by Heath Pfaff
"What about you, Lowin? You stand here before me, defying my will, when you yourself are just another symbol of what is wrong with humanity. You have chased your daughter across the world, allowing people to die so that you can save one life. You took money the people needed to recover from the war, and used it to build ships to get here, and you bankrupted your own kingdom just to get one last strike in at Lord Lheec. What of Brutal? Did he deserve to die?
"No, Lowin, humanity is already dead. It is just waiting for me to come and sweep it away and start fresh. Wasn't this country beautiful as you passed through it, Lowin? Wasn't it peaceful, and calm? That is what the world will be like when I'm done. There will be blood and death along the way, but when it's over, there will be serenity and peace."
Never before had words pierced me so deeply. Whether they were magically weighted, or simply perfectly aimed, I felt them like deep wounds. His examples were perfect. In each situation I could see the evil of man, laid bare for me to look at. We were a terrible menace, humanity.
Laouna's smile flashed through my mind, and I looked down at my daughter's face. They were beautiful, wonderful people. I loved them dearly. The world was full of other people like them, and those people had others that they loved. Humanity was ugly and disgusting sometimes, but there was good in it as well. I remembered holding Malice in the dark, and the feel of her skin against mine. I remembered the innocent smile of Kye, so long dead, and I remembered the stern face of Wisp as she'd scolded me for not being a good father to Kay.
There was too much good in humanity to let it all die. I would not be the harbinger of the death of humanity. I bent down and kissed my daughter's cheek.
"I love you, Kay." I whispered into her ear. I felt warmth flow into me. Somehow, I knew she heard me. I flashed forward, hoping that I would not be condemning us all to a terrible death.
The world slowed around me as I pulled at every resource of speed and strength I had at my disposal. I had never moved so quickly before. I reached the woman first, with her single set of shadowlyn eyes. I could see the male jumping backwards. He was faster, but the female body had no chance. I tore her in half with two vicious lashes, and she fell to the ground, writhing and gurgling on her own blood. The Hungering mass surged forward, but I did not slow. I charged at the four-eyed male.
He brought up a sword and deflected my first strike.
"What will you do, kill me? Even with these fully bonded bodies it will only take me a year or two to break free from the flesh. When I come back, I will hunt down and kill everyone you love, Lowin. I will start with your daughter." His voice rang through the void of speed, as though his words were aimed directly at my mind. I had no time to look, but I knew the other Knights would be fighting as well.
I ignored the shadowlyn's taunt and attacked again. He was fast, and skilled. His blade whirled and twisted perfectly through patterns I'd never seen before. He had thousands of years of experience in his mind. I would dodge a strike, only to find that it was a feint, and I needed to dive off my center of balance. He was not fighting to kill, I realized, after three such moves. He was buying time, and I knew that time was exactly what I did not have. The Hungering would be wearing down Malice and the others. I had to kill the beast with the smoking eyes.
Our fight continued with me constantly pressing in for a kill, and the shadowlyn continually turning my strikes aside, and offering counter blows of his own, but he would not strike to kill me. He would not even strike to cause me serious harm, though the openings for him to do so were many, I knew. I could sense every time my guard slipped too low, and knew, each time, that death was only a flick of the creature's wrist away from me. In every instance the shadowlyn backed down, refusing to take the opening. He would fight me until my friends were dead, and I could no longer resist his advance, and then I would have nothing left to do but to hear him out, and either give him what he wanted, or lose my daughter and everything else. I could not allow the situation to fall back into that corner.
I glanced over my shoulder long enough to see the others fighting a harrowing battle against the hordes of Hungering warriors. They were being overwhelmed by sheer numbers, a magnitude of enemies that that they could not hope to turn aside no matter how well they fought. How long before one of my companions was killed? How long before Malice was struck down? I could not allow that to happen. A plan formed in my mind.
The shadowlyn feinted with a thrust, a blow that even the weakest trainee swordsman would be able to avoid. I saw the feint, but instead of retreating as my common sense told me to do, and falling away so as to avoid the follow up blow, I pushed myself forward with everything I could muster. The shadowlyn saw my intent too late. I felt the sword point pierce through my upper torso, skimming my heart, and ripping through my left lung and out through the back of my left shoulder blade. Now I was too close for my enemy to escape, and his weapon was tied up beyond his ability to retrieve it. I grabbed the shadowlyn with my white furred hand, picking him up by the neck. I squeezed with all my strength.
