Abbie thrashes below me like a woman possessed. She doesn’t seem to have control over her own limbs as she twists up to meet my mouth. She mewls, begging me to teach her body about the white-hot bliss of passion and experience.
Her hips grind against me, begging me for something she’s never had. Her mind might be nervous, her heart might not be ready, but her body knows instinctively what to do. It’s silently pleading with me to fuck her. To claim her. To stretch out her walls until her hymen is mine.
My breathing is jagged and my throat is raw as I fight my urges to rip off her pants and fill her with my cock. It takes a second, but I remember that a moment of intense pleasure would never be worth the regret of going back on my word. I meant what I said about not wanting to hurt her. Besides, good things come to those who wait, that goes for me, and I’m about to show her that it goes for her too.
I kiss and nibble a trail down her ribs and over her belly to the edge of the pants that I lent her. I can smell her desire like a fresh bloom after a spring rain. It fills my nostrils and drives me to the edge of sanity. I hook my fingers under the waistband and tug the pants over her hips, down past her sweet ass in one yank, until they’re pooled around her ankles. Staring between her legs, I lick my lips at her neatly trimmed pussy. I run my finger over the short hair and pull her lips open to reveal the pearl of desire inside her.
Glancing up at Abbie, I can see she’s nervous. She’s tensed back up and looking down at me with concern etched into her delicate features.
“Just lie back and relax,” I slide down between her legs, “I’m gonna make you feel good, I promise.” I hover over her sweet pussy admiring her untouched lips. Delving my tongue between them, I’m rewarded with a splash of her juices. Like the first drops of water after a long trek through the desert, I lap them up feverishly.
Slipping my tongue deeper between her lips I slide into her tight hole and she squeezes down on me, making me groan as my cock jealously throbs against the fabric of my pants. I take a long, slow lick up to her sensitive nub, flattening my tongue against it, letting her get used to the sensation.
Abbie cries out and opens her thighs wide, until each of her legs is lying flat against the bed. I smile against her, then begin to lick slow, lazy circles over her clit. Her cries grow louder and she begins to buck against my mouth, chasing her pleasure.
I press one finger against her wet slit and push it inside her. Her body writhes under me as her pussy squeezes against my finger tightly. I flicker my tongue against her nub quicker as I press into her center. Abbie moans and twists as I take her to the edge. Thrashing my tongue over her clit, I thrust my finger inside and hook it toward me, pressing against the spot inside that brings her to new heights. Abbie cries out while covering her face with her hands, and throws her head back. I relentlessly lick her clit until her shuddering and quivering stops.
Pulling out my finger, I lick off her sweet nectar with a smile and climb back up beside her.
“That was incredible,” she looks at me with her hooded eyes and gives me a dreamy smile.
“I’m glad,” I answer honestly and pull her into me. Abbie nuzzles into my chest and I pull the blankets over us and wrap my arms around her.
“I’ve never felt like that before,” she confesses. “I mean, I’ve touched myself, of course, but it’s never felt like that,” her voice is breathy.
I run my hand over her hair and kiss her forehead, holding her tight. “There’s a lot more where that came from, Abbie. But right now, you need some rest.”
She doesn’t answer me, she just snuggles in a little closer and I feel her body relax in my arms. Before long I can hear her breathing grow deeper as she drifts off into sleep as I hold her in my arms. I don’t want to fall asleep, I don’t want this feeling to end. I just want to lie here and hold her like this forever.
18
Abbie
Ka-caw! Caw!
My eyelids flutter open as the sound of a bird outside the window drags me from my peaceful sleep. Outside, I can see a big, black crow pecking at an acorn. The warm streaks of afternoon sun are bursting across the room, making it toasty warm in here. Not that sleeping next to a tall, burly man isn’t enough to keep my blood pumping.
Caw! The crow mouths off before taking off into flight. It’s funny how back home a constant stream of honking horns from gridlocked traffic would put me out like a sweet lullaby, but actual noises from the world of nature are jarring to me.
