by Eve R. Hart
“We can trust ‘em,” he said as his head did an odd nodding bounce thing. Though he was hearing me and giving responses in return, I could tell that his thoughts were a million miles away. “Well, fuck.”
Then like he hadn’t been lost in God knew where, he snatched up the paper and tossed it to Bocca without even opening it.
“Find out everythin’ you can about that place. I want blueprints, satellite pictures, whatever the fuck else your nerd ass can get me. I want it all. We ain’t goin’ in blind.”
Yeah, he didn’t open it. He didn’t even look at what it said. I couldn’t blame him. Having an address didn’t mean shit until you had the tools to formulate a plan. Bocca was the only one of us that needed to know at this point, anyone else was just a chance for that information to get out.
“Once we have that, we sit down and fuckin’ plan. In the meantime, we get ready. I won’t call the other chapters until we have somethin’ concrete. None of this leaves this goddamn room. Now get gone.” His fist fell heavy onto the top of the table then everyone got up and filed out. I hesitated for a moment, watching him to make sure he was good.
“Time has finally come,” he said. His voice sounded tired and stressed.
All I could think about was ending Savage.
For the club.
For Stone.
For Tank.
And for Allison and her son.
Images of what I would do to him when I finally got my hands on him filled my head. I knew I wasn’t the only one that wanted a piece of him and I wondered if there was even enough to go around. Hell, we’d fucking make it work. Drag that shit out as long as it took for everyone to be satisfied.
We sat there for a long time in a dead silence. Both of us lost completely in our thoughts. I think that we need it though. Since Allison had come into town, I hadn’t spent much time at the club or with Cal. Considering the man was pretty much my dad, that was how I looked at him in my mind anyway, I felt like I’d been distant lately. I couldn’t pinpoint why. Sure, Allison and Neiryn were part of that, but maybe there was something more.
I had a lot of shit recently that I was working on and I felt like parts of me were changing. I knew some things were subtle, but I’d noticed them and I had a feeling that some of the brothers had too. I hoped like hell that I still made him proud and I dreaded the day I ever let him down.
“It’s all been leadin’ up to this,” Cal said breaking the silence of the room.
“Yeah, it’s what we wanted. The last piece we needed. We’re ready to go and now we have a direction to head in.”
He sucked in a slow, deep breath through his nose. After holding it in for a few seconds, he let it out just as slow.
“This is gonna be yours soon, boy.” He made a point to tap the head of the table with his thick knuckle.
“One day, yes. But not soon, old man, you aren’t done yet,” I replied and let out a huffed, nervous laugh.
“This is it, Axe. I hope to hell that we’re ready.”
I knew exactly what he was saying. Not just ready for the war but ready for the fall out from that decision.
The end was coming, I could feel it in my soul.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Axe
“Son,” Cal said,catching my attention as I went to stand.
“Yeah, prez?”
My body fell back into the chair. He put his hand on my shoulder and I knew whatever he was about to tell me wasn’t going to be good. My gut clenched and for some reason, I had to fight the urge to throw up.
“You need to go see Ethel,” he said his eyes turned sad and I hated what he was insinuating.
“No…” I breathed out in a harsh whisper.
“It don’t look good, boy. I know how you like the old bat and I’d hate for you not to get a chance to say your peace before it was too late.”
I nodded simply because I couldn’t do anything else. My whole body went numb and it felt like my heart had stopped beating for a minute.
Damn.
The last few days had been some of the best ones in my life and today had proved that good things don’t last very long. With just a flick of the wrist, the wheel could turn and everything could be turned upside down.
I took a moment to gather myself before I headed out. I wasn’t looking forward to going to the hospital, but I knew I had to.
“Hey, man,” Brand called out as I made my way to the front door.
“Yeah?” I turned to him, my head still felt like it was in a daze.
“You alright?” he asked, his face pinched tight with worry.
