, Lord help me,” he muttered as he dragged himself out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom, carefully holding his head in his hands.
Flipping on the overhead light, he winced as the light hit his eyes. Ever so gradually, he raised his head. It was a slow process. The sight that greeted him in the mirror hardly reassured him. Yep, he had one dandy of a shiner all right. His right eye was puffed and swollen, so that he could barely see out of it at all. Maybe his lack of vision was a blessing in disguise. What he saw out of his bloodshot left eye didn’t make him feel any better.
The area around his right eye was extremely dark with a smattering of dark purple thrown in. The scar that covered his left cheek seemed redder than usual, as he was a little pale this morning. That, coupled with the fact that he needed a shave and a haircut, made him look more than a little disreputable. He looked like he’d been on an all night bender. It wasn’t a pretty sight. He just hoped he hadn’t looked quite this bad last night.
Opening the medicine chest, he rooted around until he found a bottle of pain relievers he’d bought at the drugstore last week. Bottle in hand, he made his way to the kitchen, being careful not to bounce off the walls as he walked. His legs were wobbly as he staggered down the short hall. The floor felt cold on his bare feet, but he didn’t care. He didn’t turn on the light even though it was still dark outside. He didn’t think his poor head would survive any more light. All he wanted to do was to get some ice on his face and take a couple of pain pills.
It took him three tries to match up the little arrows on the childproof cap, but he finally managed to pop the top, extract, and swallow three of the little white pills. He ran some cold water into a glass and gulped it down while he leaned against the counter for balance. He rummaged around in the kitchen drawers until he found a clean dishtowel. Taking his time, he pulled some ice cubes from the freezer and wrapped them in the towel, making up a cold pack. That done, he made the trek back to bed.
Piling his pillows carefully under his aching head, he eased himself under the covers. He placed the cold pack on the right side of his face, flinching when the ice made contact with his abused flesh. It took him a few minutes, but when he was finally settled comfortably in bed, he realized that he was no longer sleepy.
Burke’s thoughts drifted back to the night before. Patrick sure had a nasty left hook, but that was okay. He was almost sure Patrick would have swollen knuckles this morning, so he considered them even. He hadn’t had an eye like this since he was a kid and fighting all those who taunted him about his poverty and promiscuous mother. He let those thoughts drift away, not wanting to think about those days, long gone.
As he lay in bed, nursing his swollen eye and pounding head, Burke contemplated how drastically his life had changed in the last few months. Six months ago, he was a shrewd businessman, always on the look out for the next big deal. Always one step ahead of the competition. That was what had made him so good at making money. He had always been able to read the trends and know where they were headed before anyone else. His last deal had been a company take-over that had netted him a cool fifteen million when he was through dividing the spoils and reselling the pieces.
Summed up like that, his life seemed pretty narrow. In retrospect, he realized that he hadn’t really enjoyed his money. Sure he had spent a lot of it on his home and his lifestyle, but he hadn’t really taken any pleasure in it. People never seemed to understand that it was the security the money represented, rather than the money itself, that he craved.
No doubt about it, six months ago, any one of his business associates would have said that Burke Black had the world by the tail. He had had it all. Money, power, and women.
Then it had all collapsed.
He had never really remembered all the details of the car crash that had changed his life. The police had told him that a drunk driver had run a red light and slammed into his vehicle as he’d proceeded through the intersection. All Burke could remember was the sudden impact. The knowledge that, suddenly, something was horribly wrong. Then came the pain.
It was the pain he remembered most of all. When he had finally come around, he was lying in a hospital bed with his face and head bandaged and his leg hoisted in a cast and pulley system. By then he welcomed the seemingly unending aching. It let him know he was still alive.
It had been a long three weeks before he was allowed to go home. Weeks filled with constant pain, like a toothache that never ended. His face and his leg were the worst, but in truth his whole body had sported large, ugly, bruises that had covered his legs, chest, arms, and back. It hurt to breathe, and sleep became a luxury that came only after he gave in to the nurses and took something strong enough to deaden the pain. He didn’t like having to give in to his weakened body, but was smart enough to know he’d never heal if he didn’t sleep.
His days had been filled with challenges. Things he’d taken for granted before. Just taking care of basic human needs was beyond him. He’d hated the fact that the nurses had had to shave and wash him. And the whole bathroom thing was an experience he didn’t want to repeat. After the first day, he’d hired a private male nurse, so he didn’t have to feel so uncomfortable asking for things that he needed.
Other than sleeping, eating, and following doctor’s orders, he hadn’t had much to do in the first week. He wasn’t able to work right away, and the problem with having that much time on his hands was that there was nothing to do but think. Since Burke had never done anything by half measures, he had thought a lot.
The lack of visitors had brought many truths home to him. Sure, some of his staff had called, and most of his business acquaintances had sent flowers, but he had not had one personal visitor. Only one member of his staff had come by and that was because Burke had requested it. It was a sad thing for a man to wake up at the age of thirty-five and realize that he had no friends. Even Scrooge had had Marley. Or at least Marley’s ghost.
