She threw back the covers and jumped quickly out of bed, pulling her thick jumper over her head as she did so. As she emerged into the main part of the caravan, she became aware of a delicious smell of coffee and bacon. Gideon was standing at the stove, wearing only a T-shirt and boxers again—Abi wished he wouldn’t keep doing that. He was busy making breakfast. Two steaming cups of coffee were sitting on the worktop, and the kitchen area was full of smoke. Abi grinned and coughed.
“You’re gonna set the fire alarm off in a minute,” she said with a laugh, picking up a coffee and taking a sip. “Mmmmm, nice coffee. Thanks.”
She carried it into the living area away from the tantalising sight of his near-naked body, curled up on her favourite seat, and stared out the window at the wheeling gulls and pounding surf. The day was very overcast, clearly threatening rain, and Abi wrinkled her nose with distaste.
“Hmm, maybe no walk to Worm’s Head today,” she said sadly. “I think it’s going to pour in a minute.”
Gideon appeared around the corner, carrying two large plates of bacon and eggs. He deposited one on Abi’s lap.
“There you go. See? I’m not totally useless,” he said proudly, sitting down with his own plate on the floor next to the fire.
“If you’re cold, why don’t you put more clothes on?” said Abi with a sniff. Gideon grinned at her, and got stuck into his breakfast.
“Shall we just stay in and play games and stuff today?” he asked between mouthfuls.
Abi shrugged. “May as well. Don’t really fancy braving the weather. Nice to watch it from here, though.” She scraped the last of her egg off the plate and put it to one side. “We can always go to Worms Head tomorrow.”
Gideon watched her as she sipped her coffee and gazed out the window. Her sleep-tangled hair fell around her shoulders, and her bare feet with their blue-painted toenails were tucked underneath her. Gideon had always liked her feet. Even as a teenager she had painted her toenails. Never her fingernails, just the toes. He liked that. He got to his feet with a grunt. Abi turned and gave a little giggle.
“You getting old?” she asked. “Getting out of breath carrying the shopping, and now grunting when you stand up—you sound like an old man.” She paused, and her eyes glinted. “I suppose you are nearly thirty. Middle age approaches!” Then she squeaked as he bent down, picked her up in his arms, and carried her to the caravan door. He kicked it open with his foot and held her just outside in the misty air.
“One more comment from you, young lady,” he said, “ and you go outside, bare feet and all, and I lock the door.”
Abi squeaked again and buried her face in his chest, all the while clinging round his neck as tightly as she could.
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it. Please put me down.”
He began to lower her down outside the caravan.
“Inside, inside!” she yelled into his chest.
Gideon laughed and backed into the caravan, hooking the door shut with his foot. He dumped her unceremoniously back on the floor and stood looking down at her.
“Getting old, my foot!” he said in disgust. “You’re looking at a man in his prime. A perfect specimen of manhood.” He squatted down next to her. “I get followed by hordes of screaming girls, everywhere I go.”
Abi leaned towards him and grinned.
“Yes, but why are they screaming?” she asked cheekily, then scrambled to her feet and ran into her bedroom before he could catch her.
She threw herself down on the bed and buried her face in the pillow. Gideon’s proximity was beginning to drive her mad. She had to admit to herself she had never stopped loving him, and it was becoming clearer to her every minute she had never stopped desiring him, either. She rolled onto her side and propped her head up with her hand. She really hoped he felt the same, but they’d been apart for so long she felt they needed to get to know each other from scratch. Holding hands on the beach the day before had been nice, and she had to admit that when he’d picked her up to throw her outside she had experienced a real thrill of desire.
She sat up and hugged her knees, resting her chin on them. They really ought to talk more about the last ten years before they allowed themselves to get any closer. She nodded to herself, then jumped up and pulled on her clothes. Since they were planning on staying in for the day, she chose a bright red jumper, a short black denim skirt, and black woolly tights. She accessorised with a glittery red-and-silver scarf and a collection of bangles on her wrist before she brushed her hair and fastened it behind her ears with a couple of hair grips. Then she took a deep breath and returned to the living area.
Gideon had also got dressed, in ripped jeans and a faded navy NightHawk T-shirt, but his feet were still bare. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the fire, setting up a game of Connect 4. Abi gasped when she saw it.
“Where on earth did you find that?” she demanded, her face paling slightly.
Gideon frowned at her. “In the cupboard where you found the Scrabble,” he said. “Why? What’s wrong?”
Abi stared down at the game, her stomach doing somersaults.
“Erm…nothing.” She shook her head and turned to go and stand looking out over the bay, her arms wrapped tightly around her body. After a moment she became aware of Gideon’s hot breath on her neck. She sat down on the seat abruptly, still looking out the window.
“Abi, what is it? You’ve gone really pale.” Gideon sounded concerned, and Abi forced herself to look up at him.
“It’s really silly…” She hesitated, then took a deep breath. “When I was packing to go to the clinic to have the baby, Judy put Connect 4 in my bag. She thought I could play it after the birth. We had a laugh about it, and she took it out. But now whenever I see the game I’m reminded of that day.” She bent her head forward but her hair could not escape from its clips and her face remained visible. Gideon dropped to his knees in front of her and took her hands in his.