I look up at Cole, sleeping like a baby next to me. Obviously he’s used to being surrounded by the sounds of the forest. He didn’t even flinch from the bird. He looks so calm next to me right now. Like the torrent of anguish he carries around, coursing through his soul, is also taking a nap, letting him recharge.
I can’t help but smile at his thick lips. Lips that brought me intense bliss I’ve never felt before. My cheeks flame up with the thought and the burn spreads down my neck and over my exposed breasts.
I love how I feel in his arms. If I’m honest, I love how it feels to be in his life. There’s something about a man that can not only take care of your needs, like keeping me fed not to mention making me cum… I lost my train of thought. Oh, right, but also being with a man who makes you feel safe.
Protected.
It gives me a deep comfort that I haven’t felt since childhood when Mama would reassure me there were no monsters under the bed, pulling back the blankets to prove it. Just that feeling that nothing can hurt you as long as you’re with them. That they can make the entire world a better place just for you. It calms that anxiety that I think every woman feels inside. The one that comes from the everyday battles and the constant background threats of the world we live in. It’s amazing to let those go, even if it’s only for a brief time.
What would Mama think of Cole? I try to imagine introducing her to him, back before she got sick. Would she think this was reckless?
“Abbie, please baby, hand me that water. I can’t reach that far,” she croaked at me after another round of chemo. She was always so weary after her treatment, it was like it took ten years off her. The same poison that she needed to kill off the cancer made her a feeble shell of the boisterous, happy woman who raised me.
“Here you go,” I helped bring the glass of water to her pale, cracked lips and she slowly sipped the liquid. When she was finished, she fell back against her pillow, strewing her headscarf to the side and sighed.
I hated seeing her that way. When I was a kid, my Mama was like Wonder Woman to me. Smart, pretty, heroically brave. It always felt like there was nothing she couldn’t do.
“I’m gonna let you get some rest, okay?” I whispered, unsure if she was already asleep.
“No,” she clutched my hand and her eyes sprang open, “please, don’t go.”
“Okay, of course,” I agreed.
“I need to talk to you, honey,” her voice sounded urgent. Like there was a family secret she needed to share before it was too late. Like whatever it was had been weighing on her for years.
I waited for her to catch her breath, holding her hand loosely so I wouldn’t add to the bruises on her frail skin.
“Abbie, please listen to me. You have always been my absolute pride. My heart bursts with joy when I think of you. I could never have been blessed with a better daughter. I’ve known that since the day you were born,” she swallowed hard.
“Thanks, but you don’t need to do this now…”
She held up her bony fingers and I clamped my mouth shut. I didn’t want to argue with her.
“I’ve never questioned what you want to do or tried to tell you what path to take, but honey, I’m running out of time.”
“No, you’re not,” tears slid from my eyes. Little did I know then, she was right. She must have known in her heart that the end of her struggle was in sight. It wasn’t even six months later that she took her last breath.
“Listen, please,” she pleaded quietly and I stopped protesting. “Abbie, you’re so
smart, and I’m glad that you’re doing so well with your political science degree, I am. But, I’m worried for you too. Sometimes I see you taking the safest route. You’ve learned a lot about how the world works on paper in the last two years, but what have you experienced? What have you tasted, felt, smelled, and seen? What made you fall in love? What broke your heart? What made you so angry you decided to make a change? Do you understand what I mean?”
I knew what she was saying, but to understand the depth of her words, of her passion, that wouldn’t come until after she passed.
“Yes,” I agreed with her.
“Don’t wake up one day when you’re dying and realize that you never lived. I had a wild and crazy youth. I backpacked around South America, I hitchhiked across Europe, I had many jobs before I found my career. By the time I had you, I was ready to be a mom. I was ready to give all of myself to raising you because I never felt like I was missing out on anything. Please, honey, don’t go from my house, to college, to a career, to marriage, to kids, to regrets and then into your grave.” She coughed and leaned forward. I reached for her water and helped her take a longer sip this time.