"You fool!" His voice screamed through the void of speed. I ignored him and kept squeezing, though his hands clawed at my arms in desperation. "I will kill everything that means something to you. You will suffer beyond imagining for this!" His voice growled through my mind, dark and menacing, the scream of a creature whose rage was a beast unto itself. I did not relent. The muscles in my arm strained, my hand tightened, and then his spine snapped and the flesh of his neck tore away under my grip. His body fell away in two pieces, head and torso. I collapsed to my knees, wheezing with every breath.
The shadowlyn was dead again.
I struggled back to my feet, grabbing the sword and tearing it from my chest. I felt my body healing the damage even as I stumbled back to the stone slab on which Kay lay. I had never suffered so severe a wound before, but as I felt the flesh knitting back together, I knew I would recover. All around me, the burning red eyes of the Hungering shifted to blue. The creatures turned and walked away, suddenly uninterested in the events happening before them. My companions, who had just been involved in a struggle for their very lives, found themselves poised for battle in the midst of an enemy that no longer seemed to notice they were even there. Malice ran over to Kay, and stood over her, a look of confusion on her face. I leaned on the dais, my blood pooling around my elbow. I felt weak. Even though I was healing, the wound was severe.
"Kay." I called my daughter's name as I took a hold of her arm. She did not reply. Her breathing had become more rapid, and a sheen of sweat was on her skin. She felt far away. I felt the edges of my wound knitting closed. "Kaylien." I said her name again, but she did not open her eyes. How much life had I taken from her so far? How much remained to her?
"I know this girl." I heard Malice say. "I know her, Lowin."
I nodded. "This is our little girl. We raised her together, with Wisp. Though you and Wisp are the two who really raised her. I was not a very good father." I reached to my pack and cut the straps from it with my claws, letting it fall to the slab in front of me. I knew what I needed to do next. The other Knights had gathered around. Tower and Silver were both bleeding from several wounds, but Malice and Snow seemed tired but unharmed. They were phenomenal fighters. I could think of no better people to leave my daughter with.
"Oh. . ." Malice said, and I saw light dawning on her face. "I remember her. I remember holding her and I remember. . . Lucidil took her away from us. I. . ." Her words faded, and I could tell she was struggling through her memories. I wasn't going to interrupt her. I had something I had to do.
I reached for the pouch that had the blue crystal in it. My fingers found it readily, shaking in anticipation of what I must do next. I felt frayed fabric. There was a jagged rip across the bottom. Panic bit into me as I unfastened the tie to the pouch and reached inside. It was empty. I staggered backwards.
"No. . ." I said, and fell to my knees, searching the ground. It must have fallen out when the sword pierced me, cut by the
blade as it went by. Realization struck, with desperation following soon after. The sword hadn't pierced there. When could I have ripped my pack, how many miles of road lay between myself and the place where I'd lost the crystal?
"I have it, here." I turned as I heard Snow's voice. She was standing with the blue crystal in one hand. She had a knife in the other. "I took it when I bumped into you earlier. I'm sorry, Lowin. I knew you'd worry. . . I didn't know your daughter was the one. . . I had no idea. I wasn't going to let you die. I couldn't. . ." Her pink and black eyes shone with tears.
"Give me the crystal, Snow." I reached out my hand, relief flooding through me. I could still save Kay. That euphoria I experience as I realized I might still serve one last cause clouded my perception. I saw Snow, but I did not really see her. Perhaps I never had really seen her.
Snow took a step backwards. "No, Lowin. I'm sorry, but I love you. I know what you plan to do, and I can't let you." There was a blur as her hand accelerated, and then she dropped to her knees, blood gushing from her chest. I flew to my feet and charged across the distance between us even as I saw the hand holding the crystal thrust up towards the fresh wound. I was not nearly fast enough. All the power in my body could not move me with any more agility, though I would have given anything at that moment just to have started moving a second sooner. An explosion of blue light tore through the air, rippling out from Snow's body. I saw the pink and black eyes go dark, like two shimmering coals, and then the wave hit me with such force that I was knocked to the ground.
"Snow!" Tower's voice cut the air, one of the most pained sounds I'd ever heard. The Knight of white fur slumped the rest of the way to the ground and lay terribly still.
"Daddy. . ." A weak voice sounded from behind me.
