by Eva Harper
“Don’t tell me what I mean or don’t mean,” I said pointedly but calm, looking away from his intense gaze. “I’m allowed to feel however I want to about this.”
“I know that.” He shuffled around, trying to seem calm. “But this isn’t the worst thing that could have happened to you.”
“You don’t know that. You’ve never been a human, Theo.”
“And you’ve never been a werewolf until now, and you’re not even giving it a chance.”
“Giving it a chance?” I chuckled, shaking my head in disbelief. “I shouldn’t have to give it a chance. I shouldn’t be this.”
“But you are,” he argued. “And I’m sorry that you hate it this much already, but you could also be dead and buried in the ground right now. So I’d say that’s a victory.”
“It’s not,” I sniffled. “It’s not a victory. This,” I gestured to my body. “Is not a victory. I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what I am anymore.”
“You’re still Margo,” he breathed.
“I don’t feel like myself.” My voice was tight. “I feel like the last thing tying me to my parents is gone.”
“I didn’t mean to make you feel like that,” Theo said, sitting beside me on the bed. We both stared down.
“You’ll never understand what it’s like to be a human,” I said, shaking my head slightly. “You’ll never get it. You were born this way.”
“You’re right,” he said, surprising me. “But I know what it’s like to lose a parent, and I can’t imagine if my mom was gone, too. I don’t know what I would do, but I know that I wouldn’t want to die because of it.”
“I don’t want to die,” I seethed. “I wanted to have the damn choice to my own body. This isn’t you cutting my hair or changing my clothes. You took away everything about me that made me who I am. You changed the chemical makeup of my body, my genetics. I can never go back to being human. I don’t care if I was dying, I should’ve had the right to choose, and you knew that.”
“There wasn’t a choice to be made,” he snapped. “You were dying, Margo.”
“I hoped you would respect me enough to let me go.”
“And I hoped you loved me enough to fight.”
“You hoped I loved you enough to fight for a life I don’t want?” I stood up from the chair. “You hoped that my love for you outweighed everything else I liked about myself? You hoped my love for you would make up for the fact that you took this from me?”
“I didn’t take anything from you!” he yelled, his face growing red. “I saved your life! What part of that don’t you get?”
“I didn’t want to be saved!” My body shook under the weight of my anger. Theo recoiled. “I didn’t want to be saved, Theo, and you’re selfish to think that this is some kind of gift you’ve given me. You’re being selfish.”
“Me?” he questioned. “I’m the one being selfish? Can you take one minute to understand that being alive and a werewolf is better than being dead? Can you at least acknowledge that?”
“No.” I shook my head firmly.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “We’re not going to agree on this.”
“Then get out.”
“What?” he asked, stepping closer to me.
“I said get out,” I growled. “This isn’t something we get to agree to disagree on. If you don’t think that taking away my choice to my own body is a mistake, then you need to leave. This isn’t something I can live with.”
“I’m not leaving you here alone,” he vowed.
“You’re not. You sent Gemma, and I’m sure you can send Sloane and Gabriel and Cam and Reese and Eli and anyone else you can think of to check on me. And they’ll report back to you because you’re their Enforcer. But you aren’t mine. I don’t care if I’m a werewolf now. You aren’t in charge of me. And I don’t care if this is your house,” I pushed against his chest roughly with both of my hands. “I want you out. I want you to leave! Get out! Now!”
“Margo,” Theo pleaded. He allowed me to push him back but stopped firmly near the front door.
“Can’t you see that you’re hurting me?”
His jaw quivered, and he closed his eyes, stilling briefly before he threw the door open and walked out of it quickly. My chest tightened, and I placed my hand over my heart to make sure it was still beating correctly.
I stumbled back to the couch, where I spent the remainder of the day staring at the wall until late afternoon when Gemma came back for her evening routine. She brought a premade dish over that she finished off in our oven as I sat at the kitchen counter.