“Mom, we can talk about this more when you’re feeling better. Right now, you need some sleep,” I helped her back onto her pillow.
She waved her hand, but closed her eyes. “I will,” she agreed. “Just promise me that you won’t spend so much time trying to live the perfect life that you wake up one day and realize all your experiences were sanitized and safe, Abbie. Life is messy. Get messy.”
“Okay, Mama,” I promised, not fully feeling the impact of her words.
It wasn’t until I dropped a handful of soil on her coffin that the conversation came back to me. It literally took getting my hand dirty from my mother’s funeral to spark an awakening inside me. It took her death to give me life.
Tears stream from the corners of my eyes and I snuggle in closer to Cole. Instinctively, he wraps his arm around me tighter and the slow, steady beat of his heart helps calm me down.
She would’ve approved, I smile despite my tears. My muscles are flooded with relief as I realize that my mother would be so happy to see me having a crazy adventure with a good man like Cole out in the Yukon woods. I breathe in deep, and let myself drift back into a hazy fog of happiness knowing that for the first time in my life, I’m actually living. And Mama would be proud.
19
Cole
I’m sitting in my old chair, the brown leather one from my living room. Damn I miss that thing. The way it moulded to my body, perfectly shaped against my skin. The rough cut chair I put together is a far cry from the comfort of that beauty.
Wait, why am I home? I look around my familiar house and the walls seem to form and appear as I turn my head to squint at them. It’s still as sparsely decorated as ever, I never did see much point in putting a bunch of paintings on the wall when I’m deployed half the time. Then I’d come home from a mission and get posted across the country anyway. It seemed silly to decorate just for the movers.
I slump back in my chair and enjoy being in my old place again. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. I may not have spent much time sprucing it up, but it was still home.
“Hey.”
I look up and Abbie is standing before me, I can’t help the way my jaw is flapping open. She’s startlingly sexy. Standing like a vision in a pastel pink nightie, her tits are spilling up over the lace and her rosebud nipples are barely contained inside.
I stare at the way the lace hugs her curves, studying the fabric design like it’s the key to my life’s happiness.
Hell, it might just be.
“What are you doing here?” My voice feels far away, like it isn’t coming from inside me.
She smiles that sweet, shy smile that makes me protect her from the world and teach her, as her personal professor, just how dirty a man can be. God damn! Her bright green eyes lock me in place, they make me forget she doesn’t belong there. That something about this is off.
“I think I figured out what I can do for you. You know,” her tongue swipes over her lips and I’m entranced, “something that I can do to make you feel good.” Her voice is husky. It doesn’t quite sound like her, but I don’t have the attention span to care. All I can see is the flicker in her eyes as she slowly slinks over to me and slides to her knees in front of me.
Suddenly, my pants are open and I’m watching her wrap her small hand around my thick cock. My muscles clench as I watch her lips slide down over my shaft, taking the entire thing into her mouth.
That’s not how an inexperienced girl gives a blowjob. I don’t care. I can’t think of anything I could possibly care about less in this moment. I can feel the wet heat of her mouth surrounding me. She slurps as she takes every inch of me deep inside, past her lips. Those lips. Has anyone ever had a more perfect pair? I watch as her head bobs. Her hair cascades around her face and she takes me deep in her mouth.
“I’m gonna cum,” I warn her, and she disappears.
What the fuck?
I twist around in my seat, searching for her. Fuck I’ll flip this chair right over if it means getting her back here to finish the job. Where did she go?
My balls ache and my gut twists up painfully as I call out her name. I try, but my voice won’t work.
I sit up, breathing hard and sweating. Abbie is lying next to me. Looking every bit as innocent as she did yesterday.
Part of me wants to wake her up with my rigid cock. To kiss her, grind against her, free my thick member from my pants and rub the tip against her clit until I can get her to relax enough to fuck her. To own that pussy. The one she’s never given to anyone. The one that will be mine.
