Ian Pierce was definitely a distraction, one she would relish if they weren’t dealing with three murders. Something about the whole scenario nagged at her. She closed the file she’d been reading concerning a patient who had committed suicide six months ago. She’d tried to help Marcus Browning. When he’d called her and pleaded with her to stop him, she’d stayed on the phone with him while she sped to his apartment. She’d been too late. Her failure to help him ate at her. As with Byron, she tried to figure out what she could have done to have a different outcome. In seven years practicing, she’d never had a patient kill himself. The childhood abuse he’d endured had finally driven him to end his life.
She took a piece of paper and began writing down questions that plagued her. How did the killer have keys to get into her office and Granny’s house? Why Jane, Kelli and Missy? Was there anything other than them being her patients that connected them? If Greg killed his wife, then why Jane and Kelli? With his departure, that pointed to him being the murderer. Before that, the killer had been cagey—one step ahead of the police, able to slip in and out of a place unnoticed.
It was a big puzzle with too many pieces missing. How in the world did Ian handle this in his job?
Her eyes stung from reading so much that day. Her mind throbbed with the pressure to come up with all the answers to end this nightmare. She folded her arms on the table and laid her head down on them. When she felt herself drifting off to sleep, she jerked upright, blinking. Her gaze lit upon her empty coffee cup, and she decided to refill it.
Shoving to her feet, Caitlyn snatched up the mug and headed for the kitchen, hearing her grandmother, Emma and Alice talking in the living room. Earlier, Sean had left to go to the ranch with Emma and check in with the foreman, which meant Ian’s brother was back. She wanted to speak with him again but, with the investigation and Ian’s injury, she hadn’t had a chance. She’d glimpsed his panic at the hospital. He’d gone because Ian had, but he paced the whole time.
As she poured her coffee at the kitchen counter, Sean came in from the patio. “How was everything at the ranch?”
“Fine. One of our mares had a colt this morning. Nana wanted to see it. But really I think she was getting cabin fever.”
“Is she the only one?”
Sean walked to the coffeepot and refilled his travel mug. “No, I was too, and I’ve been out today. I hope this case is over with soon.”
Caitlyn leaned against the counter, cradling her cup between her hands. “You don’t have to stay, so why are you?”
“Because Nana might be in danger. I may not be a Texas Ranger, but I love my grandmother and I’m capable of protecting her, especially with Ian being wounded. He acts like his head injury is no big deal, but it could be. He isn’t one to ask for help.”
“Is he the only Pierce who doesn’t ask for help?”
One corner of his mouth hiked up. “Are you implying I don’t?”
“You tell me. When you were holding the gun to your head yesterday, did you think about telling someone what was bothering you?”
Sean dropped his gaze. “No. I was thinking about Jane and me never having a chance. I was tired of losing the people I love. I was...” He turned away.
She couldn’t read him. “You were what?”
“I was wondering what I had done to contribute to Jane’s death.”
She could identify with Sean, having questioned her patient’s suicide, and yet she couldn’t let Sean think he was the cause of her death. “Why would you think that? You have nothing to do with the killer. From what the police are leaning toward, it’s Missy’s husband.”
“Why did he attack Jane?”
She planted herself in front of Sean. “I don’t know. I think something was very wrong with their marriage. Her note said she was leaving him for good.”
“I know what that feels like.”
“You may, but you didn’t kill anyone because of it.”
“Technically maybe.” A nerve in his cheek twitched as he placed his mug on the counter.
“What do you mean? Does it have something to do with your mother’s or father’s deaths?”
“I caused the riding accident that killed my mother.”
“Ian told me her gelding’s hoof went into a hole. As he went down, your mom was thrown and the horse fell on her. It crushed her chest, a rib puncturing her lung.”
“Mom wouldn’t have been out on her gelding looking for me at dusk if I hadn’t run away. I fell asleep at my special fort. When I woke up, it was nearly dark, and I was hurrying back to the house when I saw the accident. If I’d just gotten up sooner or—”
Caitlyn held up her hand. “Stop right there. It was an accident. It sounds like she knew exactly where you went and was coming to get you. Things happen that are out of our control.”
“I made a choice to run away because I was angry that Mom wouldn’t let me spend the night at my best friend’s house.”
“And she made a choice to go look for you. We don’t control what others do in life. Yes, we make choices, but that isn’t exactly controlling our circumstances. We have to turn that over to the Lord.”
“But if I’d done something different, she might be alive today.”
“Or might not. Do you think your mom would want you to spend your life blaming yourself for her death?”
Sean shook his head slowly.
“It’s okay to forgive yourself. That’s what your mom would want.”
His gaze bored into her. “It’s not that simple.”
She knew it wasn’t, because she struggled with the same type of thing, but she had to counsel otherwise. “Why not? You’ve wasted many years berating yourself. It’s time to live for today. Not in the past and not in the future. One we can’t change and the other we don’t know.” If she could say this to Sean, why couldn’t she follow her own words? She hadn’t forgiven Byron.