Examining his life with an objective eye, if one can have an objective eye from a hospital bed, he had not liked what he had discovered. His life was extremely limited, very dull, and filled with an excess of shallow people. People much like himself, or rather, as he had been. Every day he was changing from the driven man he’d been.
He couldn’t quite figure out where his life had gone so wrong. He had always set goals for himself, and he had attained them. But somehow he hadn’t ended up where he had envisioned himself.
When he thought back to his childhood dreams, he admitted to himself that he had attained most of them. Growing up in an overcrowded and often uncaring big city, he had wanted the financial security that he had never had. He wanted a home that no one could take from him, enough food to eat, good clothes to wear, and money in his pocket. All of this, he had attained. What he hadn’t foreseen was his own loneliness.
Deep inside, he also had another dream. One he hadn’t allowed himself to think about in a long, long time. It was the dream of a family. His family. People who would care about him, a wife who would love him, and children. Children he would watch grow up. And he would love them as he hadn’t been loved in his childhood. Most people didn’t know how eager children were to love and be loved, but he did, and he wanted that kind of love with a fierce longing. The details of this dream hadn’t mattered as much as the feeling it brought him. He wanted the security of his own family. Somewhere along the years, this dream had gotten lost in the gritty everyday reality of building a financial empire.
This was the biggest source of his discontent when he had awakened after the accident. If he had died, what would have happened to all he had built? He had no family to leave it to. It would have been divided between charities after the government had taken its chunk. He had more than enough to live well for the rest of his life. So what was he making all the money for?
It was then and there that he had made the life-changing decision to sell it all and go away for awhile. He’d wanted to find somewhere quiet to rethink his life. He laughed out l
oud at the thought. Quiet. His life had been anything but quiet since his first meeting with Dani. If anything, for the first time in years, he felt alive.
Life was strange sometimes. Never in a million years would he have thought that something this good could come out of something as horrible as that accident. That aside, he never thought he’d be happy to have a black eye either, but he was. The shiner was a sign that he had a second chance with Dani and a second chance at maybe fulfilling some of his dreams.
Dani and her family were slowly changing him. At first he resisted it, comfortable with his cynicism and his loner ways. At home with being the way that he always had been. He found himself evolving, keeping those parts of him that still served him, but opening himself enough to grow as well. Just the fact that Dani’s feelings mattered to him was a revelation. It meant he really was changing. And change, no matter how much we may want it, is never comfortable.
Burke opened his eyes slowly. He was feeling more like himself now. Not great, but he would live. The sun was just starting to come up, and he was suddenly glad to just be alive.
If being in business had taught him one thing, it was to take advantage of his opportunities. With that in mind, he figured he had time to take a shower, then head over to Dani’s and take her out for a New Year’s Day breakfast. That is, if he could find somewhere open in Jamesville on New Year’s Day.
…
Dani rested in bed, tucked under her down-filled comforter, and watched the sun come up. How different from yesterday this day was dawning. If she hadn’t awoke still fully dressed, she might have thought that she had dreamed it all.
She still had a hard time believing that the man in the rumpled tuxedo last night was Burke. It was almost surreal that he had turned up just past the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve, ready to fight if necessary, in order to get a second chance with her. It was like something out of a romance novel. Things like that didn’t happen to ordinary people like her.
Yet it had.
Burke had come to her on bended knee and apologized for everything he had said and done. He had easily passed off the punch Patrick had thrown. Nothing had seemed to matter to him last night, but her.
Dani sighed. Maybe she was an idiot, but she couldn’t give up. She wouldn’t. She loved Burke, for better or for worse, and she had already been through the for worse part. Dani also knew she couldn’t go through that again. She would give him a second chance, but this time she would proceed with caution. They would take things slowly. Burke had agreed to this, and she had taken him at his word.
Life was strange and could change in a single moment or with a chance encounter. It was ironic that Cynthia had been not only the cause of their first meeting, but had also played a part in their problems. Dani and Cynthia had lived in the same town their whole lives, but their lives had really never intersected before.
A few weeks ago, she was happy in her life with her work and her family. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but she had been content. Now her dreams stirred in her head. Dreams from her childhood. Dreams of a husband and a home and family. Dreams she thought she had put to rest. Or had she just let them die?
Only time would tell what would happen between her and Burke, but she cautiously allowed herself to hope. And with each moment of hope, her dreams taunted her. Maybe, she thought, maybe a life filled with a husband and children would come true. It was a good way to start the New Year. It was a time for hopes and dreams. It was, indeed, a time of new beginnings.
Her only regret from last night was that she didn’t remember Burke carrying her up to bed. He must have or she would still be downstairs on the sofa. It could have been Patrick, but she didn’t think so. She had a vague memory of being carried, and the arms around her had felt like Burke’s.