“How d-did it go?” she mumbled while slicing a loaf of bread.
“Fine,” I breathed.
“That’s not what I heard.”
“He doesn’t understand.”
She pursed her lips. “D-did he try to?”
“I’m not even sure,” I sighed. A muscle cramp surged in my stomach, and I tried to ignore it until the pain felt like it was twisted around all the organs in my belly. I made a small noise of discomfort, and Gemma’s head snapped toward me immediately. My hand clutched at my stomach, and I heaved in deep breaths, wincing again.
“M-margo, you need to shift,” she snapped, slamming everything down on the counter.
“No.” Another ripple of pain rushed through me, and I stumbled out of the stool I was sitting on, leaning against the nearby fridge for support. This time, a louder cry broke free from my mouth, and it sounded more animalistic than human.
“G-go outside.” Her eyes glazed over, and I knew she was mind-linking someone. It was an expression I had grown accustomed to.
“Don’t tell him,” I pleaded, staggering toward the back door. The cool wind touched my skin, and I felt like I wanted to leap out of my body. My whimpers turned to bellows and bellows to screams as muscle cramps took over nearly every inch of my body. I dropped to the ground and let my head fall in the grass.
I should’ve been able to smell Theo before I saw him, but my mind was clouded. He dropped on the ground next to me and moved my arms away from their position clutching around the middle of my body.
“Margo,” he said sternly, trying to make eye contact with me. I blinked rapidly but looked back at him. “You’re going to shift.”
“No,” I whimpered, trying to break free from his hold. He placed my hands on the ground and moved my feet, so they were laying out away from me. “No, please.”
“Margo, your body is readying for a shift, whether you want it or not. It’s happening, but I am right here, and I’m not going to leave you.”
“No, I don’t want-”
“I know this is not what you want.” He nodded, stroking my cheek sadly. “I wish I could take it all away for you.” He paused for a minute, petting my hair back from my sweaty forehead. “Do you want to let it happen naturally, or do you want the pain to be over now?”
“Make it stop,” I pleaded softly, closing my eyes as another wave rippled through me.
“Shift.” It was an Alpha tone. I had heard him use it on others before, and it sounded only mildly gruffer than his normal voice, but now in this form, I felt an undeniable need to submit.
My body began contorting, and violently, I was thrown from one set of bones and muscles to another. The pain was pinpointed to a mere moment, but it felt like I was shattering into dust on the ground.
I groaned, and when I heard the animalistic noise that came out, I whimpered. My eyes opened, and I saw that I was lying in the same position, but Theo was now in front of me, kneeling before me, stroking my head softly. I couldn’t speak. That was the most alarming thing. I kept trying to form words, but they came out as terrible, sad, whines.
“Shh, you’re okay,” Theo said, touching the side of my face with his hand. “You’re alright, little one. Just relax. I’m here. It’s over.”
I slithered around on the ground before I tried to stand up on four legs. It felt foreign to me, but I moved naturally into the correct position. My
limbs were still weak, and they shook under me. I felt over onto Theo, who ran his hand down my back. My feet kicked out from underneath me, but it only propelled me further into his body.
“Margo, you’re doing great. Just relax. Breathe. Let your body adjust.” His hand continued to stroke from the top of my head down my back and up again. I huffed and released my body. “Do you want me to shift too?” he offered.
I quickly started whimpering and whining in protest, wiggling in his hold to get away from him.
“Okay, okay, I won’t. It’s alright. It’s okay. We’re okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
He continued to lay with me in the grass, petting me, and holding me. After I completely relaxed in his arms, he gave me another command to shift back to help me.
His shirt was shed from his body and wrapped around me instantly as I traded forms. I tried to push myself up from the ground, but Theo’s arms pulled me up into his chest before I could attempt it. My eyes remained closed until I was laid gently on our bed.
Theo grabbed the covers and replaced his shirt for the soft cotton. He brushed my hair from my face, and it was that moment my eyes opened.