Sean looked beyond her.
She swung around to find Ian standing at the kitchen door. His dark hair was mussed and the earlier pain in his eyes was gone. “How are you feeling?”
“A little better.” Ian shifted his attention to Sean. “Nana said you two went to the ranch. Was there a problem?”
“Nope. Just checking in with Bud.” Sean glanced at Caitlyn. “She’s been helping me. Maybe she can do the same for you.”
Ian frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
“Then, bro, why did you stay away from Longhorn for all these years? Why do you constantly move from place to place?”
“It’s called a job. I go where I’m needed.”
Sean crossed the room, saying, “If you say so,” then disappeared into the dining room.
Ian covered the distance between them. “I heard what he said to you. How’s Sean doing?”
“I think he needs to be around people right now. He’s holed himself up in his house brooding and belittling himself long enough.”
“Sean’s always been that way when he’s troubled. He clams up. I don’t remember him running away the day Mom died.”
“Maybe she didn’t tell anyone.”
“He also found Dad in his office when he collapsed. They were especially close, while I was the prodigal son.”
“That’s because your job took you all over Texas.” But like Sean, she thought there was more to why he didn’t come home often and hadn’t really put down roots.
Ian reached around Caitlyn, his arm brushing against her shoulder as he took a mug down from a shelf. “Sean’s right. I should have come home more often.” He poured himself a coffee and started for the hallway.
Caitlyn joined him. “Why didn’t you?”
He eyed her as he entered the den. “Because I didn’t want to run into you—at least that was my reason at first.”
“Why were you avoiding me?”
He put hi
s mug on the game table and faced her. “The truth?”
“Always.”
“Most of the time during the holidays, I subbed in for highway patrol officers who had families.”
“But you missed being with your own family a lot of that time.”
He closed the space between them. “Why did you break our date that night and then leave town? At the very least, I wanted to talk to you face-to-face. You didn’t. What did I do wrong? I thought we had a connection that was becoming more than friendly.”
How could she tell him about the biggest mistake she’d made? Only Granny knew the truth in Longhorn. “We did—we do.”
Ian clasped both her hands and held them up between them—a barrier between them but also a physical link. “Then what happened?”
The pain and fear she’d suffered all those years ago surged through her, robbing her of her voice. At the time, all she’d wanted to do was hide, feeling scared and disillusioned. She’d thought she’d dealt with this in order to help others who had been raped, especially by someone they knew.
“You want to know why I didn’t come home much through the years? It was the feelings of betrayal, humiliation and anger. At twenty-two, recently graduated from college and getting a job as a highway patrol officer, I wasn’t as jaded and aware of the bad things people, even very close ones, could do to another. I’d just gone into law enforcement to help others who couldn’t help themselves. I wanted to make a difference in a person’s life.”
“You have. I’m not sure how I would have coped with what has been going on without you here.”
His gaze bonded with hers. “I won’t let anything happen to you or our loved ones.” He inhaled a deep breath and held it for a long moment, then exhaled it slowly. “While you were away at the University of Texas, I finished getting my degree. My last semester in college I met a woman I thought I loved and wanted to marry. I even planned an elaborate dinner and gave her an engagement ring. We didn’t live together, but she had a key to my apartment in Dallas. She loved to cook and often came over while I was working and fixed dinner for us. When I was working an extra-long shift, she’d go to my place and walk my dog.”
As he talked about this woman he’d loved and wanted to marry, jealousy stabbed her heart. It could have been her, if not for the circumstances of her goodbye date with Byron. She had questions she would like to ask, but there was a part of her that didn’t want to hear the answers. She’d made a bad decision at eighteen that had changed her whole life. She’d used her pain to help others, but still she couldn’t forgive Byron.
“One night when I came home after a tense day at work, all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I couldn’t. I’d been robbed. The family coin collection, handed down several generations, was stolen. It was valuable and something I wanted to continue building on for my children. I felt like I lost part of my past, and then later I discovered my bank account was wiped out too. My first thought was that I was glad Kylie hadn’t come over to prepare a dinner as she’d offered. But it didn’t take long to figure out who she was. That’s when I did a deep background check on her and realized I wasn’t her first victim. I’m a law enforcement officer, and I was fooled. You’re the first person I’ve ever told. All I wanted to do was get far away from here. I transferred to Brownsville and buried myself in my work. I was determined no one would ever get the best of me again.”
Caitlyn nodded. “I’ve made mistakes in reading other people’s intentions. Some people are very good at hiding what they’re really feeling or thinking. It can be hard for me when I’m counseling a patient. I’ve even had a few that I never could uncover what was really going on. Missy was like that. She wanted help but couldn’t voice the real reason she came to see me. There are people who are paralyzed by their abuse and can’t get beyond it, no matter how much someone wants to help.”
He tugged her closer, their clasped hands still between them. “You haven’t told me why you canceled our date and left town. At least as a friend, I deserved a more detailed explanation than a brief voice mail. I wanted a chance to convince you otherwise.”