Instead, I slide out of bed and go outside. I stop by a large tree on the perimeter of my camp and quickly unfasten my pants and pull out my cock. Spitting in my hand, I slide my cupped palm over my shaft and close my eyes, remembering her on her knees in my dream.
It felt so real. Her lips puckered around my thickness. Her wet warmth sucking at my cock. I pump my hand over my dick and get lost in the feeling. In a memory that doesn’t really belong to me, but that still feels real. My cum erupts in spurts that I watch fly in an arc over the ground, like a white rainbow, careful not to get any on me.
Fuck. That was intense.
Even in my teen years, I’ve never been one for wet dreams. But when I have gotten worked up over some chick, it’s always taken me longer than the ten seconds it just took to jerk myself to completion.
Now that the urgency to cum has been quelled and I’m thinking straight, I don’t think I’ve ever dreamt of a chick I’ve been with.
I tuck myself to the right and zip back up, mulling it over.
I’ve dated my fair share of girls. I even played house with a lady for about four months. Until I went away on a two-week exercise for the military and came home early to her banging some random guy in my bed. That was the end of that. However, before she decided to slut it up under my roof, on my mattress, using my condoms, I still never did dream of her.
Abbie is the first girl who has infiltrated my sleep that way.
I’m not sure why. I mean, obviously she’s beautiful, but I’ve been with beautiful before. It’s more than that. She’s different. I think even my subconscious knows that.
I look inside the cabin and see that she’s still asleep. There’s no good that will come of me lying back down beside her. She’s got me in too much of a frenzy.
I pluck my fishing rod from the side of the building and start to make my way down to the river. I might as well go do something useful if I’m up anyway. Besides, fishing always gives me time to think, and with Abbie on my mind, I’ve got a lot to ponder.
20
Abbie
The sound of the grill sizzling and the smell of something delicious wafting under my nose wakes me. I stretch in bed, throwing my arms wide over my head and try to figure out what he’s cooking. I can’t place the aroma, my tummy wants it to be a big
plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, but my brain knows better.
Is it weird that I want to spring out of bed and run to him? That I already miss looking at his chiseled, scruffy jaw and his intense stare, even though I just woke?
I feel like a lovesick puppy dog. Probably typical of how a girl acts toward the first guy that’s ever made her cum. Yet, the thought doesn’t settle with me. In my gut, I know this feeling runs deeper than that. It isn’t about sex. It isn’t about him saving me, or even for him caring for me. All those things are the building blocks of the great man he is. They’re all just individual parts that attract me to the greater whole.
I manage to climb out of bed without ever making any noise, so that he doesn’t turn around. Progress! Although my ankle is still sore, it’s not nearly as brutal a pain as it was yesterday. For a moment, I even consider trying to walk out on it, but think better of pushing myself too far, too fast and hop over to the chair.
“Bout time you got up,” he looks up from the fillet of fish he’s frying. “You’d think something must have worn you out for you to sleep in so late,” he teases me and gives me a wink.
I can’t help the heat that billows out over my cheeks. It seems stupid to get embarrassed when less than twenty-four hours ago he was kissing my entire naked body. I guess I’m still not used to being so exposed. So vulnerable.
But I’m willing to get used to it.
“Smells so good,” I nod at the food and sit near him. “I thought you had oatmeal for breakfast though? I didn’t sleep in that late did I? Is it already lunch?” I run my hands through my hair like a makeshift brush and tilt my head.
“Nope, you didn’t miss breaky,” he grabs a towel and pulls the hot pan from the woodstove. “This is what’s on the menu. I figure since I’m going to need to move deeper in the forest and I’ll have to get used to fending for myself for all my meals. As far as I know, there’s no elves named Snap, Crackle and Pop who are going to deliver me boxes of Rice Krispies out there, so fish for breakfast is probably something I should get used to.” He chuckles and I laugh.
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