“Oh, Abi, I’m sorry,” he murmured softly.
Abi shook her head. “It’s not your fault…” she began, but he squeezed her hands to stop her.
“No, not sorry for that. Sorry I wasn’t there for you. Sorry I never got your letters. Sorry you didn’t get mine. Sorry about everything that happened back then.” He put his hand under her chin and turned her face to him. “Abi, when did you find out you were pregnant? Was it before I left?”
Abi looked at him sadly. “I thought I was,” she admitted, “but I didn’t do the test till the next day.”
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” he demanded. “Then maybe none of this would’ve happened!”
Abi’s eyes filled with tears, and she pulled her hand away from his.
“I know,” she whispered. “I know. I’ve thought of that nearly every day since. But I was terrified it’d scare you off.” She stopped for a moment as she saw his face. “I know, that was probably the most stupid thing I’ve ever done. I was pretty good at doing stupid things in those days. I never thought before I acted, don’t you remember?”
Gideon got to his feet and pulled Abi to hers, then guided her over to where the gas fire was flickering merrily, and made her sit on the floor. He sat opposite her and took her hands again.
“I’m sure you know I would have stood by you,” he said gently. “And at least you did tell me in the letters. No wonder you thought I’d been scared off when I didn’t seem to reply.” He put up a hand and brushed a strand of hair off her face. “You must’ve gone through hell, and with no one to support you.”
She looked up at him and sniffed. “I had Judy.”
Gideon nodded. “Well, thank goodness for that, at least. But she was a sixteen-year-old girl. She didn’t really know any more than you.” He was silent for a moment. Then he looked her directly in the eyes. “Abi, didn’t it strike you as odd that they wouldn’t let you see the baby?”
Abi sighed. “Yes,” she said simply. “But at the time I was so upset, and so tired, that I just gave
in to whatever they said. I’d lost my fight. Then it wasn’t until much, much later—years, in fact—that I was really able to sit down and think through what happened, and I realised it was all rather strange. By then, though, I’d severed all contact with my parents and didn’t want to stir up all the old pain by going back to confront my mother.” She sighed again. “I was a coward.”
Gideon frowned. “You were a child,” he said firmly. “I’m not surprised you gave up. But what did Judy or her mum say about the baby?”
Abi looked uncomfortable. “I didn’t tell them I never held her. Not for years, but then I eventually told Judy. They assumed I’d said goodbye to her properly, and I just let them think that. I was ashamed I hadn’t, but I didn’t know what I could do about it.” She looked at him, a tear trickling down her cheek. “I didn’t talk about any of it for ages, even to Judy.”
Gideon let go of her hands and sat back on his heels.
“They took advantage of you,” he said at last. “They took advantage of your youth and the fact you thought you’d been abandoned…” He stopped and frowned. “And all the time your mother was hiding my letters. She knew I hadn’t abandoned you, yet she let you suffer like that.” He leaned forward again and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his finger. “I’m amazed she managed to keep you from finding the post when it arrived.”
Abi frowned. “I’ve been wondering about that, too,” she said slowly. “During the week it must have been fairly easy, ’cause I was at school, and the post comes around midday, but weekends were harder. In the summer holidays, I had a job for quite a lot of the time, but still, some of them must have arrived when I was home.” She stretched out her legs and wiggled her feet in front of the fire. “Maybe she—” She clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, my god! I know how she did it. Aunty Margaret worked at the post office in town. She could have asked her to keep our mail to one side and then give it directly to her! Could she have done that?” She turned burning eyes on him.
Gideon looked doubtful. “That sounds a bit illegal,” he said, “but I suppose it’s technically possible. Would your aunt have gone along with it?”
Abi nodded. “Oh, yes, she’s a dreadful woman. Mum would’ve told her I was getting mail from some undesirable person, and Aunty Margaret would have done what she said. My mother was a bully,” she added darkly. “It wasn’t just me she was nasty to. She didn’t really like anyone. She seemed to be able to manipulate people to do what she wanted.”
“She certainly must have had some control over that clinic you went to,” Gideon said thoughtfully. “What you’ve told me doesn’t sound like normal behaviour after a baby dies. How did she get all the nurses to go along with it?”
Abi sighed. “Well, the doctor and the senior nurse were a married couple and owned the clinic. My mother seemed to know them already. There was a lovely nurse called Sally who looked after me to begin with, but she suddenly disappeared before I had the baby. They told me her shift had ended and she had gone home. She never said goodbye. She was going to ring Judy for me,” she added sadly. “Apart from them, there was no one else there that night. There was another nurse in the morning, but not at the time I gave birth.” She stared at him in despair. “I think I was really stupid. I let them walk all over me. I should have demanded to see the baby and not stopped until they let me.”
Gideon put his hands on her shoulders and shook her slightly.
“You mustn’t blame yourself,” he said firmly. “The state you must have been in afterwards… They were very much in the wrong.” He looked serious. “I wonder why they wouldn’t let you see her?”
“They said it would make it harder for me. I guess I believed them at the time. I felt so bad I just wanted to die anyway. Nothing seemed to matter any more. Looking back, it might have made it easier.”