“I know, and that’s why I left without saying anything else.” The words she should have told him years ago lodged in her throat, burning, demanding release finally.
He let go of his hold on her and stepped back. “You may be good at drawing things from others, but you aren’t good at letting a person get close. Why? That wasn’t the way you were when we were growing up.”
She stared at a spot halfway between them on the floor. I was date-raped. Byron stripped away all my faith in people, destroyed my judgment and left me vulnerable and wounded. She couldn’t say those words. She wanted to let him get close, but...
“I have some calls to make. I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll make them in another room.” Ian pivoted and strode off.
“Wait!” She’d held this inside for way too long. She told many patients the only way to deal with a problem was to confront it head-on, or it would grow and fester inside. Time didn’t wipe it away.
He stopped at the doorway but didn’t turn.
She closed the steps between them and in a low voice said, “I was raped.”
Ian spun around.
She kept her gaze on his chest, afraid of what she would see in his eyes. “Remember when we started seeing each other, I told you I had a date to a dance with another guy? I went with Byron, since it had been planned for a while. We had dated off and on for several months. That night I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. I knew that soon I wanted to be exclusive with you. He didn’t like that. He accused me of playing games with him. He forced himself on me, no matter how many times I told him no. I...” She swallowed several times to smooth her dry throat.
Ian cradled her head between his hands and lifted her face until she looked into his eyes, a sheen in them. “I’m so sorry, Caitlyn. Did you go to the police?”
She shook her head, her tears blurring her vision. “By the time I got the courage to do that, he’d left the area. I heard he’d enlisted in the army. A couple of years later, a rumor went around Longhorn that he’d died in the Middle East. But since his family no longer lived here either, I couldn’t get that confirmed. If I saw him today, I would report it, but the statute of limitations on the crime has lapsed. But...”
“He still haunts you?”
She nodded. “I didn’t have any resolution with him. I didn’t realize how important that was to be able to move on.”
“I learned that too. I have unfinished business with Kylie. How do you let it go and live your life without hanging on to their betrayal?”
“Granny listened to my story. She told me I needed to go to the police and then to church to pray for the ability to forgive Byron. At the time, I did neither. I still haven’t forgiven him. I feel as though it hangs over me. As Christians, we’re supposed to forgive. Jesus forgave us. I tell my patients to do that. But I haven’t.”
“I’m still searching for Kylie but, like you, even if I found her, it’s too late to charge her. It was just money, and her actions still have control over me.”
“I wish I had canceled my date with Byron. No telling where you and I would be now.”
He slowly dipped his head toward her. When his mouth was an inch from hers, he whispered, “We have a second chance to make things right. A lot of people don’t get that.”
She closed her eyes and brushed her lips against his. Suddenly arms enclosed her in an embrace. His kiss, as it deepened, sought to stake a claim on her heart. She melted against him.
The sound of a chuckle behind Ian broke them apart as he swung around to face Granny and Emma, who sobered quickly. “Ian, the sheriff is here to see you and Caitlyn. Should we tell him to come back later? We don’t want to interrupt y’all.”
He looked sideways at Caitlyn. “We’re never going to hear the end of this.”
“N
ope,” Granny said as she moved into the room. “Emma, I think they can take a few minutes out of their—” she cleared her throat “—busy schedule to see Tom. Bring him in here while they pull themselves together.”
“Granny!”
As Emma left, Caitlyn’s grandmother chuckled again. “Believe me, I’d rather you two keep kissing, but I want my life back as soon as y’all figure out who is killing your patients.”
“Really, Granny! If my face isn’t on fire, it should be.”
“All I have to say is it’s about time you two saw what Emma and I have known for years.”
Caitlyn exchanged a look with Ian, whose cheeks were as red as hers felt. He quickly made his way back to the table, as though they had been busy working there. Caitlyn joined him as the sheriff came into the den and closed the door, leaving Granny and Emma in the hall.
Tom hooked his thumbs in his belt. “Kelli’s ex-husband, Clark, is in town. Allison called me, crying and upset.”
All thoughts of her earlier embarrassment fled as Caitlyn listened to the sheriff. Could Clark Williams be the killer instead of Missy’s husband, Greg?
TEN
Ian glanced at Caitlyn, all blushing washed from her cheeks, then back at Tom. “Where is Kelli’s ex-husband?”
“Allison saw her father at Shop and Go right outside of town earlier, but he didn’t see her. I had a deputy pick him up as he was driving toward Houston. He’s bringing him in. I thought you should be in on the interview if you’re up for it, Ian.”
“Yes. I wonder if he was driving through or if he’s been here for a while.”
“That’s the first question we’ll ask him.” The sheriff switched his attention to Caitlyn. “I’d like you there observing the interview, but not in the same room as Williams. I’ll have it set up that you can have Ian ask any questions you think might help. You knew best about the volatile relationship Kelli and her husband had. Besides, Ian shouldn’t be driving.”
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