“Sure. I gotta get up to see Ethel. Can you call the prospect at the house and tell him to let Allison know I’ll be back in a little bit?”
“I’m going to go help Chris fix some boards on his porch, so I’m heading that way now. I’ll tell her myself and check on them.” He clapped me on the back and I appreciated that he was looking out for us.
“Thanks, brother,” I said, clapping him back.
“She, uh…” he said and his eyes looked down at the ground. I could tell he was wrestling with his emotions and so I let him have his moment even though I needed to get going. “Ethel looks really bad. And Reagan is falling apart.”
“Thanks for the heads up,” I said as I sniffed.
Fuck, I couldn’t handle this. I knew he was close to Ethel and I imagined this was as hard on him as it was for me. “I’ll send my love for you.”
He replied with a chin jerk then turned and walked out the door. I followed behind him and climbed on my bike.
The short ride gave me time to mull over everything that was going on in my head.
I should have been happy but I wouldn’t allow myself to feel that until this was all over. We were one huge step closer. We were practically standing on Savage’s doorstep, about to knock down the damn door.
I cleared my head and tried to brighten my mood as I pulled up to the hospital. I wanted to go in with a positive attitude. Ethel didn’t need anything heavy hanging around. And Reagan and Loch didn’t need to see that shit was going on. The last thing they should have been thinking about was club stuff.
“Hey, brother,” I said as I saw Loch coming down the opposite direction of the hall carrying two generic coffee cups.
He looked tired and worn out. I could only imagine how this was getting to him. He’d known Ethel his entire life. Hell, he’d lived next to her that long. She’d seen his naked ass when he was a toddler running through the sprinklers in the backyard. Yeah, I wasn’t around that long ago but she loved to tell that story. Not only was she his old lady’s grandmother, she was like family to him too.
“Shit,” he said like he had been caught off guard slightly even though his eyes had been trained in my direction. “Sorry, brother. It’s been a long few days.”
“I know, man. It’s alright.” I clapped him on the shoulder trying my best to lend some comfort. “Any change?”
We turned our attention to the small window on the door and he let out a long sigh. Reagan had her back to the us, her body blocking any view that I might have gotten of Ethel. I was scared to step inside that door, but I knew I’d have to.
“Not really. She’s breathin’ on her own, so that’s good.” His lips thinned like he was trying his best to pull himself together. “She still hasn’t woken up.”
“Come on,” I muttered as I gathered all the strength I could muster and pushed open the door, holding it open for him.
Reagan’s head turned as soon as we entered. She didn’t look any better than Loch. The dark circles under her eyes showed the strain this was putting on her.
“Hey, Axe,” she whispered like Ethel was sleeping rather than in a coma.
“Hey, Reagan.” I shuffled side to side in place and scratched the back of my neck with my hand.
“Got you a coffee.” Loch awkwardly held up the cup as if to prove his point.
Reagan turned her attention back to Ethel and grabbed her frail, bon
y hand. She leaned over and whispered something into Ethel’s ear and I felt like I was encroaching on a private moment. I felt like I shouldn’t even be there. What good was it going to do anyway? It wasn’t like Ethel knew I was there. Or did she somehow? I had no fucking clue. All I knew, was that I needed to see her. I needed to lend my support and let her know that she better come back to us.
“She won’t leave the room. I can’t get her to eat. And she hasn’t slept. I just…I don’t know what I can do to fix this.” Loch didn’t take his eyes off of Reagan as he spoke about her.
After a minute, Reagan shuffled over to us, her feet dragged as if they were held down by a heavy weight. Loch handed her one of the cups and they walked over to the couch in the corner of the room.
“Old bat,” I said as I took Reagan’s vacated seat. Yeah, I was taunting her a bit, hoping to shake her out of this damn shit. “Look, I don’t know what kinda game you’re playing, but your sympathy card is about to run the fuck out. Don’t you think it’s time? Besides, you’re missing all the good shit.” My voice was low but held a surprising amount of emotion, especially for me.