Gideon stared intently at her and frowned.
“I doubt anything could have made it easier,” he said darkly. “God, I wish I’d been there. To think of you going through all that on your own…” He grasped her hands tightly in his and pulled her close. “It wouldn’t have made the outcome any better, but at least we’d have been able to face it together.”
Abi raised her head and nodded.
“I wouldn’t have felt so alone,” she whispered. “With you there, I could have coped better. You wouldn’t have let them bully me.” A solitary tear rolled down her cheek, and Gideon raised a finger and gently wiped it away.
“I certainly wouldn’t,” he agreed grimly, staring over her head, his eyes dark with emotion. “Things would have been very different had I been there.”
Abi leaned forward and gently rested her head against his shoulder.
“I wish we could turn the clock back,” she whispered. “Get rid of the last ten years. Make everything better.”
Gideon put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her upright.
“Nice idea,” he said with a wry grin, looking down at her. “But at least we’re together now. Better than nothing, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Abi sniffed and rubbed a hand across her face. “Yeah, it’s definitely better than nothing.”
An awkward silence fell, and Abi shifted her position, pulling back from Gideon and smoothing her hair with her hands.
“I’ll make some tea, shall I?” she suggested, moving rapidly across the room to the kitchen area. “And we could have biscuits too…or cake? Do you want cake?”
Gideon gave a low chuckle. “I don’t actually want tea,” he said in amusement, watching her hurried movements. “But if you insist, cake would be nice.” He sat back on the window seat and glanced out at the driving rain. “Glad we didn’t go for a walk.”
Abi flicked the kettle on, noisily got some mugs out of the cupboard, and delved into a box to find some cake. She kept her back to Gideon while she worked, her mind a complete mess of emotions. With slightly shaky hands, she managed to pour the tea and cut two pieces of cake, then carried them over to the window seat. Gideon turned to her and smiled.
“Come on, sit down, and let’s talk of other things,” he suggested, taking a cup from her. “Tell me about your jobs.”
Abi gave a shaky laugh. “Oh, sure, you want to hear about my boring jobs, when you’ve spent the last ten years touring the world as a rock star? You’d be asleep in seconds,” she said, sitting down beside him. “D’you fancy looking at some of the old photos I found of us? Remember Judy’s New Year’s Eve party? There’s some from then.”
She dropped to her knees on the floor and pulled one of the cardboard boxes out from under the table. Suddenly a vision of the tin box her father had given her popped into her mind. She sat back on her heels and spoke to Gideon over her shoulder.
“The tin box. The tin box Dad gave me. Maybe we should open that? I’m sure there’s something important in it. Why else would he have given it to me?”
“What did he say about it?”
“Nothing, but he was very insistent that I take it and keep it. He said he’d lost the key but that I should be able to get into it.” She paused to think a moment. “I think he knows what’s in it. Shall we open it now?”
Gideon made a face. “Is this the one Judy said not to open?”
“Yes, but Judy can’t possibly know what’s in it. I don’t know why she said that. Shall we?”
“Maybe you should text Judy first?” Gideon said cautiously.
Abi shook her head. “No, there’s no way Judy could know what’s in it,” she said firmly, sounding very much like the Abi that Gideon remembered from ten years before. “It’s my box, and I want to open it.”
He took a deep breath and then gave a slight nod.
“Okay, then, let’s do it. Where is it?” he asked, looking around.
“In my room.” Abi got to her feet and went to fetch it.
Gideon got up from the floor and walked to the window. The tide was half way out, and the beach was full of gulls, some wheeling above and some picking amongst the shells on the san
d. He closed his eyes briefly, then turned back into the room and watched as Abi carried the tin box in and put it in the middle of the floor. They both looked at it.
“Now what do we do?” asked Abi.
“I think your little screwdriver would be a good place to start,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows. Abi nodded and delved into her bag to find it. Just as she triumphantly held it aloft, there came a tentative knock at the caravan door. They looked at each other.
“Are you expecting anyone?” asked Abi in surprise.
Gideon stared at her. “Expecting anyone?” he said in amazement. “We’re supposed to be in hiding. Of course I’m not expecting anyone.”
They both looked at the door as a light tap sounded again. Abi hesitated a moment, then walked over to the door and opened it a crack. The teenaged boy who had served them in the shop the day before was standing there. She opened the door wider and smiled at him.
“Hello. Can I help you?” she said pleasantly. The boy swallowed noisily, then reached out to his right and pulled a girl with dark brown wavy hair into view. She was about fifteen, very pretty and wearing jeans, a puffy anorak, and a bobble hat. She smiled shyly at Abi.
“Do you… I mean this is… Um, can we…” The boy was miserably unable to formulate a complete sentence but stared beseechingly at Abi.
She grinned in comprehension. “This is your, sister…girlfriend…cousin?” she hazarded, “and you’re wondering if she could possibly meet Gideon, even though you said you wouldn’t tell anyone we’re here?” The boy looked about to speak, then nodded mutely. Abi laughed and held the door open for them to enter. “So long as she’s the only one you’ve told?” she added, frowning.
Storm Rising Page 24