It was the first moment after shifting that I had made eye contact with him, and immediately something moved inside me. All the molecules in my body somehow solidified themselves to him, and I was no longer just part of myself; I was now one half of this man. I don’t know how to explain it in any other way than I understood why he did what he did. In that quiet moment, I knew why he turned me.
I reached out softly and placed my hand on his hand. The soft smile on his face grew.
“I understand,” I whispered, trying to fight the sleep that was trying to overcome me.
“You do?” There was uncertainty in his voice as his hand hovered over my cheek.
“I understand now.” And I did. More than I knew was possible.
At that moment, it wasn’t about human or werewolf. It wasn’t about my choice or his. It wasn’t about any of the little things that were suddenly changed in my world.
It was about him and me.
And I knew I would do absolutely everything in my power for a future between the two of us to exist. I would do anything to keep him safe. I would do anything to protect him. Half of my heart, half of me, existed in him, and I knew the same existed in me.
I understood.
Provocation
I slept next to Theo for a few hours and thought it was short, it was the best sleep I’d gotten in weeks. When I woke up, it was dark outside, and Theo was asleep with his head slumped back, propped up by his neck uncomfortably.
I nudged him and caressed his cheek as he sleepily opened his eyes. He smiled tiredly and leaned his face further into my hand. With his eyes closed, he looked younger. He opened his eyes as my hand moved up and down his cheek, gently brushing against his skin.
His eyes trailed from my face down to my waist and back up to stare at my lower lip that I was biting. He lifted his hand and pulled my lip from my teeth, and it lingered there for a moment. My body was getting hotter like there was a fire burning in the pit of my belly, and the flames were licking out.
I leaned my head down and pressed my lips to his. He grabbed the back of my hair; the little tug he gave sent a shiver down my spine. I pulled myself closer to him, hungrily kissing the lips I hadn’t touched for so long.
He let out a small grunt from the back of his throat when my lips left his and moved to his cheek, to his chin, to his neck.
“Margo,” he murmured with gentle remonstrance. My left hand popped the first button apart of the shirt he had put on and touched the skin underneath. He had a small smattering of hair on his chest that my fingers drifted through. His hand slowly rose and pressed my shoulder away. I sat up and looked at him in confusion.
“We shouldn’t do this right now.” He smiled sadly and rubbed his thumb against my collar bone.
“Why not?” I asked, plucking his hand from my chest and moving it to my lips.
“You’ve just been turned. Your emotions are going to be heightened, and your…sex drive is going to be a lot greater.” His voice dipped when I opened my mouth and sucked the tip of his index finger. He looked flustered, which I thought was sweet, and I moved so I was sitting on his lap with my legs on either side of his.
“I feel fine, Theo. I just want you.” Our faces were millimeters away. Foreheads touching, lips open in anticipation.
“Trust me, I want to. I wish we could, but I want to do this when you’re ready and willing and not just because your hormones are making you horny. You’ll regret doing this later.”
I didn’t listen to him and nipped his upper lip.
“Margo, no. We need to stop.” I pulled away at his serious tone and looked at him. He had a hard look on his face, and his hands had captured both of my roaming wrists.
“Okay,” I gulped, trying to hide the fact that I felt rejected. I clambered off the bed and started walking towards the bathroom. Theo groaned and said my name like he was cursing. He followed me and stood in front of the doorway, blocking me.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just want to wait until you know you’re ready.”
“I do know I’m ready,” I said earnestly, putting my hands on his waist, my thumbs brushing the thick muscles underneath.
“Margo, there is nothing I want more than to throw you on my bed and ravish you, but I know you aren’t ready for that, and I’m trying really hard to control myself. You affect every part of me just by touching me, just by looking at me. But I want to be together when we’re both in the right mindset. This is the first time you’ve touched me in weeks. and I know some small part of you knows this isn’t the right time.”