She didn’t know when he left, but he had held her until she had fallen asleep. That she was sure of. Her last conscious memory was of being held in Burke’s lap as they talked. The secure feeling of being held tight in his arms, the smell of his cologne in the air, the feel of his suit jacket against her cheek, and the murmur of his voice in her ear.
Dani smiled. It was time to rise and shine. With any luck, Burke might find his way over here for breakfast. If not breakfast, then definitely supper. Either way, she needed to get a shower and wash away the grubby feeling that came from sleeping in her day clothes.
She was still smiling when she stepped under the hot shower spray. Yes indeed, this was a good way to start the New Year.
Chapter Ten
The month of January passed in a blur of happiness for Burke. Dani and her family constantly amazed him. They had promised him a second chance, and they delivered. There had been no snide remarks about what he had done and no sly innuendoes that he owed them for the hurt he had caused.
He had returned to the O’Rourke house the next morning with the intention of taking Dani out to breakfast at Jessie’s Diner. Instead, he had eaten bacon, eggs, and homemade biscuits, all cooked to perfection by Dani. Later that day, he had joined the family as they dismantled the Christmas tree. To his delight, taking down the tree was as enjoyable as erecting it had been.
It was both fascinating and amusing to watch the family interacting with one another. Dani bossed the boys around, directing them on what to put where and admonishing them to be careful. Patrick and Shamus just rolled their eyes and laughed while carrying out their assigned roles. It quickly became obvious that the good-natured teasing and taunting were as much a part of the yearly ritual as the packing away of the decorations was. Burke found that he laughed along with them as they removed ornaments and wrapped them under Dani’s watchful eyes.
While Patrick dragged the tree out to the curb for the town council to pick up later in the week for recycling, he and Shamus muscled the boxes back into their storage space for another year. Dani was a whirlwind of vacuuming and dusting until everything was back to normal in the living room. They’d spent the afternoon watching an old movie on the television while sneaking peaks at the various football games.
They finished the evening with a vegetable casserole and a vegetable salad. When Patrick asked if they were turning vegetarian, Dani had just laughed and said that she had recently come into a large supply of formerly frozen vegetables. They had all laughed then. No further reference was made to the disagreement between Burke and Patrick. They had all put it behind them and were ready to build on their tentative truce.
…
Since then, he had spent as much time with Dani in the last month as he could. She was back to her regular schedule of work, and he had to spend so much time every day keeping track of his investments and his money. That was a habit he wasn’t going to break. He still wanted to make the most of his money until he decided what he wanted to do next with his life.
They were learning things about each other in every moment they spent together. Couple things. He had recently discovered that Dani hated nuts of any kind, and yet she liked smooth peanut butter. She now knew that he hated nutritious cereals but had a weakness for the sugarcoated kind. For the first time in his life, Burke was actually dating. The kind of dating one usually did in high school or college, and the kind he had missed.
He found himself doing things he had never done before. The O’Rourke family had taken him to a local hockey game. He had never followed the sport, but found himself enjoying the action. The most fun had been watching Dani as she screamed and shouted with the rest of the fans when her team scored or the referee made a call against them. She looked so cute wearing her team jersey, and he cuddled her to keep her warm. They shared steaming French fries and ice cold sodas and returned home in triumph as their team won by a score of six to two.
The people from his old life would never have recognized this Burke Black. The man they had known had been tough, cold, and ruthless. His only concerns in life had been making money and ensuring that no one could get close enough to him to hurt him in any way. This new Burke Black actually smiled and laughed, and alt
hough he was still making money, it was no longer the sole focus of his life.
Dani was a big part of his life now, and she had the power to make him happy or to hurt him. Emotionally, she was closer to him than he had ever allowed anyone to be. Sometimes the whole idea of giving someone else that kind of power over him scared him, but the alternative, a life without Dani, was more frightening.
Although their time together had been wonderful, always lurking in the back of his mind was their past. They had never discussed what had happened on or before New Year’s Eve. It was if they had decided to wipe the slate clean and start over, and neither one of them wanted to upset their tentative new happiness by bringing up the past.
Burke had seen Cynthia around town once or twice, and every time he saw her, he wondered how strong was the bond he and Dani were building. Could their relationship survive another test? He wasn’t sure. He also knew that these thoughts, though unspoken, had passed through Dani’s mind as well. The look she got in her eye sometimes when someone mentioned Cynthia in casual conversation. They both had worries, but both were trying hard to live in the now and hopefully build a long-term relationship.
…
“How did Shamus do in his math test?” Burke asked Dani as she slid into a comfortable corner booth at Jessie’s Diner.
It was the first time he had taken her out to dinner, as she usually insisted that they eat at the O’Rourke house. They all took turns cooking, and even he had tried his hand at it. But he had finally insisted on taking her out to eat. It marked a new stage in their relationship.
They certainly hadn’t been hiding the fact that they were seeing each other, but there was something about dining out together for the evening meal that had people looking at them like they were a couple. Dani knew that people watched their every move, while pretending not to.
Discovering Dani Page 9