My hand grabbed hers. It was cold and the skin that covered it was so pale it looked translucent. I sat there for a long while just watching her chest rise and fall.
“I swear on my cut that if you’re faking this shit, you will never pinch this ass again.” A small, sad laugh escaped my lips.
I waited. Nothing. I burned a hole in her head with my eyes, willing her to blink, or cough, or squeeze my hand. Still nothing.
“I don’t…” Ethel’s voice sounded raw and barely above a whisper. I blinked, unsure if I had really heard it. Hell, my mind could have been playing tricks on me.
Then Reagan and Loch were there on the other side of the bed and I knew I wasn’t insane.
“Nan?” Reagan called out.
Ethel let out a small cough and tried to get her words out again.
“I don’t believe you for one damn minute, Axe,” she said and fuck, I laughed.
“Get the doctor,” Reagan yelled, but Loch was already pushing the call button. Then for good measure, he walked out the door, I assumed to find someone.
“Wait.” Ethel swallowed. “Did you get him? Is the girl safe?”
I looked up at Reagan, who looked just as confused as me.
“What are you talking about?” Reagan asked.
“That boy, Mercer’s son, he was the one that did this. He ran my car off the road. But first…”
She drew in a deep breath like she was struggling.
“He followed me. He was waiting in the parking lot by my car. I just…just needed some new candles…”
“Ethel, take your time, but get to the point. Someone did this?” I said and my voice held a dark edge.
“Your voice…” Her milky eyes looked up at me but I didn’t respond. “The girl…she’s the reason, isn’t she? You feel…something now.”
“Woman, not the time. When you get home, you can see for yourself.” My eyes pinned her with a serious stare.
“That good for nothing boy, I never trusted him. He was wearing a cut, but it wasn’t anything I recognized. He…he was asking about the girl.” Her eyes closed and I had a feeling that was all I was going to get out of her.
The girl?
Fuck!
She was talking about Allison.
Cut?
Everything slid into place as my brain spun with what Ethel had said.
“No,” I said my voice shaking as much as my hands.
“Go,” Reagan called as if she understood everything. “Fucking move your feet, Axe. Go!”
My sneakers squeaked on the cheap tiles as I spun and headed for the door. My shoulder clipped Loch’s as I flew out of the room.
No.
I promised I could protect her.
I vowed I would keep them safe.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Allison
I didn’t get out of the bed until I heard Neiryn rooting around in his crib. I stayed hunkered down under the sheets, so desperate to keep the warmth in. As soon as Axe left, the air around me turned freezing cold. I could feel the panic and urgency linger in the room long after he’d gone. While I wanted to know what the hell was going on, I didn’t at the same time. Was it really better to be left in the dark? Sometimes I thought so. But I couldn’t ignore the clenching feeling I had in my gut.
So, I focused on Neiryn. I made him breakfast and drank my coffee next to him while he managed to get more eggs on the floor than in his actual mouth. I tried my best to keep my mood light and the anxiety at bay for him. He’d been through so much already and I wanted him to know that everything was going to be okay. I was his mother, and I would protect and take care of him no matter what.
We were playing on the soft, pea green colored rug that covered the middle of the living room when a knock sounded on the door. I froze, puzzle piece pinched between my fingers and paused in midair. I listened and waited. The knock came again and since the hairs on the back of my neck didn’t stand on end, I figured that whoever it was might have been safe. But then again, I was hesitant to trust my gut. I couldn’t ever be too careful.
“Allison,” the tiny voice called from the other side of the door and a relieved breath rushed out of my lungs. “It’s Ellie.”
“Coming,” I called out and sprang to my feet. “Hi.”
I pulled open the door and a huge body came into view and completely scared the crap out of me. What I had expected to see was the smallest woman I had ever met with strawberry blonde hair and maybe even a baby on her hip. But what I didn’t expect, was a man so wide that I couldn’t even fit all of his body in my vision and so tall that I had to crane my neck all the way back to meet his eyes.