I blushed, a warm heat filling my face and neck at his words. His arm wrapped around my shoulder as I hid my face in his chest.
“Now, why don’t we go downstairs and get something to eat?” he suggested. I nodded, and we walked downstairs, me before him.
Reese and Cam were sitting downstairs on the couches while Gemma was bustling around, trying to clean up after my destructive state.
“Why are you all in my house?” Theo asked amusingly. Gemma stopped moving, un unfolded blanket and pillow hung in her grasp. Reese snorted loudly, and his head shot back in laughter.
“We wanted to see how your little wolf was holding up." Reese smirked. I glared but blushed nonetheless.
“I’m fine,” I grumbled, holding onto Theo’s forearm.
Reese shook his head and pushed himself off the couch. “That’s not what I heard. I heard you were a little cranky these past few days,” he cooed to me as he passed, ruffling my hair with one hand while the other stayed tucked in his pocket.
I pushed his hand off me and growled. I understood what Theo mean when he said my emotions would be heightened; one moment, I’m trying to seduce my mate, the next, I’m almost in tears, and then I’m ready to rip his brother’s hand clear off his body for touching me.
“Oh.” Reese’s eyebrows shot up, and he gave me a sarcastic look of fear. “Pup’s got claws.”
“Reese, quit it. You remember what it was like to be newly shifted.” Theo gave his brother a stern look and pushed me forward gently.
“I was just teasing, sis, no need to bite my hand off.” I ignored him and went into the kitchen. Theo was close behind me, his hand never leaving the small of my back.
“Just ignore him,” he murmured.
“I usually do,” I joked.
✽✽✽
After a week of doting on me, Theo was immediately launched back into his work. Claims of misconduct and unfair treatment surfaced, and he spent most of the day in his office. I made him snacks and brought him a cup of coffee every so often. He would cover his phone on his chest and kiss me before returning to his call.
Theo put Reese and Eli in charge of training me in self-defense, both in my human and wolf forms. Eli took his job more seriously than his brother, going as far as to create a point
system with rewards and punishments for how well I performed.
Reese mostly sat on the grass next to us, eating the snacks meant for Eli and me and giving me snarky comments about my feeble attacks.
I collapsed on the ground, exhausted after our tenth training session. Eli made me run two miles before practicing my retaliations from being grabbed or attacked from behind. Every time, he got his arms around me and held me still while I kicked and bit and cursed, claiming that once I got free, he was going to be in a world of trouble.
Reese patted my shoulder as I laid next to him.
“Come on, get up, you think your enemy is going to wait until you’re well-rested?” Eli called provocatively. I groaned and told him to leave me alone. “Margo, Theo’s going to be mad if he comes out here and finds you on the ground instead of learning how to fight.”
“Theo will be mad at you, he’ll tell me I’m doing wonderful,” I teased, sticking my tongue out.
“I’m going to tell him that you and Reese were sitting over there flirting the entire time,” he said flatly. I sat up immediately, flipping myself over to look at him in outrage.
“You wouldn’t,” I denied, still concerned that he would.
He shrugged his shoulders. “You never know,” he smirked, kicking his heel.
I snarled but stood up nonetheless and pushed Reese over. He slumped to the ground and opened his mouth in surprise.
“How dare you,” he said, brushing the grass from his shoulders.
“What are you even doing here?”
“I’m here for moral support,” he claimed, peeling another orange open and throwing the scraps behind him.
“You’re just taking up space,” I said, walking back over to Eli.
He growled and pushed himself off the ground. “I’ll show you a waste of space, sis.” He grabbed my arm and pinned it behind my back. I turned and jerked my arm out of his grasp. He cocked his head and took a fighting stance.
I glanced at Eli, and he nodded at me encouragingly. I took a stance like Reese, and he lunged. I stayed out of his arms for most of the time though I realized he was going easy on me. He turned, and I took the opportunity to stick my foot out and kick his legs out from under him.