Let me start the beginning of the end, the way I ended the beginning - with a burial. We buried Snow in the woods not far outside the cave of the Hungering. We were too far from home to do anything more for her. Time wasn't something we had in quantity, but we took some anyway. I found a suitable headstone after a great deal of searching. It was a white, crystalline rock. Together with Tower, Silver, and Malice we carved and worked the rock to pay Snow the respect she so well deserved. The stone bore the inscription:
Snow,
she was our song.
In the morning, in the light,
no more worries, no more fright.
Eyes shut softly, peace and calm,
no more troubles, night has gone.
It was foolishly sentimental, but I couldn't think of anything more poetic to write. That song of hers has never left me. I will teach it to Kay some day, and I'm sure she will teach it to her children. Perhaps Snow had siblings of her own that also will carry on that sad tune. In the end, I really knew very little about the woman who had spent so long fighting at my side. I'm still ashamed of that.
I will never forget all those who died to bring my daughter back to me, and as many of them as I knew, I've recorded in these pages. The countless members of the black cloaks who died weigh heavily upon me still. So few of them will ever have a name, and yet they gave so much. I know I have forever lost my chance to make things right with the dead. I most regret the way I treated Snow towards the end of her life. I never completely forgave her betrayal, and in the end she gave everything for my happiness. What harm would those words have done me? "I forgive you." What harm? What a fool I am, and always have been.
Tower left shortly after we finished burying Snow. I don't know where he went, or what his intentions were, but he took his sword and departed. I fear the worst for him. When Snow gave her life, I believe it broke something in that young Knight. I have not seen him since, and I don't know if I ever will again.
We took the two bodies of the shadowlyn, and put them into boxes we crafted from the elaborately designed wood of the creature's fallen city, much as Orthisius and Reamis had done long before us. With the help of Silver and Malice, I took the bodies and cast them into the broken traveler's gate, Telistera's ghost ring, that had beckoned me so strongly when first I'd encountered it. It still called to me. Getting close enough to throw the boxes in was a harrowing experience. They tumbled through the air and vanished at some invisible point just before the beginning of the stone entry way. I don't know where they've gone, but I hope it's some place from which they will never return.
I don't know who is worse, in the end, the shadowlyn or me. Every accusation it had made was true. I had done terrible things over the course of my life. I hope I will need do no more.
I am a monster. I wasn't born as such, but I became one. I hope that someday I can find my soul again in the love of Laouna, and my daughter, Kay. If there is any hope for man, it is in the hearts of those who would love him despite all of his many failings. That is where I'll continue to search for myself.
LAOUNA~
Lowin wanted me to write an ending for his book. He says, "If we don't tell this story, who else will?" Sometimes I look at the man he has become and it scares me. He is so strong and dangerous. I get scared, but then I remember how tenderly he holds me, and how soft his voice is when he speaks to Kay, and I know that I have nothing to be afraid of.
I've recovered most of my memories, but I don't think I'm the same person I was when I first met Lowin. I can smile. I remember the terrible burden of loneliness I carried. I don't feel that anymore. Kay chases out any such illusions with her warm smiles and her quick laughter. She reminds me of her mother, Kye, and I can say that without feeling any jealousy. I once was very jealous of Kyeia, but she was a good woman. Kay will be a good woman too. She has her father's stubbornness, but her mother's subtle strength. I love her very much.
I'm pregnant. It's a terrifying experience, but Lowin is excited, and Kay is hoping for a little brother. I never thought I'd find myself in this kind of situation, but I'm not unhappy. Is Malice really a good name for a mother? I asked Lowin, and he smiled and said that it was one of his favorite names, so of course it was. That made me happy.
We're living with the black cloaks. We had feared that they died, but we stumbled upon their village not long after we disposed of the body of the shadowlyn. A great many of them did perish in the storm, and on the vicious rocks, but all the females survived, and a fair number of the males, including Liet. They welcomed us with open arms when we found them. With their help we've built a cabin for ourselves and another for Silver, who has stayed with us the entire time.
I don't think we'll ever leave this land. There is too much to lose, and nothing to gain. Kay has had trouble with her memory, but she remembers us. She remembers Wisp too, and the day that Wisp was killed. Those memories trouble her, as well as the memories of Lucidil, and being turned over to the Hungering. She still tosses and turns with terrible nightmares. Other than that, she is a wonderful, bright girl.
Lowin smiles a lot. I remember most of my time with him, and he's never smiled as much as he does now. I know he misses our friends, and that he carries a lot of guilt over all that has happened, but Snow was right. He does deserve some happiness. I'm glad that we've finally found it.