“Tank! Shit!” I huffed out as my hand went to my chest.
He had come over a couple of times to ‘check on Axe’ but I really think he just missed his friend. I felt bad because I knew I was to blame for that. I hated that I’d monopolized all of Axe’s time, but at the same time, I didn’t.
Did I mind that Tank was there right then? Not one bit. The guy might have been massive and scary, especially with all that hair he had going on around his face, but I knew he was a teddy bear.
Also, I had a pretty good idea that he was there to supervise, in a way. Diesel seemed very protective over Ellie and Fate, I had seen that in just the little time I’d spent around them that one time at the clubhouse. I was sure it was even more in overdrive now that everyone knew who I was.
“Please tell me that you are here to hang out.” I gave Ellie a hopeful look.
She giggled and shifted Fate on her hip.
“Yes. I needed to get out of the house and I am desperate for some adult conversation.” She spoke like a woman who understood my life.
My head tilted back as I laughed. For the first time in forever, I felt light. I felt like I could have something normal. I could have friends and a life that wasn’t so…lonely and isolated.
“Come in, then, please. By all means, let me see if I can help you out with that. I couldn’t possibly understand how you could get tired of repeating the same thing over and over in hopes that she will pick up on something.” I joked and luckily Ellie got it and laughed. To my surprise, Tank laughed too, like he understood exactly what I was talking about.
“Just wait,” Tank said, as he stepped in behind Ellie and shut the door behind him. “Until they really start talking and trying to be independent. Get ready to make the word no the most used in your vocabulary.”
Ellie’s eyes flashed with a bit of sadness and I felt like I was missing something. Though there was an outer melancholy in Tanks eyes, it didn’t seem to go too deep. I wondered what the hell was going on, but it seemed inappropriate to ask. I didn’t really know these people yet on that kind of level.
“Coffee?” I asked changing the subject.
“Oh gosh, yes!” Ellie’s eyes lit up like I’d just offered her a delicacy.
“Neiryn’s in the living room. I’ll be right back.” I pointed the way.
I scooted off to the kitchen and as I scooped the grounds into the filter it hit me. I had just left them alone with my son. Two people who were practically strangers to me and it didn’t dawn on me until I was out of eyeshot of Neiryn.
I waited. I expected some sort of panic or a rising rush to go in there and snatch up my son. But it didn’t come. The odd thing was I felt like they were safe, like Neiryn and I were both safe. I gave my head a sharp shake as I finished making the coffee.
Had I found my place? Somewhere that could be my home? The life I’d always wished for when I was little? The same life I never thought I’d ever have. The one where I would have a calm wash over me each morning when I woke up. Would I be able to be me now?
But…I didn’t even know what that was? Who the hell was I? Sure, you could put so many labels on me. I was a victim, though I hated that word. I was lost. Broken. Scarred. Fucked up.
But I was also more, or so I wanted to believe. I was a mother. And now a lover? Yeah, I had no clue on that one. Though, I could tell you that I was loved, every time Axe looked at me I felt it.
Now, could I also be more than those things? A friend? A girlfriend? Eventually, maybe a wife?
I had so many possibilities. It seemed like my world had opened up and I had people that were there to help me embrace it. They were there despite where I came from. Then again, maybe Ellie didn’t know a damn thing about that.
Shrugging myself out of my thoughts, I filled three coffee mugs. The simple white ceramic reminded me of what Axe had done for me. Well, it was really Ellie that had ordered all this stuff for me, but it was his thought behind it all.
“He is just the cutest,” Ellie said as I came into view carrying all three of the mugs like I had the grace of a cat.
Tank was standing off to the side, watching from a safe distance.
“Here ya go.” I handed Tank one of the cups and set the others on the side table next to the couch.
“Thank you, Allison.” His smile was nice and I could tell by the crinkle lines on the side of his not-so-old face that he smiled a lot.